A Glass of Wine?

Your a parent now (or soon to be). It's time to stop caring how people are judging you and do what is best for you and your family. Having delivered 6 children myself (was pg with twins as a surrogate). I enjoyed an occasional adult beverage. I have 4 fantastic, A honor roll and advanced classes kids.
I think what you asked is completely harmless and even though yes, you are a Mother. You can NOT forget you are still a woman and a human being. We all need a flippin' break. Being too uptight about every little matter only makes for a very nervous Mother.
Relax and enjoy!

physiologically, having one glass so late in development is not going to harm the baby...in fact in the "old days", an IV of alcohol was used to stop premature labor! The one thing you must consider is that people are going to raise eyebrows and judge you because the common conception is that drinking of any kind during pregnancy causes birth defects. People will either comment about you behind your back, or possibly openly say something, and some might be quite vocal about the issue. I just wouldn't go there! If you wanted to share a glass with your husband, privately, that would probably be ok.

K.,
I think you are absolutley fine to have one glass of wine. Just be ready for others to make comments & ugly stares at you. People can be brutal when they see pregnant women doing things they dont approve of. As far as they are concerned, you could be on your 4th glass of wine, even though you will only have one.
I personally wouldnt do it. I am also pg & in my 3rd trimester. What if something happens??? To me, just not worth it. But that is ME.
Maybe they can disguise it in a different glass/cup, so it doesnt look like you are having wine??!!
Have fun at the wedding.
H.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with drinking the occasional glass of wine during pregnancy. Women today are so very paranoid about the things they eat and drink. My only word of caution is that at the wedding people may give you dirty looks as if you're abusing your unborn child. Have a good time and enjoy every sip.

Hi K.! I think you really do know the answer to this question without even asking us or your doctor. I'm just really floored by all the moms giving you the green light. I couldn't fathom exposing my unborn to something like a glass of wine or a beer. Sure it's one little glass to you-an adult with an adult weight. Why would you expose a 4-5-6 pound fetus to anything like that? Just my 2 cents.

When I was pregnant my DR told me a glass was OK as well, as long as you didn't over do it. Along with the other responses, was told that in the 3rd trimester it would do no harm. Do what you feel is right and don't worry about other people, it's your body, your conscience (spelling??). Have fun!

Hi K.,

I have some girlfriends who had a glass of wine "once in a while" while pregnant. I never judged them. When I was pregnant (with my one and only) I adhered to the philosophy that any and everything I ate and drank, my unborn child ate and drank. The idea of giving my child wine did not sit well with me. So, I abstained. Just my two cents.

Best wishes for another beautiful baby and have fun at the wedding.

N.

Hi K.,
I remember going out to dinner with family a few weeks before I was due. I had a glass of wine and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I recall my doctor saying that at that stage of the pregnancy, you really can't harm the baby as long as you're doing things in moderation.

Our baby was born perfectly healthy and beautiful. I think the only the discomfort from that evening was the stares I got in the restaurant. But who cares!

Most important is to do what you think is best for you and your baby! Good luck.
N.

Its perfectly OK to drink an occasional glass of wine or beer in the last trimester, just dont get drunk. One glass of wine will not retard your babies development. Have fun at the wedding.

My doctor said a glass of wine is fine in the third trimester. Enjoy-- you deserve it!! :)

I would not have any wine... not because of any scientific or moral reason, but for your own emotional well-being. What if your child was born with some difficulty or disability? It's possible that you could spend the rest of your life second guessing that decision to have a little wine. It's just not worth it. You can spend the rest of your life being proud of yourself for making personal sacrifices to ensure the best possible start for your children.
Good luck! --P. S.

Dear K.,

I feel like you got a range of answers with a distinctly U.S. slant so I thought perhaps you and the rest of the readers might benefit from a European slant. Rather than give you my own, please find a discussion on the same topic at the Berkeley Parents Network: http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/pregnancy/drinking.htm...

