Advice on Almost 8 Year Old Who Wets at Night

I would love to hear what you learn. I have a 5 1/2 year old who is in the same boat and we have tried with no luck. I would love to hear others' suggestions!

This has been dealt with before on this site. But if you missed it, try a company called Pacific International. I was part of it many years ago. A tried and true method that will make it all go away. Good luck.
A.

I was in the same boat as you. My daughter wet the bed most nights until a few months ago. She's 9.
First, remember it's not your son's fault. He can't help it and he probably feels bad about it. Try to make it a non-issue.

There are a few reasons why this may be happening. Check with your doctor to see if it's anything medical but here's what we found out about our daughter.

A person's body creates a hormone that sends a signal to one's body at night to tell it not to create pee while sleeping. In some people, this takes a little bit longer to develop. One just has to wait it out.

Also, his bladder muscles may not yet be as developed as they need to be. Have him do kegels. Don't really know if it works, but it couldn't hurt.

Some people just take longer to learn how to stay dry at night. The important thing to remember is that he will grow out of it, one out of 10 kids have this problem, so although no one talks about it at school, there are some other kids with the same problem. He's not being bad, so don't make him feel bad.

Maybe try waking him up before you go to bed and having him pee. Then when he's done peeing, ask him to try again to get that extra bit out. That's what my daughter's doctor suggested we do. Don't know if it helped, but she always peed.

It sucks to do laundry every day. Teach your son that when he wakes up w/ pee sheets to take his sheets off right away and put them in the laundry. that way his room won't be stinky.

Good luck. He'll grow out of it.

Look on the net for nobedwetting.com. The Enuresis Treatment Center has taken care of this problem for us. They can give you all the information you need. You can even call and they will talk to you or have someone call you and explain the program and see if your child fits into the category that they help. The phone number is ###-###-####. It really works if your problem is the same as ours.Tell them K. Wilson recommended that you talk to them. We had done everything and nothing worked until this. After reading all the responses, it seems that this program incorporates all the good ideas listed except any drugs. It is completely drug free and is based on the fact that the child sleeps too deeply and is unable to wake up and it runs in families. Good Luck!

We take our 7 year old to the bathroom before we go to sleep. It helps a lot. If bed wetting has been in the family it could last until 10 or so. Good luck and remember, It wont last forever:)

I knew somone who would wake their child up around 1 or 2 am and have him go to the bathroom until the child woke up on his own and went at night.

If your child goes around teh same time every night, try to wake him about 30 minutes before and have him go. It's a little work on your part, but it beats washing bedding everynight.

good luck...

Have you heard about the synthetic hormone DDAVP? (I'm not sure if the initials are correct, but your pediatrician should know about it). My daughter took it for awhile and it cured her bed wetting. She took it several years ago and I learned about it from another mother that had older bed wetters. It eliminated a lot of aggravation for my daughter and me and made our mornings a lot happier.

Good luck. Francesca

C.,

This has to do with a certain hormone that helps to produce less urine at night in children. Most common in boys, tho' it can be an occassional problem with girls, it's just something he will grow out of in time. For some boys it's earlier than others...for others it can last into their teens.

What has worked with our 7 yr old son is waking him up right before we go to bed and having him go at about 11pm. That seems to hold him till morning. Occassionally he'll wake himself up around 10-11 and go by himself and sometimes he'll make it all night if he goes to bed later than normal. There are still the occassional accidents but we have a pad on the bed so it usually works out easily.

So use the pull ups if you have to (they even have the underware type now that look like boxers so he'll be less embarrassed around anyone not close family) and you may want to try the way we do it and see if it helps him.

Whatever you do please don't shame him. It is not him being lazy or slow or whatever...it's a hormone he has no control over.

take care!
C.

First and foremost ... take him to the doctor and rule out any serious medical conditions.

One of the questions our doctor asked when we started talking about it for my oldest son "Has he ever been dry at night for an extended period of time?" This is an important question. If the answer is YES .. then there's something going on, either emotional or physical that's NEW. If the answer is NO then chances are that everything isn't at the same level, maturity wise.

With my son we opted for the DDAVP. He could spend the night at friend's houses without embarassement or shame or having to worry about his "pull up" being found. And it meant he was getting better sleep. For my son ... two things were a factor. One was family history, I had a brother and an uncle who wet for quite a while (the uncle into his early 20's occasionally). The other was him having the body of a 12 yr old when he was about 8, his adrenal gland was still that of an 8 yr olds, while his bladder was that of a 12 yr olds. At least that's how the Dr. explained it to me.

