Age to Stop Going into the Dr Visit with Your Child

I still go in with my 15 year old. Then at some point the doctor asks me to leave so she can talk to and examine my daughter privately. My daughter is somewhat shy and I think prefers me there at the beginning of the appointment.

My Mom still goes in the room with me if she attends - I am an adult.

OBGYN visits are another story.

I will go in with my son until he requests otherwise.

My daughter just had her last well child check. She's almost 18. I've been in the room for every visit.

Why? Because I take an interest in her health care & she always wanted me there.

You need to go in with them until they are at least 16. Your kids are too young for you to be considering it now. Way too young.

My daughter is 18 and fortunately, she has not been to the Dr much other than yearly checks.

That said, I would follow her lead... if she wants me there, I am happy to be there and if not, I am happy to wait in the waiting area.

A couple of years ago, I did not go in so that she could converse freely with the pedi but if she ever asks me to be there, I would be by her side in a heartbeat.

I would talk to them about it. When they want you to stop, then stop. I don't remember if my SD was 10 or 12, and there were still times past then that, depending on the appointment, somebody was there. Like when she had a wound drained. Things that were not as private/personal. When you stop going, a nurse should stay with them.

I leave it up to my son. He is 16, and he doesn't mind me being there for regular checkups and sick visits. Now, if they are checking his "manly parts" I leave the room.

I would go until they get a gyn exam for a girl (probably mid to late teens). Not sure about a boy, you might ask them.

My eldest is 12 years old and the plan is to continue going in with her to be her advocate. When I feel that she can advocate for herself and when she's learned to ask the appropriate questions and listen to the doctor's advice, she'll be old enough.

Same for the other girls.

I went in with them until they were around 13/14.
When puberty kicks in I want them to feel comfortable asking embarrassing questions they otherwise might not ask with mom in the room.

Once they hit puberty they really don't want you coming in with them anymore.

You can go in at any age when it gets down to it. It depends what the appt. is for. Think of when husbands and wives go in together or an adult daughter or son with a parent or a sister and sister. A lot depends on the type of medical need and situation. Although it's a law that the medical file doesn't have to be disclosed to the parent once the child is 13 unless the child gives permission. (which stinks)

Generally speaking usually around the age of 15 or 16. I found that my kids still wanted me to go in with them even after this age though. It made them more comfortable. And even if they go in by themselves you'd want to talk to the doctor just in case there may be any misunderstandings. Certainly your children would need you there. The doctor may be a doctor but he's also a stranger, and it can be intimidating to see a doc even for an adult.

Starting at around age 12 I asked if they wanted me to go into the room with them at doctor appointments. Sometimes the kids would go in by themselves and other times they'd ask me to go in with them. I felt it was important to give them time to ask and answer questions that they might have been embarrassed to ask or answer in front of mom.

Same as someone below me posted... I go in to the appointment with them. At some point (when the physical exam is imminent --not just the listening to the chest, but the private parts for boys) I will step out of the room and ask the doctor to let me know when they are done.

Then they open the door back up and I go back in to finish any follow-up discussion. This allows my son privacy for the exam, and also privacy if he has something he wants to discuss with the doctor without my presence. Yet, still gives ME a chance to ask questions of the doctor or discuss whatever is relevant to that appointment. But this is only for a fully physical. For a "sick child" appointment, I stay for the entire appointment. My 14 year old doesn't care about what pharmacy I'll want his prescription called in to. And for ANYone who might be receiving medication instructions, it is helpful to have someone besides the patient there to ask questions that the patient (who, evidently is ill and not at their best) may not think to ask... like to take with food, or not... how soon a change should be noted after starting the medication, whether to take the first dose right away and the 2nd dose at bedtime (even if it is 3 pm) or to wait and do the first dose at bedtime, etc etc etc...

Or to ask about alternatives to medication... with a prescription called in as a backup if "wait and see" doesn't change anything for 24 hours, or whatever.

When in doubt, Ask you Kid! They will let you know. I promise.

Our pediatric practice requires a parent be present for any visit by a child under 18. None of my kids ever had a problem with it; neither did I.

My youngest, now 19, still likes me present for most of her doctor's visits (in addition to the normal stuff,she's had a few issues with sinuses & allergies and also more than her share of orthopedic problems). She says I "can be kind of useful about these things." I choose to think she means that as a compliment. ;-)

C.:

I stopped going in with my daughter around 16 - when she asked me not to. Which was fine.

My boys? At age 13 - parents have to leave the room when they do the exam at our pediatrician. We come back in once the exam is over. If it's not for a yearly exam? I am in their with them.

Hope that helps!

Wow, I'm finding I really disagree with a lot of the posts. My oldest son is your son's age--he will be 9 soon--and even at his 8 year well child, his doc (who is family practice, has delivered 2 of my 3 kids, and has three small-ish kids of her own, younger than mine) informed him that he'd have his genitals examined, and he said he didn't want me in the room for that. She was very ok with that, as was I; in my opinion, the time to let kids ask questions and develop an independent sense of themselves and their bodies is much younger than 16. At 16, many kids are perhaps not THROUGH puberty, but certainly beyond the start. My son started wearing deodorant about 2 1/2 years ago, his body started changing shape a bit, so I know he's starting puberty a little earlier than some, and my kids and I all love our doctor--I'd like him to feel like he can ask her anything, and that he has trust in her. There may come a day when he wants a male, and if so, that's fine, but for us, the age at which I step out was 8. I mean, I still go, and still converse with the doc, and probably will as long as he's under my care--but that does not mean that I need to be there for the whole exam.

You are required to be at the appointment until they are 18 in order to authorize that they can treat your child.

However, around age 15 (and sometimes MUCH earlier) they will start having you leave the room either for a portion of the visit or for the entire thing.