Major point there, a lot of the advice we receive from U.S. doctors revolves around what their insurance company will allow them to tell us and that this issue is very time and culture based. My mother was in the U.S. at the time that she was pregnant with me (1971, near NYC) and her doctor actually recommended a beer per day, to relax at the end of her pregnancy and to help stimulate milk production when she was breastfeeding me.

I delivered my 3 year old here, but then spent considerable time in the UK and Spain, where the doctors said that a glass of wine improved breastfeeding for mothers and babies.

I think the point that one of the other posters makes and is made in the Berkeley discussion about the risk of being talked about or even violence is one to consider.

Best wishes and enjoy the wedding! C.

My dr told me I could have 3 drinks throughout my entire pregnancy. Only 3 rules about it - No hard liquor (only beer or wine), don't drink them all at the same time, and the last (he was being funny), don't tell anyone he was my dr... lol... but seriously, he said when I was 8 months pregnant and uncomfortable and couldn't sleep to drink a glass of wine and I'd sleep like a baby. I think I had 1 drink my entire pregnancy. Maybe 2... I don't really remember. But, I don't think a glass of wine at a wedding would be bad at all.

I honestly didn't realize how much of an issue this really is, I have to say I raised my eyebrow at some of the responses on here. I would just like to say that my doctor told me a glass of red wine a week would keep my daughters heart healthy,how ever I didn't feel the need to consume a glass a week,but I did have at least 2 glasses while I was pregnant. I feel like the only reason you felt like you had to ask is because society tells us it is wrong. Well I feel like you should have a glass if you want to. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself and don't worry about society's opinions. You as a mother know what's right for you and your baby.

My opinion is wait until after you have the baby, you have come so far in not having any alcohol while pregnant. I pray for a healthy baby, i don't drink or smoke and have had 5 pregnancies and my all my pregnancy was great except we found out our son had a Heart Defect, a very rare heart defect, cause unknown. He has half a heart. he is 19 months this week and doing great, but there were so many things that went threw my head trying to figure out what i did wrong to cause this, and of course i didn't take any medicine at all for aches and pains, but thats the thing i didn't do anything, but i still tried to blame this on me and my husband blamed himself. I am praying for your baby to be HEALTHY IN ALL WAYS! but just don't give yourself a reason to blame yourself for anything if something does come up. Alot of people might say hey a glass a wine isn't going to hurt, but how do we know? Its just safe to keep yourself healthy and your baby. I even drank grapejuice at communion at church because i didn't want one ounce of alcohol in my system, but thats just me. Good luck with your decision and Congratulations on your new baby!!
S. mommy to 5 beautiful amazing children, 17yrs,9yrs,7yrs,3yrs,and 18 months, Check out my sons journey at www.liamlockhart.com

I had 1-2 glasses of wine a week while I was pregnant after the 4th or so month. You should be fine to have a glass of wine.

Hi K.,
In my opinion (and my doctor ok'ed it)1 glass of wine every once in a while is fine... especially with a meal where you have plenty of food in your stomach. I had a glass here and there with both of my pregnancies and my girls are both fine and way ahead of the developmental curve.
Enjoy!

Go for it- the baby will be fine. You will not find a case anywhere that says that 1 glass of wine during an entire pregnancy can have bad effects. A relaxed mommy makes for a happy baby! I allowed myself a glass or 2 in the 3rd trimester w/ my first pregnancy. With my second pregnancy I allowed myself a glass/ week during the 3rd trimester. Both my babies were born strong and healthy.

Hi K.,

I know every doctor is different, but my OB (my daughter is 2) made it very clear to me that an occasional glass of wine during the 3rd trimester put the baby at no risk. So enjoy moderately! ;)

Hi K.:

A glass a wine (red wine) is no big deal don't really know why only red but that's what I've heard and read. With my first I didn't have one drink but with my second I had I think two glasses of wine throughout my pregnancy and nothing happened to either one both very healthy happy babies. I am now pregnant with my third and I've had one glass of wine. You can't drink everyday excessively but one glass once in a while is fine. I'd talk to your doctor anyways to feel more comfortable and remember you will get stares that's the hardest part. If I would have wine I would do it in the comfort of my own home to avoid that or around family that I knew I wouldn't be judged. Good luck!!

