Am I the Only One? - Florida,NY

You are not alone! The details are different but I often feel disorganized and overwhelmed too. I have 2 preschool age kids rather than one with a lot going on but I also have hampers of clean laundry to fold (especially socks). I went on a cleaning binge last week, which is not usual for me. My house is cleaner (for now) but my kids watched too much tv for a few days. I wouldn't say it is balance, more like rotating the priorities. I don't know any brilliant secrets. Getting in the habit of picking up one thing when you finish a task helps--when you do it and don't get distracted.

You are not the only one!!! I'm a stay at home mom, working husband, cleaning lady, and I still can't do it. Don't be so hard on yourself! You have a full plate. What I've started to do is take one task at a time. I take one project at a time, and it seems that I'm slowly getting organized. The laundry, well, I've no clue how to catch up. And maybe counceling. But drugs may be taking it a little far. We all go through this at some point in our journey as mothers. You need a break.

Ummmm. You *are* organized.

You are organizing speech therapy, OT, and special ed for your son. Also organizing a special diet and keeping track of supplements. And cooking meals (and probably doing other care) for your elderly MIL. Plus animals. Plus the yard.

There is always some give and take in life, and no one can do everything. Right now, the laundry, the way you dress, exercise, and time alone with your husband is taking last priority. This may be appropriate. It may not be. Only you can decide this.

You have two choices:
1. Decide your priorities are in line with your values. Be realistic about you can and can't do. Stop beating yourself up about being a human being with limited time and energy.
2. Decide your priorities need modification. This means dropping something you are currently doing in favor of adding in something else. Is there anything that you currently value less than laundry that is taking up time and energy? Drop it and organize laundry instead.

Sometimes you can do something creative and counterintuitive that frees up extra time and energy. For example, when I can actually take a real sabbath, I often find I get more done in six days than in seven. But usually, it is a game of give and take.

Stop comparing yourself to an ideal. Instead, strive to do the best you can with the resources you've got.....and let it be good enough.

Good luck!

Where is your husband in all this? You are both unemployed so he should be helping, is he? You have this huge list of what your doing, no wonder you overwhelmed sweetie. Some of these things your hubs could be doing too. If it's 50/50 it isn't so overwhelming. Sit down and figure out everything you do and need to do and split it. A little time management between both of you so you can have some you time too :)

Make your peace with the laundry...you'll never catch up, because you always create more. I try to do a load when I can during the week or weekend, and hit one day where I do six loads.

As hard as it is, what you need to do is find SOME help...just for a weekend...a friend, your husband, someone from church, whatever...to take care of your son (in your home, so you can be there for support) and dedicate the WHOLE weekend to your house. Start in one room, take some laundry baskets or boxes, throw everything in that doesn't belong, rearrange furniture, clean thoroughly, organize, etc...then move to the next room, deposit whatever you've found that belongs there, and repeat. I do this two to four times a year, and it will get you ahead of yourself. It'll feel so good to get it done...and maybe you can do it in one day. Sacrifice one day (as hard as it is, believe me, I understand).

Also, if you clean more frequently, you save tons of time. Wipe down the sink/shower after using it, etc, and you don't have to deep clean as much. When you're just sitting watching your son play, or whatever, dust the furniture in that room. Fold laundry while watching TV. :)

And I hear you about the weight thing. I don't have a single spare moment, and it's depressing. I used to be so fit and thin...now, I could stand to lose 30 pounds, but it just won't go because I don't have time to exercise. Also, I haven't had a moment alone with my husband in over a year (baby with special needs, lots of illness, but doing so much better...we also have to follow a dairy free/gluten free diet for her.)

That's my best advice, though...having a clean, organized house helps your peace of mind. :)

No, your not the only one. I am a disorganized scatterbrain, and I dont even have as much on my plate as you. Try to make some time for your self. I hope it gets less stressful for you guys soon!

you know that your unemployment/life's challenges are taking a toll on you.....but I truly believe you can deal with all of this without meds, without counseling. Each time you feel overwhelmed, grab your son & take a walk! You will be amazed at how much this will lift your spirits....+ your son will be happy, too!

