"Advice on Baby Sleep Needed Fas"t!

My oldest daughter had the same sleep issues. It was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. The only thing that worked was doing the Ferber method. We'd let her cry for 5 min., go in and pat her tummy (no talking), walk back out, give her 10 min., go back in and pat tummy (no talkng), then 15 min., 20 min., etc. until she fell asleep. It took an hour and half total the first night, 45 min. the second night, 20 min. the 3rd night and after that, she would fall right to sleep. She would still wake up in the night, but I never fed her. I'd wait 5 min. before going in and then just started the same process over again if that's what it took. But she usually just fell back asleep on her own.

Take heart my dear, it will pass. I used to think I was going to go crazy. I had terrible thoughts about her and felt so guilty. But, sleep deprivation does strange things to your body. I just moved here from the Seattle area and don't have any family here either. If you ever need someone to talk to, just let me know. My girls are now 4 1/2 and almost 2. You're doing a great job, so don't worrry! Take care!

I have 5 kids of my own and do in home infant care and have done so for the past 6 yrs. Two things come to mind.
This thinking is kind of "old school", but it has helped me and my families.
It might be time for a teaspoon of rice cerial at his early evening bottle. Slice the nipple a little and add a teaspoon of cerial to the bottle and introduce it this way at first. He will have allot of difficultie swollowing at this point (you will introduce the cerial in a dish later on) This should keep him satified and asleep longer. After you have done this with no reactions for 3-4 days, you could also include a teaspoon earlier in the day and move this cerial feeding to his 10pm bottle. This way you may be able to get 3-5 hours of sleep.
Two, the ferberizing trick does take time and we lived through it with three of our own. It is painful, but if the child is hungrey (hence the idea of some cerial now) he is not going to stop. We had to resort to (this is extreem-but our daughter was 7.5 months old and had slept through the night and got a cold and would not go back to her schedule. After 2 or three nights of her crying, we took the portacrib, (which she was used to napping in) and put it in the finished basement. We knew she was fine, she was just trying to manipulate us as our pediatrician said. Be loving, firm, use few words, make him comfortable, and don't turn around to look at him. Turn on that soothing music - softly. He'll be fine and so will you and your husband.
Good Luck!
Make sure he is getting enough out door time and fresh air as well. Even babies need a good walk and fresh air everyday at least a half hour and another walk after dinner is great for everyone and will help him sleep better (and you).
Get intouch with me I can tell you about some Moms Groups and some resorces that you could try(especially at this point in your life) that may help. I'm in the Towson area.
Good luck - hope to hear from you soon.

My little guy was waking every hour and a half to eat still at 4 months and I was definately a walking zombie. My ped then suggested that I do a nighttime bottle with rice cereal and a bit of light Karo syrup (for constipation). I put 2 tablespoons of rice cereal for 6 oz of milk. This really seemed to help even though the books claim cereal won't fill a babies stomach and cause them to sleep longer.
Then around 5 months I read, "Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Ferber and implimented his method and it worked. I don't think myself or my baby were ready for this until between 4-5 months so when I did do it, he cried for a bit, but the process worked. He is now 7 months old and sleeps 6 hours, wakes to be fed and then an additional 5 hours. You will feel like a new woman very soon!

hi,.
my daughters had the same symptoms = terrible sleeping patterns, never more than 30 mins at a time.
Please talk to the pediatrician about reflux. It makes laying on your back VERY painful. There are easy meds for it and you will notice a difference right away.

It is OFTEN misdiagnosed as COLIC.
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The Wall Street Journal had an article on this recently:here it is:

from Wall Street Journal

Baby Crying? Doctors Say It
May Be Acid-Reflux Disease
July 22, 2008; Page D1

Olivia Manganello was 1 month old when she started screaming, usually right after she nursed. Her family tried switching to formula, then different formulas, but nothing helped. Finally a pediatric gastroenterologist diagnosed gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) and put Olivia on Pepcid. "In two days, she was a completely different baby," says her mother, Trina Chiara of Avon, Conn.
READING ON REFLUX


• Pediatric/Adolescent Gastroesophageal Reflux Assoc. information site: www.Reflux.org
• "The Reflux Book" by Beth Pulsifer-Anderson, 2007
• "Colic Solved" by Bryan Vartabedian, MD, 2007
• "Why Is My Baby Crying?" by Barry M. Lester, Ph.D., 2006

Years ago, babies like Olivia were dismissed as having colic. Sometimes Valium was prescribed for their moms. Now, infants are increasingly being treated for GERD, paralleling a rise in chronic heartburn in adults. Use of proton-pump inhibitors (PPIs), the strongest acid-blocking drugs, in infants soared 750% from 1999 to 2004, according to a study of four major health plans. Some experts worry that GERD is being overdiagnosed in infants; others say it isn't being taken seriously enough.