He's now 15, off the ddavp and still now and then wets the bed. We simply change the sheets when he wakes up and have a plastic protector on the mattress.

But before doing anything else ... talk to the doctor.

Hello
Traditional Chinese Medicine can treat Bed wetting and is done with herbal remedy, massage or acupuncture. Check if your sons back or lower abdomen is colder then the rest of his back or stomach. Fear or heavy sleeping can be the cause. any other questions you can email me.

thanks
Jennifer French L.Ac
www.pearlmoon.us

I too have an 8 year old son who still wets, although in the past two months it has been very few times. Before this, he would wet sometimes twice a night, even though we were getting him up to go around midnight. I always have him pee before he gets into bed, and I also always made sure that I never made a big deal out of it if he happened to wet his bed. He refused to wear the pullups, so I understand your frustration with doing a lot of laundry! It's exhausting......It does appear now that he is finally growing out of this, and I have always been a believer that some kids' bladders don't develop as quickly as others, therefore, they need the time to "catch up."

You should check with your pediatrician to rule out anything major, but I doubt it's anything other than just his own bodies development. One way to help him is to wake him up within the first 2 hours after he falls asleep to have him go to the bathroom. Apparently the first couple of hours after they fall asleep is supposed to be the best time to get them up to go to the bathroom.

Good luck, and remember that your son is not alone with this problem. Many kids go through this, it's just not talked about a whole lot.

Might want to get him checked out. One early symptom of juvenile diabetes is frequent urination, regardless how much they drink. My mom took me to the doctor when I started wetting the bed again at six after years of no problems. Turns out I was diabetic and fortunately they were able to diagnose and start treatment before any permanent damage was done.

Granted its probably NOT diabetes, as its pretty rare, but still, something to ask about if nothing else seems to work.

Talk to your child's doctor about DDAVP it is a nasal spray that I have used succesfully with two of my children.

Good luck

My son was also almost 8 years old back in April, when I read a note here on Mamasource from a mother looking for help with her 8-year-old son with his overnight wetting. Several of the responses she received highly recommended the Malem bedwetting alarm. I googled it and promptly bought one. Three months later, my son's bedwetting had stopped completely! I was amazed that the bedwetting could stop so quickly, but the theory behind the alarm makes sense--in some kids, the signal from the bladder to the brain isn't working smoothly just yet, so when the bladder gets full, it doesn't signal the brain and so, the child doesn't wake up to go. The alarm trains the bladder to signal the brain, to the point where the alarm no longer becomes needed after several weeks.
It was such a relatively painless process for all us, including our son, that we just wish we'd known of the Malem alarm sooner! Next up is our 6-year-old daughter once school is again underway (it's good to start using the alarm in structured circumstances).
Whatever you end up doing, the Malem manual that comes with the alarm recommends "double voiding," having your child go to the bathroom 30 minutes before bedtime and then again right at bedtime. Works like a charm!
Good luck!

Hi.. Well the only thing I can tell you is what worked for me. When my daughter was staying dry through the day she would always be soaking during the night untill I finally said ok thats it when this package of pull-ups is done I'm not buying any more. The last night she wore them they were soaking but the next night without the pull-ups no accident. I told her everynight leading up to the last one "ok we only have 5 left" then the next night " ok we only have 4 left" and so on untill the last night I told her "ok this is your last night". I wish you all the luck.

A little about me:

38 years old mom of 2 girls 16 and 12 years old. Married for 17 years and a stay at home mom.

Hi, I did everything you mentioned with my oldest daughter, when she was 7. I also tryed the nasal mist. None of it was especially effective. The one thing that did work was an alarm. It turns out she was just a deep sleeper & not hearing her body's message. The first week, I had to get up everytime I heard the alarm & help her to the toilet, because she was groggy, but after less than 2 weeks she was waking up & going.

Good luck!

Hi C.,
I had 2 sons who wet the bed. The first one now in his 30's did so till adolescence. The second one now in his 20's was around 8 but that was because I went to a urologist & got him help. I did not want him to go through what his older brother did. It is so hard on a child who wets the bed. They can't help it sometimes as with my boys their bladders don't grow as fast as most so they need the extra help. The doctor was wonderful & it was only a few years & he didn't need the medication any more. I hope this helps.

