Almost 3 Year Old Says the "F-word"

From reading all the responses so far, I think it is safe to say that most parents are human! I have three kids and have suffered through all the embarassment and am still working on the tow year old. I am a single parent now, so I have to take most of the baby's slip ups as my own. This too shall pass, just ignore the new word and he will soon find something else to get attention. As for the lady who still thinks that washing a childs mouth out with soap, she must be an amazing mother to never had some kind of human slip in fromt of her kids!! Did you know that too much soap can cause diarrhea? I wonder how her kids are!
Good luck, and isn't parenting fun when the words you use get used against you?

You're not the only one! My 3 year old son first dropped the F-bomb in the right context at his Grammy's kitchen table. TWICE!! We just keep telling him that is a naughty word and don't over-react when he says it. We just tell him "No, we say 'rats' or 'phooey'." It's gradually been getting better once the newness of the word wears off, and now my son reminds me what words we use!

Consistency. Anytime he says that just calmly say, "No honey, Banannas (or another word)." Not making a big deal makes the word less appealing. Getting really upset makes the word seems like a forbidden fruit. He is just trying the boundries. Even negative attention can be good attention to a 3 year old. You are right about the soap thing. The soap thing only works on older kids anyway. Hope this helps! :)

We had the same problem with our daughter. We sat her down and talked to her about how it is not a nice word and no one want s to hear a little girl talk that way. we told her that we had made a big mistake in using that word (dammit) then we askd her to think of a word she could use instead. She was two at the time and she said "Oh man" so we all started to use "Oh man" We had the same problem again wih my son amazingly enough the same word:) and had the same talk. I would not punish as he is only repeating you and probably thinks it's okay. The next couple of time my daughter said it we just reminded her and that was the end of it. I think if you make a big deal out of it then they just repeat for attention, so we were careful to just give her reminders. Now she is the one giving us reminders. I amke it sound like we cuss all the time, which we don't. they always seem to slip out when a child is in hearing range:) Good luck

I just want to add my 2 cents in also! I see you have a lot of responses. I was trying to read them all to see if mine was in there or not but there are just to many for me to read right now.

My daugher occasionaly says "Sh--" like when she drops something or something happens that she doesn't expect to happen. SHe doesn't do it often.

Anyway, when she says these types of words I just say, "Honey, Thats not a nice word, lets use nice words" she says ok, and we move on.

The best advice I really have is, don't react to it, if you freak out or laugh, basically give it any attention at all, it encourages it.

Just take a breath, its not the end of the world, and it will pass. :)

good luck

we've run into this as i would say most families have. our two year old likes to run around and say dammit. anyways, what i say to our children when they decide to use a word like this is that it is a word for adults to say. i felt like telling them that i was naughty for saying it was not a great thing because it isn't always good for mom and dad to be naughty. i sometimes tell them that adults (or big people) don't like when kids say "adult" words.
hope this helps.

Hi M.!

I have two older sons (11 and 8) who I had similar challenges with when they were little. I too explained to them that it was wrong of me to say the word, and that it is not okay for them to say it either. However, they thought it was really fun to say the bad word anyway. When they did, I would repeat the conversation about why the word should not be said and they would be punished for it. Although inititally picking up the word and repeating it was not thier fault, after having been told not to say it, they needed to understand that they had done something wrong.

Hi M.,the next time your son says the F word,tell him that he said it wrong.Tell him that Mommy & Daddy are saying "Fudge".Then say fudge from time to time,so he slowly forgets the real F word.Then buy a pack of the fudge candy and tell him that it's fudge and when you give him a small piece to eat,say something like "yum,yum fudge".Then he'll say that word more often & think about the candy instead of something else.Good Luck!

Hello!

We have not been there (yet...), but a friend ended up instituting a "cuss jar". Every time someone dropped an unacceptable word, they had to pay $1. Since the contents of the jar became the child's pocket money, he was very good very quicky at policing the adults and not to cut into his own funds. I think he was somewhat older that your child, so this may not work yet. I think I would go with Megan's advice for now and not make a big deal of it, but remind everyone to use alternatives when needed.

Good luck :)

D.

When my son was 2 he had a word he liked to use every once in a while(my fault) so I of course just stopped using it myself and told him that it was a bad word and mommy shouldn't have been saying it and that we say dang it instead it took more then once of me saying it but he doesn't use it at all anymore and the funniest part is he yells at anyone else if they do use it.

Ha Ha well this happends. My 2 year old says S**t. when he asks for something and I say no He says it. so right now im just workin on alternative words like Uh-oh, darn it etc. and i tell him kinda mad "Don't say that"! Say Uh-oh. so so far today he said it once and i give him a mean look and he says uh-oh right after. My husband And I are tryin really hard to not say those words so as long as they constantly don't hear them it will be easy to break off that habit. Good luck.

