Announcing My New Pregnancy?

One thing I've learned in my own life:

Joy doesn't disrespect grief.

They can exist at the same time and be completely separate from each other. Sane token (leaving that as a freudian typo); fear is healthy... living in fear isn't.

I found the human heart is an amazing thing. I could mourn my daughter, but still be overjoyed by my son. (Although, I too, didn't want everyone and their brother getting in the middle of what was an emotionally charged affair). I didn't relax, ever, about my son dying. I only lost my daughter between 6 & 7 months... but she could have/ would have/ what if... she died before she had a chance to live, and so far away from incubators & doctors she never had a chance. I think about her often; she'd be 13 turning 14 this year. she's one of the 2 biggest "what ifs" in my life, and I mourn her... but I take amazing joy in my son. But the thought of his death stills me. I have to work VERY hard to set it aside... and he's 8. Fortunately I think about his death less and less as he grows older... but it wipes my mind. I couldn't deal.

No matter what, it will be hard. Other people will do things that will Tick. You. Off. and be the exact worst things possible that they could do or say. So when you feel ready to deal with that... tell them.

Take all the timeyou need-who would blame you?-God bless!

You tell them when you are ready. Prepare your announcement and save it for when the day comes. I understand (probably no where near to the depth though) you wanting to hold this close. I had a number of first trimester miscarriages. I am 17 weeks and have only shared my joy with the important people and those I am unable to hide it from. The majority of our friends have not been let in yet. I think once I pass twenty weeks and the next ultrasound I will be ready for full disclosure.

No one can put a time-limit on your grief or your joy and readiness to share. Those near and dear will hopefully understand your hesitancy.

Thanks for opening up to us and I wish you all the best wig this pregnancy and after.

Wow thats rough-losing a baby in labor. I know you are trying to protect yourself, but I think once you show you need to tell. So I think you are there. I lost one at the end of first trimester. My way of protecting myself was to go ahead and tell family i was pregnant the next pregnancy, but also to tell them I was not getting my hopes up. I didn't want people to be more excited than I was when I was still trying to guard myself. If you do a big production on the announcement, then it says you are excited. They will be excited for you. If thats too much pressure, then be low key about the announcing and let your family know you are afraid to get to excited until baby is here and safe. You can wait as long as you want, but they are going to know because they know you. If you are like me your fear is that you are not ready for other people to be excited, because you are afraid to let yourself get attached to the idea of having a baby in case you are in for more disappointment. The way I dealt with this is that I told my family the fact that I was pregnant, but asked that they not act like it was a sure thing because I was still scared.

I offer you my condolances to you for your lost love. I understand how this is a very emotional pregnancy for you, but I hope you'll allow yourself and your family to also love and enjoy this time. It's ok to allow yourself to be happy about this child, and still mourn for the child you lost. Riley J.'s response said it very well.

As you know there are no guarantees in life, but the fact that you deserve support in your happiness and your fears is real. Your family can help you through this time. I think you may want to tell them because you have your announcement planned already. Please know that you did not disappoint or let anyone down. You did not fail. You do not need to hide this pregnancy, it will not have any effect on its outcome. It only would make you be alone with all these emotions. Your fear is understandable but don't let it isolate you and your husband. You both need to celebrate this child, just as you did with the child you lost. Sending you hugs and prayers and support.

Congratulations on the new little life you are growing!
V.

I understand wanting to wait until you are bringing your baby home but if you do that you have to be prepared to go ahead and purchase everything you will need because no one will be able to throw you a shower.

I would say it is time to tell those closest to you and then if want to wait for those extended family members (those that you won't see) then do so.

Congrats and good luck.

If you were to lose this baby, would you then tell those family members about it at that time? Because keeping it a secret from them doesn't seem like the healthiest thing to me, for you. You would want their support and love. But first you'd have to completely shock them and deal with their anger about that. I'm assuming that the chances of this happening again are slim, and so you would be calling them out of the blue to tell them you have a brand new baby? They would be hurt and upset, instead of delighting in this new life that you are so excited and happy about. And you would be denying yourself (and them) the enjoyment of the pregnancy as well. It's totally normal to want to wait for a while, keep it your own little secret both to make sure the pregnancy is ok and to give yourself time to enjoy it privately. But waiting until the pregnancy is over or til the very end seems like starting out the baby's life in a negative way. There are never any guarantees with anything. No matter when you tell them, there is a small chance that something could happen, now or years down the road. I don't think you should deny everyone, yourself included, the chance to celebrate the pregnancy and new baby.

And congratulations!

I feel you will know when its the right time!!!!!! Go with your instinct..Your idea is a really good one especially if you have facebook..Neat....Congrats on your pregnancy and Best wishes!

My advice it its your life and if you are scared or worried and they are close family they will understand why you waited they may get a little up set but they love you and will respect your dession even more when they no the baby is safe and coming home they will forget all about you not telling them they will be to excited it is your dession good luck you prayers go out you

I think the right time to share the news is different for everyone. I've had two first trimester miscarriages. Both times I got pregnant we told just a small number of close family and friends. When we suffered our losses it was so helpful to have the support of those people. I had to put on a happy face and go about my life for the most part but having at least a few people who understood what I was going through made it that much easier for me. We will be ttc again very soon now and I'm hoping for good news this time! I am going to tell the same people and hope to be able to celebrate with them this time but also know that if things go wrong again they will be there for me.

You are past the first trimester which is the most dangerous part, so you should feel really proud of yourself for that. I am so sorry about the first baby, but remember how excited and happy everyone was when you found out? Don't YOU and the baby and your husband all deserve to go through that again? New life should be celebrated even though its scary and could end. I think that you should at least tell your family and close friends and be honest with them that you are scared and nervous and let them give you the support that you need. That's why we have them! I hope that everything goes well for you and the new little one.

Typically its advised to wait until after your 1st trimester (which really anything can happen and any stage as you experienced, sorry about having to go through that. my mother experience the same thing. This is really an issue of your understandable fear, but you should share the news and also share your concerns with your family and friends and just ask for lots and lots of prayer.

I would just tell people! I mean I am about to give birth to our 2nd set of twins and it's emotional too. I will have 5 kids when they're born and there is a lot of emotions, if you will only have 1 kid I think you'll be fine.