I am auntie to 2 and 5 year old girls. Any thoughts about good age for ear piercing...having some angst about diasgreeing with mom (re: possibly too young). Maybe I should stay out of it, but want to support my nieces any way I can.
P.S. I think they should wait, but I just wanted some feed back as to what other's think. I realize that this is a parental decision. I am still allowed to have an opinion, and wanted to see if there was agreement out there. Thank you for your constructive and personal thoughts.
I got mine done at 7 - it was fine...and I waited till my daughter was 7 so she could take care of them herself. However, plenty of moms have their daughters done even when babies - so it's up to the mom how early she wants and if she is willing to take care of the ears or not because she will be the one taking care of them or telling the girls to take care of them.
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A.N.
answers from
Charlottesville
on
I had to wait until I was 18 (although I was actually 19 before I got them done). My daughter had been asking me for several years to get them done, and we finally let her for her 9th birthday just a couple of months ago. I was nervous about whether or not she'd be able to take care of them, but she did a good job with it. She doesn't tend to change the earrings frequently and she hasn't lost any that I'm aware of. It's taken a little bit to get used to changing the earrings, so I had to help at first, but she's got the hang of it now.
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S.C.
answers from
Norfolk
on
This is for the mother to decide. I wouldn.t recommend until the are older and can take care of them. But...it is ultamately the mom's choice.
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A.B.
answers from
Norfolk
on
The short of is is stay out of it. They're not your kids. If I were your sister, I would not appreciate you undermining me as a parent by being supportive of my kids in something I thought was inappropriate.
The long of it is, be supportive of your nieces by telling them that their mother is the authority and loves them very much and when it's ok for them to get their ears pierced, then their mother will allow. Kids need structure and consistency from the adults in their lives, and if you're constantly running contrary to your sister, you're going to make her life as a parent a living hell. If you get the response that little Susie at school has her ears pierced, then tell them that she is not Susie and that Susie's parents make the rules for Susie, and her mother makes the rules for her. You can be sympathetic without being supportive. Find out the reason your sister doesn't want piercings for her daughters and reinforce it gently. For what it's worth, I think that 2 and 5 are too young partly because they are not old enough to take care of them while they heal and partly because they may not want piercings when they get older. I got my ears pierced at 12, and while I was able to take care of them, I later decided I didn't like wearing the earrings and still don't. If my mom had waited until I was older, I might have made a different decision.
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S.M.
answers from
Washington DC
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Way too young - I believe it should be their choice - it's their bodies and a sentimental rite of passage to some degree. And then it should be something they get to do when they are old enough to take care of the ears, etc. I can't imagine inflicting pain like that as well as the danger assoicated with infections and having to wipe with alcohol (ouch!) on my little kids.
The only exception I have is that some people do it when their kids are infants. I personally would not, for the same reasons I mentioned. But at least at that age, the parent is in charge, and the child can't do much damage and will cooperate making care much easier.
As a parent, I would say mind your own business about the timing, but ask mom if you can make it a gift for a 13th birthday or something - and be prepared to pick out some pretty earings!!!
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A.V.
answers from
Washington DC
on
I'd stay out of it. My ears were pierced as an infant. My husband didn't allow his daughter to get hers done til she was in elementary school. For our baby, we're compromising and waiting til she asks, so if she asks at 5, then we'll do them at 5. If they're not your kids, I'd just not weigh in on this one. THere are bigger things to make a point about.
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S.R.
answers from
Washington DC
on
Support the mom on this. Don't try to be the cool aunt on this one. 2 and 5 year olds don't need pierced ears. I worked in a store that pierced ears. Nothing is more annoying than a kid SHRIEKING after the first one, and not being able to do the other one, and the mom getting angry at you because you won't do the other one.
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K.K.
answers from
Washington DC
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yeah, seriously, it's mom's call. it's totally fine for you to say something to her about your opinion, privately (ie. not taking sides with your nieces in front of them), ONCE, and after that the best thing you can do for mom, for your relationship with mom, and frankly for your relationship with your nieces is for you to support mom's decision in a positive way. for example, "I know you really want to get your ears pierced but mom said no so let's think of something else fun we can do like paint your toenails instead!" I hope you don't take this as harsh, I don't mean to be, but really, you can help mom by being an ally, and you can really, um, irk her, if you interfere. and it's just not your call.
good luck!
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M.K.
answers from
Dover
on
I don't believe that a child should have their ears pierced until they are able to take care of them. They need to be washed multiple times a day with hydrogen peroxide or something and they need to be turned constantly so the skin of the ear doesn't grown over them. I have seen children get them pierced and then have to have them cut out because they were not properly cared for. I have also seen ladies whose earring holes are stretched and ripped from having their ears pierced at a very young age and wearing having ears too much over the years. I suggest waiting until 10 or 12.
