Advice on Daughters

Dear J.,

Give the girls a sign up sheet.
Have them sign in, use a timer.
Then say if your don't end you time on time, you loose your next turn.

Enjoy this short lived phase, soon you will need to beg for help.

B

That is a hard one! :-)
But here goes have you tried making a weekly schedule of chores and responsiblities especially havin to deal with who, when, where your baby is handled by them? Could make a system of rewards and "loss of rewards". In other words the paper rules their actions not You. Also I hear from on TV it is wise to have them help in creating the document including what is done, how long etc. then your job is to remind them of this agreement with them and the conswquences of not following it. With the abilty to change it as the situations change.

Have you tried a rotating schedule for the girls? One day it is Sister #1s turn so that she gets a full day of holding, attention-giving, etc., then the next day is Sister #2, and so on. They can trade as they want, or maybe even make it a schedule for a.m. and p.m. instead of a whole day, depending on how it works out. That way a chart or calendar keeps track of whose turn it is, not you or them, and they can't complain that they aren't getting their fair turn. Hope this gives you a break! It is nice that they love their baby brother so much, but it's not fair to him or you to have him being fought over.

Hi, congrats on the new boy! My mom had a similar situation when my younger sister came along, she's 7 yrs younger and then i had two older sisters with 3 years between me and the oldest (we were 7, 8,10 when she was born) Anyways, I'm sure that my mom had dealt with the same probs you're having, as I remember fighting over with my sisters. The one thing that I remember doing was that we each got to hold her for 7 mins at a time and then we had to pass her off to the next one. Baby duties were split so that we each had our own "special" thing to do in caring for the child, and we would sometimes rotate these if wanted, i.e. the oldest got to bath her, the middle got to dress her, and I got change her.....etc but this took out the fighting of who got to do what cuz it was already decided, but importantly, WE got to decide for the most part who did what so that it was something we actually wanted to do (and mom never forced us to do "our duty" when we didn't feel like it)
I don't know if that would work or if it's even a reasonable option. but rest assured, your son will grow up with 3 extra doting "moms" and you'll be proud of them as they grow!
H.

It sounds like you have your hands full! Can you designate each girl with a caregiver duty - maybe the 11 year old is responsible for helping with diaper changes, taking out the diaper pail, etc., the 9 year old is responsible for helping you with feedings, getting dishes ready, cleaning up the high chair, etc., and the 6 year old is responsible for nap time, making sure the blankets are clean and ready, music or whatever your ritual is, and all three can take turns with designated play times with the understanding that it is important that the baby have Mommy time when they can have sister time.