Am I Nuts? I Am 40 with a Teen and a Tween - and Want Another Baby. Thoughts?

No, you are not crazy. My mother in law regrets not having a 3rd child... my youngest is 8, and I also yearn for another baby in the house. My mom had me at 38, bit I was not planned. By the time they had me, they were "done" raising kids. That being said, i'm glad they had me!!

I don't think you're crazy at all. I am also 40 and feel the same way (I already have 3). It is not anything I can rationally explain, so I don't try. I think the suggestion that you adopt, simply because you are 40, is ridiculous. The logic applies at any age. There will always be children who need to be adopted and women who are pregnant (at any age) don't have to explain why they aren't adopting! You seem to know what you want. Sounds like a plan to me.

I say, if you feel fine with it, than go ahead!! Age is ONLY a number. My husband is 56 and we have a 3 yo and a 3 mo old, and we're not done yet...hopefully!! :) Don't fret over how old you'll be when the kid is such and such age. As long as you are in good health, then I'd go for it!!

A. I don't think you're nuts at all! I have friends over 40 that are still having babies and been successful. Sure there is a chance of difficulties but maybe not. Should that stop you from following your heart? Wouldn't 9 months of difficulties be worth having a beautiful baby bless your life? Bringing a life into this world is such a blessing. Babies come into this world to many woman that don't want one or have them but don't care for them at all. Your baby will be so fortunate to be born to such a amazing Mom as you. Never have regrets. You can control that. Talk to your doctor and get an opinion, see if he advises against it first.

Maybe you'll change your mind and realize you do not want to take the risk, but whatever you decide, make sure it's what YOU WANT.

Peace & Blessings to you!

I did too, then came to my senses! You said you recently turned 40. I just turned 48 and it was within the last 5-7 years that I had the same yearning. I now have an almost 20 year old and 15 year old so the kids were about the same age too.
I won't tell you exactly what my husband said, but there were a lot of adjectives in front of the NO!

Then I remembered the teething, ear infections, accidents, etc. Plus I had complications with both of mine and lost one in between. Now that they are really almost on their own, it is such a nice feeling.

Of course you need to do what works best for you and your family And I do believe that things happen in our lives for a reason. But as someone once told me, be careful what you wish for! :)

Hi.

I will be 40 in May. My kids are eleven and seven, one of each. I am such a baby person. My husband and I kind of planned on three but because of finances never stopped birth control to conceive the third. Sometimes I still wish and wonder (especially when the pottery barn kids catalog comes with the adorable nurseries - lol).

When my sister announced she was pregnant with her first I was happy for her and suprisingly sad for me. My nephew is now two and a half. My sister is 41. She is a super mom, but he is exhausting. I can't imagine doing it all over again now at 40. I really gave this a lot of thought about how your lifestyle would change - diapers, no quick trips, potty training again and the impact on the older kids. I decided I was done. When she told me she was pregnant with number two I was very pleased with myself that I was only happy for her and looking forward to auntiness for me!

However, with that said, if God was to bless me with a surprise I would not be unhappy. :)

Think of the impact on your lives - all of you. Talk with your kids as well as your husband. A baby will change your family dynamic. I know many will disagree with me, but I think everyone should have a right to voice their feellings although of course the ultimate decision is made by you and your husband.

Good luck.

When I saw the photos of Sandra Bullock with her baby this week, I thought "oh a baby"! Gosh I would love to hold one and love on one..

And then I went and had a White Russian, watched a DVD, and went to bed and slept great. The next morning, I thought, are you crazy? 18 years in charge of another life? I am a few years older than you so that would make me almost 70 when the child leaves for college!

Right now I am starting a project I have always wanted to do, our daughter is away at College, so we have been like newlyweds. I am going out and seeing friends whenever I want. Decorating our home the way we want. Planning fun stuff with our daughter this summer that involves running and blowing any time we want.. We get up and go at a drop of the hat...

Instead, we have a new neighbor and I am planning on seeing if she would like a babysitter every once in a while..

My kids were 10 years apart and when my son was 10, for some reason, I felt it was time to have another baby,
Never mind that I wasn't married and didn't have any of my reproductive organs left.....I still had that longing for another baby.

Talk about crazy...it wasn't even physically possible!
I had a hysterectomy shortly after my son was born so I always just thought that I wanted another baby so badly because I knew I couldn't have one. But, that longing was still really there.
My husband's son was 18 when our baby was born.
These things happen!
I know several women who've had babies later in life because they thought they'd been through menopause. God has a way of surprising us sometimes.
If I could have had another baby, I would have. No doubt about it. I don't know any "older" parent that's regretted it.

