Advice on Newborns & Toddler Sleeping Arrangements for Small Spaces?

Will the crib or a pack and play fit in the living room? That way you can keep her in a crib like atmosphere for the time being. You can get pack and plays at second hand stores or on craig's list for good prices and they don't take up as much space as a crib. Maybe Dad will sleep better too since he won't be sharing a bed. Good luck!

When I was pregnant with my son we transitioned our daughter to a toddler bed. She was about 20mo also. We kept her in our room on my side of the bed because I didn't want her to feel like she was being replaced. When she would wake up, I would just reach out to her and she'd fall asleep. When the baby was born his crying never woke her up. He has always slept with us.

It might be fun to take her to pick out a toddler bed and bedding. Tell her she is a big girl now. Or you can buy a mini crib for the new baby. You can take off one side and push it up against your bed. Then when you need to nurse him you can pull him next to you without having to get up. The other nice thing about a mini crib is it converts to a twin size bed later.

Good luck and congratulations!

hi S.-
if your parents who are willing to help are willing to sleep in the living room on the sofas or blow up mattress, let them! i would say keep your daughter in her room- for consistancy- and you, hubby and infant in your room-- if your daughter wakes up attend to her in her room- and keep putting her back to bed in her bed.... the only way to get her to sleep in her bed is with consistancy--

Have you considered a basinet for the newborn? I kept my newborn in a basinet in my bedroom until he was ready to sleep in the crib. This way we all sleep and the baby is still used to sleeping in his/her own space. The toddler can continue to sleep in the crib with your parents on the murphy bed.

Hello and congratulations on the new baby coming. This is what I would do. Keep your daughter in her own room in her crib. Routine is very important for children. It will be just harder for you later on to take her out and to try to put her back in. You and your husband should stay in your bedroom and get one of those small pack and play bassinets and keep it on your side of the bed. You will already be getting very little sleep as it is. So why be uncomfortable too? Your parents are there to help and I'm sure they will be ok in the living room (unless they are elderly). Get one of those aero beds they are really very comfy. Just keep in mind that you guys are they to stay and why make it harder for yourself rearranging everything and everyone. Hope this helps. Good luck and again congrats!!!

Thanks for your question! I am pretty much in your same situation except it's my inlaws coming and my husband is deployed. You're lucky that it's YOUR parents. Your husband might be uncomfortable "making" them sleep in the living room but you can tell them what you want because they are YOUR parents! I agree with most of the other people so far though, you should keep your daughter in her room and put your parents in the living room. They are there to help YOU and make this a good experience for YOU. Your parents OFFERED to sleep on the air mattress. Take them up on that offer. And until you have your baby, get as much sleep as you can! That's what I'm trying to do! Good luck!

Sounds like three to a room is a possible solution. Toddler and grandparents together (your parents will be well rested to help with the toddler the following day).Your husband, newborn, and yourself sleep together.I'm sure your hubby will get his sleep (especially since you are breast feeding).Just make sure you get your rest while the newborn is sleeping.

I Think that the latter Idea is great. Keep the toddler in her crib, and roll it into your room, that way it would not completely undo her new improved sleeping habits. Also Daddy and the new baby boy can both sleep with you. The Grandparents can stay in the guest room and be more comfy. I went thru the same thing when I had my child. Good Luck!

I just went through this in November. Try to keep her in her crib, in her room (trying to start sleep patterns over is really hard). Right now our baby is in our room and our toddler is in his room. As for guests, we too have a small house and my mom sleeps in the living room. She doesn't mind being woke up when shes there because she is there to help. As I am sure your parents want to help too. P.S. also we use a small fan (I call it my miracle worker)using a small fan in the toddlers room for some white noise will really help especially if you have to move her in the living room. Happy Baby Days

Since you just got your daughter sleeping well in her crib, I vote for not moving her at all. Keep her in her crib, in her own room and work everyone else around that. With a newborn on the way, you don't want to undo all of your hard work!

Will an air mattress fit on the floor next to the crib? If so, put your parents on that and you and your husband can stay in your room with the new baby. This leaves the living room free in case someone needs to be up with the baby.

