Advice on Infant and Toddler Sharing a Room &/Or Bed

Hi,
I have 2 boys ages 2 and 5. They have separate rooms, but somehow always want to sleep together! My 5-year old have bunk beds so it is easy. In the beginning I was a little anxious about it, but they really do love each-other that much! I think that siblings just tend to gravitate toward that other. Also, when we first put bunks in the older boy's room, the were both SO exicted...Good luck

I don't see a problem w/ sharing a room, but I would not let them sleep in the same bed until the baby is closer to 2. it doesn't sound very safe. can you do a crib in the room? my two sleep in the same room now but they are 3 and 5. mainly because my 3 yr. old doesn't want to be by herself and doesn't like her toddler bed. we have 2 twin beds.

In the natural aspect and circle of life, it is normal for humans to want and need body touch, especially infants. They have been in a warm snug environment for 9 months then "society" states teach them to sleep alone. Yet, their natural instincts are to want to snuggle. The most natural is with their mother, if not their parent, then the next body touch they can find, a sibling. Your daughter's needs are natural, normal and very healthy. The next step is in the same room with different beds, yet there is still time for that. There are many parents that support the
"9 months in/9 months out" rule, and it really has some great theories and advice. I am not sure what you and your family believes, and I apologize if my concerns are offensive therefore I suggest always for parents to read and find out what they are comfortable with, not what everyone else believes. Last week a lady, who had a "miracle baby" was concerned because others said she was spoiling her baby by sleeping with her--I cheered her on, because I to have a "miracle baby". Babies--Infants, cannot be "spoiled" they have already been snug and safe for 9 months. Children grow up too fast already, let them be babies as long as they can be. Enjoy your daughters, enjoy their stages. Enjoy the closeness they will gain from being together.
Do what you and your husband are comfortable and agreeble with, not what others form for you, not even your parents.
P.S. A friend of mine has a 3 year, a 5 year old and a 10 year old, the 5 year old still crawls in with her 10 year old and it is okay. They just this year, moved each daughter into their own room.
Good Luck, M. N.

I wouldn't advise you to put baby to sleep with sibling at this age she needs's to cosleep with you or in her own crib.There are risk's involved,even sleeping in a parent's bed.I would put crib in sibiling's room and start with nap's then if that is good lay here to sleep at nite,even at this age for baby they will wake during the nite.

Hi S.,
Yes, we had my two boys sleep in the same bed until recently. We had them sleeping in the same bed when our youngest was big enough that our oldest wouldn't possibly smooch our youngest. I want to say he was probably about 6-12months, I know it was definitely when he hit 1 if not as I said a little younger. We always made sure that our youngest slept against the wall and our oldest slept on the outside so our youngest wouldn't fall out of bed and we put pillows down on the floor for in case somehow one of them did fall out of bed. Good luck!

-J.

I have two daughters (adults now) that are 15 months apart and they slept together as children until they were 10 and 11 years old. They started sharing a bed when the youngest was about 1. Sometimes it was hard to get them to go to sleep because they would lay in there and talk to each other. Other than that we didn't have any problems with them having to share a bed. I have to admit that when I would go to check on them and see them curled up next to each other still melts my heart when I think about it now. I started them in the same room when we brought the baby home, her crib was in the bedroom with my oldest daughter. I would go ahead and try to put her crib in there to get them use to being together and hopefully the baby won't interupt her sisters sleeping.

I had my 2nd daughter when my oldest was 2, they shared a room. We moved and they got their own room, we had another child, a boy this time and the girls got stuck together. We moved again and they had their own room. Some how no matter how many times while sharing a room they always wanted their own rooms once they had their own rooms though they always ended up back in each others rooms. Now they once again share a room. It is much easier to tell them once they get older to go and clean their own rooms but the bond that they got from sharing is great. They have to learn to work together and I think that is important....just a little FYI if this reponse is a little crazy it is because the wonderful little 4 yr old boy was having a fit in between my sentences.
Sure we all can understand that
=)

The children sharing a room should not be a problem unless they are on different schedules of sleep and would keep each otherfrom getting needed rest, but don't put them in same bed til the younger 1 is at least 3 to much danger of accidental sufication.

My daughter stayed in our room until she was 10 months old--she was still nursing (not till morning), but I didn't want to take the chance of my 2 year old boy waking up if they had shared a room.

Then she slept in a pack-n-play in the office from then on (and until now, 19 mo old) because she was waking us up too much.

I tried having them share a room for 2 days and it did not work. Amazingly, my son was sleeping through most of it! It was my daughter who was the problem. She would stand up in her crib and just YELL at her brother--I think she just loved him being there! :) So, it did not work for us. We're shuffling rooms around, squeezing ourselves into the office, so we'll have 2 kids' rooms. We are adopting hopefully 2 kids internationally, so the girls will share and the boys will share. We won't have an option then!

Hi S.,

I have 4 kids and the middle 2 have shared the same bed. They didn't start sleeping together until my younger one was about 2. So for you when your oldest is about 4 1/2 and the youngest is 2 1/2.

As for getting her to sleep in her room start with naps and move on from there.