Keep praying about it. Consider the lengths to which you are willing to go.
They told me I'd never have any children and I got two of them without IVF or anything so I know God does give us what he thinks we need.

My daughter will be 24 in October and I have resigned myself to looking forward to grandchildren instead of raising another baby. But that's just me.
I hope you will come to the conclusion of what is best for you.
You and your husband, and God, will have to decide to what lengths you will go.

I really do wish you the best!

Hello!

I just wanted to say, WOW! YOU ARE SO COURAGEOUS! lol... I am just going to tell you about my somewhat venturing life, and let you take it as you want. I am 31, very happily married, have an outspoken, dare devil 11 year old, a wants to be big, 2 year old, and a angel with horns, 9 month old. I waited 10 years before having a second child, 18 months later had our last baby. I love and adore our kids, but am somedays I wonder if we would be living in Hawaii, if we only had the one child. Sometimes, I think we were crazy to have not one, but two more kids, when I see how difficult my oldest had dealt with it, knowing his attention and holiday gifts went from always him to thirds now. You are already above me, in experience points with having children older then mine and of course, would not have to experience this, but I am curious if you are feeling the empty nest syndrome,, and may have the desire to have a baby again, so you will feel needed as a mother, when teh other kids are old enough to live on their own. I admire any parent who has survived their kids throughout all the learning years from day one, until the day they grow up and move out of the house. I, lol, hope I am one of those surviving parents. I admire you, and I hope you find the answer you are looking for. I would hope you consider everything, in future tense, so to speak, as what your life will be like in 20 years, if you gave any time up that you would have had for yourself, to do with your husband, to do the things you may not have done while raising your kids, before considering having another child. With that being said, good luck & hugs!

I will be 40 in July and would love to have another baby (my boys are 6 and 12). However, my husband is 47, and as much as he loves being a father, he doesn't want to start over again at his age. Honestly, I would probably be overwhelmed with exhaustion too, and I had tons of pregnancy and delivery complications, so I would dread all of that. We are going remain a happy family of four, but I do understand your longing for another child. Good luck with your decision; it's a difficult one.

I would have babies until the day I died except I just learned in my anatomy class that we do not develop more eggs. We have the amount we are born with. The older we get the more our eggs are exposed to radiation, pollution, toxins, etc. That is why the older we get the greater our chance for having a baby with Down Syndrome and the like. I think that if it were me I would do tons of research first.

I am 43 and I have a 19, 15, and a 6. I would have another one in a heartbeat. I love kids and they are my greatest accomplishment. Unfortunately, I do not feel like I would be able to carry another one. That is one aspect that you have to consider. That is only a question that you can answer. I feel that this would be a very personal decision that you and your husband can only answer. If this is something that you both want then there should be nothing to stop you.

You have to follow your heart and do what is right for you and your family. Having a baby at 40 might be the right thing for you and your husband. To answer your question "Am I Nuts?" Yes you are Nuts, I am 43 and I could not imagine going through another pregnancy and having another baby. But that is just me.

my kids are 19 yrs and 3 weeks apart. your no more crazier than me. infact less crazy. The only thing I will tell you is pregnancy was harder for me at 40 lots of back pain lower and after I had him same deal. my body had a hard time carrying his weight but he is bigger than my oldest. My labor took alot longer at 40. my post partum lasted longer. I had border line blood sugar problems a sinus infection for 5 months if this had anything to do with my age I dont know. welcome to the advanced maternal age meaning you are old. :)

I hope I don't upset you but honestly why would you put yourself through a dangerous pregnancy when there are millions of children right here in the US that need homes and don't have one. I would adopt if I were you.