If an air mattress won't fit on the floor in your daughter's room, put it on the living room floor for your husband, you take the couch (because you will be recovering from surgery) and give your parents your bedroom. Not the most convenient arrangement, I know, but it will only be for a short while.

But whatever you choose to do, I would strongly recommend not changing your daughter's sleep routine. You will have enough to deal with when the new baby comes. You don't need to climb that mountain again!

GOOD LUCK!!!

Hi,

I have two babies, one 20 months old, the other 5 months old, both born by c-section. My husband and I live in a two-bedroom apartment. My husband, a musician, uses a whole (small) bedroom as a studio, so all the beds, cribs, etc. have to go in the other bedroom. (Currently, we have a bed, crib and Graco Pack n Play bassinet in play pen in our master bedroom.) We often sleep at in-laws' houses on/in futons, beds, cribs, playpens and bassinets. Sometimes the kids sleep in the adults' room; sometimes they don't. The kids don't seem to have trouble sleeping on/in any of the aforementioned. I wouldn't fret about the sleeping arrangement as long as everyone is safe and you get enough sleep to operate effectively and stay healthy.

Good luck,
Lynne E

If you have a large closet or two bathrooms, I would recommend putting the crib in one of these spaces while your parents are with you. I know it seems like a strange place to keep a child, but as long as you make it a comfortable space (i.e., night light, cozy bedding, etc.) it could work (I have a friend who converted her large walk in closet to a part-time nursery and it worked really well for her).

Hi there,
My son was 26 months old when my daughter was born. We didn't want my son to feel that her sudden appearance isolated him into his own room, so we put his bed in our room, right up next to our bed, to create a giant bed (king sz + a twin)a few months previous to her birth. His bed was decorated with Thomas the Train sheets, so he knew it was his, yet he was still with us. Then, a few months later, we moved it into his own room, explained that his bed is in his very own room, with all of his toys, and it took him about a week, and then he decided he wanted to sleep in his room. Of course, he still ends up in our bed sometime in the night for now, but that was our solution. Our daughter sleeps against the wall, then me, then my son in the middle part of the night, which was always his spot, and then daddy on the end. We just felt like having a sibling was a really big change, and we needed to be patient with our eldest. Of course, every family is different, and every child is different. This is just what we did.

Hi, S..

We were really smashed in for a while, too. I think, like the other moms have said, that you need to keep the 20 month old right there in the crib. Use white noise to muffle the sounds of New Baby crying so 20 month old can stay asleep. Earplugs and white noise will also help Dad sleep through and still remain in his own room.

(If you can't afford a white noise machine (we sure couldn't) get an atmospheric CD of rain or the ocean and play it at night to blend the sounds she hears. At one point, (I kid you not) I even tuned the radio to soft static. Worked fine. Even with 3 kids in one room, all under 4.)

Don't feel bad about your parents' sleeping arrangements. Remember they're here to help you. When they leave, they'll want to leave knowing that you have an arrangement and a routine with which all of you can be comfortable. That means supporting all that hard work you did getting your toddler into her crib.

PLUS, your toddler needs that security -- she's little, but she's not dumb; she'll put 2 and 2 together real fast if, the moment the new baby comes along, her whole life turns upside down. She needs to feel secure with her position in the family *and* in the house. That's her space. Let her keep it. (Translation: in my experience, Yup -- shifting her into a routine where she wakes up with a parent beside her will totally mess up all the independent sleeping progress. This is the road to long term co-sleeping, which, though I loved it, sure did keep me awake a lot.)

Let your folks do this for you. Get them as comfy as you can in the living room and remember that none of this is a mystery to them, they've been through it before.

And by the way -- having kids close together rocks. Absolutely the coolest, craziest, most magical challenge you'll have until... well, until you have grandkids and get to help *your* daughter out after *her* C section. Congratulations!!! To all of you!

