After School Schedule

N.,

You are a brave Mom to not allow your hungry children to not eat! Wow, how can you make a 6 and 5 year old not eat until 5:30 each day? They have different bodies than you and your husband do. Their blood sugar levels are different than yours. Are you overweight? Are they overweight? Do you have diabetes in your family? Why are you so afraid of feeling your children who are OBVIOUSLY hungry? When you do not allow for your children to eat during the day their blood sugar levels go crazy and in turn they are harder to get to focus or enjoy quieter activities because their bodies are trying to balance out their levels.

I know there are hundreds of healthy snacks that you can use for quality eating and time with your boys. I am VERY concerned about your little one. Food is a basic necessity of life and for some reason you are saying “NO” to their bodies need for food. Try these healthy and blood sugar regulator snacks;
-2 graham crackers and 1/2 cup of 2percent milk
-6 baby carrots and 1/2 spoon of low cal dip
-Ants on a Log - celery and peanut butter with raisins
-1 cup of low fat yogurt
-Cheese strings
-1/2 of an apple with 2% milk
-Broccoli with low fat dip.
-10 corn chips with salsa

Each of these snacks is healthy and will not affect their dinner eating habits. YES if you allow them to fill up on anything that is junk OF COURSE they will not eat a healthy dinner but after a big day or a stressful day or a tiring day THEY NEED TO LEVEL OFF WITH A SNACK. I think you will find that they will be better able to focus on an activity without their bellies screaming for a snack!!!!!

During this time it is MOMMY & ME time. Everyone sit down and TALK about their day, their thoughts, their friends, their teachers, their fears, their achievements, their family or you! Food now becomes a pleasant activity instead of a battle of the wills.
They will begin to look forward to this time with you and after their needs have been met with food and attention you can have an easier afternoon. NO begging before dinner because their sugar levels are LOW! What time do you go to bed? How would you like it if you could not eat until 1 hour before you went to bed? Listen to your children's whining they are trying to tell you something!

As for your little one.....This is a no brainer - - make him the Family Chef!!! Can you get the blank for mommy? Will you put this in the trash for Mommy? Will you taste this for Mommy? He is only a baby. He still needs time with his mother. He is not getting it! He is in need of Mommy time. I had a closet that was for the "Family Chef" normally the youngest one or the sick one who needed more Mommy and Me time found it to be quite soothing while I was cooking or on the phone with bills or the doctor. . It had Tupperware and quiet plastic utensils in it. It was close to me but not under foot. They were only allowed to go to the cooking closet ( a dry sink cabinet that matched the dinning room set) while I prepared dinner. I have very happy memories and photos of each child as the Family Chef! Out each item came, discovery took place, nesting (measuring cups and spoons) with the items took place, and discovery was at hand, learning was happening. Because they were close I could make comments like,” Can you find the red spoon? Do you see the big pot? Can you hold up the little cup? I would also have wooded beads for them to put in and out of the pots to mimic cooking. All was right with the household when we had a Family Chef cooking with Mom. But there were time when their little minds had out grown Family Chef and they were too tired from their day to make it to dinner and they could not stay up. My children at this age COULD NOT MAKE IT TO DINNER TIME WITH OUT A 10-minute nap. I fought it for a long time fearing that they would not sleep through the night if I let them have a nap at 5 o’clock but I finally listened to their little bio clocks and would let them lay down quietly on my bed (a TREAT) with their blankey and I got peace for 10 minutes and they got the much needed rest that they were telling me about by fighting and fussing. It was SO simple. When I get home from a big day and I am tired I just want to lie down and unwind for 10 minutes! So do they!

I got to have some much needed quiet time before my husband hit the door after a long day at work and we had just a couple of minutes to be together. WHERE ARE THE KIDS? Napping. BEFORE DINNER? They just could not stay awake for dinner. But within 10-15 minutes they were back up and happy and ready for dinner. I cannot tell you how that one little change make such a big change in our evening routine.