My doctors were always fine with an occasional glass of wine in the third trimester. My understanding is the first trimester is the most dangerous, followed by the second, etc... and during one of my pregnancies the doctor encouraged me to have a glass of red wine once a week during the last trimester.

Though I would never advocate indulging every night or on a regular basis, I have always thought a glass of wine on a special occassion during pregnancy is no big deal. The bigger problem is the looks that some people may give you or the direct confrontation some "do-gooder" may give you if they see you, a visably pregnat woman, drinking wine. I have noticed people feel very intitled to give you their opinions on things once they see you are pregnant.

MPO - I think it's fine. I drank coffee and espresso until they were born. I didn't exclusively drink that and I limited it more when pregnant. My kids are healthy and normal. I would even have a sip of beer from the hubby if we went out. I think you are smart for asking opinions and kinda doing your own research. Good job for you! Nowadays, parents will hear one or two things and keep it as gospel - not even hear/listen to an opposing opinion.

Have fun at the wedding!

I did not hav aany caffeine or alcohol or MSG w/ my first pregnancy. with my second one I was a bit less strict. I would perhaps get yourself the glass of wine, split it into TWO and slowly sip the two glasses (originally was one glass) over the course of the evening.
ENJOY!

Hi, K.. LOL In 1979,mMy midwife group kept ORDERING me to have a glass of brandy at least once a day to calm my nerves. I did not take that advice on a daily basis, but the good news is that the baby wasn't harmed by my occasional sips of brandy. Your baby won't be harmed by a glass of wine, either.

Bear in mind...1 small glass. Don't drink any more than that. Don't drink every day. Don't drink hard liquor like whiskey, vodka or rum, at all. You and baby should be fine, but you are smart to check with your doctor before doing it at all. If you have any kind of blood pressure problems or kidney problems, you might not be able to drink anything alcoholic at all. Otherwise, enjoy yourself! I hope the wedding is fabulous.

Peace,
Syl

Enjoy a glass of wine! I would just make sure you already had something to eat- don't drink on an empty stomach and drink some water while sipping your wine- don't let anyone shame you out of having a glass.

Jill

I was told by my OB, friends and family it was fine to have a glass here and there during my 3rd trimester while PG with my son. I'm sure it would've been a nice treat but I had MANY aversions during pregnancy including wine and all alcohol (and most food LOL). I think that if you can stomach the smell and it's only a glass at a wedding then go for it.

Hi K.! I am also in pregnancy #2...and like you, I did not have a drop to drink in the first one. I personally think a whole glass of wine sounds like a lot..and trust me, I would like one too! If we go out to eat, I might have a tiny sip of my husbands...but if it were me, I would not have a whole glass. I am just like that...I like to err on the side of caution. I don't know the facts about how much wine can really effect the baby...but the satisfaction I would get from one glass would not be worth any possible side effects. Maybe get just an inch or less in your glass...so you still have the same feel of a drink in your hand at the festivities. Have fun at the wedding!!
A.

I remember my mom saying she would have a glass of wine a day to keep early contractions at bay, that's what dr.s prescribed back in the 70's. I also recall that at a wedding or event, if a woman chose to drink water while everyone toasted on champagne or wine, everyone whispered as to whether or not she was pregnant. Being so obviously pregnant might get you some less than approving stares and I'm sure someone will feel the need to come tell you that you are harming your baby, even if it is just a tiny bit. Havign a sip or two is not going to hurt baby because your liver will metabolize it before getting to the baby, but the reason people can get buzzed or drunk on any alchohol is because it is a poison and when our bodies can't work fast enough to get the toxin out of our bodies, we feel the effects of the poison. Would you drink a tiny bit of bleach, or spray just a little poison on your skin, knowing that it will be absorbed into your system? Would you eat tuna fish tainted with too much mercury? Would you allow any toxin into your body while pregnant? I guess the point is, if there is an alternative ( for example saying, no thank you, I'll have water, I'm pregnant)why not take it. If your intent is not to become intoxicated, then you are choosing to drink the wine for the taste alone, can't that just wait until your body is not responsible for nurturing the growth of the love of your life. don't get me wrong, I am NOT against alchohol consumption, I just think that we have our whole lives to enjoy it in moderation and sometimes, during pregnancy and lactation, we need to put it on hold. You wouldn't try to run a marathon, or wrestle an untamed stallion right now, because it could harm the baby. Think of the woman who is barely pregnant and drinking heavily, smoking and more, you might be the example she needs to realize that her baby's health needs to come first. Best of wishes making a good decision for you, but I think your conscience is telling you to rethink this possibility, that's why you wrote in, right?