With the exception of your job issues, most other moms are facing life challenges similar to yours. My DH & I are coming up on our 30 yr anniv.... & we've had children for 24 of those years. During the past 24 years, we have had a total of 3 years without overwhelming medical expenses. I've had a miscarriage, I've lost my daughter during her 2nd heart surgery, & my older son battled a degenerative hip disease from age 6 until his hip replacement last year at age 23. ( I remember many times where I pushed him in his wheelchair & he pushed my younger son's stroller! That was just our life at that time!) My DH lost his dream job & took a pay cut of $9/hour....& I went back to work, eventually starting my own inhome daycare. We almost lost our house. Lots of bad/evil events, but thru it all - I never/ever gave up.

I had piles of laundry & dishes. Some days, there was dust on the furniture & sticky floors. BUT, my sons knew they had a mom & a dad.....& they were (for the most part) happy & content. One of my mom's friends gave me the BEST compliment in the world: she said that she knew that my kids were happy, because - not only did I let them play - but I also played with them. With my daycare, I have carried that commitment through on a daily basis. A few years ago, one of the moms said..."S., I just realized that you don't spend your time doing laundry or taking care of your stuff.... you are spending the entire day with my child!" She said it meant a lot to her to know that I was committed to caring for her DD & not spending my time watching soaps.

So, that's my recommendation for you: Your time is filled with honest activities. You are a caretaker....& that is part of life as a wife, mother, DIL. Find it within yourself to rejoice in your roles in life. Make your son a part of each of these activities & you'll be teaching him important life skills to boot! There is nothing wrong with a 4yo folding laundry....& make sure you don't micromanage his results....there's nothing wrong with a crooked fold on a towel! I hope this helps....Peace to you!

Girl we are all diorganized at one point or another. The more I try to organize our house (toys, clothes, everything) the more my hubby messes it up and then complains how messy and cluttered the house is. O-Well I tell him. As for appt and things - I have two calenders 1 on the fridge and my personal organizer book. I have lists all over the house to remind me to do this or that, stick notes have become my best friend. Oh we have a 5 yo, 4 yo, 1 yo and are due w/ our last in Nov. Even though we are SAHM's there is no way we can keep it all together. I have my moments when I break down and cry, but then I have to get right back up and get at it again. Try to make time for yourself. I know easier said than done. Good Luck momma. Your doing an awesome job!

You are not the only one! I understand and so do most moms!
Take it easy & take everything in little chunks!
If you are not a super organized person by nature, it makes things harder.
And it takes MORE to be organized for you (and me). :)
You don't have to be supermom.
Are your kids loved? Well fed? Well taken care of? If you answer yes, then you are golden! :)
-Use a calendar or organizer to keep yourself organized and for your son's appts.
-Keep a running grocery list of items you need for your son's diet.
-Update it weekly or however you need it.
-Keep on top of his supplements
-The calendar will keep track of your play dates, therapist appts, gym class, play therapy. If you do it on the computer, you can update it and print it.
-Tackle daily things (dinner, feeding the animals) and weekly (making dinners for your mom's elderly mom-
You do so much and should be commended. :)
Do a few things for yourself (MOST IMPORTANTLY TAKING CARE OF YOUR HEALTH: vitaimins, rest, sleep, eating right, exercise if you can), getting out with a friend 1 hr each time twice a month to go shopping or have lunch/dinner
Let the things go that you do not need to truly care about: overly clean home, extra laundry (I do most of mine in evening too or early a.m.)
-Try to go out w/hubby to dinner once a month?
-I have a calendar on the wall and one I take w/me everywhere to keep track of any appts I make via my cell phone.
-I let the lawn go, the house no longer looks as good as it did pre-kids, laundry gets done when it works for me as opposed to a scheduled time.
-I treat myself to a magazine here and there, library books, a dollar movie rental here and there, no frivoulous pedicures anymore but I make up for it in other ways (watching funny shows that make me laugh, buying comfy t-shirts on sale since I live in shirts and capris
- For fun, I email, get on mamapedia, read old magazines, watch the comedy channel for a few mins for laughter, make lists/goals/where I'd like to take a family vacation when we get a chance, text my friends for sanity. :)
- I no longer buy expensive makeup but I find a cheap, animal cruelty free lipgloss I like at the drugstore and buy it.
-I occasionally treat myself to take out sushi or takeout from my favorite inexpensive restaurant.
-If someone offers you help, take it. Wether it's folding laundry or watching your sone for a few mins (only if you trust them!).
Wishing you the best of every day! Take it one day at a time & take it easy when you can! You are not alone and giving yourself a few mins every day makes you a better mom. Hang in there. It will get easier. :)

