A Moral Debate??

Fight for the girls , they are too young to do it themsleves. I just hope they dont seperate them since the younger one is not really his. Get a lawyer and keep them, if you send them back you will never see them again. Good luck!

I wonder if calling CPS and asking them for referrals/recommendations might be a way to go. I don't know if people work pro-bono, but you never know who might be willing to help, and if there are sliding scales for payment, etc. Good luck, and bless you for being such a great mom and person :)

Just read your "what happened" - I hope everything works out for you all! If you belong to a church, I would let them know what's going on as well. You never know what resources they may be able to provide or have access to in the church community to assist you.

I don't understand why your DH is ok with his daughter not being able to read. I assume since she's been in school on and off she probably doesn't know much of the stuff that 8 years should. The mother obviously is using the child as either free labor, or has the child working in other people's homes cleaning.

DH aside, are you ok sending an 8 year back to this life? I agree with the other mothers. Call CPS and explain to them the situation. The girl is in the states now as is her sibling and they should be able to do something.

Also, you need to sit your husband down and tell him exactly what you think. If you don't want to send the girls back to whatever h*ll they were living in in Mexico then you tell him that you're refusing to send them back and that you need to figure out how to handle this.

Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would have already told DH that I refuse to send the girls back. I would have already called an attorney and explained the situation and asked about a sliding pay scale or payments. I would have called CPS and legal aid and anyone else to find out what can be done to give these children the lives they deserve.

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Please, please call Child Protective Services now. The mother is unfit. She took the child out of the country illegally in the first place, is not providing her with education, and there's clear reason to suspect the child is being used as labor and is working instead of learning. If you let the girls go back into Mexico, CPS can do nothing. But CPS is also going to ask if you and your husband will take his child - and I have no idea what they will say about this second child who is not his.

You and your husband do need to have a very adult and serious talk it sounds like you have not ever had -- does he really have any long-term interest in his biological child? He never pursued her (at least it seems that way from the post -- did he ever go after the mother and get the law involved?), and he now wants to send her back-- he says, for you, but you need to find out if he really doesn't want his child in his life full-time. You may need to be prepared to tell U.S. authorities that the mother kidnapped this child and took her to Mexico but that you are not prepared to parent her in your own home and see what CPS and U.S. courts say from there. It's not wrong of you to admit you can't take on these girls, but it's wrong to let them return to what sounds like a potentially abusive situation.

Your position of "whatever he wants to do is fine with me" is asking for trouble. Decide what you truly feel about this. Are you willing to raise one and possibly two children until they leave your home at 18? Are you willing to add one and maybe two siblings to your children's home? I hope so because it sounds like these two girls are facing a life of servitude and ignorance with their mother. But if you are not willing to take them on, give the law enforcement authorities and CPS in the U.S. a chance to place them somewhere they can at least get an education and a chance at life.

And be aware, whatever happens, that the ex may come after them, may sue for custody, could kidnap them, or could just vanish and leave you with them anyway -- and then come back after them, years later, out of the blue.

Tell your husband what you think - if you want to try to get custody, hopefully you will be able to give this girl a better life than she is apparently living now, where she will get an education instead of just being someone's maid (or worse). I would at least start trying to see what you can afford as far as an attorney, some might be willing to work with you if necessary - I'm sure there are others on here that might have better information as far as the resources available to you.

I can't imagine it would really take much to get the girl that is his. She doesn't know how to read and you can't take an American girl out of the country and not teach her to read and keep her in school. I say he calls child protective services and tells them he needs help to navigate the system and keep her here. I bet they would jump at the chance since she's 8 and has been in Mexico and doesn't know how to read yet. If the little one is not his, I say he goes ahead and sends her back. Don't tell the mom what the plans are when she is coming to get the girls. Put the 8 year old someplace with relatives and tell the mom to take the little one and go or she will be arrested for taking the older daughter out of the country without his authority. I wouldn't be too surprised if she took the little one and left.

Why is he ok with his daughter not being able to read, being used as a maid and Possibly never seeing her again? Doesn't sound like he fought tooth and nail to find her either. I would sell everything I had to be able to have my children in my life and I am sure you would too. Tell ur hubby to go to legal aid and find out what his options are. I would also hire someone to follow her all the way to Mexico so you all know where this baby is. Many private investigators take credit cards. Good luck and let your hubby know that all children need fathers in their life!

Sounds like a mess with 2 children being used and abused by the mother and dad sort of not really wanting to be involved. If you don't want the girls there are plenty of people who would love to have them and would love them. I would contact DHS and see what they can do. If dad does not want them and they determine mom is unfit and terminates her rights a family could adopt them that would give them what they need, love and security. I have an adopted son and love him as much as my own daughters sometimes they are like you love him more than us. (he is 4 and they are 25 and 30). Do the right thing for the children. Just because he sends money whenever she calls does not mean he really wants to be a dad to both of them full-time so you need to have a serious talk and find out what he really wants he may be afraid to tell you he wants both of them or neither of them. I can tell you that I would keep both girls together since they have been together this entire time otherwise you will do some serious damage to both of them.

Good Luck and God bless.

oooh this is tough!!!

No 8 year old should NOT be able to read...that's wrong!!! On so many levels..

have a heart to heart with your hubby - sit down and figure out if this is something you can afford to do - not only the lawyers but feeding more mouths and go from there....

You might be able to find a lawyer who will take you on pro-bono or make payments...but really - you need to follow your heart and conscience..

GOOD LUCK!!