All Kinds of Eating Issues: 13 Month

Boy have I been through that! My duaghter did the same thing. She resisted foods like no tomorrow. She has food allergies. We found out the hard way. Unfortunately... most of them won't show up until 2ish. She went into anaph. with PB. Have you noticed any red spots on her wrists or fingers? Usually happens with wheat and eggs. My duaghter has a long list of food allergies. So if you have any questions, please feel free to ask. - M.

R.,

The not chewing sounds fairly normal, especially since she doesn't have many teeth to chew with! You can't really "chew" until you have molars. The front teeth are for biting pieces off; the molars are for mashing. My 15 month old still wolfs her food down. If we give her too much at a time, she will choke herself. I would continue to feed her soft table foods, cut into small chunks, that she can mash in her mouth. Avocado and soft fruit are great choices. Harder fruits can be steamed for just a couple minutes - I did this with apples and DD loved them. Just put a few chunks on her plate/tray at a time and refill as often as you need to.

It does sound like she is drinking A LOT of milk for her age. I would talk to her doctor, or do some research on your own, but I believe the normal quota of milk for this age is closer to 12 oz a day. When babies are taking a lot of calories in from milk, they don't need as many calories from food and are consequently uninterested in eating.

I would also be cautious about soy in general. It is supposed to be a "healthy" food, but it does contain plan estrogens that act on our bodies the same way our own estrogen does. Estrogen is a sex hormone that is also associated with increased rates of cancer. A lot of the information on soy has been drawn from traditionally prepared asian soy products. American processed soy products are not prepared the same way. Asian preparation changes the composition of soy, and so western processed soy products may not be as healthy as we have been led to believe. The big push for milk is the calcium, and there are other foods that she can get calcium from. If she likes juice, you can give her some calcium fortified orange juice, or she can eat processed dairy products like yogurt and cheese. My DD is not "allergic" to milk, but she is definitely intolerant of raw milk. When I tried giving her milk for the first time, she got horribly stinky diapers and constant diarrhea. So now we just don't do milk. She gets plenty of other processed dairy products, which don't bother her.

You mentioned that she is not gaining weight. Is she losing weight? Does she seem happy? (when she isn't sick.) Is she active and interested in the world around her? Does her skin and hair look healthy? These questions are WAAAAAAY more important than where she rates on a growth chart. It is really common for babies to slow or stop weight gain when they get really mobile. It makes sense, since they are expending more energy in walking, running and climing, and they are also less likely to sit down and eat well. Also, the beginning of the second year is when babies' genetic tendencies usually kick in. My first, for example, always topped the weight and height charts until she started walking at 9 months. Her dad and I are average height and weight. By the time she was about 15 months, our daughter was pretty much middle of the road on the weight and height charts, which is probably where her genetic tendencies are.
My first daughter didn't gain an ounce from around 10-14 months of age, but she grew five inches! She was completely fine, but just growing at her own pace.

If your daughter does seem to be ill or lethargic, than there probably is a problem, and you need to talk to her doctor about it. I think, however, that it is more likely to be a health issue than a starvation issue. It is way more likely that she has a food allergy (or an intollerance, which will affect her, but will not show up on an allergy test) than that she is wasting away due to lack of food. Most of the time, children will eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. It's only when we train them to use food for comfort or have power struggles with them over food that their eating habits get skewed. As far as I know, fever is not associated with food allergies, but gas and diarrhea sure are. Her doctor might have some good information for you, but you will probably get more help from a local dietician or allergist. Just remember that if she does have allergies, you need to treat the allergy, not just mask the symptoms with allergy medication.

Eating is such a tough subject for so many moms. Just remember not to make it a power struggle with your daughter, because YOU WILL NOT WIN! It is not our responsibility to make our children eat. It is our responsibility to provide healthy food options and let them do the rest. Your daughter will definitely eat when she's ready and not a moment before! Try not to worry about what anyone else's kids are doing, or whether she is eating like a 10 month old or a 20 month old. Just let her grow and learn at her own pace, and things will be fine.

Best of luck,
S.

