Advice on How to Approach Moving Daughter to Advanced Class at New School

Updated on September 12, 2012
J.J. asks from Los Angeles, CA
14 answers

My daughter started 2nd grade this week. We were lucky enough to have been able to transfer to one of the top schools in the area. My daughter was sad at the thought of not going to school with her old friends/classmates…but ever since the topic had been brought up, and the initial shock of changing schools had quickly subsided, she has been quite positive about the new experience. She is slowly making new friends and adjusting better than I could’ve imagined. *phew*
Now, the thing that has concerned me more is her placement in a combo 2-3 class. (Does anyone have any experience with 2-3 combo classes?) This is her first combo class and even before school began, we had asked the principal that her marks and superb test scores be looked through to make a good case for her being placed in a GATE class. However, the GATE class was/is full and so she had been assigned to the 2-3 combo class.

Had she stayed at her old school, she would have remained in the GATE class with her old peers. Now, she is an a 2-3 combo that I can’t really put my finger on in terms of what to expect from the teacher and if and how she can keep up with my highly-advanced daughter. I’m worried that she will find herself bored and not at all challenged in this non-GATE class. And if that’s the case, I’m afraid of her not reaching her fullest potential come 3rd grade when GATE is even more intense and competitive.

I’ve just been really confused as to how to approach this with either
the teacher (I’m unsure of her experience with students like my daughter especially in a 2-3 class where I don’t know the difficulty of her classload),
the principal (we have been lucky to even get in to this top school – can beggars be choosers? How can I make a solid case to put my daughter in GATE where she truly belongs)
and
my daughter (if she’s not being challenged enough, I’m afraid she might miss the cut come next year?).

Moms out there, any thoughts, advice, comments? Many thanks in advance.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Wait a minute, you went out of your way to transfer her to one of the "top schools in the area," and now you're going to worry and micromanage her schooling? If you didn't trust this school, why did you put her there, since she would have remained in the GATE class with her peers in her old school?

"Miss the cut??" She's only in second grade. I can tell you from experience that you need to lighten up a little about her school. The most important ingredient of your child's schooling in ANY school is her teacher, and that will change yearly from grade to grade. Some will be amazing, and some less than that.

If you want her in GATE, and they offer it, then simply ask. Don't worry about her being bored yet -- the year just started. She will let you know soon enough if she is bored.

Now I will give you this: It's true that she might be bored, even in a highly-rated, top school. In first and second grades in two very highly-rated schools, my "highly-advanced" son (4.6 GPA, etc. etc.) came home telling me he was bored. So in 3rd grade we switched him to a charter school, where he was never bored again.

But she is doing well so far and seems happy. Remember: "Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire." If your daughter is happy and enthusiastic about her school, that's all that matters.

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

So she left a GATE class in a mediocre school for a regular class in top school?
Sounds like a wash to me.
It's only second grade, don't over think it. If your daughter is truly GATE material she will get in when a space opens up.
And at our school, also a top performing school, the split classes were the best classes to be in. The teachers were more experienced and the kids were picked based on maturity and ability to work independently. Getting into a split class is a GOOD thing!

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Well, I don't know about 2-3 and GATE, but many parents run into challenges when it comes to their childrens' educational placement.

Talk with the teacher - and maybe the principal. You're new to the school, and it's very reasonable that you should introduce yourself and meet the folks who are in charge. They don't even know your girl well yet.

When it comes to your concerns about your daughter, ask questions! Don't make demands. That turns people off. Ask questions. Frame your questions in advance. Rather than saying, "You've made a mistake with my kid!" say, "I'm not familiar with what you'll be doing in this class. Could you tell me more about it? Do I come to you if my daughter says she's bored? She's the kind of student who really, really wants a challenge." Think how you would want to be approached if you were the teacher being approached by (yet another) parent.

3 moms found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Instead of worrying about a lot of IFs and MAYBEs because you are "unsure of (the teacher's) experience with students like my daughter..." why not either

a) wait and see how things go. If your daughter IS bored, deal with it THEN. If your daughter IS being overlooked, mention it THEN. If the 2-3 combo isn't working out for her... you get my drift.

or

b) ask. "Hey we're new to the school and my daughter is a pretty unique student, so since the school is new to us and she's new to you, I was hoping we could touch bases about exactly how you deal with bright 2nd graders in the 2-3 combo. Is that possible?" Done.

As far as making a case for her to be put into GATE, honestly if she needs to be in GATE, she will be in GATE. 2nd grade is on the early end for GATE programs anyway (in Montgomery County, MD which is THE TOP school district in the nation... GATE starts at 4th grade. Kids are in mainstream classes until then), let her flourish in her current class and they'll identify her and put her in GATE for 3rd. She's at a new school and is just starting to make friends, DON'T ask them to change her class NOW! Please.

Hope this helps,
T.

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

At second grade, I don't think you really need to worry about her missing out by not being put in GATE this year. I assume they put her in the 2/3 combo so that they can easily slide her over to the third grade curriculum if they find that she's not being challenged enough by the traditional second grade material.

If I'm being blunt, I think you should ease up on the school, your daughter, and yourself a little. Your situation rings so many bells for me. I was considered a highly gifted child, and my parents were very focused on that and this idea that I needed to live up to my full potential. There were way too many awkward meetings with teachers and principals, and I changed schools far too many times as they tried to chase down the "best" school. I really think it was to my detriment. Even within the best school, you can get a not-so-great teacher or not-so-great classmates or just have a not-so-great rapport with them.

