Advice from Any Mother with Information on ADHD

I just started reading a book called Love and Logic. I have heard great things about the techniques in this book, you might see if that helps.

Sounds like she is on the wrong med.. My son first started on Adderall at 7yrs.. he cried, social skills still lacked, etc-- same as what you are describing... After about 4 months, we switched to Ritalin LA (the slow release kind) and it's great!! He'll be 11 in July, and he is still on Ritalin..My best friend's son doesn't do well on the same med my son is on... I think it really depends on the child... You might try a different medication and see if it helps.

I have a nephew that is ADHD also. He excels in sports. It is a way for him to release extra energy in a positive way. He is also on the medications. You can definitely tell when he is not on them. My sister has taken him to a specialist as well. Good luck with this.

I have an 11 year old boy, whom is ADHD/Bipolar. We have been on several different medications and we have finally found one called abilify 2mg; this works. He too would throw fits, say he had no friends, if he did have any friends he would push them away, cry for the littlest things, argue with me and dad all the time about everything, back talk, etc. I was a parent whom did not believe in medicating my child, but he was and still is seeing a child phychologist and child phychaitrist. These visits help him to get stuff out and not hold it in, not every child is the same so different medications react differently for children. Getting the right medication was a struggle, but a lot of prayers and faith got us through. I wish you all the best with this.

I've read some of the responses you've received and a few people have indicated that this doesn't sound like ADHD. There are distinct differences between those children who are hyper-active and those children who have focus problems. My son has been diagnosed with ADHD since he was in kindergarten. At first, I kept struggling with the diagnosis because it felt like - he was just being a boy, or just needed more discipline. He is ten now and this is what we have learned and have had a remarkable turnaround in our family. 1) I 100% agree -- you MUST keep everything positive around your granddaughter. There are so many self esteem issues and with an already tough age -- positive re-inforcement and approach to all situations makes a tremendous difference. In school, my son has accommodations and one of them is that he is rewarded positively for staying on task rather than being disciplined or counseled negatively when he is off task. 2) Family behavior counseling -- for all of these years, my son was just like your granddaughter. We went to a psychologist who gave us the skills on how to create the right structure and positive discipline for our son. We now have a child who does not argue, who says yes m'am and yes sir to requests, who generally has a good attitude. We have implemented alot of rewards and incentives for good choices in behavior. 3) LIMIT TV and SUGAR. Without a doubt the biggest thing we did -- we canceled cable in our house except our bedroom. He can watch videos occassionally. It was a complete withdrawal at first. It was hard to go through. He literrally cried every day. Now - we are a household where he has to engage in a board game, riding his bike, playing with toys... etc. After tracking his diet it was clear that he was loaded with sugar. His appetite is suppressed already due to the medication he takes (concerta) and then he was a picky eater. Very simple -- I just stopped buying it. Again, he cried at every meal. He begged, he negotiated. We weaned him into it. He has whole grains, fruits, vegetables, milk, -- healthy snacks - cheese, raisins, granola bars.

When we got serious about providing a very strong STRUCTURE, with accountability for his choices, limiting tv, changing diet... everything started coming together. He has a best friend for first time ever. He has been bringing home A's and B's instead of F's. It was hard for all of us ... but it can be done. God Bless and good luck!!

I have a step son with ADHD and he lived with us from 5th to 8th grade. I found that with him in order for us to have a good day he needed ALOT of positive feedback from me, and structure. When I was upset with his behavior and lashed out on him negatively or engaged him in an argument the whole day would down spiral. It's hard to learn how to deal with an argumentative child in a positive way but I would have to put my thick skin on and stick to my guns without engaging him in the battle(whatever it was) Also, some of the characteristics you are describing are so typical for an 11 year old girl! This age is where I noticed my kids changing alot and becoming very dramatic, so being 11 and adding the ADHD probably is making her more challanging. Something else I'll throw out there, even though this may not apply to her, is ADHD is an umbrella type diagnosis and usually other things accompany it. In my step sons case it is oppostional defiance disorder, or ODD. If you think this might be the case I would strongly recomend her mother getting a book that explains what that is and how to cope with it. It really helps to have an understanding of what your dealing with. Yes, there is hope for your grandaughter. She will probably grow into a wonderfull adult. Kids like her and my step son learn the hard way but we already see an incredible improvement in him now that he is 16. My thoughts and prayers go out to your grandaughter and her mother.

