A Fussy Child at Feeding Times.

Hi,
As long as she is taking her formula, she is just fine. That is all the nutrition she needs for the first year. The solid foods are just there to get used to. My daughter is the same way. It is frustrating - just keep trying and know that she is just fine :) My daughter actually prefers adult food to baby food...

As the mother of the one of the fussiest eaters ever, (she is now 6 and still tricky to feed), I can tell you one thing for sure. SHE WILL NOT STARVE!! I know it is the most difficult thing in the world to believe and still harder not to worry about, but it is true. Children (and babies) have the most amazing ability to self regulate. It is a shame that somewhere along the line we are forced out of this. You must trust totally that she will be o.k in terms of food intake because otherwise you pass the worry and fear on to her and this makes meal times even more fractious. One fight you will NEVER win is over food. It is the one area all babies and children can control in their lives so it is hugely important to make it fun and have the right attitude. I have learnt this the hard way.

I do however believe that it is quite important for anything but the most laid back of kids to get in to a routine and to stick to it. They really thrive on the safe feeling of "knowing what comes next". I also recommend feeding her dinner a good hour before her bed time bottle. What I always did was give dinner - and perhaps letting her hold something she can feed herself like a piece of toast or (depending on how many teeth) a carrot stick. Often a distraction of this sort will let you get the food in her mouth. Then we did bath and pj's then it was quiet time with the bottle and bed time stories. If you really stick to it day in and day out there will be a soothing quality to it because she will know that the same thing happens every day. Also don't forget that they don't eat a huge amount at this stage their tummies are still very little!

I hope this helps. Best of luck!

Children are made with their own gauges...they know when they are tired and hungry. breaking a child of a bottle is very difficult. but know that she is getting all she needs. babies are amazing and don't know how to anorexic...not to say that she is starving herself, but as long as she does eat meals, the 3 meals a day is something we try to enforce, but sometimes it just doesnt' pan out that way, she may want 5 small meals instead. As for dad's house, there is not much you can do. maybe she just feels more comfortable with you and eating "real" foods is something that will take time to eat at dads... be patient. :o)

Dear F.,

You can stop worrying that she will go hungry or become mal nourished. I worked in a day care center for infants some years back and the pediatrician told the mothers that they don't have to feed food to the babes in the first year. I really could hardly believe that, but he did say it. Also, the one thing that is a bit of hope is that she eats when you are there. I noticed that my gr grandchildren did eat a decent amount when I was sitting with them, if they half fed themselves finger foods, and I half fed them with the spooned foods. They seemed to like my presence and attention. My grandson told me a long time ago that he has fond memories of our family sitting around the table eating together. So that must be something that children enjoy and makes them feel comfortable. Now about Dad's house, just tell him what you do. Men do have a hard time being patient, so, maybe he will learn some patience, or not. Who knows?

When she starts screaming, just let her down from the high chair and wash her face and hands and let her play.

She will get the idea that you are not going to put up with the crying and yelling in the high chair. Don't talk too much about it with her. I do think that you have been doing a lot of good thinking and trying with this food and bottle problem. So you will work it out as time goes by. Be patient, and remember, she will not go hungry or become mal nourished. O.K.? Her brain and her body will become truly hungry and she will definitely eat , yes, she will.
C. N.

This is common. Just don't force it. She won't starve.

For the first year of life, a baby's PRIMARY source of nutrition is breastmilk/formula. Some breastfed babies, for the first year, primarily feed on breastmilk, not solids. They are fine.

She's probably just not ready... give her time. It's okay. There is no "rush" to have them eating "solids" like a grown kid or toddler. They are needing to get used to it... and each baby has their own pacing.

Not sitting still is also common. They are a baby and they are just that way. Even as a toddler, they have a hard time sitting still. They don't even have impulse control yet either, until they are about 3 years old. Lots of babies don't like high-chairs too.

You best ask your Pediatrician about introducing all those foods to her. For us, my Pediatrician said not to introduce "meats" until 1 years old. And introduce foods that are only safe for babies....per allergenic reactions.

As for "milk"... this is started at 1 years old. Not before then. Now, she should be having breastmilk or formula.

Their digestive organs and system is STILL developing. Thus, don't introduce foods unless you know it is age appropriate.

Also, ask your Pediatrician about giving her "Polyvitamins." It's liquid vitamin drops that you put in their milk, for babies.

For me, I was still nursing my kids on demand at this age. Or formula. But it was on demand. I never "scheduled" nursings/feedings... even if it was every hour that they needed to nurse, I did. On demand...day and night. For a baby, this is still important. If she wants her bottle, give it to her. She is rejecting solids... but in time, she will adjust to it.

