Almost 1Yo Son Crying Before Naps & Bedtime

Hi Shellie,

I have a one year old boy that is doing the same thing. He will throw his head back, scream, and start crying as I walk him up the stairs to his crib. For me, I think my son is doing it out of frustration. I think he wants to be independent. He wants to continue to play with his toys or with me. I have viewed this as him communicating to me that he doesn't want to do what I am telling him he needs to do. Unfortunately, since they can't tell us.. we have to guess. My boy also is extremely happy, smiley, good-natured, and rarely has ever fussed. But, when he turned one things changed a little. He still is SO well behaved with the exception of naptime/bedtime. I have done both ways: let him cry and gone in there to rock him. I have to tell you that I no longer go in there now unless he is hysterical. And mainly I will only go in there to make sure he is not hurt. I found that it only got worse once he saw me because then it reminded him that he wanted to play with me. Plus, I felt like it was such a tease to him. Here comes Mom to get me and then I walk out the door. My advice would be to just it go. Our babies are a lot smarter than we think. They know what works and what doesn't. If you go in there to comfort him, change his diaper, etc. then he ends up getting his way. For a week just try to let him cry it out. It won't hurt him. At first, he may cry for a good 20+ minutes but it will get better. Two other things: I moved up a diaper size which helped as well. And I also increased the food at his meals.
Hope this helps.

Hi Shellie,

This is such a tough one. My son went through a very similar pattern off and on from around 10 months to 14 months. What we did was this: If the crying was that of "I'm lonely, come in here mommy/daddy" we would let him cry it out. If it escalated into hysteria, one of us would go in to comfort him. It was really hard for me, but my DH kept telling me, he's okay. One thing I always reminded myself of was this: We decided to have a child, and our one and only responsibility in this world is to see to his needs, and comfort him. I know that sounds altruistic, but it helped me. If your little guy needs you, I say give him what he needs. He's still so young, and I think as he gets older you will be able to change the pattern without much trouble when he understands the world a little better. Good luck.

My daughter had the same trouble so she got a book (I can't remember the name) But here is what it said.
1. Start a regular schedule before you put him down for the night or nap (eg bath, storybook put in bed.)
2. Sit a little close to the bed until they fall asleep
3. The next time move a little farther away from his criib/bed.
4. Next time move yet again farther from the crib.

Keep doing this until you are out the door. It took my daughter 1 week to get him to go to sleep.

As far as the poop waking him up. If he poops regularly around a certain time, wait until he does and then put him to sleep. It worked like a charm with my Grandson, I hope it works for your darling baby!

A Little about me,
I am a WAHG(work at home Grandma)Nonnie is my name that my grandbabies use.

I started my own home business so that I could be home and watch my grandchildre grow, be able to go to their sports games, recitals etc. But also to be able to help my kids out every now and then when they need me to babysit.
I don't babysit, I have playtime with my precious grandchildren - all 7 of them! I have 4 grown children too. God is good! Life is unbelievable! My Grandchildrens' ages are 11,8,6, almost 5, 2, and 2 more at 15mos. I am Blessed!

I'm thinking he's either having separation anxiety or plain ol' doesn't want to go to bed. Does he seem more scared or more angry? If he just doesn't want to go to bed, he is probably having a fit and you may just have ot let him cry it out. If it's separation anxiety, he will eventually get over it as well, but will need lots of reassurances from you every time you put him down that you will see him again after he naps. This one will probably have lots of view points on opposite sides, and you have to do what feels right to you. I'm of the school of thought that you don't want to set up habits that are hard to break later, like rocking him to sleep. You know he's ok, and if you keep reassuring him every time it's time to sleep, he WILL get over it (and won't grow up scarred or insecure from it!) He will learn that you do come back, and that everthing is ok. The other side of the coin is that you do everything to make him feel calm right now, which would probably mean something like rocking him to sleep or pacifying him in some way. But eventually you have to break that pattern. Do what feels right to you. Whatever you pick, someone will probably disagree with you and tell you why. There are pluses and minuses on both sides, but I do know this. People have done both approaches for years, and I've never been able to tell which method a parent opted for a couple of years later! In other words, neither one will harm your child permanently! It's a tough phase to deal with, but it will pass. Again, do whichever thing you are most comfortable with. Good luck!