I have a daughter who was diagnosed with AD/HD. Unfortunatly, this was when she was 15. She took the meds for a while. Quit taking them because she didn't like how they made her feel. My advice..read up on AD/HD. Most of what you are describing isn't AD/HD... Sounds like she needs more disipline and structure.....which is what these kids really need. There are some wonderful books out there. I read several of them...I'm sorry but I can't remember the names of the books. She is now 26 and a mother of 3. She is taking college courses online and doing well.

Also, I have a son who was a terror when he was little...his problem was food allergies. It seem that we live in a society that wants to solve problems with a pill. I have known a few kids that have been diagnosed AD/HD and it has been something else. I would go to a specialist. Find out if she really is AD/HD. If so, they can help you structure your lives. The last thing that you want is trouble in school at this age. Hope this helps some. My email address is ____@____.com if you have anymore questions ot if you just want a sounding board. Good luck!!!

Hi B.,
I have a grown daughter, 27, who was finally diagnoised with ADD at the age of 9. We experienced some of the most painful growing years ever. She had a very difficult time managing friends and still today has to work at her relationshilp with her husband. One thing that we learned is that you have to have eye contact because the things you say are distorted by the time they reach and register in her brain. Our daughter was seen by several doctors before we found the most educated doctor concerning ADD. His name is Dr. Ben Raimer (he was once the Adminsitrator at UTMB in Galveston)and he is in Texas City. The medication they put them on sometimes is a bigger problem than the ADD is. We finally found a med that worked and it was called Cylert (it waoked the best for Katie). There are several links on line to educate yourself with dealing with ADD children and I think Clear Lake Hospital has a support group to help you in dealing with ADD children. Only 1 out of every 10 ADD children are girls and it is rare they have the hyperactivity with it. Do some reach and make sure she is on the correct meds or possibly get a second opinion. I do remember how difficult school was for Katie and sometimes I thought we would never get through it. Good Luck and my prayers are with you.

Hi B.,

I can identify with how you feel,my 12 year old son is ADD and we struggle with it every day. My son doesn't have all the behavior problems as your grand daughter because he is ADD not AD/HD. My son has trouble focusing in school so they want me to medicate him to help him focus. I really am struggling with that, I hate drugging my child daily and trying to teach him not to do drugs at the same time.
I have looked for alternative ways to deal with this problem and this is what I have found.
There is a doctor at the Peoples Farmacy on the corner of 183 and 620 in Austin who is a homeopathic doctor his name is Dr. James he is there on wed. sat. and sun. he believes as I do that ADD and ADHD are caused by a virus in the brain. Don't you think this makes sense? haven't you wondered what causes ADD and AD/HD and why the drugs have to be changed? it's because the virus adapts to the drug.
Dr. James will perscribe a safe natural solution for not only ADD but for ear infections, alergies etc. We have been trying his meds and my son seems soooooo much better already and we have only been using the new meds for two months. We don't fight,he's polite WOW.
Dr James is also a wonderful chiropractor and gives a wonderful massage and adjustment for only $20.00 so when you go see him do something for you and your grandaughter, kids should be adjusted too. He doesn't charge for perscribing medacine for anyone. Dr James is the kind of Dr. Doctors should be.

The link I have given you below is for Kirk Martin and he does seminars on ADD and ADHD children and teaches people how to deal with these kids. He has great advice and sends regular emails to help you deal properly with your children DRUG FREE! sign up for his free newsletters I promise you will like them and you may want to get some tapes. The tapes are great and my son loved them, when they were playing my son said "he's talking about me isn't he mom" and watched all the tapes intently. It teaches them how to best deal with their emotions without a psychiatrist and spending endless ammounts of money.
You can contact him directly at this e-mail address and he will respond and tell what he recommends or when he is doing a ceminar in your area and he will come and do a ceminar in your school for all the kids and "teachers" to help them understand themselves and your child. You can trust him he is wonderful.

good luck and if you have any questions or want to let me know how things go you can reach me at ____@____.com

Thanks W.

www.CelebrateCalm.com

Hi B.! I'm the mom of a 10yo boy with ADHD/Bipolar. I understand your struggles! Mine goes through the same issues. One bit of advice the school counselors have given him this year that really seems to sink is this:

Growing friendships is like growing flowers. You must first PLANT the seeds and watch them develop into beautiful flowers. Cultivating friendships will take time because of his friends not willing to 'trust' that he wants to be a friend. There are 3 ways that he can plant the seeds for friendships. Then he must wait patiently for the other kids to see that he genuinely WANTS to be a friend!