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R.D.
answers from
Washington DC
on
This was a big deal for me when my husband and I pierced our daughter's ears, because I didn't want to cause her any pain. But I figured it was better to do it when she was a baby then when she was older because I hated it and was one of the last people to get it done among my friends. It only burns for a minute and then it's over. I don't think they are too young at all - I dont really think there is a too young, except for a month or two old. And I hope this doesn't sound mean, because I have the same issue, but if they aren't your kids, it really isn't your business. And that does make it hard, because I know we always feel like we can do it best, but hopefully they will make a decision that works for them and you are okay with it!
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C.W.
answers from
Washington DC
on
When she is old enough to care for her ears herself (I was 6 yrs old). But since you are the aunt, you should just support the mom in her decision. My daughter, 5yrs, wants her ears pierced, but when I explained how it was done, she quickly changed her mind and is happy with stick on and clips.
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A.G.
answers from
Washington DC
on
In my house it was a right of passage. My mom agreed to do it when I was 8. I had to promise to take care of both my earings and my ears myself. It was a great feeling and she treated it like a passing from being a little girl to a big girl.
I really think that you should do it either as infants when Mom can easily take really good care of it or wait until the child is old enough to be responsible. (My best friends mom let her do it when she was 6 and her earing had to be surgically removed after several infections and growing into the ear).
Tell mom to stick to Mother daughter mani/pedis and leave the earrings for when it will really be meaningful to the kids.
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T.W.
answers from
Washington DC
on
I am going to try to say this without sounding rude!!!LOL It is mom's decision.
There is nothing more aggrivating than another person trying to parent your childre, even with the best imtentions. I know to you it seems trivial but, to her it would seem you are putting her children against her with your help. This could become a habit for the kids here becasue they know that is mom says no auntie is available to help change her mind. That could hinder you relationship with the mom as well. I am also an aunt and I understand that you are just wanted to help out, but oftern it comes off as medeling. I hope I did not offend you. I just want you to see things from mom's perspective.
P.S My little girl was 5months when per ears were peirced. I was told the older they are the more chance of infection because they are more aware the earrings are there and mess with them alot.
T.
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B.C.
answers from
Norfolk
on
Some people do this in some cultures almost as soon as they are born. Personally, I don't think it's a good idea until they can take care it them selves, not swallow any earring parts, and deal with any infections that may come along. My Mom wouldn't let me get pierced ears until I was 16 yrs old (one hole in each lobe). Now that I'm a mom myself, I agree with her.
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M.W.
answers from
Washington DC
on
That is a decision for the parents to make. Why would you get to disagree when the answer has been given? Unless it's something life threatening that you disagree with, or the girls are seriously being treated unfair or being way too overprotected, you really shouldn't even think about objecting to anything that she says. She is the mom for a reason! She has her best interest and intentions for her children as most any other mom would.
Therefore, you really should support her decision.
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R.H.
answers from
Norfolk
on
In our family it has been 6yrs old was the magic age but you also want to be fully sure of weather the mom and dad want it done. Before that age they are not fully aware of how much work it is and are not capable of doing it every day and if they don't they can and prob. will either get an infection or become allergic to the earings. If the parents don't agree with you it's not really up to you. The parents are the ones who have to over look the care of them. I asked my daughter this year if she wanted hers done surprisingly she said "No"
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K.L.
answers from
Washington DC
on
Personally, I don't think kids should have it done before they are 5 or 6. My mom and grandmother took me when I was 6 and we had a "girls day out". We went to lunch, went shopping and got my ears pierced. Now, 21 yrs later, I still remember how special that day was!
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R.F.
answers from
Washington DC
on
I had my daughters ears peirced at 3 months. The younger the better, then they won't remember.
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G.G.
answers from
Washington DC
on
I think it is up to Mom and the girls. We pierced my daughter's when she was 3 months and it was no big deal. She cried during the initial puncture then was fine. I think it is easier to do it when they are young. I always say that if she doesn't want them when she gets older she can take them out and let them close. It is not a permanent thing. Good luck!
G.
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T.H.
answers from
Norfolk
on
nowadays any age is ok. ive heard drs say wait til they are 3 months old because of the possibility of infection but other than that its up to mom and dad when they want to do if at all. some ways to decide when is best are pain; do you want to do it early when the child wont realize what just happened and will forget about the pain as soon as you pick them up and give them a bottle..this is usually around the age of infant on up to a year or 2 old. then there is the point of having yto take care of the ears; if you ant to wait until the child is old enough to clean them and change them on her own then waiting til she is at least 8 would probably be best. some parents want to wait until their child says they want earings befor they do it because they want it to be their choice. earings today arent seen as a grown up thing so having them doesnt really mean anything today other than being cute.
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N.S.
answers from
Norfolk
on
I think 2 and 5 aren't that bad compared to some moms piercing ears when they are little babies. Ultimately it is the parents decision. You can say something like isn't it alittle too young but you might just have to leave it at that.
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A.D.
answers from
Washington DC
on
I don't think they are to young. I have three girls and they all had their ear's pierced when they were two months old. They say you get it done when they are babies because it is less painful and then they get use to them. It's also good at a young age because mom can make sure that they are cleaned and turned so they will not get a infection.