Even the terminology is confusing. Most babies have reflux -- spitting up some liquid, since the valve separating the stomach from the esophagus isn't fully closed. It usually doesn't hurt. Experts like to say these "happy spitters" are a laundry problem, not a medical problem, and no treatment is needed. Most babies outgrow this simple gastroesophageal reflux (or GER) by the time they're about 7 months old.
MORE


• Join a discussion about colic, or reflux, in babies.
• Read more about Pager and the diagnosis of GERD.

GER becomes more-serious GERD if the infant won't eat and stops gaining weight, vomits blood and is extremely irritable. He may be highly sensitive to stomach acid -- "just like some adults get heartburn and call 911," says Beth Anderson, founder of the Pediatric/Adolescent Gastroesophageal Reflux Association (Pager), an information group for parents. GERD babies may also choke or aspirate liquid. Acid-reducing drugs -- which run the gamut from over-the-counter antacids to H2 acid suppressors to PPIs -- won't stop the reflux but can cut the acidity, and thus the irritability, if acid is causing the problem.

Most experts think colic is a separate issue, though it's still vaguely defined as at least three hours of crying at least three days a week for at least three weeks. Doctors theorize that it may be because of a milk allergy, gas or food not moving smoothly through immature intestines. Some 20% of babies get colic, and it's generally gone in three months -- but those can be miserable.

What's tricky is that colic and reflux can occur together. "Those babies are sometimes put on acid-reducing medications, but they don't get better," says Jeffrey S. Hyams, a pediatric gastroenterologist at Connecticut Children's Medical Center in Hartford, and Olivia Manganello's doctor. "There's no medicine for colic except time and Mother Nature."

Doctors can check for abnormal acid by putting a thin tube down a baby's nose, and rule out anatomical problems with a barium X-ray. But many simply put babies on acid-reducing drugs first to see if they improve.

Critics say that leads to overtreatment. "It's the 'get the mom off my back approach,'" says Vikram Khoshoo, a pediatric gastroenterologist at West Jefferson Medical Center in New Orleans. He says 80% of reflux babies get better with time and measures such as thickening formula with cereal, avoiding cigarette smoke and reassurance.

Bryan Vartabedian, a pediatric gastroenterologist at Texas Children's Hospital, had an epiphany when his own irritable baby improved dramatically when she was treated for reflux. He thinks about half of what's considered colic may actually be undiagnosed GERD. "We should be looking for signs of treatable conditions so babies aren't suffering needlessly," he says.

Is there any harm in putting a baby on drugs for GERD if it is just colic? None are specifically approved for infants. In older children, side effects are generally mild, like nausea and diarrhea; PPIs have been linked with a risk of bone fractures in adults. But few long-term studies have been done.

Left untreated, some babies outgrow GERD, but doctors worry if it prevents an infant from eating. "Babies need to gain weight," says Dr. Hyams. "If they don't, there's something wrong."

More on Reflux

When Beth Anderson organized a meeting of other parents of babies with acid reflux in Washington, D.C., in 1992, she thought she was starting a small support group, not a national organization. The Pediatric Adolescent Gastroesophageal Reflux Association (Pager), as it's now known, has mushroomed along with the diagnosis of GERD. The group's Web site, www.reflux.org, got 2.3 million hits in March, and has 61,000 searchable posts.

Pager fields inquiries from parents at both ends of the misery spectrum -- from parents worried about a little bit of crying to those whose infants have very severe symptoms. "We don't advocate medications," says Mrs. Anderson. "Our position is that if the parents think their child is in significant pain, they need to talk to their doctor." She advises parents to keep track of their baby's behavior and report objectively. "If you say, 'my baby cries all the time,' the doctor may not take you seriously. If you say, 'my baby cried six hours yesterday and six hours the day before,' then they know it's time to do something."

Some parents in Pager say it took awhile for doctors to take their concerns seriously. Melissa Willard of Easley, S.C., says her daughter, Maggie, started choking her first night in the hospital, and made strange nasal noises -- "like she was starting a car." But she was repeatedly told it was "normal baby stuff." The turning point came when Mrs. Willard's obstetrician heard Maggie sputtering and diagnosed reflux. A pH probe confirmed it. Maggie took Zantax for several months and no longer needs it.