1. Pay compliments.
2. Respect other people's space.
3. Listen to their words and body language.

He seems to grasp these 3 concepts. Hope it helps for you. We are on lots of meds, see psychologists & psychiatrists. This has helped the most with trying to develop relationships with his peers.

Good luck!
~A.

Hi B.,
Dr. Phil has a great partner on his show who is a specialist with ADHD and he wrote a book called "The ADHD Factor", by Dr. Frank Lawlis. I have a sister who is ADD/ADHD and this would have been great for my mom. He talks about changing their diet, I don't believe he is a big fan of medicine, he likes the more natural path. Hope this helps!
God Bless,
K.

ADHD is a very controversial subject, especially to medicate or not to medicate. While the long term side effects of the medications can be scary, my son's behavior was not controlable with out it. All I can say is the parents of children they could control without medication must not have it as bad as my son. Balancing the medication is hard, and it seems to require constant adjestments. Her mom should get a notebook and write down what medications she has tried, and her reaction. Sometimes one medicine won't work, then years later it will be the only one that does. Therapy helps too. But it does have to be the right therapist. If there isn't some sort of chemistry between them, there is a better therapist to be had. Raising a child with ADHD can be very difficult, but there is help, and it can get better.

This doesnt sound like AD/HD. It sounds like something else. My duaghter has AD/HD and she cant stop moving, talking, playing, or singing. She has to move 24/7. She has been on Adderall for several years and has never had a problem with mood swings, the only problem she has had is her weight she is very skinny for her age group.
I would seek professional help.

I have a 12 year old daughter and she has ADD ( not the hyper part) Just the inattentive part. There is a lot of stuff on the web to research and one of the most important things is that at the onset of puberty the meds may need to be change because of hormonal changes in the body. Behavior modification is the best thing and maybe some counselling as there is a lot to deal with. One thing our counselor said and Dr Phil is that you have to find their currency(ie....phone privilages tv friends visiting internet time video games and so on) finding what works and being consistent.
Our daughter played us like a fiddle. Throwing fits and such and then maybe after a while we give in jsut to try to make things better but it always backfired on us. Once she got her way she would become rude and hateful to us again and throw her fits. A few weeks ago it was the last straw and we took away all her privilages and started treating her the age of the fit she was throwing. Like screaming and throwing a fit got time out like she was 5 or 6 and so on. We took away her time to go outside except when we were there with her and only while we were there. Took away her TV and friend time and gave her extra chores she was grounded for 2 1/2 weeks due to time being added for her disrespect and such. she didn't like any of it but si learning that the screaming and all is not going to cut it at this house. She has to use respect to get respect. It takes time and persaverance to kepp it up and you will see results. I know if we don't get this undercontrol now it is only going to get worse and we will all pay the price. They need and crave boundries to know they are LOVED even though they fight them all the way. We also had to teach her how to interact with others because of our battles and battleground had taught her that was the way to deal with people we had to re-teach her how to be friendlky and not be ready for a battle at the drop of a hat. She still has her moments and by far this is not the end she will always be pushing the limits we set, but if we are strong she and we will be fine through this and she will come out of it a much better person.
I hope this gives you a few ideas and remember it takes 100 ata girls to overcome one disparaging word from us. We are not perfect either and make mistakes but children really do learn what they live and we have to be willing to go the extra mile to change what we can to make a better life for our families.
Thanks Jill

Please check the book
wildest colts make the best horses.
it will help!!!!

Hi B.,
There is hope for your daughter. I was a teacher before being a stay at home mom and ADHD is very common these days. I have studied the issue and a lot of our problems these days are linked to what we eat everyday and the chemicals we bring in to our home. I personally, for this reason, have gotten rid of all the toxins in my home. I would also see what side affects the medication she is on causes. I would go for a natural way to change her. Visit my web site and I would love to help you out.

B.
www.switchingstores.com/formyson

You may want to check out bio-feedback as an option. There are some amazing results with these. My 8 year old was just recently officially diagnosed with ADD (even though we knew he had it all along...) The psychologist recommended trying bio-feedback. I am in the process of insurance verification, etc. It's a better option that meds in my opinion.

