Accepting Free Things from friends...Feeling a Little Awkward.

I would say to her " thanks so much I really appreciate this. Do you want me to give them back when we are done or pass them on to someone else who needs them?"

If it was me, I would just feel good about giving it all to someone who I knew needed it (even if not for financial reasons) and was going to use it. A friend of mine has given me lots of her older kid's outgrown clothing, I remember feeling the same as you. Almost every time I run into her, my kid's are wearing the clothing from her and I always thank her again. It's also just being green and reusing. I think a nice thank you note is fine and maybe offering to watch her kids. And, pay it forward!

Do NOT offer money. Definitely insulting. Do a really nice gift note. Bake her something nice if you're good at that, take her to lunch, offer a night of free babysitting etc. And pay it forward. When you're done with the stuff, find someone who really needs it, and give it to them.

What a kind offer from her! I'd bite the bullet and accept the items graciously with a thank you note and maybe an offer to watch her kids so she and her husband could have a date night. She wouldn't be expecting money from you if she offered them by "giving them away" and possibly would be offended if you offered money. Thank your lucky stars for such a nice new friend. Watch and listen...something might come up where you could repay her in kind.

Have you seen the items? Are they of a pattern that you would be okay with? I am the baby items trader of the 'hood. I was able to give a young mom that didn't have much a matching crib and baby changer. No charge!! She did come over bearing a delicious 2-layer chocolate cake! When hubby saw that he threw in the baby swing too!!

When she was done with the items she brought some back, along with clothes. I was able to pass things on to two other moms. Both of which were having showers and could afford to purchase new. Think of it as being green. She has something in her house that are basically new that is taking up space. You are in need of such things.

I would accept her offer to look over the things. If they ARE things that you would like, accept them. If you want, offer to pay her something, "are you sure you don't want any money? say $75 - 100 for the lot." If she turns it down, don't push. Just say thanks.

Please don't feel awkward. I LOVE giving stuff to people who number one, need it, and number two, to people I like. Take her to lunch to tell her thank you after you get the stuff, and at lunch, pick up the tab before she has a chance to say no. Send her a sweet thank you card. No gift card.

If she is anything like me, it's either give it to you or to Goodwill. Let her feel good about it. Once in a blue moon if she sees you with her stuff, make a remark of some sort about how great it is. I can't tell you how much I appreciated the clothes my SIL generously handed down to me, even bringing them overseas so that I could have them. I have paid it forward to others too, like my SIL did to me.

Dawn

I would thank her and maybe buy her a gift card to her favorite restaurant or salon.

This is WONDERFUL!!! Accept the items with sincere thanks!!

We had a tough year last year - through the kindness of friends and God's grace - great things happened for us. Take this act of kindness and pay it forward. Use the items you need - and give the items to someone else in need? You are NOT a charity case. But you are in need. So accept graciously!

ENJOY!! Write a heart felt thank you card and take her to coffee!

Accept graciously, send a thank you note, maybe take her out to lunch. then pass the things on when the time comes. If she is like me she may just be happy that the things are being put to use and not collecting dust in her attic/garage/basement. I am so happy my littlest is 3 and I thrilled to pass on the baby stuff now we are done with it.

It's important to be gracious to someone who offers to do something for you or give something to you (especially when it's something you need).

You could say, "Thanks so much - these things are just what I was looking for. Are you sure I can't pay you for these?" Perhaps she'll say no, that she's just glad to pass them on to someone who can use them. Or perhaps she would appreciate some payment but didn't want to ask; surely she has bills to pay, too. Whatever answer she gives you, assume that she is being up front.

It would be sweet to write her a thank-you as well.

In any case, be gracious. I hope that some time soon you will be able to do something for her. That's what friendship is about.

I would say. let me take you to lunch or happy hour sometime to thank you. Then you get a chance to spend some more time with her and get to know her better. Sounds like a good friend to have. That's how my close friends and I thank each other, usually with lunch or dinner. Any chance we can get out for mom time we jump at the chance!

Say thank you and then be sure to give her opportunities to see you and your baby using and appreciating them. I gave a very nice barely used pack n play to a coworker/friend who was having twins. She tried several times to get me to accept money for it, which I didn't want to do. I finally told her "Look I want to give it to you. It makes me feel involved." She understood then, and graciously accepted it. It makes me smile every time I see pictures on Facebook of he little ones in the PNP :)

I wouldn't offer her any money but rather a nice thank you note. She has generously gifted those things to you out of kindness and friendship and thus does not expect you to give her money. As long as she feels you appreciate her generosity and will actually use the things she gave you then that's all that's needed.

