Advice on Weaning 14 Month Old

I breastfed my second child until she was 18 months old. That was not necessarily my choice from 12 months on , but she would not take a cup or bottle. I slowly weaned away a feeding each week, leaving the bedtime for last. She did not always eat or drink enough either, but this improved each week. The bedtime feeding was the hardest, but she did learn to take the pacifier. I learned it wasn't so much the milk she wanted as it was the closeness. Daddy had to start putting her to bed. A sleepover at grandma's might do the trick. If mommy is nowhere to be found then babies don't think about what it is they are missing. As hard as it is, you do have to have will power and stick to it. I found the daytime feedings were the easiest to wean. Good luck!

Well if you can't wean and become pregnant first you milk will change. He will probably just decide it isn't what he wants anymore. When my son stopped breast feeding I started with one bottle a day and it was 3/4 breast milk and the rest whole milk. I would heat it for him and eventually just work in more bottles. Once he was used to the bottle It was easy to gradually change the milk and add more whole milk slowly. A few days at half and half anf then less and less breast milk with a few days in between changes. Good luck to you.

Have you resumed your cycles yet, while he is nursing?
If you have, you can still become pregnant, and gradually wean him during the pregnancy (though you will be sore!). You can also tandem nurse, if that is something that interests you. Just make sure the newborn's needs come first, and it should be fine...by the time baby comes, he may be done anyway. Be careful with your calories if you are pregnant and nursing-- make sure you eat and drink enough!

Or...try weaning him very gradually. If there are times he nurses but can be distracted, do that. Don't offer it if he doesn't ask, and try to distract and feed him other foods and drinks as much as possible. The last feedings to go are usually night and AM feedings, and those may be manageable for a while as he gets used to doing without during the day. If you cut him off cold turkey, you will have some behavior problems, I'm sure. Try to be kind and cuddle a lot, but also encourage dad to get involved and take him for play, etc. to help out the process.

He is still very little so this may be hard for him. Good luck in whatever you choose to do!! You may want to consider finding your local La Leche League for advice as well.

Add me to the scores of women who have gotten pregnant while breastfeeding - twice. In fact, in a few weeks I will have been nursing for 6 years straight, no breaks. It can be done, it does have it's challenges, but for our family, it was well worth it.

Best of luck to you!

Hello,
I want to say that I know exactly how you feel and where you are at right now because I am experiencing the same thing. I have mixed feelings about it because i think that if he is still very attached to nursing then he obviously needs it and why would i want to take away his comfort because it really causes no harm. However my son is almost two and I really am exhausted and he still shows no sign of wanting to give it up. We share beds as well and since i have been sick this past week my husband made him sleep without me one night and he screamed all night long. I really think that it is healthy for him but at the same time unhealthy because he is too dependant on it. I too have been trying to conceive and I have had periods for over 6mo but have not conceived and i believe that it is becasue i am still nursing. I called my lactation consultant and she advised me to let him see me pump my milk into a sippy cup and give him that instead of nursing and then slowly start mixing it with regular milk. I havnt tried it b/c I just called last week and i have been down with the flu all of this week but if it works i will let you know! Good luck and if something works for you please let me know!!

I am a breastfeeding counselor. If you don't want to wean right now then don't. Unless there is a health risk to you it's perfectly ok to nurse your baby & still get pregnant. Sometimes the older child will wean on their own due to the change in your milk. If they don't, that's ok too. Discuss this with a pro breastfeeding ob doctor just to make sure you are getting everything you need to sustain the new pregnancy.

You are to be commended for your choice to nurse and I'm sure it has caused that close bond with your little one that is hard for both of you to give up. I nursed my first child until she was 10 months and she just decided one day that she was done. I wasn't ready to quit but she was and it was over. But when I had my son,after which my tubes were tied, and I knew he was the last one,he never wanted to quit. I nursed him until he was 2 1/2. I gradually cut down on the feedings and he accepted that pretty well until he was just nursing at naptime and bedtime. The difficult part is when they ask you for it and you hate to say no so you give in. In your case, perhaps if you could cut back so that you only nurse at bedtime and through the night so your husband can get his sleep. Eventually your child will get used to that and you can eliminate them all gradually. Good luck!

I weened my second daughter at 15 months. She was still waking up to eat during the night, too. Honestly, I think it was only successful b/c I was 4 months pregnant and my supply was dwindling. So, I had an easy out ;)
Hopefully you guys will conceive while still breast feeding and then you won't be so pressured :)
Good Luck!