Well, my experience may be totally different, but I wet the bed until I was 12 until my dad finally started waking me up in the middle of the night and sending me to the bathroom. It jerked my brain and body out of the habit of wetting, I began to wake up on my own for the next few nights, and I soon was able to hold my bladder all night. Sounds like a simple solution, but it worked. I'm no doctor, but taking the pull-ups off sounds like a very intuitive step in the right direction of making him more conscious of what his body is doing.

Another thing to consider is that although your son could simply have some temporary bladder-to-brain coordination (which is most likely the case), often when kids are wetting the bed beyond kindergarten there are emotional reasons. They could be very simple ones, like being picked on by a bully at school, feeling intimidated by a teacher, or not knowing how to read as well as other kids in the class. Or they could be more complex reasons like not knowing how to deal with the loss of a parent or a sibling, or feeling fearful of an abusive parent or family member. Usually the bed-wetting is an expression of feeling intimidated by someone or something.

If you sense that there are some fears going on in his life that are a little too big for his 8-year-old heart and mind to process, maybe you could do a some motherly digging and see what could be troubling him--or you may already know what it is. Every child expresses worry differently, as I'm sure you know. That's what mommies and daddies are for--to help soothe and take charge!

I wish you the best, and hope you don't think I'm accusing you of bad parenting just because your little one is wetting the bed. You're 4 years ahead of my parents and they are wonderful people. I just know that kids are so sensitive to the crazy world they live in, we sometimes don't pick up on what simple (or complex) thing could be bothering them. Hopefully it's nothing!

Good luck!

My son just turned 8 and he still wets the bed as does his 4-1/2 year old sister. I was a bedwetter off and on until I was around 7. We just purchased the bed wetting alarm. Have only been using it for 5 days, but at least my son is now waking up realizing that he is wet. That's supposed to be the first stage to eliminating bed wetting. Hope this works!

Talked to Dr. to rule out any medical problems, he said that some kids just take longer to develop stronger bladder muscles and need to train to recognize the need to pee during the night.

Sounds like your child could possibly have a sleep disorder called Enuresis. It is where the child sleeps so deeply that their body tries to wake them up by overloading their bladder with urine. This doesn't work, because the brain is not concious enough to tell the child to wake up and go to the bathroom. If you have ever experienced a dream where you were on the toilet...that was your brain trying to get you out of a deep level of sleep. Your body created excess urine to pull you out of it. This deep sleep in NON REM. You don't dream...which is done during REM. Without the proper amount of REM sleep your body can not rejuvinate properly. You wake up feeling tired...sometimes more tired than you did when you went to bed. This needs to be properly diagnosed, but there are programs to help. Our son went through a program that lasted six month. Had to sleep in the nude from the wait down and there was a pad in his bed that had an connected to it. If it got wet the alarm would go off, I would have to wake him, check to see how big the wet spot was...mark it down on paper...have my son wash his hands and face...use the restroom...wash his hands again...and go back to bed after helping me clean the pad. After a month or two he would have to tell me the time when I woke him and I would ask the next day what time it was. It is important that they remember getting up in the middle of the night...to insure that they weren't just sleep walking. It won't work if they don't wake up all the way. Each month there was some new thing to remember for the next morning. It took six months till he was declared dry. It was very exciting for all of us. He is now almost 16 and has been dry ever since then. When not treated, the bladder gets big enough to hold the urine...but the sleep problem is never corrected and the person suffers for many years with poor sleep...causing health problems in the long run. I hope this is not too much info. Good luck!!!

my girl is 10 yrs old and she was in pull ups -may i add she just got out of them iknow its a pain to buy pull ups all the time but they do grow out of . i was 11 yrs. old when i stopped- embassasing i know - but nothing to be affraid of

We spoke with the pediatrician about our 9 year old boy who still wets. Basically, he said, my son would grow out of it. He suggested if we really wanted to spend the money, we could try one of the alarm pads that makes noise when it gets wet, but that it's also just something the body has to mature enough for.
It's been frustrating for my son, because his six year old sister has been dry since she was 3. It's getting better though, now he only wets about five nights out of seven! :)

You should get a bed-wetting alarm. Ask your pediatrician. They cost about $50. Get the one that makes a VERY loud noise, not the one that vibrates. I used it when my son was 9; it only took about 2 weeks before he was dry all night. Trying to make him "conscious" doesn't work. Trust me; he's more frustrated and upset than you. He just sleeps too hard for the urge to pee to wake him up. The alarm helps make that connection in his brain.