BE A GREAT MOTHER!! LISTEN to your child, he is telling you with cries and temper tantrums and hunger WHAT HIS BODY NEEDS! It is a well know fact that most unruly children are one of 3 things
1.HUNGRY
2.TIRED
3 THIRSTY
Think about yourself the next time you hear your children whine. They have little bellies not your belly. Their bodies are running through their nourishment faster than your big body. Be a good mother and listen and react to their needs. As for your older sons, I would employ them with a FUN JAR. Inside this washed out decorated with stickers and drawings peanut butter jar are slips of paper with great activities that they can pull out on a rainy or too cold to go outside day. This jar becomes the jar of desire on a rainy day. It holds in it activities that will delight them for hours. They can only pull out an activity when they are well fed-not hungry and well rested-not worn and torn! Inside these jars are activities like
1. Go to library with Mom
2.Wash a load of clothes- they get the clothes together and get to pour in the soap and turn on the machine
3.Make a welcome home party for Dad
4.Have a race in the house to see who can fill up their box, laundry basket first with whatever clothes, toys, blankets, only blue items. (This works well with a dirty house) The winner gets to read a book with Mom
5.Put on a play about dragons and knights you can make a costume with a pillow case and a brown bag for a crown This can take hours and Dad get to relive the afternoon when he gets home.
6. Call a friend on the phone and talk like a big boy
7.Pick a movie and make popcorn and turn off the lights.
8.Visit a sister or mother with some cookies to say hello. The cookie making will be the best part of this activity.
9.Plant flowers-quickly as to not loose their attention
10. Visit a zoo, nursery, park, library, lake, or swing set
11 Put on rain coat and get an umbrella and play in the rain. Get your camera ready for that shot of the little one trying to drink the drops of rain from the umbrella. Play boats
and Damn by blocking up the gutter water and then placing a twig in the damn water only to lift your legs and let the river and boat flow down the gutter-this one can only be played in the spring time. Afterwards inside for a warm bath and hot chocolate! These are your children make their childhood one rich with memories! The laundry will be there tomorrow they will not!
11. Menu, Shop, and Cook was my children’s favorite
They decided what was for dinner, I wrote out their menus. They looked for a coupon, they drew their list, they got to lead the way to the correct items for their meal at the store, they go to mark off their list, they got to put their items in those little children grocery buggies (I think now they have racing car that are just a fun), they got to pay the lady, they got to carry their bag out to the car, and they got to "Cook" their meal. I well remember one time my six year old came back with her favorites Mac and Cheese, Chicken nuggets, red Jell-O with ice cream, and Sprite to drink! Well we had to exchange milk for Sprite and broccoli and dip the ice cream and we stayed with the 10-calorie Jell-O for desert. Each child had its favorite FUN JAR meal. And for the next 3 nights I had a Family Chef getting quality time with MOM and they were learning to cook, measure, plan, design, and have a conservation with me that did not include whining and complaining. To this day they all fondly recall their meal; Mac and Cheese, Tuna Maranella with peas, Spaghetti and Meatballs.
Being a mother should be rewarding. Yes, it is demanding and filled with worries but stop and think, "Today I get to be with the most wonderful person I know and I don't want to waste even a moment by yelling or moaning about being their mother. IF this were a job you would figure out how to make your clients happy from 3 till closing time. WELL these are your clients--listen and step up to the table and be the best mother that your children deserve. After all you know they are the best kids in the world for they have you as their MOM!!!
Good Luck
C.

it's very difficult when your children are on different schdules...i have 4 children myself...1 of the 4 is in preschool and another is in kindergarten...when the weather permits we go straight to the park after school as we live in an apt. and can't just send the boys off to play...living in the atlanta area allows the boys to go to the park quite often even in winter...when we have a stretch of cold days i might take them to an indoor mcdonald's to play or if i have a little extra money, i take them to one of the indoor jumping places...now to your problem...when the weather doesn't permit your older children to go outside, perhaps there is a game that they can play together? i'm sure even then there are times when you have to play the referee...my five year old will sometimes sit and read books while my 4 year old plays with toys and sometimes they play together but they tend to get a little rambunctious...with your situation i would say give the 16 month old some pots, pans, spoons, etc to play with in the kitchen since he/she wants to be at your feet anyway...let the boys watch a little tv or play some video games while you cook...i know that might not be the popular answer but it sure could give you some peace and only has to be for a little while while you prepare dinner and tend to the 16 month old...and this is only an alternative when they can't go out and play...