C.,
Weaning is a very gradual process. I too am nursing a 14 month old right now! I nursed my first son to 19 1/2 months and my second to 22 1/2 months. It's pretty easy to wean when it's child led.

Usually as the child starts walking and getting interested in other things he/she will nurse less. And yet sometimes he will nurse more frequently because he feels insecure. It's the whole toddler thing of wanting independence but being afraid of it. And so he will come to you for comfort.

Some things that might help you along are to distract him when he wants to nurse. I'm sure you've read of not sitting in the chair where you ususally nurse him. Have you tried substituting bottles for a feeding? If you are really wanting to wean you could have your husband feed him before bed and during the night.

I know that I typically nurse more when we are at home. If that is you too, try going out every day for several days to distract him.

In the morning, try changing your routine. Instead of bringing him to bed with you, get up with him and feed him breakfast.

Weaning is a GRADUAL process. I would pick the easiest feedings to get rid of first. Probably the daytime feedings first. Then get rid of his least favorite next.

I understand that you want to get pregnant, maybe just cutting down to 2 feedings will help your hormones get back to normal. I'm not lucky like you....I've been dealing with AF since my daughter was 5 months.

Good luck...I hope that I have been somewhat helpful. Like I said....weaning was easy for me.....it was gradual...and eventually they both gave up that morning feeding (our favorite). It's emotional, so take it slowly!

Good luck on getting preganant too!

-S.
Mom of 2 boys (7 & 4)
and of 1 girl (almost 15 mos.)

Good for you in keeping with the breastfeeding!

I have a son who is 3.5 and a daughter who is 14mo. I also have a similar parenting style--attachment parenting, co-sleeping, extended breastfeding, no "cry it out", etc--so I get where you are coming from about not wanting to deny your son nursing. I know my daughter isn't ready for that yet and neither am I. A little background into where I'm coming from--My son and daughter were both excusively breastfed. My son wouldn't take solids at all till his 1st birthday and even then not too much, so I understand where you are coming from there. I always felt so much better knowing that he was still getting the good milk that he needed, even if he wasn't eating much in the way of solids. He nursed whenever he wanted during the day and still woke to nurse during the night until he turned 2. I also was worried about not being able to get pregnant again when I wanted to, but my period returned at 18mo, even with he son still nursing extensively. I got prengant when my son was 21mo and he continued to nurse until he was 2.5, stopping a couple ofweeks before his sister was born. He completely self-weaned (I did nothing to encourage it because of a lack of milk toward the end of my pregnancy. My daughter is now 14mo and still nursing up a storm, including 2-4 times during the night.

I'm assuming that, since you're interested in weaning specifically to get pregnant, that your period hasn't started again. However, you will probably find that, even if you keep nursing unrestricted, your period is right around the corner. The average for the vast majority of women is 12-18mo of no fertility even with unrestricted nursing. So you can keep nursing and still get your period back, most likely soon. And, once your period does return and you get pregnant, nursing while you are pregnant is fine. (It can be uncomfortable for some women, but not unmanagably so.) Many women who do this also go on to "tandem nurse" (nurse both a toddler and a baby)

If your period has returned already, there is no reason you can't get pregnant while continuing to nurse.

If you do find that you do want to do some weaning to force the return of your period, you may want to try just night weaning. The return of your period is tied into how long you go without nursing at a stretch, so most women find that they are able to force the return of their periods just by night-weaning (not nursing during the night) and still are able to continue to nurse all day. If you are also interested in day weaning, the kindest way to do it is to eliminate one nursing at a time, eliminating a new nursing each week or so, so that you are gradually cutting down. Start with the nursings that your son is least attached to and save the ones that he is most attached to (bedtime for most kids) as the last ones to cut out. You can also try shortening the length of nursing sessions (letting him nurse for 5min, rather than 15min, etc--though most toddlers nurse for short bursts anyway!) If you do decided to wean him before he initiates it, be sure that you give him lots of extra cuddles and loves so that he doesn't miss out on the emotional part of your relationship that he fulfills through nursing as well as the actual milk. And remember, if you start weaning and then decide it's not working for you and your son, you can always start letting him nurse more again.

I know this is a tough decision to make, but you sound like a wonderful, compassionate mom who is very in tune with your son's needs, so I'm sure that, whatever you decide, you will make sure that your son's needs are fulfilled, in one way or another!