My son was similar to that.. I just made sure he fed/nursed on demand, and I used the Polyvitamins too.

Just make sure that your baby is still growing and gaining weight appropriately? At 9 months, she should have her "well-baby" check up. Discuss your concerns with your Pediatrician then.

Each baby is different. As long as she is developing normally, gaining weight, and alert and growing, she should be fine.

When she is throwing a fit at meal time.. just stay calm. Don't force it. No need to scold or punish at this age. If she refuses to eat, just stop. Wait for another time. Give her her milk.

All the best,
Susan

Hi F.,
I can see that you are having a hard time right now from your posts. Hang in there, stay calm, try not to get overwhelmed. These stages are normal and just part of your daughter's development. As far as feeding (I have an 8 1/2 mo old daughter too), I always put down some finger foods on her high chair tray BEFORE I put her in her seat, it serves as a distraction while she's gets belted in. She really enjoys feeding herself and she will take spoonfuls from me in between her own self served bites. I have the most success w/ dry type foods that are easy for her to pick up: Cheerios, Gerber Graduates Finger Foods (these are fruit/veggie rice puffs that sort of melt in her mouth), well cooked peas, little pieces of shredded chicken or ground beef, shredded cheese, diced avocado...you get the idea. I also give her a round handled plastic baby spoon to handle herself. Maybe have Dad feed her favorite foods, that too may go over better. Good luck to you! ~~L.

Babies are always fussy about feeding. I understand that it is very difficult to see them not eat, but they will not starve themselves. The best thing to do is to put her on a schedule. I hated this idea at first, but after awhile I realized how much it helps. Babies are better with a schedules, but it takes time to put them on it, so don't expect dramatic changes. Give it at least a week or two. Pick a time for her for her breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. Feed her as much as she wants during those meals. After that, wait at least 2 hours before feeding her again. It sounds long, but it's not. Then give her her next meal. Eventually, she will recognize that it's feeding time and will eat better with ease. When she's done with her food and she wants her bottle, just give it to her. Her bottle is her first food and that is what she knows best. She is still learning about solids. She won't drink formula for the rest of her life. Also, formula gives her the energy, the vitamins and minerals that will sustain her, so again, she will not go hungry. Also, look at what she eats in a weeks time. You will see that she is probably getting enough food in her system. I hope this helps. Good Luck.

Don't be scared! :) My daughter would NOT eat food! she would maybe take a few bites of things but then spit it out, gag on it and simply not open her mouth. She was breastfeeding and that's all she wanted. I talked to her Pediatrician and he told me that as long as she was gaining weight and she was happy to keep BF her. He told me i could give her vitamins (liquid for infants) if i desired but he was not concerned cause she was healthy.
So i would say as long as your daughter is happy and healthy not to push it. My daughter started eating at 9 1/2 months and now she would rather eat then nurse! she will eat anything and EVERYTHING!
Good luck and enjoy your precious beauty!

Hi F., It could be that youer baby doesn't like being restrained in the high chair, it also could be that when you are feeding her, shes not hungry, and at 8 months old I would be giving her food that has more substance than pureed food. She's not going to go hungry, at 8 months old you can give her cherrios, my kids were eating crackers and 8 months, there's always going to be something you can get down her, and 8 months old you do not want to over do the milk, and what I would do at 8 months, give her a cup,I started my babies on a cup as soon as they could sit up, they still had the bottle, but I also had them on the cup. The only other thing, she could be teething. I would just make a couple changes that i suggested, and I am sure you will get a lot more, and see what works for you and your daughter. J.

I agree with the last poster. Try to put her on a schedule, but realize that it's flexible. If her nap is shorter/longer, everything will be a little off and that's totally okay. She will thrive on a schedule, because her body will get used to napping at 10 am (or whenever), lunch at noon, bottle at 1, etc. You might need to adjust her feeding time so that she's not piggybacking meals with the bottle. Separate them out a little bit more if you can--you might need to bump up lunch a little earlier, or turn it into a snack after nap, whatever. And right now, she is just learning to eat people food---the formula or breastmilk will provide her with all the nutrition she needs, and the food will give her a little extra calories. Mostly you're just teaching her to eat, because she'll need the calories and nutrients in her 2nd year. So, relax, everything is fine. And it's totally okay if she's not eating those jarred "dinners". Fruits and veggies is okay. Her eating habits, likes and dislikes are being learned and will continually change. One day she may love something, the next week~~not! Don't force her to eat--let this be a pleasant and fun time. When she starts to fuss and refuse food, clean her up and put her down. She's telling you she's done and she's the boss in the highchair!!