This "gift" that should have made my life easier in fact made it much more difficult. Far from being a gift, it felt like a curse for much of my childhood. Please don't do that to your daughter. Give her a chance to be a somewhat normal child with a somewhat normal school experience. Academics are important, but they are only a part of what a child learns at school.

I know that she is YOUR child and no teacher or principal or school is going to care about her individual well-being the way you do, but at some point, you have to trust that they really do have her best interests at heart. You'll drive yourself crazy otherwise.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

If the GATE class is full, they're not going to let her in. There are limits to class sizes and they won't go beyond them.

You may have to decide whether to send her back to the old school where hopefully there is still room for her in the GATE class or be satisfied with what you have. Unfortunately, you don't get to have your cake and eat it too.

I will say that if she's in 2nd grade in a mixed 2 - 3 class, they will move along more rapidly than a straight 2nd grade class. Not as much as the GATE class though.

2 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

you're worried about what MIGHT happen, in a class you're not familiar with, with a teacher you don't know. you already know the advanced class is full. what do you expect will happen?

sure maybe the squeaky wheel gets the grease. but i also believe in many cases that the squeaky wheels don't do themselves any favors. to me being on good terms with the faculty who my child is in direct contact with every day is very important. wouldn't you hate for your daughter to be infamous simply for being YOUR DAUGHTER? i would never go to a school (who already told me the advanced class is full) questioning their abilities (UGH) and assuming that your daughter is just too dang brilliant to succeed in their class.

give it time. give them the benefit of the doubt, be patient, and wait and see. it's S. grade. not harvard law.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am not familiar with GATE but in Pennsylvania if your child test in the "gifted" range then the school has to provide a GIEP and enrichment. Why don't you request, in writing, that the school test your daughter's IQ. If she qualifies I would suspect they will have to put her in the gifted program. Good luck.

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M.W.

answers from Billings on

I am the GATE Coordinater at my school and in my expierence the squeaky wheel get the grease! Has she been tested? Then bring all the data that you have to a meeting with the teacher and principal. It is not too early to request this. Even if the GATE class is full, they still can provide pull out or in class enrichment. Also, a 2/3 class would be great this year for your daughter, she can do all the 3rd grade work, which might even be better than GATE. If she is super ahead after this year, maybe she will skip 3rd grade. Just meet with the teacher and find out what she is going to do to keep your daugher interested, I'm sure she can compact the curriculum or just pretest and skip things she knows.

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

HAs your daughter been tested for GATE or do they just let her in the class? BEcause if she is tested she shoudl have a GIEP and if she has that they will have to accomodate her by law. I would famliarize myself with your state's laws on gifted. I would fight for the GATE class if I were you. The rigor in which the subject matter is explored will be much better in a GATE class. Your daughter will most definitely be held back in a room of average learners no matter if they are in second or third grade.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would talk to the school about it. The GATE teachers should be able to talk to you about the program, where she'll fit in the future, etc.

My personal experience is that I was put in GT in 6th grade in a new school. They didn't have the test scores so they called it a "mistake" and took me out in 7th til I could be tested (they were waiting for me to fail in 6th...which I did not). And then put me back in 1/2 way through 7th. I kind of understand it as an adult, but I don't get why they left me in for 6th and never did the testing til it impacted my year.

Is there any part of the GATE program she could be pulled in for? My SD did William and Mary stuff and left for the WM class a few times a week, in addition to her regular class.

You won't know til you go in and talk to a few people, but that's where I'd start. How will this impact my child, not just this year but in the future? How will you meet her needs?

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B.P.

answers from Cleveland on

wait it out, its the beginning of school, i think she will be fine, BUT as a parent you can always get her SOME LEARNING work books for where her grade level and work your way up from her grade level once she completes each grade for all subjects. especially if she is weak in one subject have her work on those (if approved by the teacher) once she is finished with her work

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

As a parent you have the right to have your questions answered and you should have gone to the principal on the first day to have this all explained to you. You should make an appointment as soon as you can with all your questions and find out what the plan is for your daughter. That being said, my son is a GATE student also but the public schools that have GATE programs still have the problem of not enough teachers and over crowding in classrooms. When my son was in 4th grade, there were only 2 classes and they were overcrowded. He was originally put in a class that was not taught by the GATE teacher. Due to the overcrowding he was then put in a 4th/5th grade split with 11 other 4th graders. They were chosen based on their test scores and they were all GATE. The 5th grade teacher taught them 4th grade English (and taught the 5th graders 5th grade English) however the 4th graders were expected to do the 5th grade English projects - term papers, research projects, etc. The 4th graders went to the 4th grade classes to learn History and Science but they went to a 2nd 5th grade teacher and learned 5th grade math. They are all in 5th grade now and have the same 5th grade teachers as last year so they are ahead of the curve as far as 5th grade goes and they are breezing through so far. The other 4th graders are still adjusting to 5th grade. So if your daughter is in 2nd grade in a 3rd grade class, it seems to me that she is advanced enough to learn much of the 3rd grade material. I would be more concerned if she was a 3rd grader in a split 2nd/3rd. Definitely talk to your principal and the teacher to get clarification but I don't think you have anything to worry about at this point. Good luck!

R.H.

answers from Houston on

Oh Lord, thank goodness I am not at a school where parents are demanding.

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