Wow, this is a really good thread of information. I've learned a lot reading about ADD/ADHD today. I hope some of this advice/info has helped you or encouraged you. My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD/Impulsivity when she was in first grade. She would mess with kids' work at her Montessori school and throw fits and argue, mainly at home. She was better at school but just pestered other kids. She had a bit of a speech impediment and the other kids told her she was a baby and all of this played a toll on her self esteem. We finally took her in to a child psychologist and she was diagnosed with ADHD. They did an IQ test on her while she was there and she was 99 percentile which explained her pestering the other kids and messing with their work... her mind is always going 90 miles an hour and she finishes her work quickly and gets bored to the point where she doesn't know what to do or how to handle herself. I put her on meds for ADHD and that was just awful. When we got her class photos back in first grade, I wanted to cry. She looked like a little junkie with sunken eyes and a sideways, sad smile. At the time, I also felt like if she needed more, I tested her for the GT program and she got into that. I was feeling that she needed more stimulus, more work, more challenge. That seemed to help with so many things. She hated taking the meds and we worked on changing her diet, based on some things I had read. I understand that there are misfires in the brain with these kids. There are things that can help, like fish oils and such. I read a lot about food allergies, things like sugar and red dye. I noticed that if she ate red jello with real sugar, she would go crazy and start acting like a maniac. We stay away from that pretty much. I notice any amount of sugar makes her very cranky and have noticed that now in my 3 year old. We put her in Kung Fu and I noticed right away that she was more calm and peaceful, especially right after she works out. This has been good for her self esteem as well. She still doesn't take no for an answer and sasses and is disrespectful. We used to have the token system in place or would take her "currency" away she acted up. I tried time outs, etc. She wants to play on her computer or something electronic all the time, to stimulate her mind constantly, but we only allow 30 minutes a day, or weekends she gets more time. I am going to get back on the token system with chores, in that she does certain things around the house, including be respectful, and she gets tokens. She can spent her tokens, worth 15 minutes each, on the computer or some other device, such as t.v. or Nintendo or Wii. She reads all the time and we'd better have a book in the car or anywhere or she goes into a panic. I did notice and highly recommend cutting back on sugar and adding the Omega fish oils. The kids take them in vitamin form now (gummy bears), but they also like the little capsules that taste like strawberry, sold at Whole Foods. I think some kids can grow out of this disorder with time and I feel like my girl is on the road to realizing her behavior effects us all and she is the one in control. I am happy to have her not on meds. I think they are just awful. And I would not recommend anti-depressants for kids, or I would hope I would never have to put my child on them. They will change them and possibly make them suicidal. I would think it best to try behavioral therapy first, and bio-feedback. I highly recommend keeping these kids active in as much as possible, including a martial arts. Good luck!!

Hi B.,

I have 2 boys with ADHD.. 13 and 11 years old. She could have something else going on inside. My 11 year old has anxiety but you would never know it from the outside. I would also have some additional testing done by her Psychiatrist. Maybe her meds aren't working properly anymore. It's quite common that once puberty starts the meds have to be increased or changed.

Good luck,
C.

I will tell you from experience that it can be a difficult and long road without medications. It is hard to accept that you have a child with this disability and make no mind IT IS A DISABILITY. Yes there is hope...love, patience, doctors and medications. You must make sure that she is seen by a therapist and a psychiatrist. They are essential in helping the child realize what is going on with their mind and body. Many times they act out because they don't understand. Don't label them and don't let them use the label. They are capable of being normal. Some kids just require help. These children require positive environments, positive affirmations, etc. The schools can even help so have your granddaughters parents talk to school officials about programs they offer. Some schools offer one on one therapy, a reward system for good behavior, good grades, etc. My son is 15 now. He was diagnosed with ADHD at 4 and for several years I thought it was a lost cause for years but he is growing out of it and being responsible and mature. One thing people do not know or understand is that these children operate at a lower or higher level. Meaning that some are 1 to 2 years below their age level and require being held back at time and lots of one on one teaching and some are so smart, they are way ahead of their class and that is where the hyper part sets in because they finish their assignments and get bored. Each child is different, but there is help. Reasearch, research and read and study and know this disability. It will help all family members deal with this. I did so much research because I did not want to admit my child had a problem, did not want medications, but when he was kicked out of 2 daycares before 5...I finally realized I needed help. We went through many many medications and finally found a combination that worked. But medications can need to be changed monthly, yearly, etc. Good luck and God Bless.

My son had been on meds for ADHD since he was five. He just turned 14 and hasn't been on meds for 2 years....and that is because he has been drinking Mangosteen juice by Xango. This is the only juice that is natural made from whole fruit puree that actually works!!! Don't buy the copycats...they don't work!!!

I have some great testimonials that I could send you - email me for them and I will. ____@____.com - just mention what you are emailing me for or i'll forget. I think I can help your family.