You sound frustrated, but little ones can test our nerves. First, be patient. She's just learning to eat and it takes time. Make sure she eats her meals at the same time every day. Try giving her a bottle when she wakes up and then waiting an hour or so before giving her food so she has some time to get hungry. www.weelicious.com has great feeding tips and recipes, that might also help you out.

F., if you are not already putting small, bite-size pieces of food on your daughters tray, maybe you should, this way it gives her something to do w/ her hands. Gerber has great bite-size snacks, cut up small pieces of cheese or chicken, anything cut small that she can smash w/ gums and teeth. At 8 1/2 mos. she should have something in front of her to start progressing her motor skills. Also, there is a book called Your Baby's First Year, by Steven P. Shelov, MD, MS it is fabulous. Luckily, my pediatrician gave this book to me on my 1st child and it helped me religously w/ my 2nd. Gives you hints on food and behavior, milestones for growth. Where the child should be for the ages appropriate. Good Luck, each year is a different challenge. My boys are 4 3/4 and 3 1/2.

Has this always been a problem, or is this a new thing? My daughter (now 11mo) started rejecting foods when there was something else she liked better, and sometimes she just goes through a phase of not liking something for a month and then she likes it again.

For the refusing to sit, perhaps you can try feeding her in a different place (rotate or move the high chair/sit her on your lap/booster seat/outside on a blanket...???) to change the atmosphere--it might be just enough distraction from the throw-a-fit routine. And at this age, if she eats very little before bottle, I would think that's okay. I'm sure your pediatrician will have suggestions at your next appt. too.

My daughter swipes/throws foods she doesn't want and I either determine if she wants something else or ending the feeding--try another food and if she still rejects, then end. Or sometimes she just needs a drink of water before eating... have you introduced a cup/sippy cup yet? She probably won't take much from it, but maybe she has a dry mouth.

You can also try finger food like Gerber Puffs. My daughter started rejecting pureed food when she learned to self-feed little finger foods, so I started exploring all the soft, mush-able solids I could find (puffs, cheerios*, little pieces of fresh fruit like apricot peach and watermelons, small pieces of bread)
*Be careful with Cheerios not to let her take too many and stash them in her mouth or they clump together in a ball that she can choke on.

My understanding is that babies eat what they need and stop when they are full, so... Keep trying, and unless she seems to loose weight or acts lethargic, trust both your baby to let you know when she is hungry or not and of course your own motherly instincts :-)

Babies don't need food during their first 12-15 months. All they need is breastmilk or formula. Many perfectly healthy cultures and societies do not start babies on food until well into their first year. Our culture tends to push the limits in the opposite direction, starting food very early, and many different kinds of food, too. Rest assured that your daughter's nutrition is not at risk as long as she is getting all the formula she needs. Formula should be her main source of nutrition, and should not be withheld from her in favor of baby food. At her age, baby food is just for fun. Your fun, mostly. She seems to be eating a lot of foods for an 8 month old. If she isn't interested in eating food, so be it. No big deal. As long as she is getting her formula, all is well. It is all her body needs.

As for cheerios and carrots - sheesh! I've never heard of giving an 8 month old an actual carrot. Cheerios can wait until she has more teeth. Do not worry about this stuff. Just give her the bottle, give her baby food if and when she likes it, and tune out 99% of the advice you get telling you "she needs this" or "she needs that". I am the mom of four, oldest 26 and youngest 8. And grandma of a 2 year old. I remember well the landslide of "helpful advice" first time moms get from everyone under the sun. Can drive you nuts trying to sort it all out! Just relax and enjoy your sweet little girl. She will be just fine. :0)

Fussy? Nah! This is normal. She can't talk so she is doing the best to tell you what she wants and I think you nailed it in your request! It is OK for her to not want her solids yet. In the first year, breastmilk and/or formula should be her main source of nutrition. You can introduce solids along the way but don't worry if she isn't getting her fill from them.

Relax and have fun!
M.

Just a thought, maybe she's ready to feed herself? My son refused to eat baby food at about 7 1/2 months and since then has been eating whatever we eat at the table. I just cut it up smaller for him, and then he feeds himself. He no longer likes being fed--he's definitely asserting his independence but it's also worked out great for us as we all sit down and eat together and he takes care of himself at meal times. Maybe your daughter's expressing frustration because she wants to feed herself?