Aching to Be SAHM

1. Make a budget- see what amount you need and what not.
2. Really look at the medical benifits. Being military you dont have to pay anything but do have to wait for referrals and see their doctors.

My decision to stay at home was because it wasn't worth a 100-300 hundred dollars a month after daycare. Plus my husband is military so i needed to be the constant in my kids life. WE dont' dinner out very much and get involved in a playgroup for company.

Expect not to get more cleaning done and to be bored. Just try to stay out of stores, its too easy to shop.

Hello Pat,
My name is B. A. and I remember quite some years ago being where you are now. Though I do have my own company, and would enjoy sharing what home based businesses I actively work for multiple streams of income, I would first offer this advice:
Pat, establish your "why" you want to be home, and have it be so definite, so strong, it will make you cry. Reason? Because when life presents you curves you stay the course to accomplish your goals having the diligence to continue on.
Next, I would encourage you to go to the following website where Robert Kiyosaki, reknown author and leader in the field of income strategy, explains the reasons for network marketing/home based businesses. Go to : www.cii.supportdaddy.com
Pat, I welcome the opportunity to be of assistance to you, whether that be just as a listener or to continue this discucssion and offer what to look at next.
You can contact me through my web site where I am profiled as a published author...yes, being home enables me to what I truly want... www.BeverlyAmeykeller.com

I agree with the people who say to make a budget. When you are living comfortably, you know the ballpark of what you can spend without bouncing checks across town, but you don't really think about where every dollar goes. I sat down and looked over our spending over a typical month and I was AMAZED at how much we could cut back-- so we did. We hardly ever go out to eat anymore unless it's a special occasion (we used to go out on the weekends-- but now we make sure to eat lunch before we go out or we pack a lunch to take, depending on what we're doing that day.) It's ridiculous how much you can save in a month if you stop going out to eat and switch to something like a weekly pasta night. Also, I called each of the companies I send bills to every month to see if/how I could reduce my bill. Do you REALLY need the home phone package with all of those features you rarely/never use??? Shaving $5-20 off of a monthly bill seems like a waste of time, but it seriously does add up when you put all of the savings together. Have the utilities companies come out for a free inspection to let you know specific ways you can reduce your bills. I really don't know what to tell you about yours and your husband's jobs because I have no clue what field you work in or what you are qualified to do--- but you need to get out of the tunnel vision and (I hate this expression... but...) think outside the box. I was not able to find a teaching job that was part time, but I stumbled upon an opportunity to teach from home at a virtual school. I know the insurance is a BIG issue, so I have no advice on that... but your husband needs to keep looking-- and he needs to consider job opportunites outside of his comfort zone. Check craigslist-- even if he doesn't find an actual job there, it may give him some ideas of different avenues to persue-- and you, too. In the meantime, count your blessings--- of course you know how lucky you are to have a job at all since so many people are out of work and losing their homes-- and you need to remember how lucky you are that your husband is home with them and not a "stranger". Working moms have that guilt that they will miss milestones like first steps-- but who's to say that they won't have milestones on the evenings and weekends when YOU have that quality time with them?? How often can your husband bring them to your job so you can have lunch together?? Is there the possibility of a 4 day work week or a way to do your job once a week from home?? With corporations downsizing and pinching pennies to stay afloat, you never know what your boss may be open to unless you ask-- throw some ideas out there and see if any of them will work for you AND the company's best interests.

i see where you have already done "so what happened" but i thought i might write you. i was a SAHM for 4.5 yrs. i had alwasy worked i have a 5yo and a 2 yo (almost 3) while i loved staying home with the kids and the opportunity it gave me to spend with my husband (he's in corrections so every other week he only works 2 days) i alwasy felt guilty bc i wasn't helping with the income. (thank the darn feminist movement for that :P) anyway i was on here one day looking at home school and this lady on here had a website for WESTATHOME.COM. so i checked it out. it has good reputation with the BBB, and also you can make anywhere from minimum wage up to $18/hr. it is an outsourcing call center that takes calls for places like Directv, Virgin Mobile, Toysrus, pharmacutical companies, and so forth. it can take a little bit for them to get back with you. (my sister in law put in application a few months ago and didn't hear anything yet.) i put in a application and i heard back within a mo. and after that everything went very quickly. i applied last december and i was in production at the beginning of february. they give you online training. they have support help thru chats, live chats and a phone # for there helpers that are specifically for the job you are working. i used to work for volusia county courthouse fulltime. with my kids i have found that i make more working 20 hrs a week then i would if i were working outside of the home full time. some of the work is 24 hours a day and depending on the hours that you need to work ( i put in that i could work 20, but i work for Directv and i can work upwards of 40 if i want) you can work during nap and also in the evenings after the babies go to bed. it's a great opportunity, it's easy and the money is decent. and you typically have all of the necessary equipment. and also they do offer a insurance at extra charge that you can check out.