Our girls sleep together in the same bed and have for a couple of years, since the youngest was about 1 1/2. We didn't have them share a room until then because of the waking up in the night thing. We did it when we moved her out of her crib. We didn't keep our kids in a crib for very long. I didn't think it was necessary. They have a full size bed, and have never fallen out. There are issues sometimes, with them staying up late playing or reading, but they love it, and I think its comforting for them to have someone in the room with them.

My 18 month old and 4 year old have been sharing a room for the last year. It has been wonderful! My son sleeps in his crib and our daughter has bunkbeds. We ar hoping that this summer, we can transistion my son to the bottom bunk. We have had very few problems with them waking each other up, in fact it helps them both sleep better I think because they know someone is near by.

well...here is what we did and what happened. my son was just about 23 months when his sister was born. in preparation for the birth we moved him from his crib into a toddler bed. Changed the sheets on the crib into a more girly look. For the next several months the baby slept in her bassinet next to me. when we moved into our new apartment, Sadie was about 6 months old...we transferred her into the nursery with her brother. This is when it got interesting...her big brother felt her crib in the nursery was too sparse and proceeded to dump every stuffed animal and toy he could get a hold of into the crib. Thankfully little sister was not in the crib...but boy that frightened me. You may want to begin a conversation with your toddler about the importance of not putting anything into the her sister's crib. It's been 3 years now. They still share a room...they are in bunk beds now...but i am cringing when the day comes when I have to give up my office to separate the 2 :(

My kids share a room. I've been sleeping in there for the winter because it's to cold in my room. But I noticed that having a bed time routine helps. get them ready at the same time brush teeth, ect. It has helped me..

My daughters are 22 months apart. They have shared a room since our youngest was 4 months old. Prior to that, she was in our room. They sleep in a crib and toddler bed.

I explained to my older daughter that sometimes babies cry in the night, and that it's ok. Mommy will come in and take care of her and you can just keep on sleeping.
At first, my older dd would wake when the baby cried, but it didn't take long before they learned to ignore each other's sleeping sounds. They are now 2 and 4 and still share the same room. We will be moving them into a full-size bed together in a few months, and I'm sure that will take some time adjusting to.

But, all in all, I love that my girls share a room. They have a buddy to sleep with and it makes them feel cozy. Once when my younger daughter was not ready for her nap yet, my older daughter said, "But I need a friend. I need Cali!"

Babies need their own bed with no covers, sheets, bumpers, or pillows until at least one year of age. Check with the American Academy of Pediatrics. This lowers risk of SIDS. They are not supposed to sleep with you (I had a hard time with this), so why would they be able to sleep with a sibling? Maybe when they are both toddlers, it would be okay, until then, I wouldn't risk it!

They should have their own beds for safety and psychological reasons, but sharing a room is GREAT.

Right now we have 5 of our 6 children sleeping in the same room(we're remodeling a basement to make more bedrooms!) Kids are amazing what they can sleep through. One question, is your baby sleeping through the night? That may make a difference with your older one waking up but usually they sleep right through it. Also if you just move the baby's crib into another room she really shouldn't notice too much of a difference. I definitely wouldn't put the two in the same bed until your baby is ready to get in and out of a bed by herself. Other children, not just parents, can also roll onto a sleeping baby causing breathing and other dangerous issues. Once she is older I think it's great they might share a bed. You will love to hear them lying in bed at night talking and sharing secrets and thoughts. It will give them a strong bond. Kids really don't need that "own" space until they are approaching puberty or a time when privacy becomes and issue, and even then there are ways around that like getting their own time in their room and taking turns with that. Our kids are very close because they share a room and it doesn't seem to have had any adverse effects on them. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I probably wouldn't do it simply because I had to when I was a kid and my big sister was a bed wetter. It's bad enough to wake up in your own pee, but to wake up in someone else's? Gross!!!!

as far as transitioning the baby to her sisters room, here is an idea.... have the 2 1/2 year old "help" daddy or mommy move the baby's bed into big sisters room, get her all hyped up about sharing a room with her sister, than just do it.... adn big sister should hopefully be fine with it since she got to help set up the baby's area.

My children are 6 (girl) and 4 (boy). They have been sharing their room since my son was born. I truly believe it's made them good friends. They don't even want to separate into different rooms now that they are older. I would immediately get the baby sleeping in the room and out of yours. The longer you wait the harder it will be.

We just moved our daughter (3 1/2 mths) in with our son (2 1/2 yrs). It has been a very smooth transition; she has her crib, and he has his bed. But we do make sure that we keep the crib rail up high enough so he doesn't get tempted to crawl in himself (his brotherly love can be a bit much at times). It's great having everything in one room for the kids and a form of relief to have our room back.
For safety reasons, I wouldn't recommend them sharing a bed until your youngest can safely get out of bed herself.

My children are 13 mo. apart. When it was time to move my daughter into the room with her bother we bought my son a toddler bed and his favorite character sheets. He was so happy that it did not bother him that they were sharing the room. She still woke up in the night some due to the bed change, but amazingly my son was not bothered by her. I hope you will get it figured out.

A.