Some parents who were told their babies were "just colicky" have seen them grow up to have fullblown GERD or food allergies. Erica Hale of Salt Lake City, Utah, says her son, Isaiah, sometimes cried "20 out of 24 hours" when he was an infant. Though he did outgrow it when he was 4 months old, the distress returned in elementary school. Now age 11, Isaiah is taking Prevacid and has been diagnosed with a gluten intolerance. "When we went over the symptoms with him, he said he'd had this for as long as he could remember," says Mrs. Hale. Meanwhile, she says, "I think we've all got post-traumatic stress from that four months of screaming and no sleep."

Indeed, months of crying and sleeplessness can take a huge toll on the family, whether it's due to reflux or colic or another cause. "You can talk to parents 25 years later and they'll remember it like it was yesterday," says Barry Lester, director the Colic Clinic at Brown University's Center for the Study of Children at Risk in Providence, R.I. The clinic treats entire families, not just the infant, including consultations with a psychologist or social worker.

"The big danger is in thinking the drug is a magic bullet," Dr. Lester says. "The crying may go away, but the damage to the family dynamic may not."
• Email ____@____.com a discussion on colic and reflux.

The only really advice that I have is have you tried to swaddle him really tight? With my first son I had to swaddle him everytime that we put him to sleep. Another thing I did with my son is during his naps during the day, I would keep him in his bouncy chair or swing. The only time I would put him in his crib is at night time so he would know that that is when he sleeps. He still took naps during the day, but I made sure he was up more during the day with all the household noises and that when bed time came that he was in his quiet room. Hope this helps! By the way I also stay at home and I have a 3 month old and a 2 year old..both boys.

Hi - Have you tried swaddling? We have a 6 month old and it has SAVED us. We wrap him up when he gets cranky and it helps him calm down, sleep and stay asleep. He also likes a paci. Additionally, we started adding oatmeal to his bottle per the dr's advice to help with reflux at about 4 months. This helped with the sleep too. He really slept better when we started oatmeal for dinner (with a spoon) at about 4.5 months. He is otherwise breastfed. I know that solids are controversial at this early age but for our son it was what he needed. He still breastfeeds just as much as he always has, so the fear of "early weaning" from solids was not realized. Also - you could try "sleep feeding" him before you go to bed to give you a few more hours if he will do it. We have never even tried the cry it out thing - I still think my son is too young for it - especially since he seems hungry not "needy" when he wakes. Good luck and hang in there! Things will get better sooN!

First, most 3.5 month olds DO NOT sleep well. It's very unrealistic of us expecting such a small human being to sleep through the night just because the books say he should. Have you tried co-sleeping. I'm not a big fan of it because it has its risks, but it might be what works for your baby until he's older and can handle sleeping better on his own.

I would bring him in your room with you. Bring his crib in your room if you are formula feeding. If you are breastfeeding, then bring him in the bed with you. You will both sleep better being closer to each other. It's how our bodies were designed. You can get more information in the current issue of Mothering Magazine and at www.askdrsears.com. Safe cosleeping is possible if you follow the same guidelines with regards to bedding as you do a crib. Both of my children slept in the bed with me as it facilitates breastfeeding and I always felt safer with regards to SIDS with them next to me where I could feel them breathing. Most of the cosleeping deaths (which are fewer than SIDS in a crib) are due to people sleeping in unsafe places like couches, recliners or waterbeds, or while intoxicated. You don't sound like that kind of mother, so I'd give it a try and see how you sleep. If this is not an option for you at all, then I would try wearing him in a sling or wrap carrier during the day and see how that effects his sleep habits.

Have you tried a white noise machine (or maybe get a white noise CD first to see if it works)? I've heard some people have luck with this esp. with a colicky baby. Our son is sleep resistant in that he has a complete melt down (crying hysterically) before he falls asleep but thankfully he will then sleep for at least 4 hours, usually 6 followed by 4 more. His room is right next to the laundry room and I put on the dryer when he is having trouble. That helps - also running the vaccuum cleaner. We also have a CD player in his room and play classical music or lullabies VERY softly. Also, is he warm enough? I know all of the anti-SIDS things say not too warm (above 72) but our son is seriously cold natured. He woke up every 45 mins. the 1st night he was home. Thankfully a home nurse (coming for his jaundice treatments) told us he was too cold as his temp was only 96 and it should always be 97-99. We started putting 2 layers on him, socks over the feet in his PJs and swaddling him in 2 blankets + a heater in his room. I thought this child is going to be miserable! but no, he was toasty and started sleeping. He still has a heater in his room. It gets below 78ish and he screams - too cold so he calls to be held so he can get body heat. 1 more thing - have you tried him sleeping on his side with a sleep positioner? It's safer than on his tummy and sometimes works as a good compromise (maybe you would feel more comfortable and wouldn't have to check on him so much - which might also be waking him as he can smell you - baby's keenest sense is their sense of smell). I hope something works b/c I know what it's like to be a walking zombie and it's tough esp. for how long you have been doing it. I also know how hard it is without family - we have 0 family near us and no living parents so help is scarce. Hang in there!

