Abusive Sibling

A.,
You need to report this situation to the authorities. Both children need help. He needs to stop this bullying (before it goes too far) and she needs to learn that this is not ok. My concern is that she will seek abusive relationships once she is grown because this is all she knows. He needs to learn how to deal with his rage and that it is not ok to bully people. You will be doing a great service to these kids if they can get the kind of help they need to learn a healthy lifestyle and coping mechanisms. If their own parents are too self absorbed to notice then you have to step up. That boy is screaming for help but you are the only one who has heard him. The little girl in direct danger and you would never forgive yourself if something happens to her. God bless and Good Luck.

You need to talk to his parents, one or both. I would also suggest family counseling. A divorce is a very traumatic thing for all involved and it is not uncommon to use preofessional therapy as a way to work through this difficult transition. The fact that he is threatening her not to tell is proof that he knows what he is doing is wrong. He is obviously angry, but he needs to learn that he can not express his anger this way. He also needs to learn that it is not acceptable to beat, terrorize or threaten other to make youself feel better and gain control of people.

This is a serious issue and it needs to be taken seriously by the parents. There would be no need for Child Protective Services to be involved if the parents take the necessary steps to correc this. BUT make it clear to them that you will call CPS because the safety of their daughter and the mental health of their son is that important.

This is really a tough position for you to be in, I hope you make the right decision and it works out for your family!

Ok, not to give a pass to a future wife beater BUT everyone needs to calm down. I agree it needs to be dealt with but you must tell the parents first. It is their right to know what is going on and give them a chance to rectify the situation. The boy's parents are separating, he does not know what to do with his anger, frustration, FEAR. He is 11 years old and does not know how to deal with his situation. Being a Mother of boys and the survivor of a wife beating SOB, I can see both sides. He and his sister are going thru a lot. They both need couseling and the support of family. It is not a criminal act to beat up a sibling. It happens in all households, yes ladies even yours. All kids resort to basic instincts when they do not know how to deal. I wonder if it were the other way around if everyone here would have been so quick to "get juvie involved."

He is obviously angry and taking it out on his sister. This is a horrible situation and the kids should be separated!!! Sounds like the whole family needs counceling together.

Get the sister away from her brother immediately!!!!! DO NOT let this continue. Act immediately and quickly.

Willing or not, you are now involved, and are legally considered a co-conspirator if you do not report this or help remove the girl from the situation that is going on.

The boy definitely needs some kind of help, but the girl needs to be saved from that abusive environment first and foremost.

Why do people need to ask others what they should do when they know that a child is being abused? I don't understand your reluctance or your need to have someone else tell you what you already know (or you wouldn't even be asking here in this forum)

If the parent(s) won't or can't do anything about it, then you need to.

Hello A.,

I usually don't like to give advice, but this young cousin needs intervention quickly. His behavior may be coming from issues that are hurtful to him so he strikes out and his sister is the target.

Please contact your local mental health agency or department of human services. Both the brother and sister are in peril. The boy is training to be an abusive young man and husband some day, and his sister is training to become a victim with low self-esteem who may eventually become a battered wife.

By all means keep your child away from this situation unless you are in attendance. It would be terrible for your child to become a victim of whatever this young man is experiencing right now, and It would also be terrible for his sister to take out any ill feelings she may have on younger, more helpless family members.

These poor children do not need to be ignored. They NEED HELP! It is time for your family to rally around them and get them the help they need.

Dear A.,

Why are you even questioning this? Whenever a child is in
danger you act immediately!! I don't care what is going
through his head, it's wrong. You better do something now
before something worse happens. He could be in a gang already
for all you know. How will you feel if she's not here tomorrow? The guilt would eat me alive. Do whatever you need
to do to get her away from him NOW! Take care.

C.