Hi B.,

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May God Bless You and Your Family. <><

My daughter is 6 and behaves the same way but she does not have ADHD. My daughter tries to control everything around her especially when something else in her life is out of her control. I notice that if things are stable and she knows the boundries and I'm consistent with discipline and stuff she does much better. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't think ADHD is the problem you are describing.

Her medicine is not working! I have an 11 year old step-daughter who suffers from ADHD. Without her medicine, the behavior you are describing is a definite. Meds have to be adjusted, so if her pediatrician is not asking questions about her behavior on an ongoing basis, I would look at another doctor! That behavior you described is the exact behavior model of a child with ADHD who is not on medicine. She cannot control herself because she does not have the "connection" in the brain that helps her to do so. Medicine, or other alternative options, have been the only way we have had success. My 11 yr. old is not on medicine anymore, but takes some alternative options and both have been successful! She is in control of her behavior, does not complain about her relationships, can get through most tasks,and is an almost straight A student! There is hope, and if you need the names of the alternative options, email me at ____@____.com

I am in the same boat with my 12 year old son. When I read your posting I saw that I can relate to everything you said. It sounds like your grandaughter and my son are exactly the same. He is a wonderful 12 year old with a great personality. He is smart, outgoing and is everyone's best friend. My son was just tested for ADD/ADHD even though it should have been done years ago. And we just spoke with our family doctor yesterday about this. He suggested that because we just got him tested that maybe we try a counselor or psychologist before we try meds. Myabe if he learns different ways to deal with his emotions it might help as much as the meds would. Maybe this same thing would help your granddaughter. I am not in any way suggesting you stop the meds, only that maybe in addition to them some outside help might work. I know a lot of people have serious doubts when you mention counseling, but for us this is a grasp for anything that can help.

Buy the book by Dr Bob's guide to stop adhd in 18 days. It is by a christian doctor so you probally can find it on the website for CBS. Dr Bob helps people change their diets to help their health so he alot of different books for diabetes, hypertension and ect but I've heard that this book on adhd is very helpful ridding toxins that cause adhd symptons.

I am a mother of an 11 year old son with ADHD and he has been on medications since he was 6 years old as well. Your story is the same as everyone who has children with ADHD. The best advice that I can offer is that with ADHD there is often emotional disorders associated with it because not many people understand the child or the disability. My son sees both a psychiatrist and a psychologist for his condition. The word NO is not accepted because it is looked at by the child as a negative reinforcement. Try changing your word selection and be very stern and consise about what she wants the child to do. Do not give them choices. Instead of saying NO, I usually redirect them or tell them not at this time. I also use words that are positive like, "you are very smart, but you know that this is unacceptable and will not be tolerated, or I know you can do better" They usually respond better with the positive reinforcement. As far as their social skills, it is very difficult for them to get along with other children because they are different, but try to encourage them as much as possible. It is a self esteem issue and since my son has been on an antidepressant, he is much better with his peers. Talking to her and everyone around her about her condition helps people to understand her and know how to handle her. Remember every child is different whether they have ADHD or not and we must treat them as individuals. I have two sons, and I can use negative reinforcement with one and not the other. Also get as much literature and education on ADHD as you possibly can. There is hope, it takes a lot of patience, but hang in there....you are doing the right thing.

She sounds like a very strong willed or spirited child. I have one of those...a 3 year old boy. If she hasn't been already I would definitely have her tested by a psychologist or behavioral specialist to make sure she has ADHD. She may not need the meds, just some behavioral therapy and consistent discipline. Just keep in mind, many of those strong willed traits will make her a great leader one day so you don't want to squash them. She just needs to learn to control them better. There are some good books on strong willed children: Setting Limits with Your Strong Willed Child (recommended to me by a registered play therapist and mom of a strong willed child), The Strong Willed Child, Raising Your Spirited Child. Good luck!

My son is 7 and has ADHD as well. My son displays all the same symptons which you use to describe your granddaughter. We have to stay on top of him at all times and you being a grandparent must support her mother whenever she tells her to do something. It helps to have everyone on the same page. As far as friends go, try to have someone over one on one. If you observe her being pushy with the other child try to pull her to the side and tell her that she is making her friend sad by being forceful with her. I also try to keep my son busy with out of school sports and activities. When he is busy he seems to do better and get along with others. Hang in there!

My sister was diagnosed at a young age with severe ADHD, but as a pre teen she was diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder. All of this info regarding her behavior needs to be discuss with her psychiatrist. If she does not see a child psychiatrist then I would strongly suggest that she see a reputeable child psychologist who has experience with ADHD and other learning disabilities. She may not be on the correct meds or her condition may be changing.