C., I was reminded recently by my mom that I had wet the bed until around that age, and so I was curious to read this post and the responses to see if anyone else had written about being scared at night. Without going into all the detail, I can remember clearly how afraid I was of the closet, the dressers, and the only slightly opened door leading into the dark hallway. I would wake up, knowing full well I needed to go to the bathroom, and terrify myself into believing that I would be attacked (as would my family) by cartoon-style monsters! So, I peed and let everyone believe I just couldn't control it, rather than admit to being terrified to get up and walk to the bathroom by myself. They took me to a doctor and I was not prescribed meds, but it was the 70's. I would have probably taken them if they would have made my imagination stop.

Before this reads like a Sedaris over-disclosure, something to consider if you haven't already done so is nightlights, sleeping nearby, bright hallway lights, or even sharing the bed (I know, scary for you). I have no idea how I finally got over this fear, but from my perspective, I remember clear as a bell that I was terrified by my imagination and would rather pee than brave darkness on my own. Logically, I knew that blubbery, purple monsters did not exist, but at night, logic is tired and fuzzy, and kid brains really believe in what may be in the blurry dark. Ultimately, I think my mom let me share the bed in my parents' room but I'm not sure how I grew out of it. Good luck and your little guy will grow out of it eventually. Consider going in to wake him up for a pee so he doesn't have to wake up by himself at night.

Hi C..

I too have 2 sons and my almost 8 year-old (8 in October) wet the bed every night up until 4 months ago. I don't know why, but one day we just noticed, "how long has it been since you wet your bed?" It had been almost a month and we didn't even notice.

I also stopped the pull-ups on advice of our pediatrician. It still took a while and he slept through the wetness almost every night. In the middle of the night I would give him a towel to cover the wet spot and made him wash his own sheet in the morning. Not to punish him, but to make him more aware. One day it just kicked in. He went 2 months straight without wetting, then had an accident once about every two weeks after that. We don't make a big deal, just give him the towel to cover it, and then he does't wet again for a while. My pediatrician said it is normal till about 9 years old in some kids.

It is a pain to go through, but looking back it wasn't as bad as it seemed at the time. I think your son will grow out of it. Hang in there. I'm also a single mom, so the lack of sleep is the hardest part.

One other thing that may have helped was a planned trip to Marine World once he stayed dry for an entire month.

My son was older too when we finally got him to stop wetting at night. He sleeps so soundly that he would not wake up. Finally I invested in this alarm called the "Sleep Dry Alarm" and I am telling you, I wish I had bought it earlier. I am now saving it for my second son who has the fullest pull ups ever at night, and I limit drinks and all that stuff too with no impact. It is about $55 but your child will be out of the pull ups within a month! It is an alarm that hooks to the childs shirt near their shoulder and then a wire runs to the underwear with a snap and I would attach the snap to the outer part of the access panel of some briefs at night so that the snap was not uncomfortable for my son. (He would not feel something wierd in his pants, you know) When the child starts to wet the moisture makes an electrical connection between the snaps (one is inside and one is outside the underwear) the moisture sets off the alarm, the child stops wetting usually immediately, and you have to come in and help them get to the bathroom and possibly change some bedding and underwear. After a couple of weeks the child will start to wake up before the alarm goes off and eventually you will stop using the alarm all together as it will be clear it is not needed. You can get one at this website for a decent price.

www.grogans.com/servlet/shop?cmd=I&id=STARSLEEPDRY

I would usually set up the bed for one change (to keep myself from having to work to hard in the middle of the night) I used a large "lap pad" type thing that I had used under the sheet in his crib in case he did not wake up immeidately, but after a couple of alarms he rarely need much more than an change of clothes.

Good Luck! J.

Hi C.,
A lot of kids your son's age that have this problem respond really well to chiropractic care. I'd be happy to explain why, just drop me a line or give me a call!
good luck!
L.

L. Clum, DC
Oakland Specific Chiropractic
###-###-####

He will grow out of it. Some kids just take longer to mature -
bladder/nervous system/depth of sleep. Likely you or his father had a similar problem - it runs in families. Just let him use pull ups until he is dry most of the time. If he is concerned about it, you can talk to his pediatrician about a bell/pad system that helps him learn to wake up when he needs to urinate.