I do agree that a snack couldn't hurt... something light and healthy. Can they help you make dinner? The 16 mos. old might enjoy banging on pots and pans or playing with your plastic spoons. I have a five and six year old too (minus the 16 mos. old!) and I really have no trouble telling them "go play" and they generally do. They have to understand that they have to entertain themselves sometimes. If they depend on you to always come up with an activity, try just not doing that... I've read that "being bored" is not always a bad thing... eventually they will be forced to use their creative minds to think of something to do! Good luck.

Hi N.:

I can't really help with offering a schedule but I can make a suggestion to cut down on the cooking tension since it seems like a problem. When my children were little my shopping list included 15 meals. I would write out the menu for 15 meals and made sure I had all the ingredients for those 3 weeks worth of meals. I would post the list on the fridge and then choose a meal first thing in the morning or night before. Knowing what you are going to cook is half the battle. Then you can work on the meal through out the day and take some of the tension away during a time period when everyone wants your attention. As you shop you just replenish the ingredients for your already established menus.

Hope this helps a little.

They do need a snack as soon as they are picked up from school and the 5 year old who gets out at noon will probably need another snack around 3 p.m. when his brother is picked up at 2:30 p.m. The 16 month old definitely needs a snack. Just make sure the snacks are healthy and it shouldn't spoil their appetite for dinner. But they do need to eat. From noon or 1 and 2:30 p.m. to 5:30 is a pretty long time even most daycares give a mid-morning snack and an afternoon snack. This may cut down on the whinning if they have a snack.

Sorry I have no advice for the 16 month old to stay out of the kitchen perhaps someone else will have a suggestion.

Oh but I will say perhaps buying some activity books from the Dollar store or Walwart and tell them that it is their daily homework that they must do everyday while you cook will also keep them busy and they will be learning. Take the homework time seriously like grade it (look over it, put stickers on it, etc). They may like that too so they won't get bored so quickly.

the other women have given you some great and more detailed advice. I have only two words "Crock Pot".
Also, you will survive this, your kids will survive this. Cut yourself some slack, your doing the best you can. Keep going N..

Please check out www.flylady.com. Her site has a lot of great information on setting up easy to follow routines. There is a link to www.housefairy.com which is a website for children on routines and organization. Also, on her site there is a link for www.savingdinner.com which helps you plan menus and prepare make-ahead dinners for the freezer. Hope this helps !!!

Most kids are hungry when getting home from school. Usually the lower grades eat first which may be 10:30 - 11:30 in the morning. Prepare healthy snacks, ready when the 6 year old gets home. Apples, celery, carrot sticks with different dips. You can do a quickie pizza with the flat bread, canned spaghetti sause and grated cheese. Pop in microwave and in in just a minute you have a healthy snack. cut into small pieces. This quick snack at the table should eliminate the whining and trying to eat all the time. If you and the 16 month old sit with them it will become the routine way to eat. Use whatever fruits are in season. Make it a different one each day but always sitting at the table as that's where food is to be eaten. Mine loved cantaloupe, grapes, plums, peaches, pears. I always had them cut up into bite size pieces when they were young. A half cup of milk or other healthy beverage should round out the snack. There is still 3 hours before your dinner time and that's a very long time for children this young. V.