I've got a little experience in this area. I'm going to tell you the raw truth. Let me just get this part out of the way - I love my little ones more than life. They give me purpose and direction and keep me young. However, there have been some real challenges.
How do your older children really feel about it? Have any of you thought through how it will change everyone's lives? I had 2 new babies when my daughter was 13. It mortified her! Absolutely pissed her off. She was so embarassed. Her freinds would say with shocked looks on thier face "Your Moms Having a Baby? But how OLD is she?" Not to mention, when we go places people think they are her babies. Embarassment is a big deal to a tween. Plus she had to share my attention and split resources... Money, time, space in the home, etc. Then comes the babysitting responsibilities. It's not a teen or tweens dream scenario. That being said my daughter loves them dearly and is very proud of them now. But it was rough for a couple of years. And those were years I should really have been more focused on her and more available to her. I was constrained by naptime and breastfeeding, etc. I was tired! Of course my daughter did still need me, but in a new role. I was too self centered (that's so hard to admit) to make that transition with her and became so tired, pregnant, busy, that when she did reach out for my help, I barely lived up to it.
That leads me to my next point. The reason I decided to have more babies...if I'm being honest with myself. It's because my daughter was working out her independance from me. She was spending summers with her dad, weekends with granma. She wasn't around much anymore. I didn't feel needed in that same nurturing mother way that I did when she was younger. I was always her hero. She used to say "mommy fixes everything." Then one day she didn't need me to fix anything anymore. No more broken toys or skinned knees that need mommys kiss. She stopped crawling in bed with me. My identity is wrapped up in being mommy. It's the only thing I've felt really good at. I missed being needed. I missed having someone dependant on me. I missed having someone think I hung the moon and could do no wrong. I started to wonder what the next stage of my life would be. I could go to cooking school, finally have some time for myself? No thanks! That scared me to death. Fear of failure, a feeling of abandonment. Much easier to stick to what I know. Of course, I didn't indentify these driving forces at the time. Hind sight and all. I put 2 people on the planet and forever changed the lives of each member of my family so that I could have someone love me unconditionally again. (also hard to admit)
New baby sounds so wonderful and is so wonderful, but...Somedays something happens that's a slap to reality. I think - "Oh what did I get myself into?" Do you know we were doing drivers ed the same time we were potty training. Researching colleges at the same time as enrolling in pre-k. Now I pay a crazy daycare bill and it's time to start paying for college. Senior year is unbelievably expensive. Pictures, announcements, cap and gown, PROM! all while paying this high daycare bill. The kids need new clothes once a month because they grow so fast. I wasn't prepared for the fiancial burden of toddlers at the same time as a high school senior and now a college freshman. Family activities are difficult because where can I take toddlers and teenagers that they will both be happy? Plus my relationship with my husband has had to change. At this stage we would love to be able to take romantic getaways. That's just not going to happen. If we decide we want to go sit on a patio and have a margarita we have top get a $40 babysitter. So, we rarely get time to enjoy each other. It's a carefully planned production when we do, never a spur of the moment whim.
Now I wonder for these 2. How is going to be for them to have the oldest mom in the class. When I drop them off at school and meet teachers are they going to think I'm the gramma? Am I going to be able to relate to them when they are 16 and I'm a sr citizen?

There are some benefits to doing this again. I appreciate the milestones more and I am much better at rolling with the punches. I'm not in such a hurry, trying to be on the go as when I had a baby at 21. I don't feel the need to party, so, I'm much happier being home all the time. I have more to offer as I have been through a lot raising a daughter by myself. I get true joy from my children. I'm content to sit on a park bench or at McDonalds playland and watch them play. I look forward to thier little hugs and thier sweet baby laughter.
I just wanted to share with you my real life, everyday, living with the consequences, experiences. the good, the bad, and the ugly. I hope this helps.

Ecclesiaties observes that there is a time and a season for everything. The stresses of pregnancy and new parenthood are probably best left younger adults just entering the householder stage of life. Those of us with age and experience are the wise elders and often important community leaders.

Seems to me that our ovaries are made to run out of eggs about the time we begin to face the issue of aging. I felt really young and energetic up through 42, and then a whole slew of health issues landed on me at once, and have only gotten more challenging since (menopause took a further toll). I adore children, and my regular "Granny Friday" with my 4yo grandboy is the high point of my week. But I tell you honestly, I don't think I'd survive more than the occasional 2-night sleepover. I'm exhausted afterward.

Of course, some people will not have such severe health challenges. Some will have worse. The problem is that we don't know whether they will develop until they do. Just something to think about.

There are lots of other ways to get those baby hits. Hospitals really need people to cuddle and care for newborns, especially those who are born addicted to substances. Consider helping them get a more comfortable start in their innocent little lives?

I think many of us moms yearn to have another child at different points of our lives for different reasons. I will be 40 this year and have that "baby bug". There isn't anything I can do about it (I had a hysterectomy when I was 27 for medical reasons) but it is still there. I also got the "bug" when my 3rd youngest daughter started school. I get the "bug" when a friend tells me she is pregnant and when I go to baby showers.