When I had my second child in july my mother was also staying with us . Our daughter was used to being in her own room . We got an air mattress for my mom in the family room from costco. Good price and it's a double level (good for the grandparents :-)) Our new son went in a bassinet in our room, then into the crib in the other bedroom since our 3 yr old was already now in her big girl bed . Also IKEA has beds that are smaller than a twin but larger than a toddler size bed. That is what we got since the other bedroom is quite small . Everything worked out fine . I would keep your 20 month old where she is at now that you have established that for her . She is going to deal with alot of changes when baby gets here and you want to make sure she feels important and special too . As for your husband ok for sleeping in the other room if he needs to get up for work in the am . Or get him earplugs for the nights when he needs to sleep . Just start your new life w/ your new addition the way that feels best for you and enjoy . What a blessing children are. good luck and congratulations !

In short I would keep your 20 month old daughter in her crib in her room. She is going to be doing a lot adjusting as it is. Mommy in the hospital, visitors, new baby coming home, less attention. Your parents seem very sweet and helpful. I'm sure they will be happy to sleep anywhere as long as they are helping. Perhaps they could stay in a hotel/motel and get a good night sleep so they can help you during the day with the baby and give your daughter some extra love and support.
All the best,
S.

Wow, are you going to be busy! I would suggest that since your in-laws are willing to sleep on an air mattress, that you thank them and let that happen. You, and everyone else are going to go crazy, if you switch it up on your daughter right now. It's going to be crazy enough with her getting used to having another baby in the house. Keep everything the same for as long as possible. Also, you'd be surprised by how strong your man can be, keep him in the room with you and the baby, you both need to do this together. If it comes to a point that he needs a break, put him in your daughter's room with her. I know it's hard to give up some duties, when you know that your the Mom, but.... you will soon be doing all those duties without any help, so take it while you have it. Make sure to thank everyone, and make something nice, or take the kids to visit grandma and grandpa when you're all ready. I used a cradle in our room, so it wouldn't take up a ton of room, and amazingly it helped our little one adjust wonderfully to sleeping in the same room as her sister. God Bless!

I like the advice of an air mattress for your parents. Just a hint- put a warm mattress pad on top of it- (or a wool blanket) under the sheet. It can feel a little too cool without it- Somehow- our body-heat doesn't warm up the surface because of all that air.
S.

I would highly suggest taking your parents up on their off to sleep in the living room. Your toddler is going to have enough emotional things to deal with being a new big sister...keeping things as NORMAL as possible for her is important. When our son was born, our duaghter was 2 3/4 years. She had some regression onthe sleep thing, but being CONSISTENT and keeping it the same is what we were told was best for her and ultimaately all of us. And sure enough a couple weeks after we came home with the baby, she readusted to her own room and is doing great.

Good luck!

Hi. I mostly wanted to write to you and let you know the you are NOT alone!!! We have a similar issue of small spaces. We also have a two bedroom, but we have five kids! We keep the baby (10 mos) in our room in a porta crib, the two older girls share a room and a bed! The boys are older now and kind of do their own thing, but when they are around it's just musical beds!! I think it's best to keep in mind that it's okay and you just do whatever works for you. Your parents seem to be really down to earth- which is great- roll with it. When my mum comes to visit she shares a bed with our two year old...whatever works. But, I do agree that you should not back pedal w/ the 20 month old. If your parents are willing to accomodate, keep her in the bed!! Good luck and sweet dreams!!

S.~
We had the same situation. The toddler slept in her crip in her room. I didn't want to mess up her sleeping arrangements. It's very hard to throw something new in when they are already in a routine. I had the baby's crib next to me in our room so that I could nurse in the middle of the night. It didn't bother my husband. He slept through it all. My parents slept on the sofa bed in the living room. They were happy just to be there with their grandkids. It will all work out.

I had the same situation but with a 1 bedroom!!! My suggestion is to let your parents suffer on an air mattress. You need to keep your little one in the crib. Here's what I would do. Toddler in crib & possibly dad. Baby with you in your room. Grandparents in living room. Or you can put the crib in your room & you sleep with both kids, dad on couch, parents in toddler room. That'll only work if you think the baby wont wake up your toddler.

