Hi L., we adopted our son internationally in 2005 and I would love to answer any questions you may have or eventually think of. You have received some good responses on the mother's side, so I won't touch on that.
Are you thinking boy or girl or does it matter and what age?
Are you thinking of adopting domestically or internationally? I ask, because that will greatly influence your process time and cost. If you are thinking internationally are there certain children that you are naturally drawn to? Asian children, Caucasian children, etc. that will help you narrow down a country. I have a couple of friends that have adopted domestically and through their friends and/or doctors or lawyers have heard of a mother making an adoption plan for their child and then our friends were able to speak with the mother and the adoption process started for them.
A great book that I read when we were thinking about adopting was AdoptingOnline.com from http://www.adoptingonline.com/ (that is really the name of the book- haha) and I read through this website: http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/index.html and listened to a radio show on: http://www.letstalkadoption.com/ I am not saying to go or don't go with this agency, but it really helped me when I wanted to find out more about the process.
The process goes something like this (but every adoption is as unique as the children)
1. decide domestic or international
2. find an agency to help with paperwork or some lawyers can help if it is a domestic adoption
3. start the paperwork process (this includes everything from your taxes last year to your fingerprints and background checks) your agency will tell you what you need to do then you will have a homestudy done (no they don't go through your underwear drawer-haha) and the questions for this is again based on domestic or international adoption
4. then international adoption- paperwork goes to country, gets translated, you receive a referral, you visit referral and accept or decline the referral (child) and then (depending on country), return to the USA for more paperwork and wait for a court date and then return to the country and go to court and then you are united with your child
5. I'm not as familiar with domestic, but I believe you wait for the child to be born and then you go to that state and you are required to stay in that state for a certain amount of time (some states are a day, others a week or so) then I believe you finish the adoption with more paperwork
I really hope I haven't overwhelmed you! If there is anything that I can help you with, please don't hesitate to let me know. Good Luck with your decision.
C.