I also wanted to say (no offense to anyone) but please don't water down your baby's bottles. Giving an infant water can be quite dangerous! Look it up on the internet. Sounds nuts but true. I had some older ladies telling me to give my son water. I asked the pediatrician and he said "absolutely not!"

I'm a mom of 3, the first one had colic so bad and I never slept. I used to run a dust buster to help her sleep and it worked. Had to buy a new one after 6 months but was well worth it. I also put the mylacon drops in every bottle and that seemed to help with the gas. I learned with the other kids that rice in the bottle was a God send. I know that the doc's say no to it, but they are not up all night and feel like a zombie. My kid's were all healthy and I found that they were just starved. Especially the boy, once I gave him some food it changed my life. At wallmart they have an infant feeder called a nubby. Just mix some rice with applesauce from a jar of baby food with some milk and feed it to your little one before bed. Mine started sleeping all night once I started that. Good luck to you and wishing you a good night sleep. Remember this does not last forever and you will sleep again.

K.

I literally have no time to share with you all that I could, but if you have the chance, go buy "the Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems," and it will walk you through what you need to do. Believe me, it works! The author is Tracy Hogg. Best wishes!

I'm sorry L., but unfortunately that was my experience too. My son, who is turning 2, slept for 20 minutes at a time when I placed him on his back to sleep, by 2 months I could not take it anymore. I started placing him on his tummy to sleep (and he is fine, don't let all of the medical research scare you). I got this monitor that you place between the bottom of the mattress and the bottom of the bed. I had a co-sleeper, so it fit perfectly when the sides were up. This machine monitored his breathing and if he stopped, it would beep to alert you. It gave me piece of mind about placing him on his tummy to sleep.

His actual sleeping was a different story. He did not sleep through the night for the first time until he was about 15 months old. Even then it was sporadic. He was up every two hours until he turned 1. The doctor told me that it was because I was still nursing during the night. Since your child is 3 1/2 months, if you are still nursing then you can expect that. But if your child takes formula, I have heard that they should begin sleeping through the night at 4 months. Like I said, my son will be 2 in a couple of weeks and thank goodness he now sleeps through the night (but wakes up at 4:30am everyday, like clockwork).

Sleep deprivation is real. Take Care! Good Luck!

Hi. I had to sleep on the sofa in a sitting position for a month with my daughter. Try placing him in his carseat (belted in of course) to sleep, if he has colic, or reflux, then he shouldn't be laying down. Place the carseat inside of a playpen or the crib (with the mattresson the lowest setting) so that it can't fall over.

M.

Maybe that is just it, when it is quiet at night when he wakes up, he gets alarmed. Toss the toys and other noise makers, just keep the normal house sounds going in the evenings.

If you have air purifier, you can use that, since it will also be on at night.

My suggestion is put him down at 7pm and walk out if you feed him to sleep that is part of the prob. always make sure he's awake when you lay him down. That way he's not wanting your help going back to sleep. If he's making noise that brings you in at night make sure he's actually crying. Not wining. I watch children and alot of parents hear the first noise and go right in when EVERYONE Wakes up during the night. It doesn't mean we need anything. If you go in and put him back to sleep or interact with him you will teach him he needs it and after a while he will start (if he hasn't already) to wake to get the attention. At 3mo. he is capable of sleeping through the night. He doesn't need food anymore at night (unless he's a preemie) Saying this what you need to do to stop is. Start watering down his bottles and stop talking and interacting with him during feedings. Don't turn the light on, have a night light instead. Make the mood Sleeeeep... Each evening water his bottle down a little more (if you bottle feed) Make the wakings not worth his while. You are just for filling a need.... and after a week or so of watered down bottles (after a while it should be completely water)He will become uninterested in waking up because he doesn't need food, he's not wanting water and he wants interaction and talking and lights he wants it to be day time... Good luck