I did complete my family through adoption 5 years ago when I brought my 3 boys home from Russia and I'll bet your already know that adoption is a choice for you as well, so I won't go into that.

Whatever your decision is, you WILL be happy with it :) What sane mom says "well I never should have had that last kid!" and moms that yearn but end up not doing it seem to forget all about it when that first grandchild comes around.

I will say that at this point in my life, I have been raising kids for 22 years - more than 1/2 my life. I love ALL my kids and wouldn't change anything for the world. However, I am starting to count down the days until that last one leaves the nest (9 more years). You say your husband is a great guy? There wouldn't be anything wrong with getting that chance to spend some really great time together before you are blessed with a grandchild :)

Good luck no matter what you decide.

Don't take this the wrong way, but just because you CAN get a baby, doesn't been you should! I work with infants/toddlers who were conceived through unnatural means and every one of them has issues. Children born from pills, hormones, invitro are at HIGH risk of autism, Sensory Processing Disorder and other learning disabilities. If you are over 40, start enjoying your own life and maybe get involved as a nanny or caregiver to someone else's child. It can be truly fullfilling. A great book to read on this is What Babies and Children Really Need by Sally Goddard Blythe. She is the leading authority on neurodevelopmental delays and where they come from.

I read your message over and over again and thought to myself. I know that God can do miracles and heal you so you can have another baby and you also said you were willing to go the extra mile (which is an expensive mile) to have another, but if you are in this place, why not adopt. You can spend that money on the process of adopting instead of the treatments to have one of your own. You can be a blessing to a child out there. My Pastor and his wife never had children of there own, so they adopted two boys. They are grown now and are active in the church. There are so many children from babies to teens that need a home, why spend that money forcing yourself to have one.

I am 45. I had a surprise #3 in January.

My other 2 are ONLy 1 and 6! I am tired but happy.

I say go for it.

p.s. My #2 was adopted. Shoot me a message if you want to talk about that possibility.

You obviously have love to give. I say go for it. Or look into adoption - so many babies need a loving mommy!

We live one life - a brief flash in the history of time. This is not a dress rehearsal, so make sure you have an amazing time on the stage!

Best of luck!

Whatever you decide, don't forget to weight the health risks for you and baby. I

When my son turned 16 years old, I had my daughter (who is now two). It's quite interesting having a teenager and a toddler. Probably the two hardest ages at the same time...but I wouldn't trade it for the world. It sounds to me like you really want another baby and if that's the case I think you should go for it especially if your husband is supportive of the idea. You will never regret having another baby but you may regret not making every effort to make it happen. There are always risks but in my opinion 40 is still very young! I am a firm believer in following your heart. You have enough mommy left for one more! Good luck to you!

Personnaly, I don't think anyone is crazy for wanting to love another child. I'm 33 and expecting my 5th... my sister is 36 & trying for her 6th (her hubby is 57 and thrilled to be trying for another little love).

My mom went through this also around 38 (after we lost my brother), but was unable to have anymore - she has her tubes tide after her 4th. But she also became a grandma at 40 & got some of the benifits of the babies w/out going through the pregnancy & labor part of all of it... eventhough she was in the delivery room w/ both my sister & I 5 weeks later.

I have told my 15 yr old that I'm not ready to be a grandma anytime soon cause I'm not done having babies... that was last fall, before I found out I was expecting. I do feel kinda weird expecting my 5th when most of the people I graduated with are just now getting married & trying to start their families... some of them are getting married soon & want to wait a few more years before they have any kids, with will put them around 35+ before they have their first kid.

Yes, the older you are the harder it is to get pregnant & it can be harder on you, but in my opinion a baby is worth it!! I love all my kids (15, 6, 4 1/2 & 2 1/2) and am thrilled to be having another one in July... not sure if I'm done or not - time will tell. I do like having about 2 or so years between them & I always thing even #'s is the way to go... so that being said, I might be looking at having #6 in a few years - which would put me around 35 or so.

Talk to your family - see how they feel & go from there... my dad was actually a senior in high school when his baby brother was born... and my dad became a dad w/ my sister about 15 mo later. He & his brother are great friends even now... and my unlce was a huge suprise to my grandparents, but you know what they loved him till the day they died & they wouldn't have change him being in their lives for anything.