Pay it forward...when you are done and someone else could use the items pass them on.
The gift card is a good idea or if you feel uneasy about that then choose something else.....deliver a home cooked meal for dinner for her family, order a book or magazine subscription for her, nice plant, gift card to a portrait studio (everyone loves to get their kids pics taken), or maybe get her a few different fast food gift certicates---entertains the kids and mom gets a night off of cooking....hope this helps

That is how I am with my stuff... I guess I'm too lazy to sell them and I just give it away. I gave away my son's crib, his jumperoo, his high chair, his clothes, a booster seat for the table, etc. It was all in great shape and I just wanted to see it used.

I think it would be a very nice gesture to send her a gift card and a thank you. I would be tickled pink if someone did that for me. She offered, so don't feel weird, just show you appreciate it. :-)

How about paying it forward and letting her know what you did. Try something like this, "you were so generous to give me all of this gear. It inspired me to be generous too, so I made a donation to a mom's shelter." I can think of no better way to show appreciation than that. She gets the joy of giving stuff to you, you get the joy of giving to someone else.

We just had a little girl - we were unsure how we were going to get her the stuff that she needed, since I lost my job in July 2009 and unemployment ran out. We were blessed when the secretary at the kids school had a friend (who I have never meet) wanting to get ride of a bunch of clothing & a knew our situation and how much the staff loves our kids. We were also lucky to have keep the bassinet from my son (who is now 18 mo old) and he had just hit the 22# mark to our grow his rear facing car seat and my 4 year old was ready to upgrade to a booster - so we ended up buying a booster, putting the 18 mo. old in the 4 yr olds carseat & the baby in the 18 mo. olds carseat.

Then for Christmas we asked for a crib & mattress for the baby - which we were lucky enough to get on that transforms as she grows, but she is still to small for right now.

After she out grows the stuff - I am going to donate it to one of the local pregnacy centers... after all I have gotten help from them when I need it and they give the stuff to moms in need for free.

By accepting the stuff - you are both getting help. Her house will be less cluttered and things she can't use anymore are out of her hair, and things you need are there and waiting for your new little one. If you want to return the kindness or pass it on - then do so, but don't slap kindness in the face or it might not be there if you ever do need it.

Thank her nicely and pay it firward by passing things on to someone else! I LOVE getting good hand me down stuff and I LOVE the feeling I get when I pass on good stuff and I have SPACE instead of unused stuff.

I would just thank her and then say what can I do to repay you for your generosity? Maybe babysit so she and her hubby can go out. Sounds like a good friend,GoodLuck!

Yes, as many have said, take and and just say thanks. If you really want to give her something for it, ask her out to lunch or mail her a starbucks gift card or something. She is trying to get that stuff out of her house! :)

Offer to pay for the items but if she says "No, I want to give them to you" say thank you and not argue. It was very nice of her to offer these things for you. I use to give things that my kids out grow away or if I had more then one item I would give it to someone who could use it. I never would want money for these items but it was nice that they offered because I knew they appriciated them and didn't expect things being given to them. I wouldn't take money for them either.

One of my friends offered to loan me her baby stuff- swing, bouncy, breast pump,maternity clothes and some other smaller things. I got her a gift card for a restaurant I know they like and sent her a thank you note with the gift card.

I gave all my baby stuff away; didn't sell a single thing. A gift card would be a wonderful thank you for your friend.

Realize that you are actually doing HER a huge favor by taking this stuff off her hands! Goodwill doesn't accept car seats, and it's a hassle getting rid of the big stuff.

Believe me, when you're done having kids, you'll be scouting your little black book for friends you can offload this stuff on later.

I think this woman is just generous. I wouldn't give her money because you would probably be insulting her. From what you say I think she may be just trying to make a connection with you. If I were you I would think about making plans more often to spend time with her. Maybe a family game night, weekend lunch, or get one babysitter for all the kids and go on a double date. If you really feel like showing your appreciation something more sentimental than money would be better. Maybe something homemade for her or her children (crafts or baking) or a gift basket of some sort that her family could enjoy. It could be homemade and personalized to what their family enjoys- be creative but thoughtful.

Maybe you should tell her thank you and accept. Give her a note and invite her over for mommy time while the kids play. She could be your new best friend since you don't have many close friends in your area. Foster this relationship.

Ever hear of Freecycle? The whole concept is keeping things out of landfills by giving it to those in need. I've seen people give everything from a barn (that needed to be torn down) to baby items to cars. All with no strings attached.

Your friend is very generous. I would probably send her some baked goods with a very nice thank you note with an offer to babysit if she wanted a night out with her hubby.

As a mom of 3 kids (close in age - I had them over 4 years) I am thrilled when I can give my nice baby stuff to someone who can really use it. I was given SO MUCH stuff over the years, some friends would literally just leave bags of stuff on my doorstep! So, I in turn, like to give my stuff away.

I'd write her a nice thank you, or offer to pay if you really feel the need, but I'm pretty sure she's just happy to help and have her nice stuff go to a good home.

J.

accept it gracefully and send her a thank you note. then pay it forward some way in the future! :)