hi C., this is a very tough issue. it really depends on the kind of person you are, only you and your husband know, and even then, its hard to know beforehand what you would do or how you would feel. i had the afp testing done with my first 2, and everything was fine, and i never had amnio. with my 3rd, i had the test done again, really just as a matter of routine, but then everything was not fine, i got bad results for downs. well, ill tell you that that was the day that everything changed. first of all, my husband and i had always felt that we would never get an amnio because we would never terminate a pregnancy. but sometimes, when having a baby that might have a disability is a real possibility rather than a hypothetical, it brings up very very difficult discussions between you. its very easy to say what you would do when it is not in your face. not so easy when the possibility is very real, and when you are almost 40 years old and have 2 other kids who would likely be caring for this child as adults. it turned out that my husband felt differently than he thought he did, but i knew i could never live with a termination. so you can imagine the horrible discussions that came of this, just a horrible thing to fight about, and this all while pregnant. in the end, he agreed that we wouldnt terminate regardless, which was really how he felt in his heart, but so scared. once that was settled, we then had to decide about the amnio. the termination issue isnt the only reason to have an amnio, there is a lot you can do to be prepared, medically and emotionally, for the baby to make things better for you, for the baby, and for your other kids. in the end, the small risk of the amnio was too much for us, we decided not to do it. so then comes the tough part.... the waiting. it mostly ruined the rest of my pregnancy, the not knowing and the worrying and the what-ifs for the rest of our lives. these test results dont tell you anything about anything. they are a statistical result. and if it is correct, you have no way of knowing if your child will be mild or profound, or anything in between. these have very different impacts on your lives, as you would imagine, and there is no way to know, even from the amnio. my husband and i have both worked with kids with downs, and some of them were the most wonderful, happy kids you ever want to meet, and some of them struggled and suffered every day. so it changes your life in different ways, and as they grow up. i know you know all this, sorry, this just brings me back to all my constant thoughts back then.... what you can do if you go to a sonogram place with the best equipment, is have them do a .....hmmmmm, i dont remember what they called it, but it was a very detailed sonogram where they look for markers of downs, there are physical characteristics that are typical of downs that they can look for. but again, just because they dont see them doesnt mean the baby doesnt have downs. SO in the end, i was a nervous wreck for the rest of my pregnancy, which is very very sad because i love love love and treasure being pregnant, and that was my last. when my baby was delivered, it was my first thought. also very sad, i couldnt stop asking the nurses if he is ok. and guess what, he is just fine, thank G-d. even at our first few doctors appts, i was asking the docs if they are sure he is ok, etc. so, i am now looking at my beauful boy, so thankful every day. but i feel bad because i almost feel like my last pregnancy was taken from me. and, being a google freak, i spent countless hours online during my pregnancy, talking with soooooo many women that had false positives. i even ended up speaking to a doctor turned researcher who went through the same thing and now is developing a bloodtest to determine downs with the same accuracy as an amnio, but no risk. its not available yet, at least it wasnt last year, but maybe look into it? so, after telling you my whole long story, i will also tell you that my sister got lousy results from the afp for both of her pregnancies. she simply said she knew eveything was fine and walked away. and everything was fine, she has 2 healthy kids. so that's why i say it depends on the kind of person you are. she was able to do that, i couldnt.
whatever you decide, i wish you all the best, and i hope you enjoy your pregnancy.