I have the SAME problem! I have FINALLY found a truly amazing product at a Milwaukee area health-food store called the Good Harvest Market in Pewaukee, WI. It is a home hair dye that comes in all the standard tints you can find in a professional salon and it works extremely well. The brand name is "Tints of Nature" and it comes in either a permanent or semi-permanent color. Plus, it is completely free of ammonia, resorcinol, and paraben. I do not know which ingredient I was having an allergic reaction to, but I was reacting to ALL commercial tints and most home products as well until I tried this stuff! PLUS, there is NO ammonia smell! It smells WONDERFUL! So, my family doesn't feel like they want to leave the house when I dye my hair:-). I don't know if the store listed above is close to you, but, if not, you may be able to get ordering information from them and see if a more local store may be willing to order it for you.
Good luck!