Don't drink ANY alcohol while pregnant or breastfeeding. You've gone this far without having anything to drink, you can go the rest of the way without.

What will you possibly loose if you do not have that glass of wine? I am in my 3rd trimester too and I did have a glass of wine once with a friend and it was not even a special occasion but I just felt like having a glass. At that point, I didn't feel I had to check with anyone. I just followed what my body allowed me to do. If you ask most of the doctors they will tell you to try avoid drinking alcohol period. And they are right to say so. So I would go back to my initial question. Have lots of fun at the wedding.

I know you have gotten a TON of responses already. I did not read them all, but read a lot of them, and just wanted to add that, yes, doctors DO know that ONE glass of wine will not harm your baby. They know that. The reason pregnant women are told not to drink is becasue there is a point when alcohol consumption WILL harm your baby, but that is a very fine line, and has yet to be identified how much is safe and how much is dangerous. So to err on the side of caution, we are told not to drink during pregnancy, which is a smart idea. But, do not panic that you are going to harm your baby by having one glass of wine...that simply isn't true.

A glass, or maybe even two will not hurt you or the baby! Go ahead have a glass and enjoy the wedding!!!

oops.....I didn't look at the date....Glad you had a good time

Darlin, a glass of wine WILL NOT HURT YOUR BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you read some of the books that are published they even say that if you have braxton hicks that a glass of wine is good.

GO TO THE WEDDING AND HAVE A MARV TIME!

i think that if your dr says it's ok, then it will be. after the first months of pregnancy everything is done forming anyways isn't it? but i will tell you, prepare for the nasty looks and comments that people will give to you.
i was at a restaraunt one time while i was pregnant, and i was sitting at the bar with my husband while he was drinking a beer and i had a glass of water. you wouldn't believe the waitresses who came over or looked at what i was drinking and were staring at me and whispering. so good luck

A glass of wine?! OF COURSE! My midwives advised me to have a drink here and there towards the end because I was getting so anxious. Don't get wasted, but don't live in fear that your baby will get F.A.S. that will only happen if you spend your whole pregnancy drinking on a regular basis. Go to the wedding and enjoy yourself and have a guilt free glass of wine. If it makes you feel better I had one beer every two weeks for the majority of my pregnancy.

I think Norma made an excellent point. I don't think there is anything wrong with having A glass, or a few sips of wine during the third trimester. Not something I would indulge in routinely or repetitively during that time, mind you. But once, A glass, not a big deal. However, you might consider how other people will view it. Not because I think other people's opinions are more important than your own, but b/c it is a wedding. You don't want everyone's memories (particularly the BRIDE's) tainted by gossip about YOU (drinking during pregnancy). I'm by no means supporting gossip, or suggesting that it would be appropriate for people to engage in, but the fact is, people WILL gossip. I would be concerned about how the gossiping will affect the overall tone of the wedding/reception, is all. If you REALLY want to partake, perhaps share a few sips with/from your husband's glass, which will let other people recognize that this is a "special occasion" sip in honor of the bride and groom, and head off assumptions that you don't care about your baby.
Whatever you decide, enjoy the wedding!

You can have a glass of wine. Who ever has a problem with that should mind their own business. I had a glass of wine at least twice a week with all four of my kids. They are all perfectly fine... Enjoy the party and have a good time.