Also, my baby sister is only 18 mo. older when my daughter was born... my dad was 41 when he had her. So, it does happen.

Good luck!!

Follow your heart. It is your life and you and your husband's decision, not your children's, your family's or anyone else for that matter. What is so wrong with having a baby past 40? You will be a better mother because you have more life experience, more income, and more stability. My mom had three in her 20's, two in her 30's and 1 in her 40's and she always says that she was a wiser mom with her last 3 and they have kept her young. I was number 5 and I have never minded that my mom wasn't as young as some of my friend's moms or the fact that I have siblings much older than me. It just makes my family more interesting!! I say go for it, you'll never regret having another baby or trying for one!! Good luck!!

Hello
well, if you feel that you want one, I would try.. However, as your doctor stated, it can be a bit tougher when in yours 40s, but don't let that scare you because in fact many women have done it. My advice though, start now..... 40 to me still is young enough to have a baby and from all that I read, many have.. There is a site my friend belongs to called Fertilityover40... many women on there who are trying to conceive and have. It's a site run by a woman who got pregnant with her own eggs when she was 46... from there on, she began to research different methods. You will find anything from IVF to others who are trying naturally..
best of luck whatever you decide.

Hi A. - I just love babies too. I am 48 and dream of having 1 more. I have 3 now ages 10,11.5 and 13. Like you, I prayed for years and years for God to bless us with a child. We even tried to push Him along by doing the whole IVF thing. No baby. In 1999 My Father passed away and by November of that year I had 3 babies. We adopted. 3 siblings through our State DFCS. Didn't cost us anything financially. Just time. They are my life. My oldest resembles me, My middle resembles my (ex) husband and my son is a mix of both - it was truely spooky. I have raised them by myself for the past 7 years and doing fine. Please think about adoption and ask God for guidance on that. Good luck.

M. F

I am in similar boat. Have been TTC for years and finally went to doctor. I don't think it would have happened without seeing somebody and we still don't know if it will work, but I feel hopeful. See somebody or you may feel like I do, that I have waited to long.

Not nuts. Just hormonal. You're body knows it's about to lose it's chance, so it's making you really, really want one. You'll have to decide whether it's just your hormones talking or if you actually agree with them. I expect you've already given this a good deal of thought?

You know that your baby will be at a higher risk of complications from both your age and from fertility treatments, right? You have a higher risk of a down syndrome baby because of your age and a higher risk of a autistic one with fertility treatments. There are other risks as well, but those are the two that come to my mind. Not that that's going to happen, but you need to understand the risks and think about it.

What does your husband think of this? After all, it's not just you who'll be responsible for this new life.

If you or your husband are infertile now, perhaps you could adopt? The foster care system has many children in need of forever homes and, especially since you have older kids already, this may be a better option for your family.

Its a natural feeling to have... and you now have a wonderful husband. So your feelings are what many women would feel, to want a baby.
Does your Husband want a baby too??? It is a joint effort.

You are not "old." Many women nowadays have babies that age or older.
When I had my 2nd child, I was a tad older than you. I got pregnant naturally and had a normal healthy pregnancy and my son was born healthy.

It really depends on you and your Husband... and not discounting your feelings... but having a baby is really not about gender. It is about having a child... whatever that may be gender wise.

I have a friend, that was 46 when she had her 2nd child A son. It was planned and they did it via in-vitro. They really wanted a 2nd child. It was a normal healthy pregnancy for her and her son was born healthy. Her kids are 3 years apart. So she was over 40 when she conceived and had both her kids. Both was conceived via IVF.

If it is meant to be, and your Husband has the same feelings... then be happy.

All the best,
Susan

I had my kids when I was 39 and 42. (they are now 9 & 12). I got pregnant without fertility treatments (I have a family hx of ovarian cancer and fertility tx would have increased my risk) -- and had two normal-- in fact beautiful and brilliant-- kids. I know I was really fortunate. When I meet mom's with teens and toddlers I acknowledge that if I had started younger,] I would likely be in the same boat as them. If I already had kids I would carefully consider the risks involved with fertility treatments, etc. If your hus and kids are on board, and you deem it safe for you -- then go for it. The book TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR FERTILITY is worth reading if you decide to pursue it naturally. I hear prayer is very useful too.