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K.S.
answers from
Washington DC
on
M.,
I would have to say support Mom with her decision but you should feel free to discuss any info you have obtained with her. My niece was 4 years when had her ears pierced. Back then (14 yr ago) one ear was done at a time. She cried after the first and every one was ready to stop when she said she to pierce the other one. As a mom of 3 boys, if I had a girl she would have had her ears done as a baby. Some hospitals now offer it.
K.
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T.M.
answers from
Washington DC
on
It is ultimately up to mom to decide when it is best but my oldest was 3 months and my youngest was 8 weeks. I was 15 when I had mine done - it hurt! I had wanted mine done for years and my mom never would let me - when my grandmother was visiting she paid for me to have them done and my mom had heres done at the same time. I wanted my girls to not remember the pain of it so we had it done when they were infants. My oldest girl had the second hole when she was 10 as a birthday gift - she told me she was very grateful I did her 1st set as a baby - she most likely wouldn't get a third hole any time soon......I know there is much debate about waiting until they can take care of themselves, etc.... it was not hard to clean and turn the earrings when they were young - you chage a diaper, get them dressed in the am, evening... make earring cleaning part of your routine and it isn't bad. Also in regards to them pulling, etc... My girls never really messed with theirs. Ever hear of the word no? If they are taught not to bother them they won't.
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C.D.
answers from
Washington DC
on
Our magic age is 12. But, it is the mom and dad's decision. Please don't go against their wishes. it just creates controversy and problems and in the end, you may not have the freedom to see your nieces if you go against the mom. I know that that would happen if I were in this situation. If my sister went against my express wishes, my kids wouldn't be allowed to spend time with her!! She is the mom and even if you don't agree with her, you MUST respect her decision. You can support your nieces by taking them to the park or out for ice cream. I am not trying to be rude but honest as a mom of three kids who are VERY close to their aunt.
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C.O.
answers from
Washington DC
on
M.:
I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 13. My parents were adamant about it.
When I had a daughter almost 22 years ago - I thought - I'll get her ears pierced earlier than that - then I met a girl who was 3 years old and missing part of her lower ear lobe because of an infection from the piercings. This was only on one ear - but still - it made an impact on me.
Talking with piercers - they'll do it as early as 6 weeks - but you MUST be persistent in turning and cleaning the ears. And changing the earrings out.
I now see why my parents said 13 - I was able to care for them on my own and I was able to make some choices on my own as well.
I know there are people out there who pierce ears early and have no problems but there are problems that can happen. If they have a really busy life - something as simple as turning the piercings or cleaning them may fall by the way side. If the child is an ear-grabber - she may grab and rip it out.
Take care!
Cheryl
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J.C.
answers from
Richmond
on
The plan: wait until 13th birthday. If a responsible child should appear before then, then we might consider allowing them to get their ears pierced earlier. (but probably not before 10) I have two girls (currently, 5 and almost 7) and they both want pierced ears only for the earrings. Yet.. when I get them clip ons.. or magnetic earrings they cannot keep track of them, lose them immediately and for the most part - never have them because they are not responsible about them. It is alot of work and they need to be able to take care of their ears themselmes! I would follow the mom's lead here. where ever they stand and I would try to back her up for your nieces. It would make me really mad if my sister tried to undermine me here.
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E.B.
answers from
Dover
on
I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 13 and only one hole in each ear (it was all I wanted anyways). It was my birthday (becoming a teenager) that I looked forward to. My boyfried was the same way (getting one ear pierced). So, we will more than likely expect to wait until then to have our daughter (who is 3) decide if she wants hers done. If the question arises earlier, we MIGHT look into how responsible she is at that time but as it stands...it will happen when she is 13. So, definitely, like everyone else says...go with mom on this one. I know if my sister did that without asking me first, I'd be really upset with her (and she'd also have to deal with the wrath of my boyfriend, too :-))...not a good combo to mess with.
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E.D.
answers from
Richmond
on
M.,
I would definitely say support the mom on this one. See what she things. I got my ears pierced at age 7 and my sister had to wait till she was 7 to get hers done. Some moms get it done when their children are a few months old, but there is NO magic age as to when it should be or should not be done. It's all personal preference. But definitely go with the mom on this one and if she specifies a certain age, be sure to encourage your nieces that as soon as they turn that age they can ask their mom to have their ears pierced. But the responsibility on the mom so that when the kids get disappointed that you can't do something they understand that it is their mom that has said so, not you and this way it doesn't undermine any of their mother's authority.
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D.R.
answers from
Washington DC
on
my girls got theirs done at 6 months right after their second hep shots.
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S.D.
answers from
Washington DC
on
My husband and I decided that when our daughter asked, then we would let her. She is 3 and right before Easter she asked if she could get holes in her ears like mommy. We took her, and she did great. She picked her earrings out and sat up like a big girl and didn't even cry. She lets me put the cleaning solution on them and turns them herself everyday.