Her social skills sound like they need work, is there a school counselor she can see?

On a positive note my sister is grown with a child of her own and is a very well adjusted adult, but it was a rough road for all involved so I can relate to your situation.

Just because the child is ADHD doesn't mean she should be allowed to rule the roost. She needs some discipline.

As far as her social skills are concerened, I know the psycholigist/psychatrist my child sees offers therapy in teaching ADHD kids how to deal with social situations. You may consider taking her to therapy or reading a book and helping the girl out. The dr. has asked if my child has issues in social situations. Fortunatley she does not. Also they may consider changing her medication.

Good Luck!

My son acts the same way and was quickly diagnosed at the age of 4 that he had ADHD after being tested. Then at the age of 7 we went to a doctor that finally did a CT scan and found out that there was a misfire in the brain and he is on medications and still has the same problems right now he is on 3 different medications and still trying to find out which ones work. This is harder because id was misdiagnosed for so many years

B.,

Has your granddaughter ever been to a developmental pediatrician? The reason why I ask is that sometimes....our special little ones need (please don't think I am crazy) an anti-depresant. It allows them to control their emotions so that they are not bouncing off the wall.

You may want to have her mom consider a specialist and discuss this.

Good luck.

There is a lot of hope for your granddaughter! I agree with Leah a lot. There could be several things going on. She could also be getting some hormonal changes that cause her to cry a lot. There could be some foods that she is sensitive to and her body is simply reacting to those. Unfortunately there are a lot of chemicals in our food these days. I have studied nutritional counseling from a holistic point of view and have witnessed behavior changes simply by avoiding certain foods. Chemicals in her environment can cause problems as well (laundry soap, cleansers, shampoo, toothpaste, deoderant, etc.) A proper nutritional supplement can do amazing things as well.

If you have additional concerns, you can contact me. I would love to help you in any way I can!

Blessings,
M.
Mom to 5 Wonderful Kids
www.4MyChildrenSake.com

I have a 12 yr old son that was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6 years old. We have been through several meds to help. I always new when that meds was not working due to he couldn't focus and was very hyper with a very very short attention span. He started out on Addrell but had too many highs and lows. When he was coming of the meds he just wanted to be left and alone and hated everyone. They have just put him on a new med about 4 mounths ago and it is the best one we have ever had. It is brand new. It is called Vyvanse. It works almost all day. He does not have the mood swings anymore and he can focus well. Alot of his problem know is he is being a typical 12 year old. Puberty is hitting him I think. I do not think all of her problem can be blammed on ADHD but a new med might help some of it, but you can't let the ADHD be a cruch. That will only hurt her in the long wrong. I don't not let me my son use that as an excuse for anything. I wish you the best of luck. God bless!!!

Therapy! Meds will not fix everything and children/teens with ADHD need to be seen not only by a qulaified psychiatrist but ALSO a PSYCHOLOGIST who will work with her on social skills/emotional control. Also a psychologist is the only one qualified to do testing which can better confirm if it is truly ADHD or another possible disorder. Please don't rely on medication alone--In all the literature a combination of meds and therapy are proven to be helpful than one alone. Psychiatrists are not qualified to do therapy and often don't have time to really get into behavioral/emotional issues.

My son, now 17, was diagnosed 10 years ago w/ ADD. He was put on Adderol. At 7 years of age, he walked around saying everyone hated him, he wished he was dead and it just went on and on. I took the risk of taking him off the meds and went to the health food store and bought all natural remedies for him. It helped alot. He eventually (a few weeks) quit hating himself and others. His temper was under control and best of all, he wasn't taking mind altering drugs. I believe in the natural methods when it is appropriate. He still has focusing issues today but myself and the school is well aware of the situation and controlling it. The response from Tiffany is a great one. Show her the possitive in everything. Pre-teens have it so hard now days with all the outside influences. My heart goes out to her. My prayers are with you. You are an outstanding person loving your grand-children and seaking help for them. Focus on the good and show her the path. When I was growing up and i'm sure you as well, we never had these "diagnosis'". Your granddaughter would probably be just fine with constant reinforcement and a positive attitude. She just needs to develope the right skills to controll her outbursts.

Blessings,
B. M, Magnolia, TX
momsNcharge.com

Hi B.,
I have a 10 yr old son who is ADHD. He has been on medication since 1st grade, that's when we noticed there was a problem. I agree with everyone else, what you are describing is not all ADHD. Before my son was diagnose, I worked in the mental health field, so I was aware of the behavior he was exhibiting. My son is very hyper, he can't stay still. He has to run, hop, skip to do the simplest task. His attention is very short. Even with all that going on, he is on honor roll, perfect scores on Taks reading, math, and writing, scores high school or post high school level on the stanford test.