I have two teens and a 6 year old (not planned). One thing to bear in mind is that this child will be like an only child. My older two played together when they were little, and the little guy is lonely. Had I been younger and had an easier pregnancy I probably would have had one more to keep him company. I feel bad for him that he misses out on the playmate sibling thing. We've ended up getting a shelter pup to keep him company since there's only so much adult play time he wants, and I really can't be doing playdates all the time either.
When the older two are independant (to a certain extent) you'll be going back to a toddler that you can't let out of your sight, a small person who needs everything done for them, and of course, a child that you can't leave by themselves to run to the store. (And teenagers don't always take kindly to being left in charge.) Of course, there's lots of kisses and joy along the way but it isn't easy either for the parents, the siblings or the child.

I am 42 having my first. If you want to try for another I would recommend acupuncture. I didn't get married till I was 40 and lost the first one and had trouble getting pregnant and within a month of acupuncture I was pregnant and I am due on May 14. A lot of people think it hurts and there is a lot of needles but I can tell you that it doesn't hurt (it's actually relaxing and not a lot of needles are used.) It has a higher successs rate that IVF and you can do acupuncture along with IVF if you choose to go that path. The fertility Dr here was rude to us so I decided to try a different route. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Do it! It may be a bit tougher not being as young as you were with your sons...but it will be worth every moment :). I wish you the best! Remember God is in control and he will be with you every step of the way.

Listen you have to do what you feel is best. May I suggest if you're willing to go the extra mile you clean out your body first? Many are able to become pregnant later by removing certain foods from their diet:
eggs (eating eggs from another species messes with your eggs)
dairy, clogs the pipes
sugar weakens the immune system
processed foods-just garbage
gluten recent studies show that lots are able to get pregnant when gluten removed
alcohol (even that one glass)
caffeine

instead eat LOTS of fresh whole grains (I'm talking brown rice, quinoa, etc not whole grain breads or pastas)
eat lots of fresh veggies, all colors, all types
fresh local in season fruits
beans, legumes, all that stuff
Also, take some maca powder, read up on the great things it does.

Talk to your husband, think of the pros and cons long term and if you want, go for it. Women had their children younger before because they thought they had to. Now women have them when THEY want. You have grown, you have matured, you know what you want your life to be life, you will raise a child differently, smarter.
Peace

I will be 39 this year and want to have another child. My first is only 9 months though. It took me a long time to meet my wonderful husband, which is why I was able to get pregnant in the first place. Meaning that it was meant to be because I had prayed for so many years to find a wonderful man who would make a great husband and even greater Father to my kids. I have a step son who is 10 and now a little one of my own. For her sake I would like to give her a sibling. Her stepbrother is so many years ahead of her and because he's only half her brother that brings other issues up for a different day. I am going to try and have another but not without making sure WE ALL are ready. I know I can't wait too long because of my age, but I will give it a full year and even wait until the end of the year to make sure I have my leave saved up. I have a husband who really wants another child, I have my parents close by who provide daily help since I'm a full time working Mom. So, my decision is based on my cirmcumstances. I am going to try, but I am not going to try any intervention if it doesn't happen. I believe that if God wants it to happen and it's meant to be it'll happen. In the meantime, I'm getting myself prepared, I'm going overboard crazy, but I'm getting my body back into shape, losing the weight I gained and excercising regularly, and eating healthy. It enables me to take the best care of my family because I feel good about myself, plus my body will be more receptive to pregnancy. So, I believe that you have to weight all the pros and cons, you have to do what's right in your heart, and pray for guidance in your decision. Good Luck.

Do you really want to have another teenager when you're close to 60? I would say don't do it and just wait. You'll have grandkids in another 5-10 years that will keep you busy and happy.
Sounds like you've got a great family, enjoy them, thank God for them and be happy with where you are :)

At around age 38 is when hubby and I had a long talk about whether or not we wanted to have another child. We started thinking of reasons yes and no, we talked about what each of us felt in our hearts and for us the anwer was NO, and hubby had a vascetamy. We never looked back.

I think you and hubby should do the same, and then decide what the answer is for you (a married couple).

The few friends that I know who went the extra mile... It cost them a total of $25,000-$30,000 (for about 1 years worth of fertility injections, not IVF). One aspect for you and your husband to consider is how far do you want to go... Just do fertility injections? Stop at IVF? If you do IVF, how many eggs would you harvest and what will you do with the remaining fertilized eggs afterward? Would you be want to use viable abandoned IVF eggs instead of your own (I think they are referred to as 'snow babies' or 'embryo adoptions')?