If you get any awesome advice, let me know!!! With us, he walked in while we were watching a movie, and we were laughing at the scene, leading him to believe it was the word that was so funny. He is the same way, where he uses it perfectly. While we're still battling THAT word, something that helped with one other word that was a previous struggle was giving him alternatives. "You can say ______ or _______, but what you said isn't nice, and it was very naughty of mommy to say it." Don't know if that's any help, but it worked for us. Of course, the alternatives were silly non-swear words, but it gave him options. There have been a couple times where he has corrected US now, "Mommy, that's not nice. You can say ______ but don't say that."

Good luck!

My now 3yo did that at about 2 1/2. He also picked up the oh sh**. Both of which were only said once in front of him. For the future, when you accidentally drop a curse word, shout something obscure like peanut butter. It'll throw him off and he'll most likely remember the peanut butter and not the swear word. My mom always used to say fudgesicles when she wanted to swear and then kept a box in the house so if we questioned why she said it she would say that she wanted one or something like that. My son also like the taste of soap! We explained to him that it was a bad word that only people as big as daddy were allowed to say. That works for him with a lot of things. Then if he said it again we tried ignoring it but there were times he would go around saying, after saying it several times we would remind him of the previous discussion and that if he continued to use it he would go to timeout. Maybe if these don't work try telling him he is only allowed to say it in his room, that way it doesn't seem as taboo and loses its appeal. It'll pass if you don't make a huge deal out of it, it only lasted a couple weeks here.

Hi M.,
Our 4 1/2 year old son has done that to us several times. We don't make a big deal and offer him an alternative word. Unfortunately, cuss words slip out and it seems like it's always at the wrong time (when little ears are around). We make sure that he doesn't feel like he's in trouble because with a baby around he gets in these moods where negative attention is better than no attention. We also tell him that they aren't nice words and shouldn't be said, but stress to him that he's not in trouble for using them. He's 4 and curious so I truly believe that since we don't make a big deal out of it, he just forgets and moves on.

I had the same problem with my then 2 1/2 year old son. When I realized what had happened, I definitely did not laugh. Children learn more by example than anything else. At least with my son, I made a sad face and told him that that was a very ugly word to hear from such a cute little mouth. I explained that some times big people say it but that it's really not good because it sounds dirty, especially on little children. From then on I cleaned my vocabulary and he did the same. Now he won't even say "Darn". And of course I added some words that we can use if something happens, like "shoot", "darn", "silly", etc. Now at 8, he comes up with the silliest expressions, like he'd say "Oh, fidgety mouse!" when he gets frustrated.

Have you ever watched Battlestar Gallatica? It is a sci-fi series, with a Star Trek like theme. Anyways, they use the word F R A K. I know it is not much better, but you might improvise with similar words like F L A C K, F R A T, F R A P etc.
F U D G E?

Anyway...If all else fails use a piece of garlic on his lips and tell him that word is a "stinky" word like the garlic smell.

Blessings,
Cath

I can totally understand. My son said the "F" word at two. When My son said it, I did just ignore it and he stopped.( he is now 13). Now my daughter is two, and granted, I should have learned the first time, but ignoring her didn't work. I started using alternative things like oh no, and fooey. she likes that one. She also likes whoopsy. So try that route and good luck.

No one should judge anyone, we are not perfect. As long as we learn from our mistakes and move on, we will be fine.
A. M

I read that if you cuss the child will learn it and learn it right. But the notice it because it is a over emphasized word out of all the words used they are more likely to focus on it more. and so suggestions were to emphasize funny words. next time you drop something shout, "crackers" or something and the next time pick another word and soon he will either say those words or he will stop them altogether. Also try to be MORE aware of what you two say in front of him and if you do slip again, say another word just as loud to counteract the slip. I never cuss in front of my son, when we get the urge to say a bad word I have taught myself to say "son of a gun", or I mute(mouth) the word like on t.v. My son started saying it at 2 cause of his daycare (which he was removed from) Within a few days of being removed from the source he forgot all about it. Hope this helps.

Hi M.,

We too have gotten the joy of seeing our son follow our lead and duplicate saying that word.
We do not give it much attention and now the only time we hear him say it is when someone is really angry, and he responds with that - knowing the reason for that word means "anger".

I say - best thing, watch your language ;-), don't get too angry, and if it does slip out, don't give it much attention. Thank goodness that worked for us.