I just read your message again, is your daughter on addderall. My son was very sensitive on that drug. Quick to cry and get angry.

I do not have a child with ADHD, but I taught kindergarten for 5 years, and have had much experience with this. You can try changing her diet-no sugar, or maybe she's on the wrong medicine.

Hi B.,

I have 3 kids (14YO & 9 YO girls & 5YO boy)the girls have both been diagnosed with ADHD and both are on meds. My oldest sounds like your granddaughter. She is our Drama Queen, but I love her so much.
The Meds help with concentration and reasoning but not really emotion. I ended up taking my daughter to a counselor for about 6 mos and it really helped. She still has her moments especially since she is going through her changes. But she is doing a lot better.
You might suggest a counselor or a group of other kids who are similar. You can contact any Peds Counselor and they can help with the support group. She just needs to know she is not alone. And you and your daughter need to know you are not alone.

May God Bless and my prayers are with you.
C.

She may not be ADHD. I have 2 children (11 & 8) that are ADHD. I do have a friend that her daughter was diagnosed with a Defiance disorder of some type. I cannot remember what it is called. Ever since she has been diagnosed with this they have been going to a specialist and she is allot better! She is not on any meds for this.

On another note. My children are on Adderall XR. They are very sensitive, and do sometimes wear their feelings on their sleeves. They also have trouble going to sleep, and their appetite is not all that great. They both play the drama card often as well!! LOL

I wish your family lots of luck. The psycologist helped our children out allot and us as far as teaching us how to help our kids handle ADHD. Sorry I could not tell you more about the defiance disorder.

B.,
Yes there is but the sooner the better a family DR.is great he give's lots of ADHD meds ,but that is not the only kind ,she might need a differnt 1 or more or less then she's getting pshchiatrist(SURE NOT SPELLED RIGHT)they can get her meds straight and you might just get your happy little granddaughter back .NOW is a great time to do so some of theses meds have to build up in your system some like all mens have side effects at first summer break is a great time
good luck L.

Check out this website, it has Dr's audios, hear Dr templeman and Dr. V. Johnson, they speak of ADHD,
www.DailyHealthJuice.comm

thanks,
Oly

ADD/ADHD, as with most things, comes in different severity levels in different children. With ADD/ADHD the severety levels can increase or decrease with hormones (the natural kind from just growing up), or other outside influences. This means that the medication that worked beautifully for months or years could suddenly seem to not work at all. Also, it could mean that there comes a time when things level out for this child, that she can cut back or come off the meds all together.

Having said that, while taking the meds, it is sometimes good to include therapy, for both the family (how to deal with the fluctuations of her symptoms) and for her seperately. This does not even need to be a permanent thing. Sometimes young kids need an outside source to express concerns, fears, etc to so they do not have to worry how family and friends will react to what they have to say or how they feel. This therapist should also be able to guide the child into learning what is called "right and wrong thinking". This helps her to sort through her confusing and conflicting emotions at the time to determine the correct course to take (of course there are times when the child will choose the wrong thinking course - all kids do). They give many sample situations to the child and go over which actions would be best to take and why...It helps the kids with "reprogramming" their thinking when they are faced with such inner conflict to begin with.

My 10 yo has ODD (often a component with ADD/ADHD) which is so strong it makes her minor ADD symptoms hard to diagnose.

She has been receiving therapy weekly for years because it gives her the sense that there really isn't anything wrong that can't be worked out. She enjoys her sessions and we notice a difference in her whenever she has had one. She is also on meds to help her control her emotions and mood swings better. While I am not a strong supporter of meds (it took me three years and her shoplifting to get me to finally try the meds), I do notice that I have a "normal" child now. She has much better control of herself and knows how to handle situations. Is she perfect? no, she is a normal child with occasional bad days instead of extreme meltdowns over minor things and constant fighting with me and her siblings.

I hope this helped.

Good Luck!!!

Hi, just wanted to tell you, you are not alone. My son is 9 years old and was put on meds for adhd. He acts identical to your granddaughter. Before he went to public school and put on meds he was very kind, polite, well mannered, and easy going. Now he cries at anything, wont accept no, says friends dont like him, throws a fit if things are not going his way, and treats me very badly. I dont know what to do. If it is the meds or just him. When he is not on the meds he is obnoxious, and thats sad coming from his mom. On his pills he is very good. So i am clueless on this as well. I do know that he acts this way with just us, other people say when he is with them he is good. So, back in the same boat again.

