Hi M.,
I've read your post and your 2nd response. I think that you are to be commended to reaching out to Mamasource moms. You are doing a lot of things right here - you've gotten your GED which you never, ever have to apologize for or be defensive about! You are to be congratulated! You have a strong bond with your sister, and you clearly are dedicated to your daughter.
You have been with Chris for 10 years so that's since you were 16 years old. He has been your whole life and it is understandable that you love him and want to defend him while still reaching out for help. There are things that have been recommended to you which you don't feel apply and/or which you are not ready for. So you need to take advice that you feel will help. Only you know where your relationship is at right now.
I agree about Al-Anon. There is great and non-judgmental support. You can get help on line if getting to meetings is tough. If you are in financial straits, then the cost of your husband's alcohol is a big problem as well. Beer is expensive. He is not there for you when he is drinking even if he is not being mean. So counseling or Al-Anon will help a lot with figuring out how to handle that. If you can't afford counseling, ask your town's Family & Children Service group for low-cost help, ask your doctor (OB/GYN, primary care, or pediatrician) for a referral to someone who specializes in your issues and who will operate on a sliding scale or take your insurance, or reach out to a local minister or other clergy member whether or not you are a member of that church. There are many resources out there - you just need a little help in finding them.
First, get your sister to stop saying anything about how she feels about him, and to stop putting comments on his Facebook page. He obviously got very angry, and that's because (I'm guessing) that he KNOWS he has a problem but isn't ready to face it yet, so he gets furious if anyone criticizes it or refers to it. Then you can talk to her about YOU and have her be a source of support for you.
If you don't want your daughter to see this behavior anymore, then you have to go out for a while. You don't have to call it "leaving" but you can call it a visit with grandparents or your sister, whatever. You mention that everyone has a "full house" but maybe it won't be an imposition if you spread your visits out among a bunch of people who love you. I know you don't want to make him mad but there's no point in you witnessing this. I also know it's not easy to pack and leave with a little one because they need so much stuff. Maybe you can have an overnight bag in the car and ready for a visit.
You mention that you lost all your friends when you had your daughter. Find some free groups like local mothers' groups, a library story/play group, or start one. They rotate from house to house and all you do is provide coffee and snacks when it's your turn. Some towns have a Newcomers Club (even if you're not new, you can join!) that sponsors activities. Put a flyer up in the children's room of the library or at the child care area of the gym to see if anyone is interested in starting one. Get some new friends who will provide you and your daughter with play time/socializing and ultimately let you meet some new people, some of whom may become close friends.
Good luck and keep reaching out!