hth
stacy

Pat,

I have been a SAHM for nearly 7 years. For me, I sat down and made a budget. My husband works for his family, so he was the higher income anyway. We sat down and worked the numbers and discovered that it was much cheaper for me to be at home with the kids. After paying daycare every week and a few other necessities my paycheck did nothing for us. So we have made a budget and we rarely stray from that. I know the economy seems bleak, but there are some jobs out there. He just needs to look in the right place. I know it is difficult to leave your babies at home or with another care giver, but if you can create a budget and stick to it and not stray you will find that it might be easier than you think. Don't go shopping on a whim, only buy what you need at the grocery store (use coupons); that saves me a lot of money. I save anywhere between $8 to $35 everyweek when I go shopping. I do this also buy having a membership to costco and fill my freezer with meats this way I don't have to buy meats and other large staples at the grocery store. Just look around to find out what you can do without and see what is necessary and just budget. I can't say that enough. I have an accounting background and if I didn't budget things I would go nuts.

Good luck.

S.
36 y/o SAHM of 3 boys
14, 6 and 4

Sorry cut myself off Tell yourself everyday.

I AM A GOOD M.!!!!

Hi Pat,
I just wanted to offer some encouragement to look toward the future. Even though you may not be in a position to quit your job right now, you can start the process of getting you there, and maybe in two years you will be prepared. Yes, your oldest will be starting kindergarten, but the benefits of having a SAHM don't end when a child starts school, IMO.

I mention this becasue I am currently a working M. with a 2yo and a 3yo. Before having kids, DH and I knew I would be a SAHM, but the problem was, we did nothing to prepare for that or get our fiances in order, and suddenly when I got pregnant we realized I would HAVE to continue working.

Cut to two years later when our youngest was 1yo, and we realized that we didn't have to be "stuck" with me working the rest of my life, that it wasn't too late, as long as we put a plan in place. So, we set a goal that we are constantly working toward.

We are now on a two year plan to have all our student loan debt, both our cars, and our home equity loan paid off in two years, as well as having saved up at least six months of expenses for emergency (we felt it was important to have that buffer before going to one income).

Of course I had to get a better paying job to have the income to make that happen in the meantime, but I prayed on it a lot, and even in this economy was able to find a job making 30% more than I made at my last job, and ALL that extra goes toward the debt. Once we are debt free, and no longer have the expense of day care, we will be able to manage on DH's income without changing our lifestyle (like I said we are already minimalists).

Our only hurdle will health insurance, as it is SO cheap at my job right now, and DH is self employed so doesn't have the option. We have been looking into some private pay policies, or maybe nationalized health care (which I was against for a long time, but is suddenly becoming more desirable to me) will pass and we won't have to worry at all.

Yes, my older son will be finishing kindergarten, and the younger will be about to start Pre-K by the time I quit, but I don't think it is ever too late to become a SAHM. Who knows, we might even have more kids, and working part time or working from home might also be options for me.

Also, the fact of knowing I am working toward a goal, rather than feeling stuck, makes it that much easier to leave my kids and come to work every day becasue I know I am doing it for them in the long run.

Hi Pat,

Here's another way to cope, work from home, educating other SAHM about shopping for safer, non toxin, effective, cost effective products for their family, while earning a rewarding income of $500 to over $5k a month. Thousands of moms all over the country have partnered with this company, replacing and increasing their income, without leaving their homes.

If you are open, check out the company's official website, at www.melaleuca.com, then click on GET TO KNOW MELALEUCA. If you want more information and would like to partner up with our company go www.williamsgroupsf.com and complete the request for information form, to schedule a FREE Live Webcast/Conference Call.

Stop your heart from aching and take a look at an option.

I look forward to your reply.

G.