Also, keep in mind that spending all that money doesn't ensure that you will definitely get pregnant. This was a very sour reality pill for one of my friends... :-( She explained that at 39 yo, the lining of her eggs were too hard to conceive and the fertility drugs didn't change that.

So, my advice is that you should determine how far in you are willing to go (and be prepared to stick to that), forecast the cost of fertility treatments and balance that against 1.) your retirement planning and 2.) any pending college expenses on the horizon.

Good luck!

You didn't mention if your husband is on board with another little one?
It is a joint effort as I am sure you know with raising your family. This is a hard issue! I have talked to some people that only want x amount of kids, others want as many as they can physically handel and afford. I have that baby thing too.....I LOVE them and love kids. I am a proud Mama of 4 boys ages 9 years, 5 years, 3-12 years, 11 months.....Totaly diffrent situation than your facing. I say if your in good health and your husband is IN do it!
Think of all the joy and fun it is raising children. I know most would say they keep you young!!! Keep the faith..keep praying for wisdom and peace in it all. Remember Psalm 119 I knit you in your mothers womb! God is in control all works for his good! I'll be praying for you.

You should do what you and your husband want to do. If you're healthy and able to have children then go for it. Some of the blogs said they felt old at forty. I believe that forty is young, young, young. Look at all the people that have kids young and can't handle it and pregnant is pregnant. There are lot of young pregnant women that face the same issues as older women do. Most important is to have a great doctor. My doctor, Dr. Jay Cohen has a lot of older women in his practice and l love that and feel very taken care of in his practice.

He did not deliver my first but he delivered my daughter and I can't thank him and his practice enough. My daughter had a wonderful delivery.

Having children is a blessing.

I have an 19 year old daughter and now a 1 year old son. I love every minute of being a new mommy again to my toddler. I am 36 years old now and would not have even considered another child if my husband had children of his own (my 2nd marriage). I would not have another child though, it is hard work and you want to be around for them as long as you can. I agree with the other mommas that you should wait for grandchildren but for now volunteer at your church nursery and see if the yearning is still there after you've had several cryer's and pooper's for 2 hours : )

I say go for it, the longing for another baby won't go away in my opinion; life is too short and if you and your husband are stable, loving, caring people I don't see how you couldn't raise another happy, healthy little boy/girl. I'm still longing for that third baby but after my second baby (she is 1 year old now) my husband and I had agreed it would be my last. I was this close to having my tubes tied but for some reason or another it got put off for a while, well thank God because I am not sure I'm done. I fact I would love to start trying again, I just have to get hubby on board and I don't think that will happen for many years...
take advantage of the fact that your hubby is on board with it! to me that's the hardest part,
my best wishes to you!

I say go for it. My mom had my sister at 36. I was about to be 12 and my brother was 14. I am now 25 and my sister will be 13 on may 13th. If you want another baby...do what you have to do to acheive it! whether it be going that extra mile with the treatments or adopting!

Good Luck!

If you have a strong foundation in God then you must know that all things happen in God's perfect timing. It's not about "what you suppose", it is always the will of God that things happen and if it is God's will for you to have that baby, then you will have one. How much should you help to make this happen? Well, think about Abraham and Sarah in the Old Testament. They wanted a child, God promised them a child but they were impatient so they took matters into their own hands, much like you are seeking wisdom for, but they went about getting that much desired child in a way that did not glorify God. Keep praying, praying without ceasing but know in your heart that God answers prayers in one of 3 ways: Yes, No, or not now. God sees the big picture of your life and He will answer your prayer, though it may not be what you want to hear or even desire, but He does answer prayers...in His perfect timing. Surrender this situation to God and don't allow the peace, love, and joy escape you over this.

With my 2nd child, I wanted another baby so badly. We did all the "right" things...yet pregnancy did not result. I had even taken ovulation predictor tests to ensure that we were timing our "together-ness" perfectly. Yes, despite my efforts, I still was not pregnant. I made an appointment to see my OB just to make sure there were no physical things within my body to hinder pregnancy. I got a clean bill of health. One morning I woke up bleeding (my period had started) and I was devastated. Another month gone and I wasn't pregnant. It was then that I surrendered my control to the Lord. I wept as I prayed and told God that I would stop doing all these things to ensure pregnancy. I would allow His will to be done. Guess what??? That same month that I started my period, when I thought I couldn't possibly be pregnant, I was indeed with child! God's timing is perfect! Give up the control that you must know you don't have anyway and let God do His mighty work in your life.