Only you know what's right for your family, but I would keep nursing. Lot's of people get pregnant while nursing. I took the weaning process very slowly (like a year). I just eliminated one feeding at a time very gradually, until we were down to one feeding right before bed. My periods returned long before we quit completely. I share your philosophy about co-sleeping, bonding, etc. They grow up so fast - just take your time - you'll be glad you did!! :)

Is the problem that you haven't gotten your period and can't get pregnant? If you have your period, you can get pregnant any time and continue to breastfeed without forced weaning (it's much easier if it's up to him).
I'm 36 weeks and still nursing my 16-month old. Feel free to PM me with questions about tandem nursing.
Good Luck!

If you don't do this, it is only going to get harder. You will have to be tough. It is easier to just go ahead and breastfeed when you are tired, so have a plan. Have everything ready for the middle of the night. He doesn't really need to eat in the middle of the night at that age, it is a habit. It is soothing and comforting to him. Maybe tackling the daytime feedings first would be easier. Keep on hand all his favorites as well as new things so that his palette is opened up to new options. Try to occupy him with an activity instead of feeding. If he stays full and busy, he will start to forget about the breast. Also, find other things to comfort him. A special stuffed animal, blanket or something soft of yours for him to cuddle in when he is tired. I think you are definitely wise to end this before having another baby. I know several people who did not and wound up with 2 4 or 5 year olds still at the breast. I am an advocate of breastfeeding, but that is rediculous. Can you imagine the shame you would feel as a teen or adult if you could still remember breastfeeding?

Bravo to you and your husband for your fostering- that is terrific. I breastfed all 3 of my children until around 14 months as well. That is still so little, it is hard to try to break a child from something that provides him such comfort. I would attempt cutting out 1 feeding during the day. Make it one that is not "essential". You and he could then have a drink from matching cups. It will probably be a slow process but be patient!!! If it's any consolation- I got pregnant while nursing.

Good luck to you and your husband!!!!

I would continue to try to feed him other things. I have asked the doctor about certain things for my son as well. The doctors told me it takes alot of tring to get your child used to eating and drinking regular. I would continue to do what you are doing. I would encourage you to keep on tring with the regular milk and food.

I just wanted to encourage you to do what is right for you and your son. I intended to nurse my son until he was 18 months old but started to reduce the nursing from 6x during the day to 3 to 4 times. It took us about 6 weeks to do that. Once we were at 3 to 4 times during the day, my son kinda lost interest in nursing during the day - he was 11 months old. I'm not sure why. He continued to nurse in the evening and during the night for a little while and then he stopped that too. It was harder on me than it was on him. On your question about not being able to become pregnant while breastfeeding... my OB/GYN told me that even while breastfeeding, a woman can still become pregnant. In fact, I know a lady who breastfed her 11 months old son and didn't know that she was 15 weeks pregnant b/c she and her husband thought that breastfeeding worked as a natural contraception. Not so. Anyway, enjoy your time with your baby. If you have questions about nursing and becoming pregnant again, you can also call the lactation nurses at Mount Carmel East. They are a wonderful resource.

You don't need to wean your 14 month old in order to get pregnant. I nursed my daughter through pregnancy and now nurse both of my children. Once your baby goes about 6 hours between at least one set of nursings per day your fertility is likely to return. One good book to read is The Adventures of Tandem Nursing by Hillary Flowers. I don't know if you are near Columbus, but if so there is a Tandem and Toddlers La Leche League group that meets once a month. Good luck!

I never thought my son would wean either! He really didn't eat or drink anything else until I consciously started cutting down. Like yourself, I was only weaning because I wanted to have another baby though he was 17 mos. at the time.
Try weaning him very gradually, by cutting out your least favorite or least convenient feedings during the day. OR make the big decision to night wean first and let him nurse more freely during the day while you accomplish the night weaning.
It's SO HARD! Just remember it is a necessary transition and not a harmful one.
Try being very experimental with the foods in his diet to find table foods that he can be excited about. Having some new playthings around doesn't hurt either- distraction is very effective for the male child ;-)

if it were me i would wait a little while to get pregnant. and just take away one feeding at a time. i think kids eventually quit doing the "baby things" when they are ready and if he is really upset about it . he might not just be ready. i think you do them more harm then good pushing. but that is just my experience. i have learned that sometimes are kids throw a kink in my best layed plans. and you will be les stressed worring about getting him off in time for the new one.