Hey N.,

Your life sounds like mine. I have a 5 year old (will be 6 in May), a 4 year old and a 2 year old. They are all going in 3 different school directions. They whine, beg for candy or snacks, and follow me around. I've tried several things and realize that when they snack, they won't eat their dinner. It's hard to put your foot down when they say their tummy is hurting from not eating. They really know how to pull on your heart strings. I just give in sometimes and give them fruit or carrot sticks (although they rarely choose carrots). I tell them that these are their choices. I'd rather them get full on carrots and fruit and not eat their dinner than other junk snacks. It doesn't always work, but it's worth a shot. Other times I tell them they have to clean their rooms and put away all their toys before they can have a snack. That usually deters them for a little while because they don't like cleaning. If you get any great ideas, I'd love to hear them.

I feel your pain! I have a first grader with tons of homework and books to read and it is nearly impossible to get that done with my 2 year old. She is high mantenance in the afternoon and I feel that I am cheating my 7 year old by not giving him my complete attention. I have a 5 year old as well and the best I can come up with is I try to have my 5 year old take the 2 year old into the playroom and play with her- read books, build, cook, etc. just to keep her away enough so that I can get through the homework process and maybe dinner. Sometimes he does this willingly, other times I have to beg. You could try having them color at the table or maybe putting out veggies and ranch dip. The coloring hasn't worked for me, but the veggies do if they are hungry. I look forward to reading all your responses in hopes there is something I can try also. Good Luck!

Hi N.,
Maybe you could put the 16 month old in the high chair while you cook and give a snack or toy to play with. Give your older children snack when they get home from school. Babies need snacks in between meals as well as older kids. I beleive that 6:30 is way to early for the baby to go to sleep. Also maybe cut the naps to maybe a 1-1 1/2 so the baby is still tired and will go to sleep much easier later on at night. We eat between 7-8 and sometimes I give my 23 month old snacks to hold him over until dinner. If he doesn't eat when we are ready I still put him in the high chair and have him join us for dinner. I keep his meal in case he gets hungry later on or keep it in the fridge for the next day meal. Play with your 16 month old one on one for awhile. before playing with your other children. My 23 month old was taking long naps and even though it was nice he threw his schedule off so we decided to wake him after 1-2 hours. I also made sure I give him a bath soon after dinner so that will whind him down and no tv 1/2 hour close to bedtime. It has been working for almost most nights. I do make sure I give him a bath every night at first I was doing every other and the nights he didn't get a bath he wouldn't fall asleep so easily.
I hope some of this helps good luck.

Hey N.! I can understand your dilemma. For a while, I had a 6 yr old, 5 yr old, 3 yr old, 2 yr old and 6 mos old...a schedule saved my sanity :-)

A couple of questions:

- does your 16 mos old take an afternoon nap? If not, I would consider it...it would make your afternoons much more pleasant & most kids need 2 naps a day until age 2.

- do you own a crock pot? If so, I would use this as often as possible. Southern Living has a great slow cooker cookbook that we use often. A crock pot will help you so much with the ever challenging dinner hour.

Here's my suggestion for a schedule:

- When you get home from picking up your 5 yr old from preschool, I would have about 30 minutes of play time, then put the 16 mos old down for a 1.5 hr nap/quiet time in his/her room.

Here's what your afternoon might look like. Feel free to tweak it however needed so it works for you:

12/1:00 - 1:30 = Play time for 5 & 16 mos
* Ideas: read books together, do puzzles, play with legos/blocks - interaction time with you.

1:30 - 3:00 = Naptime/quiet time for 16 mos old

1:30 - 2:30 = Quiet time in room for 5 year old

**1:30 - 2:30 is your time to catch up on laundry, clean up, prep for dinner, read a book, make a call, check email, etc.

2:30 - 3:00 = homework time

3:00 - 4:00 = outside play time for all 3. If weather is bad, this could be movie time, coloring time, workbook time, etc. Give your 16 mos old something that he can play with ONLY at this time - something he/she really loves that he knows once 4:00 comes, he can't play with it anymore. This will give you time to complete dinner prep and finish laundry.

4:00 - 5:00 = chore time for all children. I would give each child a job or two to be completed during this time. They should also help with setting the table, cleaning up their toys, etc. Even a 16 mos old can sweep a floor, help unload the dishwasher, put clothes in the dryer (all with your guidance), etc. It makes them feel important to have a job to do.

