Advice on Surrogate Mothers

I have thought about being a surrogate or donating eggs as well. I have had several friends that have been unable to have a child, who want at least one of their own. I want to have one more child of my own first, but I have definitely considered it after I am done. You really have to pray about what is right for you and do what feels right. I agree with all the other women (really I read your responses to see what advice people offered you) that there are a LOT of things that need to be considered by both you and your husband. Good luck with the decision. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your thinking!!

What reason would you have to do that? Because you have a sister or someone who is unable to have children? Or be a surrogate to someone you don't know for other reasons? I think that it is possible it could wruin your life. Doesn;t that sound dramatic? But you already have 2 perfect kids and a good relationship. Imagiane the wierdness of your husband and children watching yoour pregnant belly grow, and trying to explain it to the kids. Plus going home with post pardom depression which I am sure would be greater than usual considering the massive emotional drain you would feel handing that baby over. Could you really do it? I would say don't do it, unless you are really motivated because it is for someone you love very deeply. I would not do it, for anyone.

Wow. A surrogate mom, a topic not often discussed...openly.. I don't know too much about it..I would just make sure that emotionally it wouldn't hurt you in the end. Could you carry this baby and bond while "little one' was "incubating" and then say goodbye? You never want to intentionally enter into a situation that would cause you to lose a piece, even a snall piece of YOU. If you are happy and feel like you are on top of the world, emotionally do you think this would damage that? If you feel like there wouldn't be too much emotinal trauma..GO FOR IT! I am sure this didn't help tremendously but hopefully gave you a little more to chew on. Good luck.. Pray (if you believe in that...I do and so I will)

To be able to give the blessing of a child to a couple is a beautifull thing to do. I have thought about myself but I wasn't sure that I would be able to carry a baby and part with it even though it wasn't mine. I have thought about donating eggs but again I couldn't because I felt weird that there would be kids out there with my dna and they weren't mine. But I support any woman who can be a surrogate, I my life has been blessed by my children so I understand why you would want to be a surrogate.

I'm against it. For one thing, there are a lot of kids that need homes, why shouldn't someone that cannot have children themselves adopt a child that is already here on this earth. Don't these kids deserve a chance.
Another reason I am against it, is because there always seems to be problems arising. You get attached to the child growing inside you, you wouldn't want to just give it away. It would be inhuman. There are a lot of emotions and feelings involved.
It's not fair to the children either, yours, nor the one that would come out of this. A child deserves to know, and be with, it's real family.
It's also a pretty weird situation for your husband to deal with you having another mans baby growing inside of you. Once you go through with it there is no turning back. This could ruin your perfect marriage, and family. You should not risk the happiness you have with your family.
It's nice that you want to share the happiness you have, but this is not a good healthy way to do it. There are all kinds of ways to help make this a better, happier world. Get involved with
existing families in your community to see how you can help. Get involved with organizations that help. Don't back yourself into a corner with something you may regret later. This isn't a productive way to go. Donate your extra time, and get your kids involved in some charitable work that helps people out in a good way. Maybe you should check out your local orphanage and see what you can do to help.
If you know someone that is in dire need to have a child of their own, direct them to an adoption center or orphanage. Here is a link for you to browse. http://www.orphanage.org/ There are so many children in need of a loving home.

That is very nice of you just make sure even though it is not your you will be able to give it to the parents without emotional problem. You could become very attached in 10 months of caring that baby. You have a family to care for and probably don't need that added stress in the end.

HI, I think it is a wonderful thing. My husband and I adopted our son, and I think that if you feel like this is something you need to do then do it. Life is a WONDERFUL gift and being on the other end of the stick, and not being able to conceive I couldn't thank my sons birthmother more for what she gave our family. He is a true blessing and you don't know how much happiness you can give to some one. :)

i guess your husband is right its up to yu if you feel like you can do it then do it

Being a surrogate would be amazing. It's not something I would do because I did not enjoy being pregnant. I just wanted to say to make sure you have considered everything. The possibility of multiples, and bedrest (not being able to work or care for your own children), and all the emotional attachments you will have from growing a baby inside you for 9 months, and then giving it to someone else to possibly never see again. You definately need more input from your husband because it's going to affect him as well. Especially when you can't have sex because you are going to be implanted with someone else's embryo, or when you are so big and pregnant that you can't have sex, and after you have delivered. It may not seem like a big deal to us, but we all know how men feel about sex, and not having it! I hope you can work it all out, and do what is best for your family.

First get your husband to sit and talk more about it. No mans' final answer is "it's up to you" After 6 yrs. you should know that. Ask him how he would feel seeing you pregnant with someone elses child. How will you explain it to the other two children. All the pros and cons of being a surrogate mother. The desision IS yours to make in the end. But it has to be a choice you can life with for more than nine months. Also, would you have visits with the child after? or will you just never see him/her again. There are also the possibility of a multipule birth. Are you up for bed rest if you are pregnant with 4 or 5 babies? I am not trying to talk you out of this at all. I would love to be one also. Child birth is very easy for me and I too love helping people. I wanted to donate eggs, but the closest clinic for it is almost 6 hrs away. Do what is best for your family first. Good luck.