C., My daughter was breast fed also until about 14 months, and she loved it! It wasn't easy but have a drink in whatever cup you choose and have your son sit next to you in a comfortable place and hold him while you read a book together. Breast feed him only the time of day that is the most difficult like at bedtime, wean him from the other times distracting him with other activities but remain close to him, hold him. Reassure him he is getting to be a big boy now but he can sit next to you. I think my daughter loved the hold time and in about a week she was accustomed to once a day, then in the 2nd week when she would come and sleep with me and want to nurse, I would have a sippy cup of water by my bed and give her a drink and then say "It's only snuggle time with mommy now" I hope this helps--Kim

I think you will have an easier time weaning him if you wait until after he is age 2, which is what is recommended by the World Health Organization (nursing a minimum of 2 years). I am currently nursing my 23 month old and am pregnant. Many women are able to nurse while pregnant, but I have to admit that it makes things much harder. I've been pretty exhausted. Maybe you can just wait a little longer to conceive.

I got pregnant while nursing and continued to nurse. There is nothing wrong with letting your child wean himself if that is what you want to do. You shouldn't wean a baby before one year old - even the medical professionals would agree with that one. That does not mean you HAVE to breastfeed for a full year, but it is to the benefit of the baby and the mother.

Hi C.,
if you are ovulating you don't need to wean in order to get pregnant. I have gotten pregnant many times while nursing a baby. Usually about 15 months or so. If you haven't started your periods yet it may be your bodies way of taking a bit more time to heal. I know that may not be what you want to hear but unless you are over 35, it would be ok to wait a bit. I have had 3 children after 35 and they are all fine. The last was born when I was 41. good luck.

Hi C.,

First I need to be honest, I have an 18 month old boobaholic.... I too want to quit nursing but since my mother is in hospice I don't want to add the stress to myself and to my son.

That said, it is my believe that it is more fair for the child to quit cold-turkey. That way he won't get confused when the buffet is open sometimes and closed other times. I know not everybody agrees with this but it will be hard for your son for a couple days and then he realizes that it is over. If you decide to quit cold turkey he is going to need a lot of reassurance that it is not something he did.
For you, from experience I can tell you that cabbage leaves really work to reduce the discomfort AND the milk production.

Whatever you decide, good luck! It sounds like you have a VERY busy life!

C.,
I am a 47 year old farmwife and mother of 4 adult children. I too weaned all my babies late. Our first (a girl)I weaned at 14 mo., and the last of 4 at 17 mo. If it is possible for you to hold off on getting pregnant for a little longer, I think that as he ages and he gets more interested in his surroundings he will eventually lose interest. At least that is the way it was for my children. And the last 2 were boys. Little boys are so different from little girls as they are interested in anything with wheels. Try to find age appropriate cars, tractors, or trucks that just might draw his interest to where he is not just thinking of the nursing, and if possible do away with 1 feeding at a time substituting a sippy cup with a juice he likes.
C.

I don't have any advice on weaning because my kids did it themselves, but I will say I have a friend who just had a baby and is still breastfeeding her 2 1/2 year old. Her older child doesn't bf that much, just a couple times a day, but she BF's her all through her pregnancy and still is bfing 2 children. She also has a full-time job and it seems to be working.

Gosh, with all that you have going on and your little one being only 14 months old, you really want to get pregnant again? Sounds like your plate is already too full....I can't imagine wanting to add another child to the mix. But to each his own, I guess. I'm sure you're fully aware of what you're getting yourself into. I don't really have any advice on weaning....mine just quit when they were ready, I didn't try to force them to give up on something so valuable to their ongoing health and personal comfort. Maybe your son is inadvertently keeping you from weaning/getting pregnant for a reason?

I nursed my daughter until she was almost 18 months. I slowly cut her down to bed, when ever she woke up in the middle of the night and firsthing in the morning( before i went to work). I think it did help that she went to daycare, she would drink milk for them. When she was 17 months old I found out I was pregnant. I was so sick my firs pregnance I thought it would be best to stop before I started feeling sick again. The first couple of nights were not as hard as I expected them to be. I put her favorite TV show on (dora) to distract her from the fact that she was drinking from a cup and not nursing. The first night or two she woke up for a few min. than fell back to sleep faster than I expected. After the first couple of nights She started sleeping through the night. I am now 12 weeks along and she sleeps through the night every night. I am now wondering why I didn't stop the night feeding earlier. My daughter also shares a room with my husband and I.