All She Does Is Cries

Most likely it is SPD...Sensory Processing Disorder also known as Sensory Integration Dysfunction. She is not able to self regulate. Pick up a few books that will explain everything. Raising a Sensory Smart Child, Sensational Kids, The OUt of Sync Child, The Sensory Sensitive Child. Also put her on probiotics everyday, get her into OT, stop any vaccinations, and cut all toxins from her life. You may want to put her on gluten free/casein free diet as well. These kids have huge allergies. She will not grow out of this without intervention. Good luck and let me know if you have any questions.

Does she cry all day at daycare? If she doesn't, then she's doing it just for you. Regardless of why, I say hold her as much as you can. She's only little once.

I would examine her foods and see if there may be something you should eliminate in her diet. Dairy can often cause digestive issues, colic symptoms, intensified separation anxiety (because she's not feeling right), and all sorts of other behavioral/physical symptoms. It's something worth trying....

I have 2 children...boy 10 and girl 8. My daughter was just like this. Here's what I believe....high need children are super intelligent and have heightened emotions. They do not understand that you are coming back and they love the wonderful feeling of having you near. They need their mom to be there as much as possible. If you work, sleep with your daughter. When she cries, pick her up. If you need your hands free, get a baby back pack like a Kelty. Sing to her. Leave your clothing with her when you're gone or anything with your scent. Never let her cry it out. As she gets older, she will grow out of the separation anxiety. But, she will always need you and have strong emotions. Be sensitive to this. Even when she gets angry and yells at you or has strong reactions, try to soothe her and teach her how to calm herself....I'm still working with my 8 almost 9 year old on this. It is a long process but the rewards are tremendous. Two books I can recommend are: The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears (this is for the younger years) I am reading one now that has really helped me called Living with Intensity and I don't have the author just now. This book explains the needs of highly intelligent individuals and will help you cherish that your daughter is a "high need" individual. These are only starting points. It's a very challenging road but it is very wonderful to be lucky enough to have such a sensitive child. You don't want to squash this in her but to guide her as to how to handle it and channel it. You'll see....it's a blessing. Good luck. T.

Take her to a pediatrician for a check up. My daughter cried too when she was a baby until the Pediatrician figured out she had acid reflux. It was the acid creeping up from her throat causing pain/burning. When a child is in pain, her tolerance for other things (separation anxiety, etc..) is decreased.

Good luck!
R..

i had a daugter like that.she did not want to be alone.but she finally did outgrow it.she is no longer with me.was killed in a auto accident.i miss her so much was such a lovely person.we need to be thankful for what we have and appreciate life.if you feel it necessary take her to a dr and see what he comes up with.sounds like insecurety.good luck and blessings. C.

My 4th son cried for his first month. I remember how frustrated I was. Feeling like I couldn't help him and his crying was driving me crazy. Now I know I could of checked him for Wheat/gluten sensitivities or dairy.I have learned that those issues can be connected to colic and cause gut inflammation. Now I use a really good probiotic. I wonder if your daughter may not feel but feels safer and comforted when she sees you. I also have a friend whose son would throw tantrums on the kitchen floor. She realized it was every time she mopped the floor with a cleaner from the store. She woke up like I did years ago and switched to non toxic cleaner and his tantrums stopped immediately. My point, it could be alot of factors, look at the foods she is eating and how she reacts after and what cleaners and other toxins are you using that may affect her.
Hope that helps, those changes improved our lives with 4 boys dramatically.

Tammi had a lot of great points…but I was not one to pick up my baby the second he started crying and yet still, it went on for 14 straight months!!!...uggg so I sooo feel your frustration!!!

My son also had horrible/terrible separation anxiety… I swear at about 14 months it just poof over night disappeared. It was about a month and ½ after he started walking…at first he would just follow me around the house crying as I got us ready and had to walk from room to room to get this and that…then once he realized he could go and do whatever he wanted while I was doing this it just stopped…and I swear it was over night…Now on the down side that doing what he wanted included taking books off of book shelves, dvd’s off of shelves and basically everything he could get his hands on but truth be told I did not care let him trash the pace I was just sooooo thankful he was not crying…

Again I hate it when people used to tell me it was just a phase…because golly it was one long Phase!! But I think now as I look back on it I think it was because here and there he will have a day or two like that again but hey I will take a day or 2 over 14 months…lol But honestly it will pass, and I would also double check the pain thing too just incase…

I wish I had an answer for you, but I really dont! I'm sure a lot of people will say (and they will be right) that it's a phase. Kids go through these phases that never seem to end, especially if it's a phase thats tough on you! My daughter was a screaming collicky baby for the first year, and we tried everything without much success, so I know some of how you feel. I hope everyone has some suggestions for you! :)

I do believe that this is an age-appropriate phase. For me, it lasted a lot longer with my spirited daughter than with my more laid-back son. He was a lot more comfortable with the idea that when people go, they return.

