Advice on Toddler Biting

Hi W., I also had a biter child. He was thrown out of daycare for biting so much. I moved him into a home care situation where he was the only full time child being watched. He got all of the attention, and biting was never an issue again with other kids. He still bit me once in a while on the shoulder, but soon grew out of that. He was a slow talker, and apparently they just are not able to communicate what they are feeling and bite. I also wanted to mention that I NEVER think it is a good idea to "bite back". I know of a dad that did just that, broke through the skin of his child, it beacme infected, and the doctor called children and youth. Not a smart move.

I do the same thing you do (tap the mouth) when my daughter bites. She is 2 yo. She doesn't do it as much as she used to but that is her preferred form of defense against her brother when he takes things from her. Have you asked the staff if they know what leads up to the biting - someone pushing her or taking toys from her, or maybe when she is tired before naptime, for example? That might help you figure out what other approaches to take.

I had a problem with my son biting and a friend suggested having him bite soap right after he bit someone. It worked great! He only had to do it twice, (the initial time and one other to test me and see if Iwould do it again) befroe he stopped.

Good luck!

I am so glad to know I am not the only one going through this! My son is 20 mos old and since May, there have been 10 biting incidents at his daycare. He was bitten twice and bit others 8 times. This is a source of great anxiety to me. He bit me once, I tapped him on the mouth, said NO and he never did it again...so this seems to be a daycare issue. We do know most of the time, it's a territorial/possession issue, but we are at a loss as to how to stop a behavior we aren't around to witness. We are trying some things, like putting him to bed earlier, etc., and will see what happens. Everyone keeps telling me this is a phase and he will eventually grow out of it. I hope so! Good luck, Steph

At the risk of stirring a hornet's nest... I had 3 out of 4 children who bit. The first I tapped his mouth and said no bite and it worked. The other 2 I tried everything, but nothing worked. Finally I bit back. For my daughter it only took one time. My youngest son, it took a couple of times, but he got the point quickly. When they would get ready to bite I would ask them what happens if they bite and they knew that they would get bit back and they would not bite. My son would bite his brother daily for absolutely no reason at all. He would walk up to him and bite him, so hard that he would leave tooth shaped bruises and drew blood a couple of times. When my daughter came along and started biting, I put an end to it right away.

My son is 22 months old and he just recently stopped biting. It started when he was 17 months old. At first he only bit when he was upset and didn't get his way, but then he thought it was funny when he heard the other person yell in pain. We tried talking to him but he would just look at us and smile. Finally I resorted to tapping him on the mouth and sitting him in his highchair. He finally became tired of being punished all the time and stopped. He still does it on occasion, but a mean look from me and he thinks twice.

Hi W., I think if you can figure out when she is doing this it may help you. Being that she still is at that age where she does not have communication skills I would guess that her action of biting is being used instead of the spoken word. I would ask the day care what is occuring in her environment when this occurs. Is a toy being taken from her? Could she just be tired? Alot of children will exhibit undesirable behaviors when there is too much stimulaion for them. Maybe she really just wants a little quiet time. The one thing I can promise you is it will not last forever. Good Luck

Hi W.,
Biting back is never the answer. My son bit me and got a reaction. When I yelled ouch he laughed and then he thought it was a game.
In a stern voice I said" no biting" and immediately put him down away from me. I did this every time he bit and eventually he got the idea and stopped.

I would be concerned if my child was returning from day care bitten often by other kids or being reported for biting. I'm wondering if there is enough supervision?

I would ask the day care provider what her response is when these kids bite. How do THEY handle it? If they make a big deal ouyt of it then she is being rewarded with attentioon for the behavior.

You'll get some good information as to how to proceed from there.
Be consistent and firm.
Blessings!
Justine