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It's just.... life. Except I have three children, Fibromyalgia and associated chronic problems with it, my middle child has Autism and several health problems and additional neurological disorders associated with it on top of her restricted and self-restricted diet, demanding friends and family who I'm happy to help, depression, anxiety, two cats that own me, etc, blah blah blah.

I thrive on it. I love it. Well, except for the chronic pain and fatigue. I could do without that noise. But I do it all because I have to and because if I didn't then no one else would. Being organized is great but it can be over-rated. If I find that the effort to be organized is causing me stress then I take a breather, step back, and overhaul my schedule and routine. We start from scratch. We reorganize.

Try www.flylady.net. It's made such a huge difference in my life. Maybe it'll work for you, too.

I'm going through the same thing right now, just different events. I'm going through periomenopause, son's going through puberty, (Augh! Too much testoserone!) hubby's going through mid-life, and MIL is going through the senior citizen, "Got to do it before I die" syndrome. (That means MIL is picky and money hungry.) Hubby and I finally bought our dream house, but MIL also decided to buy a co-op at the same time and was short money...You guessed it, she thinks we're money bags so a lot of our projects are on hold or scaled down for our dream house. Hubby and I have been spending every night and week-end working on the dream house, so no time for organizing or cleaning. The best I can do is to get up earlier in the morning to vacum the floor, since we have extreme shedders in the house and messy eaters. I vacum around 6:00AM. (Everyone's asleep and out of my way.) The wash sits in a basket in our room in a corner util I have the time to fold it and put it away. I try to keep the baskets down to just 2. Once in a while (not always) MIL will help with the laundry by putting away my son's and husband's cloths...Sometimes she gets the clothes mixed up. Every Sat. morning at 6:00AM I start the wash, sometimes Fri. night. (MIL protests Fri. night. :eyes roll:) While the wash is on Sat. morning, I get the bagels and walk the dog. (The dog is my "savior" I thank God everyday for our dog.) When I get back from the Bagel shop, I put another load of laundry on and hang up the clothes with the dog by my side. (Got to have company.) By the time hubby, son, and MIL wake up all the laundry is done and hanging out and breakfast is on the table. (All of us eat breakfast, including me.) As for exercise....I can't do it in the morning, because I'm so stiff...To tired at night from working on dream house....It's just easier to eat smaller/ low-cal. meals to at least maintain my weight. As for dress....I like being casual. (Yeah, no nail polish...well sometimes I do my nails while watching TV at night.) I have a perm, so it's wash n' go. I've been pulling it back with a few scraggles down the sides to look like a princess/godess. (Ha,ha.) As for clothes...T-shirts with "cool" designs and comfortable jogging pants. Hey...I just discovered something....Hubby's right...I do look cute as I am....and so do you! Oh, bills...How can I forget? I always have a special spot for important mail and bills only, then I pay them every Sunday night, so they go out Monday morning.

Bottom line...You're a mom, I'm a mom. The only things that matter are our hubbies think we're "hot" and our children still love us. The rest of the house will get done, when it gets done.

Simplify where you can. Get rid of clutter, if you have too much stuff, get rid of it. If the animals are too much, I am sorry but re-home them. Have you checked out Flylady.com? Good home organization program - basically doing things in 15 minute increments and 5 minute increments. Good luck!

I urge you to talk with your doctor and consider counseling. The combination of all that you're involved with and your description of how you feel sounds like you're depressed. You have every reason to be. Get some help. Medication will help as will counseling. The best is a combination of both.

Because you're unemployed you're eligible for State and local medical assistance.