Advice on Current Babysitter

Hi S.,

I am gonna try not to be harsh in the way that I say this so here it goes.

First, I am a home child care provider myself. I am also the mother of 4 children. I don't smoke and I don't do drugs but I do have the occassional Smirnoff and a strwberry Daiquiri every now and again.

1) Getting the necessary information is on you and is what you have done 1st. So you need to make sure you get this information.
2) This girl is 19 yrs old and I would say that as as her behavior of drinking and the things that you see are not going on when your daughter is in her care then it doesn't matter. Child care providers and babysitters and the like are able to have a life outside of caring for other peoples children. Just because you see pictures that you see doesn't mean she is not capable to care for your child and one should not have anything to do with the other.
3) It is no different then you going to work and someone seeing a picture of you doing something in the privacy of your own home and then saying that it is inappropriate. Once again what you do in your own home is your business and not your employers business.
4) Now if she is showing up with signs of being intoxicated or on any kind of drugs then it is your business and by all means you should be concerned.

5) As a child care provider myself, after my daycare kids go home I like to unwind with a smirnoff and sit on the couch with my husband, this doesn't mean that I am incapable of taking care of children. I think you need to be fair int he way you are thinking about this. As long as your daughter is not having any problems and you are not seeing signs of neglect and you feel comfortable about leaving your daughter with her then I think thats all that matters.

All of us no matter what our job is are able to have a personal life when we are not working.

By the way I did mention that I do not do any drugs of any sort but on of my daycare families smokes weed every weekend on a regular basis, and when their daughter is with her Grandmother. Do I judge them no not at all, who am I to say.

Hi, S.,

First thing, get her home address and phone number. Then, ask her about the stuff you found on her myspace page. I would be open with her and tell her you are entrusting the most precious thing you have with her and need to feel comfortable about who you leave her with. Also, get her full name and run it through the local police department website. Most have arrest and conviction reports online now so you can find out if she's ever been arrested or anything.

Since you didn't bother with references or anything, you might want to invest in a nanny cam just to make sure everything is on the up and up. I'm not saying that your sitter is doing anything wrong, but it never hurts to be careful. You see on tv how some sitters treat the little ones when they think they are alone. I'm sure the parents all thought the sitters were good people when they hired them.

Good luck.

This is all so personal. And I'm not unbiased since I am a caregiver. But I was NOT like that person as a teen and there is NO WAY on earth I'd have my child with a person like that.

THAT SAID... I would NEVER take my child to a caregiver that is not a veteran caregiver with many years of experience because there are too many things that could go wrong.

I started daycare when I was 20 years old. I had 2 children already and a husband and didn't drink or smoke or swear in front of the kids. BUT, thinking back on all I've learned in the last 21 years... AGAIN, no way would I EVER have someone so young and so inexperienced watching my child.

If it's all about money to you then you have to take your chances and hope your daughter doesn't pay the price.

Suzi

If it were me, I'd be straightforward about it. Tell her you thought it would be fun to see if she had a myspace page, but that you were really surprised by what you saw there. (It's not checking up on someone to see if they have a myspace page. It's just seeing what your friends are doing.)
College students don't realize how what they put on myspace is going to affect them. I know that alot of companies who are recruiting look at the pages of their applicants now, which you might want to mention.
If there have been drastic changes in what was on her myspace page, you might even want to ask her how things are going in her life. Let her know that she can talk to you about it.
Tell her that you assume she knows, but you want to reinforce that cussing or any type of alcahol is not permitted when she is caring for your daughter. Most likely she would never have thought to do either of those things near her (just as she wouldn't in a pediatric hospital).
Your daughter is the most precious thing you have. Keep your eyes open for signs of trouble, and trust your mom instincts; you have them for a reason. If you are still comfortable with your sitter, the chances are good that she's just a normal 19 year old girl.

S.-
I would be a little concerned but I wouldn't worry about it to much if she isn't coming to work in a state that is inappropriate. I would mention to her your concern of what you saw and want to make sure that she understands that she is never to show up to work intoxicated. I don't think there is anything wrong with having a young girl babysit. I used to babysit when I was younger then that, so I wouldn't be too concerned as long as she is great with your little one. I would also get her information. That is just important to have if you would happen to need anything. That is not wrong to ask. You can also ask a few more personal questions if you are still uneasy, but use your instincts. A mother always knows best. Best of luck!!

A.

You could just ask her about it. You never know, its really hard to trust anyone when it comes to your kids! I know I have 3! If your daughter seems to like her she might be Ok! Stick with your instincts. I don't know if anything I said helps. But I defiantly know what where your coming from!

I think as long as there aren't pictures of her drinking with your daughter..you are in the clear. I am a mother of four and I have gone out for drinks with girlfriends, I think we have all gone out and had a good time here and there. It's myspace..not a nanny cam of her drinking with your child. Go with your gut feeling, sounds like your gut feeling is she is good with your daughter. I don't think there is any reason to ask her about her myspace. Thats up to you.
Good luck!