Hi L.,
I know exactly how you feel. My 10 month old has never been a good sleeper and I recently had to resort to the Ferber method. I swore up and down that I would never use a "cry it out method." Up through 7.5 months, my son was waking up every two hours and sometimes every 45 minutes. I just needed to get some sleep and I had tried everything else (co-sleeping, etc). The Ferber method worked well until he started teething 4 weeks later, then I didn't sleep the next 6-8 weeks. I was always worried that he would be mad at me or not want to be with me in the morning - not true! He is actually happier and very excited to see me when it's time to get up. It has also helped with the daytime naps, too. We re-Ferberized him this past weekend and last night he slept from 7:30 until 5:45 am! A record for him. I understand the Ferber method isn't something you are interested in; I don't know if you have read the book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by him, but it is helpful to have a concrete plan in writing. My husband went in every 30 seconds at first just to make sure our son knew he wasn't alone; then we increased it to a minute, then three minutes, etc. The longest time we had to go in and out of his room was 27 minutes. A more gentle approach that I didn't know about until after we had used the Ferber Method is one by Kim West: "Good Night, Sleep Tight." She uses a method called The Sleep Lady Shuffle. You may be interested in that approach. Any time your baby isn't getting exactly what he wants, he will cry...so any method will involve some displeasure by your child. The important thing to remember is this: you need to show your child that you have plan - they feel safe when you are completely in control; and, sometimes he cries when he has his diaper changed, right, and you still change his diaper...this is the same thing...you are doing what is good for him. No one can tell you when your baby will sleep through the night, I kept waiting for it to happen on its own and it never did. When you and your baby are ready to embark on any sleep training method, you will know.

It always helped me to know that I wasn't alone...there are several moms out there that are up all night, too.

Good Luck!
L.

We went through a period simiar to this. My 2nd son would only sleep in our bed with us. I could rock him to sleep for an hour and as soon as his head hit the crib mattress, he was up screaming again. Being at my wits end, I would just bring him in bed with us. It was the only way anyone would get any sleep!

Anyhow, a few things you could try:
- Feed him a larger amount at bedtime. Could he be waking up hungry?
- I recall many evenings of rocking my son in his car carrier until he fell asleep. I would also set the carrier on my knees and bounce it. He would sleep in it all night. We would just prop it so he would be reclined in it. I think the size of it made him feel cozier and more secure than the vastness of his crib. We could also set the carrier right in his crib so he could associate the crib with sleeping.

Let us know what you try and how it goes! Hang in there, it won't last forever.

some times we would put our son in the swing and that would help him sleep, i would also let him sit there and watch baby einstines he loved that (still loves that show)

also try feeding him more, put a little cereal into his milk to make it thicker.

some babies go threw their food sauce really fast.

i live near odenton if you would like to get together let me know.

My daughter was like this. It's SO hard, because you think by this time it should be getting a little better, right? I wouldn't start any cry it out until much later--at the VERY least, 5 months.

Have you swaddled your child?

Hi L.,

I know how you feel! Things that worked for us were a Sleep Sound machine from Hammacher Schlemmer (it's white noise, which worked better than fan noise, music or nature sounds) and a Miracle Blanket (swaddles their arms by their sides -- sometimes a loose arm is what startles them awake). To second someone else, please don't give your baby water. It can dilute his blood to dangerous levels. If your family doesn't have allergies, you might try mixing a little rice cereal with breastmilk or formula around 4 months; that might help. Also, try not to go in his room at the first sound -- give him a few minutes to try to put himself back to sleep. I think 3-1/2 months is too early to let him cry it out, though. Breastfed babies don't normally sleep through the night (or even more than 4-5 hours at a time) until later. Good luck!

Hi L.:
I have a 9 month old and just went through 8 months of my baby girl waking me every 1-2 hours. I was a very tired too of course. There is not much I could do to stop her from waking, until I read the book How to Solve your Child's Sleep Problems by Ferber. The bottom line that Ferber points out is often a baby who is put to sleep in a different location from where he(she) wakes up at is going to wake up fussing and crying because their surroundings are different from where they were put down. They do wake up around 11 pm, 2 am, and 5 am from non-rem sleep light wake up periods. It helped me alot when I started putting Jessica to sleep in the same place, her crib as she would wake up. It really helped alot. Try giving him toys in the crib that are safe and a lovey and see if all this helps! Good Luck! KW