5:30 - 6:30 = Dinner time/clean up (all should help).

Then it's time to get ready for bed and proceed with your usual bedtime routine. This schedule allows for you to have some personal time to take care of your to do list, make a phone call, etc. It also teaches the children that they are an important part of the family and each has an important role in helping the family function well. I have used room time/quiet time with all of my children, & still do (they are 10,8,6,5,4 now) and it actually gives them some unwinding time from a busy day. Chores are great character builders and help children identify even more with their role in the family.

These are just suggestions. Take what works for you, leave the rest. I wish you the best!!

Warmly - J.

Hi N.,
I have a suggestion for the "baby-in-the-way-when-cooking" part of your question. First of all, can you put baby gates up in the doorways of the kitchen? That helped us tremendously. Of course, you have to be able to provide entertainment for them while they are not allowed in the kitchen but they get used to that pretty quick once they figure out that you are not going to give n to the whining. (hint, hint) You can try "Baby Einstein" DVDs, they like those. The other thing that we did that really helped was to put the baby in a high chair and let her watch me cooking from a short distance. She loved that. I would give her stuff to play with like small utensils. which she could use to beat on a small pan. You can try crayons and paper, give her different things to munch on like bread, pretzels, things you are cooking with. They like anything new to them. At least this way you have one of the kids "contained and content", as I like to say.
I am very impressed that you get your baby down by 6:30pm -- we have never achieved that yet! We're thrilled if we get ours down by 9:00pm and she's three now! Keep up the good work.

I feel your pain! I have an 11 month old who drives me crazy while I'm getting dinner ready. I have found that like someone else suggested, the crock pot has become my best friend. I use it 3-4 times a week, and cook enough for leftovers for the other nights. Check online for recipes-that's where most of mine come from. This helps me to prep the food in the morning or early afternoon before having to pick up my daughter from preschool. By the time we eat dinner - 5:30 also, it's ready and all I really have to "cook" is some vegetables and rolls. It really has made a difference for us! My little one goes to bed also at 6:30 and vary rarely have a hard time meeting this if we are eating at 5:30. I have found that giving my little one some pots & pans to bang on while I get dinner ready really helps also. Guess he feels like he's helping mommy! As for snack - I bring one in the car for my daughter when I pick her up from school. Once home I usually find a craft project for her to do or she can watch 30 minutes of TV. I hope this helps. It's so frustrating to play all the roles of mom, cook, entertainer, maid at the same time! Let us know what works for you.
P.

I think your idea of having a schedule is a good one. I think the schedule should be the same every weekday and should include play time with mommy. This could be a simple craft, a game or a walk, whatever the four of you enjoy. Earlier in the day, I would suggest that you prepare a snack for "cocktail hour" which you can serve to the kids while you are preparing dinner. Nothing elaborate...hummus and celery, cheese and crackers, whatever. Just something to keep them busy and fed. I would also suggest that you do all the dinner prep work when the two older ones are at school. This will make dinner preparation a snap in the evening. In my opinion, the two older children could help you with dinner preparation. Mine loved it when I made it a fun atmosphere for them. We would sing and laugh the whole time. It's also a great time to tell the kids stories you make up. You are cooking and telling the story and they will eat that up. :-) As for the 16 month old, can you put him in his high chair in the kitchen while you are cooking? Or if you do end up telling the kids stories while you cook, he could switch off days sitting in each of his brother's laps. In my experience, if the family is spending time together it will make all the difference. Left to their own devices, they will be fighting. Hope this helps, S.

I have found so much help from a website called Flylady.net
She offers routines and more for free. The purpose of the site is to sell their products, but I have never bought anything and do not feel pressure to do so.
They send out daily emails as reminders to keep you on track,etc. They also have a few other website friends they recommend like HouseFairy and more. I personally do not follow every step to the letter, but feel more in control of home and family when I at least do some :o) Hope this helps!