New Year's came about when I was nearly 8 months pregnant and my doctor told me to have a glass of wine that night...so I say, as long as you keep it to just one glass, go for it! Especially if you are given the green light from your doc!

Well, I have a friend who drank the occasional glass of wine; however, I just read an article that the alcohol passes through the placenta to the babies brain.

Believe me, I need a glass of booze but 9/10 months is such a short time to wait.

It's your decision.

I know people who had a glass of wine or two and their kids seem fine. I wouldn't drink when I was pregnant because we have alcoholism in both sides of the family, and I didn't want to do anything to encourage her to get a taste for it in utero, with the family weakness for it...

Although a glass of wine would probably not hurt, I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt and the regret should anything bad happened. So truly, it is wiser not to drink at all. You can have fun, make a toast with a glass of water too, and keep you and your baby healthy. You ask us our opinion, imagine you asking your baby, I am sure he is just fine and happier in his uterine bubble without alcohol. Enjoy the wedding!

"I did it and my children turned out just fine" or "My mom did it and I turned out just fine". Seriously? I am floored by how many people gave you that sort of advice on this! I have no idea if one glass of wine that late in pregnancy WILL harm your child, but certainly it CAN. I was raised not wearing a bike helmet or seat belt and "I turned out just fine" so does that mean it's a smart idea just because I dodged those bullets??? Of course not! My opinion is you KNOW in your heart you shouldn't do it and that's why you wrote your question here. If you thought it was OK, you would get the green light from your doctor and do it without posting something here that you KNEW would get mixed reactions. You want to do it so you were looking for someone to tell you it's OK. Well, apparently lots of your child's future classmates turned out OK, so take your seatbelt off, hop on a bike with no helmet, and enjoy that glass of wine.

I see no reason why a glass would hurt. As you know, I am sure, they say wine is also good for your blood so enjoy!!
Just curious, what type of at home job do you have? Is it something you do over the internet?

Enjoy yourself and do not fret...you are not planning to binge...in fact, your doctor will probably tell you it's ok to enjoy a glass of wine at dinner. I am a wine drinker; and it was a conscious effort to refrain while pregnant; but the champagne toast at my friends' wedding, the glass of wine at dinner at a birthday party I did enjoy. Babies are all fine.
Many Blessings, S.

When I told my ob that I would stop drinking when I stopped birth control, she said "How are you going to get pregnant that way?". While she said I should quit drinking after I became pregnant, she didn't feel that I would be placing my baby in jeopardy. I did limit my intake and stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant.

Alcohol on a regular basis, even if you don't get drunk, can affect your child developmentally. I don't think think the European attitude about alcohol during pregnancy is the healthiest for the baby. But that's with regular exposure.

I had sips of my husband's beer or wine to taste it occasionally. One time in my third trimester I had the biggest craving for wine, so I had half a glass and loved it. I'm sure it didn't do my baby any harm, and it was almost impossible to ignore my cravings during pregnancy anyway. Luckily for me it was a one-time craving.

I say go for it, and enjoy it guilt-free. If you're going to feel bad, then don't do it. But if it will be tasty and fun, then do it!

K.,

I seriously doubt one glass of wine would hurt. Now, if you ask for the whole bottle, I'd think twice (smile). As you mentioned, speak with your doctor first; he's the expert.

In my opinion you are pregnant for only a short while of your life. This is temporary and although I maybe the only one stating this among the other replies I believe that you should abstain from such a thing. Your child is drinking and eating everything you do. Would it be to much to wait just a little longer until you give birth to have your next glass of wine? Celebrate when you have your baby and not before. I would not do it and I have had 2 babies. Another thing is, do you really want to drink in front of others with there stares and looks, it defeats the enjoyment of the glass of wine. I would NOT do it!

I've read it's OK in the 2nd trimester but my OB was VERY adamant about NOT drinking anything. I don't drink so it was never a problem. Why would you risk it?

When in doubt, don't do it.