(1)It sounds like your daughter eats like a normal toddler. Actually --- better than a normal toddler --- she's not picky.
(2)Cut her food up into small pieces and don't put much on her plate.
(3)Have age appropriate utensils available to her. She can't learn how to use them unless she practices.
(4)I don't think your daughter is stuck in a 10-month-old eating habit, but I think her parents are. Let go. Let her make a mess. She can't learn how to eat unless you give her independence to practice.
(5)She is drinking too much milk. She should be having 16-20 oz. per day. My sons are the same way. I only let my son have water/juice with a meal. He can have milk with a snack, at naptime, or at night time. If she fills up on milk, she won't be hungry for food.
(6)If she has been sick and losing weight --- take her to the doctor.
(7)If she has a food allergy --- there would be noticeable symptoms. For example, we have to avoid peanuts/peanut butter, berries, & citrus fruits with my toddler. He gets a rash around his mouth and his anus. My oldest was the same way. We tried the foods again when he was older and he was fine.
(8) A lot of it is that the digestive system is still developing. They don't go to eating like babies to adults. It's a learning process. Give it time. Keep doing chewable finger foods.
(9)Give her a multivitamin.
(10)You are not alone. Feeding toddlers is a challenge. It's a phase and will get better as your child gets older.

I don't have a lot to say on the food as my kids have had molars by your daughters age, but the gassiness and diarrhea could be allergies. Have you considered removing the milk? Soy is a pretty common allergy. I do have a hubby and a kiddo who get that way with eggs, too. A food diary could help isolate the culprit. GL! I hope some moms can help with the feeding thing!

my little guy used to have have a lot of the same characteristics as your little one. he would drink a ton of milk and not eat much else except for his favorites. i think he was getting full off the milk and didn't see the need for much else.we first limited his milk intake to meal times giving him water when ever he was thirsty(sometimes doing juice at snack time) and then we fianlly switced him to rice milk. he is doing better on the rice milk(less gassy no more exzema).we also have started offering him more snacks through out the day. as far as the chewing i would try just cutting things up really small. take some thing off your plate, a green bean for example, that she should be able to eat. cut a few of them up in little piece so that even if she puts five pieces in her mouth she won't choke. part of the learning to eat process is experiementing in my opinion. let her experiment with the textures in her hands and in her mouth she may gag and choke a little but as long as the pieces cannot really choke her, i think that is part of the learning process.just watch her closely so if she gets to where she looks like she might choke you can scoop it out and let her try again. she may need to try things out for a while before she gets it. i have alittle one now that is 11 months. i cut up noodles really small(like really small) just enough for her little hand to get a few pieces at a time. i dump a hand ful on her tray and then watch her closely so she doesn't get too out of hand. some time she gets a few in her mouth , other times they end up in her lap. but that is how she learns to eat. i do the same thing with peas and other fruit. even tiny pieces of breador teething bisquits to practice with. it is messy and gets all over but they need the practice not just to learn how to eat but also for hand muscle and coordination development. i bet if you just keep trying she will get the hang of it but make sure you keep giving her the chance to try everyday. if you have any more questions i would be happy to help. i do daycare and have seen a lot of babies through this stage. take care, N.

I know that it can be difficult when you child is just learning to eat. I have a 4 yr old and an 11 mo old, both girls. My fisrt woed of advice would be to stop giving her soy milk...it can really mess with your hormones. I am starting to get into the organic and healthy side of foods. I took my oldest daughter off of dairy products for a while and the lady at our local health food store informed me that soy isn't really all that good for you. She told me to try almond milk or rice milk instead. My daughter really liked it and I also tried it (wanting to know what I was giving my child) and I didn't think it was so bad myself. On the food side, I would give her the gerber graduates snack foods if you haven't already tried that. I give them to my 11 mo old (who only has 2 teeth) and she does really well with them. I give her the veggie and cheddar puffers (like cheetos)the fruit strips, yogurt melts, and nilla wafers cookies, etc. She does really well them all. As far as her not gaining any weight and the doctors just semding you home without any real answers, I would recommend going to the health food store and asking for some advise on natural remedies that will help her tummy to feel better and also some things you might be able to giver her to help her gain weight. I hope I am able to be of help to you and that everything gets better. It is really hard when our little ones have problems and we don't seem to have the answers. Good luck and take care.
Sincerely
N. Coles

You would be surprised how much a baby can "chew" without teeth. My son (now 20 months) has been gumming solid food since he was about 10 months, and didn't get his first tooth until he was 13 months. Just make sure the items you give her are small enough to not choke on. If she shoves the whole cracker in her mouth, just give it to her in pieces. Offer her a spoon with every meal, but don't be surprised if she just plays with it for a while. My son still does. I'm not sure if this was helpful for you, or if it made you question my parenting methods, but I have never had a problem giving my son solid foods, even with the lack of teeth.

It's very normal that a child of that age still doesn't "eat", although I understand that it's frustrating. It's a good sign that she's putting it in her mouth. She's tasting foods from her future diet and apparently enjoying the taste and texture.

She is not suffering nutritionally as long as she's receiving formula or whole milk. (Remember, babies need the fat in whole milk for brain development.)