I thought I had it all planned out but when the baby came she didn't want to sleep at night anyways!! It all worked out though. I would stay up sometimes with the baby & sometimes my mom did. I'd say the biggest thing is to keep your toddler sleeping the best you can. Your parents will understand. My 2 yr old at the time was sleeping in her crib but then with time came back to bed with us. She's now 3 1/2 & just got back to her own bed. The baby though is a great sleeper!!! Good luck.

If you need any other advice or just need to talk feel free to contact me. My girls are 23 months apart. I'm not going to lie it's difficult but it does get easier. It might take 4-6 months but it does get easier.

M.

Hi! If I were in this situation I would keep your daughter in her room (alone!) and keep her on schedule... this is most important at her age. You and your husband sleep with the newborn in your room so that you can wake and change & nurse the baby without disturbing your daughter or your parents, and have your parents sleep in the living room on the air mattress. You may want to give them "the best" accommodations, but they will not care where they sleep, just that they are there with their granddaughter and newest grand baby, and surely they are aware of your tight living space but still have offered to come and help (you're lucky!). And hey, they will get their own space, undisturbed by a waking toddler, or a waking infant. If your daughter wakes earlier in the a.m., your husband can go in her room and "entertain" her to let everyone else sleep in.

S.,

Your lucky to have your parents around to help you out, but don't change your daughter's sleeping arrangements, especially now. After the baby is born it may be difficult to get her back into her sleeping routine. Routine at this age is very crucial. It's wonderful that she is secure to sleep in her own room and crib, especially after co-sleeping with you. There will be so many adjustments with a new baby in the house, she will appreciate her own space. Allow your parents the option of sleeping with your daughter in her room or in the living room. Your husband should stay in your room. Remember, you may also need the living room area for late night feedings, soothing and comforting your baby so that others are not disturbed, especially if your husband has to work. Depending on your baby, sleep deprivation can be stressful for the entire household. Our daughter was 15 months old when our son was born. He refused to sleep in a bassinet as he felt more secure sleeping with me. As long as I was able to get some extra sleep, that was fine with me, whatever works for you. I believe your parents will be very understanding and appreciate that you have welcomed them into your home to experience this wonderful blessing. Having two siblings close together in age is very demanding in the beginning. Our son is now 1 and our daughter 2, it's awesome to see them interact and grow together. Congratulations and wish you the best!

S.,

I'd do whatever arrangement lets you keep your daughter doing what she's doing as long as it is working. Since she hasn't been in her crib long and you want her to sleep there long-term, I'd try not to mess with it. That said, when the baby comes, she that may totally disrupt her routine regardless. If you have a pack and play, you might want to dig it out so you have some options that still involve her sleeping on her own but you can relocate her if you need to. Where to put the parents? That is a tough one. Can you put down the murphy bed and have the crib in the room? If so, leave her crib where it is and then either your parents or husband can take the bed and then whoever is left can take the living room. Some of those air mattresses are really not bad.

I doubt taking your daughter out of her crib would un-do her ability to sleep in the crib but it would likely put you in the position of having to start over. I don't know how much you struggled to get her in there in the first place so that would obviously be a deciding factor.

I had my first baby via c-section because he was breech. I had my second via VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). Having done it both ways, I'd HIGHLY recommend really trying for that VBAC. The recovery is so much easier. I had my son at 4 a.m. and by 7 a.m. I was up and moving around and I went home that afternoon. Having a newborn is exhausting. Having a newborn,and a toddler and major surgery would not be my idea of a good time. For the record, labor really wasn't that horrible. About the time it got bad I got an epidural and from there is was really okay. And I just can't say enough how total fine I felt afterwards. Compared to feeling like you've been hit by a truck like you do after a c-section, the VBAC was nothing.

Good luck!

:-)T.

Hello, I have not personally experienced this situation but as I was reading your question I had an idea. A friend of mine has used this; it is a sleeper for the baby that attaches to the side of your bed so the baby sleeps in his own space but is right there with you for feedings, etc... This way your husband can stay in the room with you and your toddler can stay in her room with your parents; I am sure they will be fine sleeping in the same room. I hope this helps:)

Dear S.:

Wow! I can relate! My children were born 18 months apart. I had my daughter in bed with me too long and I realized that if I put her in another room right before or at the time of her brother's arrival, she might become jealous. I DIDN'T want that! We had her sleep in a toddler bed in our room when he arrived.