With my daughter, I remember sitting on the floor folding laundry because she cried if I stood up! I couldn't wait for her to stop holding my leg :-)However, she was learning the same thing: that if I go, I come back. I just had to work slowly with her. I spent a week or so being there for her all the time (and a sling is a huge help--an Ergo's great for versatility), then would step around a piece of furniture when she was distracted. We have a great room, so I'd just slowly, slowly stretch my distance--and I always made eye contact if she made noise/cried. The point was to teach her that if I go, I will be back.

It sounds like you are really frustrated with her. I know my daughter has always been more intense than my son, so her stages affect our whole family much more. It really helped me to read Raising Your Spirited Child. Some children are born more sensitive and intense, and there are ways you can make things easier for both of you. Dr. Sears has pretty much the same concept--he calls them high needs children. You and your daughter are both perfectly normal!

Mostly, try to see the humour in it! It will pass, and I don't believe it's anyone's fault!

My son is now 20 mo and has been exactly the same since birth. We recognize what it takes to keep him content and try everything in our power.... We never close doors behind us, take him into every room, carry him whenever he needs it, hold him a lot, avoid most things that cause him sep. anxiety type issues, etc His personality has affected our family and made us adjust some of what we do/don't do. We can't both be in church at the same time because he doesn't tolerate the nursery without us, then if he's with one of us he cries inconsolably for the other. Car rides are sometimes impossible. It's all been a lot of work for everyone, but he us so worth it.

I have done some reading and fond that most reputable experts say that how to respond to a child that shows separation issues is to flood them with security.... Make them feel and know that you are going to be there and provide what they need right now. Even though it seems obvious to us that you will be back from the bathroom, shower, taking the trash out etc to and insecure child they do not feel that it's a guarantee.... They feel insecure and possibly abandoned. It's hard, but they need constant reassurance of security, to the point that it seems rediculous. If they are left to cry or not comforted when they are feeling scared/insecure then they will be set back from any progress as it only tells them that they do have something to worry about! As much stress and work that it is, if you provide constant security and sense of trust, she will be allowed to continue to grow and trust and eventually know that you are there for her even when not in sight or holding her. On the other hand, the more she is not responded to, the more insecure she will be for now.... Does she sleep with/near you? Does she spend lots of good quality time together each evening playing, holding, cuddling, interacting? I know you mentioned needing to make dinner when she really wants to interact.... Maybe do several meals in advance on the weekend so there is less work day housework and more mommy/baby time? She really needs you a lot right now....

Is it possible that her separation comes from her not feeling comfortable with where she goes or who she's cared for when you are at work? Just a thought.... Since she can't tell you, you can only go on her behavior and cues.

My girl was a crier too. Now that she is almost 2.5, she still is very attached to me. I would just hold her, even if it did drive me nuts. I figure, she's only little once. I might as well hold her as much as I can. But that's me. Try putting a dvd on for her, that keeps mine entertained. she loved Elmo when she was one and still does. Overall, I think babies need to be held. Moms in the very old days use to carry their babies in a sling till they were like three. Enjoy her now, soon she'll be three before you know it. Good luck.

IMHO excessive crying is a symptom of a problem (or problems) - it is your job to discern what the problems are. It is not her fault that she cannot communicate in an adult fashion. The crying is about the only way she can let you know that something is amiss.

I went through a similar situation with my daughter. She had huge separation anxiety with me. I am sorry to say, hers lasted 3 - 5 years with breaks in between. But I compensated by doing the high chair thing like you did, and just tried to leave a little more often, let her cry and then come back. I also would put her in a back pack and carry her when I had to go farther for longer. I know this is hard, but I found by not abandoning her, she eventually became extremely outgoing and independent and she is now 12. I made it through, some times I think just barely, but because I didn't leave her in the first few years without her consent, by kindergarten, she was ready to go and not tears or anxiety problems. Just one mom's way of doing things. Good luck

My suggestion is to be with her. Stop fighting it and just be there.

Just remember she is not doing it to drive you crazy. It may seem like that, but it's not. She's just a little girl who loves being with her Mom (obviously you give her great comfort when you're there or she wouldn't want you around!) and she gets unhappy when you're not there.

If you can remember that she can't "explain" what she's feeling, all she can do is let it out in her way (by crying or screaming), you might feel less like she is driving you crazy and more like "hey, she's trying to tell me something, and it's seems pretty important to her, maybe I'll just be with her and see if we can sort it out". This feels a whole lot better (to both of you) than "she shouldn't be doing this".

Have fun with her if you can. Make it silly. Try some of the stuff others have said, but go with your instincts. I have an almost 6 year old who is still so intense I can't follow my own advice some days. But most days I do, and we are both better for it.

