Am I Being Too Picky About This?

I think if it really bothers you that much, speak up, but think of it this way: do your kids have nightmares after? You only have this girl come once in a while, so is that movie every few months really such a halt to their development? Could you just look for another sitter? And instead of saying "don't bring movies", you could make a simple request, like "could you do ____ with my kids tonight? I got this cool ____ and I'd like for them to try it". Then if it doesn't go well, she has her back-up so she's still comfortable too.

It's wonderful you've found a babysitter that your kids really like. If she won't take the "hint" about the movies, then you need to be more direct about what you want.

If you say it matter of factly, reassuringly, and without judgment about the past, then she won't be offended.

Here's a little role playing example:

mom: "_____, my kids just love you. Did you know they wake up asking for you after you've been here. It's not everyday a mom feels so good about her choice of sitters as I do you."

Then, when it's time to give instructions for the night -

mom: "you know, I really appreciate how you try to think ahead and bring something fun for the boys to do while you're here. I havent said anything before but I'm just not a big fan of Scooby Doo. I think the boys are still too young for the scary stuff. Would you mind if we tried something different than movies tonight?"

babysitter: "gosh, I'm so sorry, I had no idea!"

mom: "oh, no worries - you know how much we all love you. Here, I didnt want to leave you stranded for things to do tonight, so I put together a "Fun Bag". There's some puzzles, crafts and games in there and a snack recipe you all can make together. It's a beautiful evening, would you mind walking the boys to the park before dinner?"

I hope that helps you understand that a change like this doesnt require confrontation. If you are reassuring and model what you want, then that should be enough.

Good luck!

When it comes to people interacting with your kids you need to find a a way to become as confrontational as necessary. If you don't like her movie selection, tell her. If you don't want her watching TV with the kids at all, tell her. The best thing you can do to protect your kids is to become the mama bear that no one messes with.

Its a learned skill, but an invaluable one. I grew up learning a bazillion different way to avoid confrontation. After going to a class on how sexual predators operate I made myself become a mama bear. Don't get in between me and my cubs. And don't do something to my cubs that I don't approve of.

Now, as far as being too picky? Yeah, I think you might be. For me, as long as the kids are happy, the babysitter isn't frazzled and the house is still standing she can do pretty much anything with them, including watching some TV, but I pick the movies. GL.

My four year old loves scooby doo too, I don't think it is scary, very silly maybe but not scary.

I think if you do not want your kids to watch TV while she is there then just tell her "they have had enough TV today, here are some games, projects they are allowed to do", nothing more needs discussed. You made mention of your son waking and calling out for her, are you sure that doesn't upset you? I mean I guess I wasn't clear why you brought that up when your gripe is the TV watching. I mean it isn't something that could very normally make you feel badly. Sorry if I am way off just caught my attention you stating that before your complaint.

I completely agree that she is there to watch your kids, but you are responsible for laying out clear expectations beforehand and if she has been doing this a while for you why are you worrying about it now?

If this is something new or has she always brought movies? Just tell her your house rules on movies, tv time and she should respect that.
I think what is unfair that you are upset about something with a babysitter who has been with you for a long time and haven't given her clearer instructions.

Put out things you would prefer she do with your kids and just tell her no TV for the kids but she is welcome after they are in bed. If she doesn't like it hopefully she will speak up but I think you are being more then reasonable asking her to respect your wishes, it just should have been laid out there before now.

The cartoon Scooby Doos aren't usually that scary to children, the movie ones maybe. Do yor kids have nightmares when tey watch it? Or do they seem to really enjoy it? As far as it being brainless and stupid - Sometimes it is okay to let your children do something brainless and stupid. Just as a sort of way to relax. Kids get stressed to. It doesn't sound like she watches them very often. Personally I would prfer those who watch my kids to let them watch Scooby Doo rather than some of the things I have caught them letting them watch. How much TV d your kids watch? If they don't watch very much it might be okay to allow them some extra time on a rare occasion. Also, try asking her politely why she has them wtch a movie before bed time. Maybe she has a hard time getting them to bed or relaxed enough for bed. My kids are very energetic. As a result it is difficult to calm them down for bed. When I leave someone with them during bed tie, I tell them to put in a movie so that they will be more relaxed and calm for bed. If something like this is the case, then let her know which movies are okay for them to watch. Everybody has a different idea as to what is okay for kids, and at what ages. Do to the energy level of our kids, and the developmental delays of our son we usually use family only. We find that few people can properly handle our chldren. But, even with us setting or guidelines, family often doesn't listen. Have a talk with her. Find out why she does the movie thing. Let her know how you feel about it. Tell her what your rules are for movies. Give her other options. Tell her that if there is something she wants to do with the kids to ask before she comes over so that you can both be prepared. You should be able to have a nice discussion without being confrontational.

Hi S.!

Sounds like you are a terrific mom! My kiddos are the same age as yours.

It's just my opinion (and probably because I don't have a babysitter - we just have to hope that family is available when we need someone), but I don't think it sounds like such a bad idea to let the kids watch a movie with the babysitter. If the kids are happy about it and not complaining, just make it easier for the babysitter so that you can count on her the next time you need her. You could rent or put out movies that you are okay with the kids watching. The next time she babysits you could put out the movies, or a couple of activities and just tell her that "here some things the kids could do".

That way you're "hinting" to what you would like them to do without being confrontational.

Good Luck! And count your blessings that you do have a dependable babysitter that your kids like.

A.

If all other suggestions fail, put away vcr/dvd or remotes. :)

She might be lazy, might just want to talk on the phone, might not know what to do with the kids! Try other suggestions first but I think putting remotes, or vcr away sends a very clear message.