In your case, you've already overcome the crib hurdle. Good job! I wouldn't undermine that if I were you. Just bring the crib into your room now (before your parents get there) and establish the family "unit." Decide if the grandparents will sleep in the 2nd bedroom or the living room. That way, if you're not cosleeping with the newborn, you can go to the OTHER room to nurse, change diapers, or whatever you might need to do in the middle of the night without waking everyone up...especially your husband.

In our case (this may not apply to you at all...we were big on cosleeping) when our son was a newborn, I had my son in a side-sleeping taco holder thing so he'd wake up and nurse all night at the self-serve mommy buffet. My husband would bring my daughter to our bed when he left for work in the early morning. That left me sleeping with a child on either side of me. For some reason, neither child would wake up again until later in the morning and I was able to catch up on the sleep I'd lost all night.

As our son stopped waking often during the night, my husband began taking our daughter to a toddler bed in her OWN room in the early morning and putting our son in the toddler bed in our room. Pretty soon, the transition was complete!

Dear S.,

One of my girls slept in a crib until she was 5 - we took the side rail off and put on a toddler safety rail, so she just got in and out like a regular bed. Her younger sister slept in a playpen until she was 3. She slept in the living room for quite a while, then in the spare room. When she was in the living room, I had to put blankets on the sides of the playpen so that she wouldn't see what was going on and be able to fall asleep. All this to say that maybe you could use a playpen for a while. (I used a big square old-fashioned "play yard" and a smaller travel playpen, both. If this works for you, you could set the playpen up in the living room - or it might fit in your room, or even in her room with your parents. It would be a lot easier than trying to move her crib - you might even dismantle the crib and just use the playpen for the sake of space . . .

Good luck!
B.

I was in the same situation! Here's what I did: put the crib in your room and have your toddler still sleep in 'her' bed, so as not to disrupt this new milestone. Then put baby with you, either in bassinet or if you co-sleep, in your bed. Put your parents in the second bedroom. And if your husband wants to stay in your room he can, or if he wants to sleep in the LR, he can too - up to him. If you are concerned with your toddler waking up with the newborn in the middle of the night, just warn her ahead of time that her new brother might make some noise in the middle of the night to eat, but that he too will be sleeping soon after. She might wake up, but if she knows ahead of time what might happen, she will most likely go back to sleep.

Good luck!

If it were me, I would rent a hotel before I disturbed the toddler! After all the stress in getting her to this point, and with all the added stress about to come, she needs her rest! And if she isn't sleeping, NOBODY in the house will be, so I would just keep her dad in bed with you and the baby in a bassinet next to you (or with you) and the parents in the living room. It sucks, but if the understand, and again, if they toddler is not sleeping, then none of you will be anyways. Good luck!!

hi. I'm the mom of two (2 1/2 & 4 months). After I had each of my boys, I had them sleep in a cradle in my room. It is convenient and easiest when recovering from a c-section. I found that keeping my 21/2 year old in his room and doing my best not to disturb his schedule was most helpful. He adjusted very well. My suggestion would be to keep your toddler's sleeping situation as close to the same as you can. It is REALLY important to not disrupt their routine as much as possible. It will make things much easier on you. We kept our newborn in our room (not in our bed) for the 1st 3 months until his night feedings became more spread out. It might help your toddler adjust.
Good Luck!

We went through this exact case scenario in September last year. We had a 17 month old toddler boy and a newborn. The best advice we were given regarding this is try your very best to keep the toddlers schedule the same and consistent as possible. For them a new baby turns their world upside down so it's really important to keep things as routine as humanely possible. I would not disturb the toddlers sleeping arrangement if I could. Our newborn stayed in our room in a co-sleeper and anyone that came to stay with us just stayed in our living room. Our toddler stayed in his room just like he always would. It's definetely a huge adjustment for everyone, but I really do think it's important to try and have things remain how they always have with your toddlers sleep arrangements. I know how it is...I was thinking when I was reading this that this sounds exactly like what we went through. I have to say that with us making a conscious effort to keep our toddler on his routine helped ALOT! When everything else is their live is different, I think it's important to keep their routine like it was before. Good luck!!!I hope everything works out!!! I'm here if you have more questions!!! A.