Ok, here's some suggestions;)
1st of all if the 16 month old has to stay in the kitchen with you try giving him/her a pot and a wooden spoon and show them how to play the drums!! My son loved it, and he also held on to my legs while I cooked. WHen that stopped working I resorted to putting him in the high chair and letting him watch mommy cook. I also gave him his sippy cup and a toy to keep him entertained and I that's how I taught him that the stove is "hot" and the food is "hot"....
If these ideas don't work have your 6 and 5 year old "entertain" your 16 month old. Tell them to cut on some music and dance around silly and try to get the baby to laugh. Or ask them to play with some of the 16 month old toys while you cook. This really helped me out too..
On Saturdays, if you can, look on different sites like Kraft Foods and Betty Crocker and get 30 minute meal ideas. Try to cook using a crock pot and let your main course cook all day, or cook your meats over night (say a roast or chicken) and keep it on 200. Don't start it until the very latest and make sure you have enough liquids to keep the bottom of the pan covered while you sleep.
My husband enjoys eating early too, sometimes as early as 4:30pm but by the time I get my son ready for bed he's starved so we almost always have a snack before bedtime...popcorn, pudding cup, yogurt, and sometimes a bowl of oatmeal, grits, or cereal...Hope these ideas help..
One more, can you use the time you have between 12pm-2:30 (before your other child gets home) to at least start prepping your meal? And if a family member is available, my mom is a HUGE help, maybe they can come over and keep the children, or at least the 16 month old entertained while you get a majority of your meal completed.

Just start writing down and making up your own schedule. As you write, ideas will come to you. Allot time for free play, art time, tv or video time, toy time, cleanup, board games, time with mommy, etc. It does work better and smoother with a schedule and you have to stick to it. Your 16 month old should be able to watch a video or play with toys while you cook. Find out what keeps he/she busy and save that activity for when you are cooking.

I had three children in a little over three years while my husband was in med school and residency and I struggled to find a routine that worked. The most frustrating thing was that I would find the "perfect" routine and then someone would get sick or their nap schedule would change or they'd go through a growth spurt and their eating habits would change.

One thing that helped was to give my older two a project to work on: Play-Doh (I know it's messy), Crayola Color Wonder stuff (not messy), scissors and paper, anything to keep them busy. I also started them on mini chore charts by ages 5 or 6. That kept them occupied since they couldn't watch TV or play any computer games until all chores were done. The chore chart included 30 minutes of exercise, so they had to find something active to do.

As far as snacking goes, my husband has always advised me to let the kids snack when they're hungry because their little stomachs tell them when to eat. Forcing our kids to eat 3 meals a day is actually training them to ignore those hungry and full feelings and just eat as much and as fast as possible when the food appears. What about offering a very small healthy snack to appease your little guy so you can cook without a crying toddler? Yogurt, half a granola bar, something that will fill him up a little and calm him down.

Then when he's happily in bed, you can dedicate 30 minutes to the bigger kids and play a game or read a book or build Legos or something.

I hope this helps. It's hard to be pulled in so many directions. Mine are a little older now, but the basic problems never change - not enough Mommy to go around!

It sounds like a 3pm snack would be great for all 3 boys!! Something light but healthy, fruit grain bar, granola bars, etc. Then they can do homework and chores. After that is done the older two can play outside while the little one plays inside. Give him some pots and pans to beat on in the kitchen while you are working on dinner or some Color wonder stuff for him to draw on (won't make a mess on anything!!). If the weather isn't nice enough for outside time, then the older boys can play with the little one. My daughter loves to play with her brother and those Playskool Tonka cars. Or they'll go in her room and dance to mucic. My daughter gets out of school and about the same time as your oldest and we have dinner between 5:30 and 6 so I know how hard it can be some times. If you kids do get a snack after 2:30, then you might want to pop the little guy in his chair and give him a few cherrios or something to munch while he waits for dinner. It will keep him happy and out of your way while you cook.

Good luck!!
~S.