My daughter was exactly the same way until she turned 2 and then it just stopped.

Hi B.,

I had a touch of this with my little one, as I am a SAHM and she was so used to me being at her side ALWAYS. So even when I tried to venture into the next room, she panicked. So, I am going to give you the same advice an experienced mother gave to me at that time. First, recognize your part in this. You've help mold your daughter to behave this way, no matter your reason, you have to acknowledge now that this isn't just random behavior - this is the behavior you've taught her. There are two reasons for this, a) accountability; and b) to help control your anger. Anger is normal and when you are stressed out, probably not sleeping, busy, and being yelled at all day - you might have the desire to loose it. That's when you stop and remember that your daughter isn't at fault for acting out what you've taught her. Now how to fix it... Create a key phrase. Mine was, "Mommy will be RIGHT back." I would put her down (she would cry) and I would disappear, but come RIGHT back. This will only work if you ALWAYS come right back after you've said you will. Every time you need to leave her and go into another room, say the phrase and then go. It took my daughter a few weeks, but she did notice the trend and stopped screaming and being so clingy. She's still a Momma's girl, for sure, but now it is at a level I can enjoy. Also I had this same issue at night when I tried to put her to bed. If you do too, I have a solution for that (that won't break your heart). Good luck!

2 things I thought of while reading your post...

1) She is in pain
2) She is not in any kind of pain

You said she had colic as a baby (painful) and there was teething (painful) so now I'm wondering if there is some other kind of pain (ear, tummy, ??) that you are unaware of, and just your pressence seems to make it all better, just like it helped when you rocked her when she was a baby with colic.

--OR--

More likely, there is nothing at all wrong and this is a learned behavior. I'm assuming you held and/or soothed her in some way for all of those months in her life when she was in pain (and of course there is the possibility that you THOUGHT she was in pain when she really was just tired and wanted to be held). I'm sorry I don't have the answer for you as far as exactly what to do... but it seems to me that you need to build some trust with her so she can understand
a) that every time you are out of her sight doesn't mean you'll be gone all day
b) that when you are out of her sight, she'll be OK

I would ask her pediatrician for advice.

It's understandable if you are gone all day working and she only has you in the evenings and weekends why she is acting the way she does. Do you rock her at night? Do you read books to her and take time for just Mommy and me every evening? This could make a big difference in hers and your life. I know working full time is hard to do and then find time to clean house and time for the kids. I was a single Mom most of my girls life so I know. But when I was home I spent every minute possible with them. They even sat in the bathroom and talked to me when I bathed. Stop and look at it from her point of view. She will out grow this but all children are different. Might be right away and might take a few years.

All this time I though I was the only one with this problem! my daughter is 2 and she is still crying.. we went through the whole colic,teething thing and she still keeps crying... let me know if you find something that works

im sorry for you, thats so stressfull, i dont have a lot of advice, but a child of that age cant tell us when they are in pain, so maybe there is something wrong with her, maybe reflux or something like that, dont let her cry it out, she must really need your comfort. it may not end unitl she can talk and express what is wrong.
maybe you could try teaching her sign language so she can express herself to you, they can start learning it at 12 months, there are lots of programs for this
i have an 18 month old that i cant leave anywhere, she wont stay with anyone, so she is attatched to me 24/7, i know how that feels.

It sounds as if you leave her to go to work. Did you ask how is she like an hour or so after you leave? Maybe she just really misses you if you are out for an extended period in the day. Also definitely check with your pediatrician to make sure she is not in any pain. But if I were you I would try not to give in to her--if all is cleared by the pediatrician and reward her when you leave for a little while and she doesn't cry. It will get better though, hang in there.

I can totally understand. Sometimes you just need some space! Mine is only 2 months old... so I'm not there yet. My variety of slings have helped a lot with freeing up my hands... but I'm sure that's difficult with a 15 month old. (Catbird Baby Piccolo or Baby K'tan would probably work)

Here's some crazy ideas you might want to try... Maybe you could videotape yourself reading her a story and play it on TV... That might 'buy' you some alone time. Or find one of those stuffed animals where you can record your voice........ I used to teach kindergarten and swore if I just broadcasted lessons from the next room they would pay more attention. LOL!

Good luck!

crying is how she tries to tell you something- Dr. Bruce West- Health Alert says crying is hungry- something that her body needs to help it grow is missing-and it makes her body hurt. Colic means some nutrition is missing!
I am sorry that you have been given so much wrong information. You can find Dr West on the internet- his information will handle this. Another great referance is Weston Price Foundation.
Also we have found YokaReeder.com helpful to turn behavior around, but first, trust me on this, your daughter has been mis diagnosed-and the referances above will handle that, and that is what needs to be handled first
best, k

Who is watching her during the day while you are at work? Have you checked with your doctor, chiropractor, health food advisor?