How about your husband and toddler sleep in your toddler's room, your parents sleep in your bedroom and you sleep on the futon with your newborn in the living room? I had a C-section with my daughter (she's now 15 months old and has been sleeping in her crib since 6 months?) and she slept on top of me on the futon in her room for the first 3 months.

Hi!! I totally fell your situation. My son is 18 months and toke us forever to get him to sleep on his crib. But now he dont sleep anywhere else on house, for naps and night time!! I think this because your parents will be living with you forever you should let your girl sleep on her crib all night in her own room. Because after they go back home you will be the one dealing with the fact she want sleep in another place in house! Maybe will be lil easir for you stay on living roon with your newborn, both of you will be bonding and feeding all night. Your parents can maybe sleep on your bedroom and daddy can get cozy with you somewhere on living room too. That way everyone get some rest! And your daughter will realized that nothing will be changing with sleeping routine! Once she out of her crib for lil while will be very hard to get her back into!

Good luck!!!
Take care
love
P.

S.,
You are totally overthinking this! You are giving birth shortly AND having a c-section! Keep your daughter in her crib in her room, have your parents sleep in the LR on the air mattress and keep your hubby in bed with you and baby. If your parents are fine with the LR and air mattress, then just do it! If you are worried about their comfort, invest in an aero bed. We purchased one for my parents visit and they loved it. Don't undo an important step for co-sleeping kids by moving her around and taking her away from her comfort zone. And remember, you'll have a new baby who needs rest too and having a house in chaos won't help any of you.

Go relax and have a baby.
Good luck & happy sleeping,
T.

I would keep the two kids in separate rooms, definitely. If your parents are only staying for a short while I would put the toddler to sleep in her room and then move the crib every night. If the stay is a long one, I'd let her sleep on the futon with dad and re-teach the crib.

Hi S.,

I'd keep your toddler in the crib! You and your husband should sleep in your own bed with the baby in your room in a basinet nearby. Either put your parents in the room with your toddler or let them sleep on a air mattress in the living room. N., mother of triplet 3 year olds and an 8 year old (I once made the mistake of letting him sleep with us).

Honestly? Your toddler's life is about to get turned upside down with a new baby in the house. The last thing you want to do is disrupt her routine anymore than is necessary. Esepcially if she is just now starting to sleep in her own crib! If I were you (and this is just my opinion- I have a 20 month old daughter myself), I would leave her in her own room, in her own crib, put the newborn in your room with you, and have your parents either take over the living room or get a hotel room! Your parents are much more adaptable than your toddler and will understand the change better than she can! They can come early and stay late, but it doesn't sound like you have the room for 4 adults and 2 little ones.
My biggest concern would be changing your daughter's sleeping arrangements. I know how much mine thrives on routine and only sleeps well in her own room, in her own crib. I'd leave her in her room and let everyone else work around her. You're going to have your hands full with a newborn. The last thing you need is a sleepless, cranky toddler.

Hi S.,
I am a mom of four.
I was reading your situation and just one thought I might try is: Keep your todler in her crib. It is safe and she needs not to be cranky for you when the new baby arrives. Put Dad in the room with her in his own bed. Put your parents in their own room and I would buy a Portable Crib for the new baby and sleep in the living room with the new born. Your always getting up anyways and for naps you can always use one of the bedrooms. Congratulations on your new arrival and good luck.

You don't want to disrupt your toddlers sleep arrangements. She is already going to be out of sorts with a new baby and trying to determine where she stands. If you have her sleep with Daddy she'll expect it all the time. I know it is not the most attractive idea, but your parents on an air mattress is probably the best solution. That is what we have to do when our family comes to visit. I have 3 kids (4,3,1) all sharing 1 room and I've tried moving my 4 yr old into our room when company comes so someone can have a bed and she just doesn't sleep that way. Your children are most important and your daughter needs to feel comfortable.