Ignore it. Now that he knows it gets a reaction he will continue to say it. If he gets no reaction then will likely stop.

Good luck.

Hi M.,
You're not alone. My husband burnt his hand a few weekends ago making breafast and dropped the F-bomb. Now, my 19mo old has occasionally used it and I'm not sure how to stop it either. At first I ignored it but then finally told her it's not nice and it seems to be working. Please let me know what advice you get because we need it too. Thanks.

M.,

I really feel where you are coming from. My son who is almost 3 actually did that tonight. We were at a friends house - and came home and he said "you F-ing F-ers". We don't go around the house talking like that - so I was very very upset. He was playing with a little boy that is almost 5 and I'm assuming he heard it from him. In my opinion it is unacceptable. I explained to him that we don't speak that way and that's not nice. My son has repeated other words previously that aren't pleasant either, but tonight was horrible. I don't think that could get any worse. I would just calmly explain that it's not nice to talk that way and don't draw too much attention. I think if you bring too much attention to it - he might do it more because he's getting rise. Good luck!

L.

A friend of mine has recently gone through this. Basically when the child says the f-word, they do not respond in any way at all. Soon the child figures out that the word has no special power to get him attention and abandons the word. Alternately, you could correct the child to say "duck" instead. Good luck!

M.,
We had the same problem with the "sh--" word with our daughter. First of all don't overreact because if you do they'll just say it more to get a reaction out of you. Be very neutral in your tone of voice and say something like "We don't like to hear that word, you can say "snap" instead if you're upset." That way you're not only letting them know what you don't want to hear, but you're also giving them something they can say that's okay with you.
My daughter was barely 2 when she said it so she really didn't understand time-out yet, but with your 3-year old a time out for saying it, once you think he has the concept of using the replacement word instead, may help to drive the point home that it's a serious issue.

Hope this helps,
M.
Married, Mother of one 6 year old daughter

I feel your pain! My husband and I try not to use "bad words" too, but they do slip out. We also have family members that use them too often. All of my kids have tried them out. I just tell them they are grown-up words that kids can't use. Like driving a car or going to work, kids can't do everything grown-ups do... My kids would tell a stanger that it is a bad word and to not talk that way. By telling them it is for grown-ups I have made it ok for others but still explaining that kids can't use them. But we also tell them that we will try harder to not use them too. If they slip up again (or test the rules) I firmly remind them and drop it. The more attention you give the more he will try. You can also give him words he can use "Oh man!" "Fiddle" The rules will be reinforced in school, church, etc. They will get over it if you are consistant.

Good luck!

Last year we were with the kids at a Diamondbacks game. There was a man in a lizard suit as one of the promos. my son(now 4) clearly said "look at the size of that F***ing lizard" I was shocked and honestly I couldn't stop laughing but I tried to hide that from him. He didn't realize he said a bad word.
Later we figured out that he was getting bad words from the older kids at the neighborhood park.
It lasted a few weks. We verbally corrected him a few times when he didn't realize what he was doing but then when he acted like he knew what was going on we took more drastic measures. Ivory soap tasts nasty but fortunatly my son doesn't like the tast of soap. or he got a small pop in the mouth. nothing hard just enough to scare him. I only had to do it twice. He has stopped since then.

Someone probably already put this out there, but here it is anyway.

My daughter experimented with the S word. I swear, not often, but it happens. I am an adult, I am allowed to swear. My daughter is a child and she is not. I don't agree when parents tell their children that it is a "bad" word and mommy shouldn't have said it. I teach my children that there are things adults can do that children can't...drink alcohol, drive a car,etc. Swearing is one of these things. When my daughter said the "S Word" I informed her that only grown ups could use that word and that if she said it again there would be discipline. I think she's said it 3 times ever and I've never had a problem with it again.

I haven't had any trouble with bad words coming from my children. If I did, I would wash their mouth out with soap the old fashion way!

I admire and appericate all the suggestions and comments, I have a 3 year old that is so smart and I'm going through him picking up words and wanting to do act and do things that he see other's do. And just like any other parent, that is concern and what their child taught differently. I'm reading related situation's and I thank you, and this is just the begining of different trails and opstacles with my 3 year superstar:-)

My advice would be to try and conciously use another word whenever your son is around; like oops or something. Drop something on purpose a few times. After he sees you using that word instead, hopefully he'll forget the other and start using the new one.
Good luck!

I have a two year old daughter who tends to pick up all the wrong words from older cousins or school mates that she use to spend time with. I've heard her with the "F-word" and just told her that it is a bad word. She didn't listen the first few times but she eventually got it. I never punished her for that but I would not smile when she says those words so she would know that mommy wasn't pleased.