I have a 17 yo son that is ADHD......and the sysmptons are kind of different. He is my social butterfly that is friends with everyone! You might think about taking her to a physcologist/physciatrist and make sure that she was diagnosed correctly. The is a new drink out named "spark" that my cousin is using on her son, and she swears by it! Pray!!!! Good luck-

I've had fantastic results from putting my ADHD son on a Nikken Sleep System. It puts the child into an all-natural, perfectly balanced, electro-magnetic field. Dr. Melaney Caldwell, a pediatrician specializing in children with ADHD believes that the symptoms of ADHD are caused by a sleep disorder. These kids thrash in their sleep and can't enter into deep, Rapid Eye Movement, dream cycle sleep. When she loaned her patients Nikken Sleep Systems, they noticed immediate results. Many of them no longer take stimulant drugs, because they don't need them anymore. Many others are on reduced amounts of medications as a result of better quality sleep. Dr. Caldwell used to write over 600 prescriptions per month for stimulant drugs. She researched other treatment options because she was frustrated that the drugs weren't helping. That's when she discovered Nikken Wellness Products. Ask your granddaughter's parents how she sleeps. If she's restless, a Nikken Sleep System can help. To learn more about Nikken products, please visit www.nikken.com/brendaramsey.

Children are oven being over diagnosed with ADHD. A “difficult” kid might often be labeled as ADHD kid. So be careful about the diagnosis and try to find more than 1 opinion. Below is a website that will give you reliable information on ADHD and its symptoms. http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/symptom.htm

I have an 11 yr. old nephew who is your granddaughter's twin.
He has never been on medication and his mother refuses to do so.
He is smart, knows what NO means, but is very stubborn and persistant.
She gives him "Mango Stein" once a day. It is an herbal/vitamin mixture and she swears by it.
The sad thing about medicating the young ones with products such as Ritalin and Adderall is that when they become young adults, they are taken off of it.
Their bodies are used to this chemical and they replace the "need" with other drugs...street drugs.
My mother in law was an elementary school nurse for 30 years and she used to tell me that 85% of children are on some type of medication and don't need to be.
Doctors, and I mean pediatricians are NOT qualified to make this type of diagnosis. A mental professional along with testing will determine if meds are needed.
Otherwise, a firm hand, structure and discipline go a long way.With my nephew, he doesn't need drugs, he needs old fashioned discipline. Like I said, he is extremely smart, but he isn't challenged enough in school. Try giving challenging activities and keep her occupied.

Don't give up. Pray, I will refer this to my daughter who is a step-mom to a child ADHD.

my son is 12yrs and he has been on meds since he was 5yrs. This year we started having the same problem but, they got worse wetting the bed every night, not bathing, not brushing his teeth, stealing. So I contacted Depelchin, a psyciatrist for children. Since we have been taking him he has changed, with in a month his grades with from F's to A-B. The counslor is going over things with him like social skills and organizations skills. It's not really counseling but, therapy to help with life and it's challenges. I was very against it myself but when I saw how well it helps him I'm very glad Iwent through with it. It gives the child some one to talk to and the counslor keeps you informed on progress in the session and you keep them informed outside the session. Depelchin works with all insurances as well. GOOD LUCK it is a challenge

hello my name is M.,live in the Central TX area and have a 10 and half that just got diagnosed with adhd. He's a handful has the same reactions when he's told"no" or what to do, having school problems and is being held back due to his problem of not paying attention /listening when told to.On top of that my son as born with cerebral palsy so his life is always going to be rough. All I have been doing is going/living day by day going with the flow of his emotions. Usually I can tell when there the ADHD coming out or just plain "not going to listen" type of temper tantrums. You just got to love them cause it's not there fault they get/have the problem. I was told by a therapist where i took my son to the kids that have these problems might be dealing with problems of their own but not letting any adult know.My son was taking the divorce between me and his dad pretty hard cause he loves his dad but i have custody of him due to his handicap. well he still sees him whenever his dad comes for the court orderd visitation but......... sometimes he cancels and that don't help matters.

I feel for you because my boys are 16 and 18 and I am still dealing with the same issues.

My son has ADHD. You may need to have the medication adjusted. My son does not have any mood swings with his medication. We did try him on a different medicine and he did argue. It might be something other than ADHD. She may need to see the doctor and told about what is going on.
A.