Almost 8 Month Old Separation Anxiety and Sleeping

Hi C.!
She is at the age where seperation anxiety starts and it could just be that. Also something to think about, if yogurt makes her gassy it's possible she might have a dairy allergy. If she's still nursing that much and you are consuming dairy it could be bothering her. Dairy is mucous producing and can cause fluid to back up into ear canals and that could mean pain when she lies down. Try eliminating dairy for a week or so and see if that helps. When my youngest was that age he stopped being a good sleeper and after discovering he had a dairy allergy at about age 18 months I realized that was what caused him to stop sleeping well. Teething is another thing that can cause sleeplessness. If she's in pain from that a little snuggling probably makes her feel better so she can go back to sleep.

When my youngest was that age he stopped being a good sleeper and after discovering he had a dairy allergy at about age 18 months I realized that was what caused him to stop sleeping well.

My daughter went through the same thing at about that age- it lasted for maybe a month or so. Yes, I kept getting up with her- but I did try letting her cry herself back to sleep sometimes as well- but this didn't work so well for us. She was also pretty clingy during the day. But you know what? At about 10.5 months, she was sleeping better again, regular naps without fussing, and so much more secure during the day- especially about going about her adventures and being picked up by other people. I feel that my being responsive has made her feel quite secure with herself, and that was worth the trouble.

One thing that was VERY helpful was something my mom recommended- giving her a transitional object or "bed buddy" to have in the crib with her. My daughter has a small soft blanket (I know- not really kosher per pediatricians to have in the crib) and a little stuffed bunny without any small, sewn parts that can come off. Whenever I tuck her in, she gets one to grasp in each hand, and she smiles. When she wakes up, she plays with her bunny for a while and babbles! Good luck- regardless, she'll probably be sleeping through again in a few weeks.

1) Babies go through a growth spurt around 9 mos. which would explain the night waking.

2) She could be teething as well which would explain the difficulty with napping/sleeping and the night waking. Try some orajel and tylenol. IS she drooling a lot?

3)It is really common for babies to go through seperation anxiety around 9 mos as well, some start sooner and some later.

4) Has their been any recent changes at home lately? Some times this will affect babies sleep patterns.

I would still be consistent with your routine. It will help for when this passes and things get back to normal. But I have to say as a mom who also breastfed, I too would lie down with my daughter and nurse her and now at 18 mos she still wont go to sleep without me lying next to her... so careful what habits you create.

I would definitely recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution book. It is so comforting and has such gentle methods that you can tailor to fit your lifestyle and philosophies on parenting. I've had two non-sleeping nursers and have used the methods in this book. Follow it to the letter and it will help. The best advice I can offer is to try not to be stressed about it because the baby can sense it. I know what you're going through; Good luck!!

The impression that I get from your post is that you don't want to let her cry, which is a personal choice. The first thing that I would check is whether she might be teething, or maybe has an ear infection. Both can make a baby have trouble sleeping and be clingier. If it is teething, try motrin or tylenol and see if she sleeps better. If its not teething or anything physical, you really have two choices. Commit to letting her cry and try the ferber method is one option. The other is to keep snuggling her and let her sleep in your bed until this phase passes (or until that method of getting her to sleep no longer works for you). Either way, I would make a two week mental commitment to either method and then reassess. I think that she keeps fighting sleep because she's waiting for you to try to sneak out (which, of course, you are). Either knowing that you are going to stay, or knowing that her crying isn't going to make you come back will enable her to "give in" to sleep.

The one thing that I can promise you is that whatever decisions you make now, a) she will sleep again and b) she will be absolutely fine in the long run with whatever choice you make.

Good luck! Try and take a nap!

Oohh C., do I know how you feel. My now 7 month old starting to do the same thing about 2 weeks ago. She would go to bed around 8-9 and sleep til 4-5, have a bottle and go back to bed until 6-7. Not anymore! She wakes up anywhere from 11-1 and eats, 4-5 and eats and IF we are lucky, she will go back to bed for another hour or so, but usually not so lucky. We have a 13 year old and now our 7 month old. Our baby is the last baby we will have and we are much more mature and considerate, if you will, then what we were at 19 and 20. We don't let our little one cry either, it breaks our heart. We just go through the flow with whatever she needs and desires at that time and yeah, we are probably "spoiling" her, but she is worth it! Best of Luck!

Hi C.. I feel your pain. I went through the exact same thing with my youngest when he turned 10 months. I have the book the No cry sleep solution tis a wonderful book. When my son first started having seperation anxiety I would take my night shirt off in the morning and lay it on top of the crib sheet so he would have my smell in the crib with him I also introduced a transitional item to him. You should try to keep your routine relaxing and the same. It worked the best for my son if I took him out of the tub and took him to his room to finish getting him ready for bed so he wouldn't be around any noise or tv. I also coppied a cd from my sister of the ocean and play it all night on repeat because he is a light sleeper. Good luck. Let me know if you need the book Im done with it.

Reassure her by being there. You are doing the right thing. Is it possible to make up for your sleep deprivation with a small nap in the afternoon? This won't last long and if you continue to reassure her, should pass soon enough and probably not return for a long while.

Others' suggestion of a cuddly toy are good, my middle child loved her stuffed teddy when she was young and kept it with her even into her first grade year of school.

But bottom line is and my approach with my kids was that nurturing and cuddling does no harm to the child. It makes them more self assured, secure and self confident. I come from the school of thought that believes that you cannot love a child, especially one prior to one or two years of age too much. They are still developing core identity and knowing they are loved and secure is a large part of developing emotionally healthy. I can also tell you that although you may hate it sometimes now, when the children get older you will have the memories of cuddling then and holding them in the quiet night or singing them to sleep. They are memories to treasure!

Separation anxiety is very normal. Your little one is still really little and, personally, I would just comfort her with nursing and snuggles. She will outgrow it when she is ready. Kids go in and out of phases on a regular basis and she will get beyond this. In my opinion, though, if she needs more mama right now, I would give it to her. Yes, the long nights can be exhausting. My 2 year old just started sleeping through the night 2 months ago. She did this all on her own and there was never a single tear over it. If she woke up at night crying, I always went to her, let her cosleep, nursed, whatever she needed to be comforted. Soon enough, they want to do everything on their own. But when they are little (I am talking the first couple of years), it is impossible to be too dependent on mommy. That is how it is supposed to be. Mommy is where they feel safest.

Okay... I will stop rambling. I know a lot of people will disagree with my philosophy but I do not believe in teaching babies and toddlers to be independent (sleep, potty training, weaning, etc). They become independent when they are ready. My 2 year old just turned 2 and is using the potty alot, dresses and undresses herself, sleeps through the night in her crib, etc. and has done this all on her own terms.