She will start to eat soon. Never reveal to her that this behavior frustrates you.

Just keep playing. Let her have apple sauce and a spoon when you have time on your hands to clean up. Give her a little bit but enough to spoon. then refill. gerber has these suction bottom bowls but I found them to be a pain and just went to the realy thing. I like the Gerber bowl with the lids on them. I could prepare ahead of time and store things. I also had a small Cuisenart processor. I chopped up cold cutas and all sorts of things and blended it with fruit perees like apple sauce. Lastly, I had my first who ate everything even raw onions when she was one and now won't eat anything but mac and cheese. My second was picky. I kept his diet simple. It did turn out he has Non-specific Infantile chronic diariah...which is a funny name for low tolerance. He does not tolerate corn, soy, or dairy. also preservatives and high sugars. But there isn't a whole lot one can do to figure this out until they are two or so. You might trying to look it up on the internet and see if it fits your worries you mentioned.

First suggestion, don't offer milk until after she has eaten and limit how much she gets to whatever is the allotted amount for a 13 month old. You might check with an occupational therapist and perhaps a dietician. If there are issues with the physical act of eating then an OT I think will help. My son only had a few teeth until he was two. I had at most 4-6 but he made it work. You might need to model eating and give only one piece at a time. Feeding may take longer. Perhaps not when you are eatingso you can focus on the food your child has. It is normal for them to want to shove it all in their mouths.

L.

I know it is scary offering new foods you think your baby can't chew, but you would be surprised what they learn to gum! My 23 month old only has his 4 front teeth and the back teeth are only hintng at coming in, none of my kids get any "real" teeth until after they turn 2, as to shoving everything in thier mouth, it is very normal, my littlest holds his food in his cheeks, we think he is a chipmunk saving up for the winter, and when he first started doing this we were afraid he would choke, that hasn't happened yet he has gagged a time or two though, but that has taught him to be more careful.

The scariest thing is knowing that something might choke them, but 99% of the time they only gag, they learn to hold it in their mouths longer so that it can get mushy, and then that they can swallow. Don't be so afraid of this happening, I know that is easier said then done! But it really helps when you are introducing new foods.

Good luck!

I want to agree with the comment by Sarah. It sounds like allergies to me. Especially dairy and soy. Soy is a tricky subject, but from what I've read it isn't the glorious miracle food we've been led to believe it is. And dairy isn't the only source of protein and calcium. In fact, our bodies can use the calcium from vegetables much better than the calcium from dairy, and protein is found in about a million different things besides meat and cheese. Yogurt is the one thing that we need--the cultures help digestion. Get goat's milk yogurt. It is easier to digest and similar to breast milk. You can get it at some grocery stores and most health food stores. And it's yummy. You can try rice milk or almond milk for softening cereal and such. Both are widely available.

As far as the actual eating--if she is 13 months she is ready to feed herself some of the time. Make it fun and get ready for the mess. Give her a little bit of one thing on the table at a time and let her have at it. I usually put it on a plastic plate and hand her the spoon. The spoon gets waved around, she shoves food in and the rest gets dropped on the floor but she eats and has a great time. I put a mat under the high chair if there is carpet around. Whatever we have for dinner I take a portion of--before serving--and make it soft enough for her to basically swallow, but without changing the appearance too much. Sometimes I put it on my plate and give it to her from there--making her think it was what I was eating. (That has backfired a little, but not too badly.)I only give her one thing at a time, a couple of bites at a time--on her tray. I usually offer veggies first, then carbs. And I only offer water to drink at the meal. No juice, no milk. (I only give my kids juice at breakfast and maybe one snack.)When I did all of this her appetite picked up and she started getting more in at each sitting. She liked having control of her eating.

Also, when a baby doesn't eat a lot at one sitting, it is critical that when you do offer her food you only offer things that are giving her the nutrients she needs. Quick snacks are not good for a baby who needs to bulk up. Create fun, bright colored snacks that are made with a variety of whole foods--not pre-made, dye-ridden stuff that will go right through her.

Most of all, be patient. Every child has issues and some are just more demanding than others. You are doing a great job in just caring and trying to find a solution. Give it some time. My difficult eater is now almost 2 1/2, still turns her nose up at things, but is a very healthy, plump baby who eats something of everything at the table just like everyone else. Oh, and my doctor said it can take up to 100 tries to acquire a taste for something. I counted and he was right! Keep at it!

I would have your doctor take a blood test and find out what allergies your child may have. I did and I was shocked on the results because the only sympton she had was the eczema on her face and gassiness.