I have read a lot about tantrums, but I wanted to hear from real mothers. My daughter will be 2 yrs old on Sunday, Oct 1st. A couple of months ago she started having these rages where she bites Herself, pulls hands full of Her own hair out, scratches her face, and screams at the top of her lungs. Right now, she has scratches on her face and bruises on her arm from her rages. I try comforting, holding, ignoring and even talking to her but most of the time it enrages her more. She has enraged on her cousins (13, 10, 9), her grandmother, me, grandpa, and even her dad. We stop her instaintly from doing this but she really quick to fire up... when she's told NO or we don't jump as quick as she thinks we should. I have just started time-out but I really don't think she fully understands the meaning behind time-out. Any suggestion....??????
I want to Thank You Mothers for your input on things... You have giving me some good suggestions, that I am going to definitly try. I have to say with everything going on yesterday (her birthday), she didn't get bent out of shape all day (Thank God). I will try to repost in the near future about how my baby girl is doing!
Ignore her. She does that to get your attention and/or to get her way. She won't do anything that will hurt her too badly...and eventually if you just keep walking away and ignoring her behavior she will learn that it is ineffective and hopefully stop. Hope this helps!
Little ones are still learning how to control their feelings. Although the concept of time-out may be over her head, it will give her the chance to settle down. You don't need to call it time-out. When my son starts (sometimes anger, sometimes crying) I tell him he needs some quiet time. We have him sit somewhere where there is no distractions (other people, tv, or toys to look at)And then I'd leave the room. At first he wouldn't sit in a chair, but I would explain that sometimes it's hard to understand our feelings and he needed to take some time to calm down, and when he's ready to come get me so we can talk. I took a while and consistency is vital. Now he's five and we don't have the tantrums, but sometimes when things get overwhelming, we still use quite time.
Hope this helps! J. <><
I HAVE A FOUR YEAR OLD THAT USE TO BE THE SAME WAY . HE WOULD HIT ,BIT , AND KICK EVERYONE THAT WOULD MAKE HIM MADE .HE EVEN GOT KICKED OUT OF DAYCARE BECAUSE HE WOULD GET MADE AND TAKE IT OUT ON HOO EVER WAS AROUND . I FINDLY TOOK HIM TO SEE A DOC ABOUT IT AND THEY PUT HIM ON MEDS THAT HAVE SEEMED TO HELP . I WAS AGENST IT AT FRIST BECAUSE FACE IT YOU DON'T WAN'T TO PUT YOUR KIDS ON MEDS TO STOP THEM FROM BEING THERE SELFS . BUT WHEN THEY START HUIRTING OTHER PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO THINK WHATS BEST FOR THE CHILD IT WAS A HARD DISITION FOR ME TO MAKE I'M A SINGLE MOTHER OF FOUR AND HIS DADS NOT REALY IN THE PICTURE. SO I DIDN'T REALY HAVE ANY ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT IT . I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU TO PUT YOUR CHILD ON MEDS BUT ATLEST CHECK OUT OTHER OPTIONS . I'M HERE IF YOU WANT TO TALK SOME MORE . HOPE THIS HELPS YOU OUT SOME.
M.
B. have you tried using what's called a naughty mat or naughty chair? I saw an episode of SuperNanny last year where a mom who had 4 kids that were out of control with their tantrums. She designated a place that was known as the naughty place and everytime they acted out they had to go to that place and stay. She made them stay 1 minute for every year of their age. So your two year old would stay there for 2 minutes. Now at first the kids would get up and leave the naughty place and she would put them back..it was consistent. It took about a week, but the kids got better. All the mom had to say was that if they didn't stop they had to go to the naughty place. Of course you can't expect your child to be perfect...there is always something, but maybe something like this is worth a try.....it can't hurt. Good luck!
T.
This was posted in 2006 and now it's 2011. Did you find a solution? If so, what worked? I'm in the same situation right now, and I could use any voice of encouragement right now. I'm hoping it's a phase! Right now, I'm trying Time-Outs. I've tried spankings or "Reminders" is what we call them, to "Remind" them of how they should behave, but to no avail. She constantaly screams the words, "OW and Owie" and I fear that someone will think that I am abusing my child. Scratching herself, kicking and screaming to the point of making herself throw up. Sigh. Again, please tell me it's a phase! How is your daughter now? What did you do?
JP
Hi, in my opinion she either is doing it for the attention or she just doesn't know how else to express her frustration. I would talk to her pediatrition, she could possibly be on the autism spectrum. Theres medication that can help if she's really bad. J.
ONE SUGGESTION THAT I HAVE, WHICH IS A TECNIQUE THAT I STARTED A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO WITH MY DAYCARE KIDS AND MY OWN 2 YEAR OLD SON, STEERS AWAY FROM DISCIPLINE AND LEANS MORE TOWARDS GUIDANCE. SET UP A SPOT IN YOUR HOME WITH SOME PILLOWS ON THE FLOOR, AND A BAG OF QUIET THINGS FOR HER TO DO, SUCH AS BOOKS, PUZZLES, STUFFED ANIMALS, ETC, MAYBE EVEN A TAPE PLAYER WITH HEADPHONES AND KIDS BOOK ON TAPE OR SOFT CALMING MUSIC. WHEN SHE ACTS OUT, OR YOU THINK THAT SHE IS GETTING READY TO THROW A FIT, CALMLY SET HER IN THE QUIET SPOT AND LET HER DO WHAT SHE WANTS THERE. THE GOAL IS FOR HER TO EVENTUALLY START GOING THERE ON HER OWN WHEN SHE FEELS SHE IS GETTING MAD. INSTEAD OF ACTING OUT, IT IS GIVING HER A WAY TO SOOTHE HER. OR YOU COULD TRY A CUTTING BOX. WHAT I SAY IS THAT ANYTHING IS SAFE WITH SUPERVISION. GET A BIG 20 GALLON TUPPERWARE CONTAINER AND PUT SOME AMGAZINES AND CHILD SAFETY SCISSORS IN THERE. WHEN SHE GETS MAD SIT HER NEXT TO IT, OR EVEN IN IT AND LET HER CUT UP THE MAGS. THIS COULD HELP HER RELEASE SOME AGGRESSION THAT SHE MAY HAVE. HOPE THIS HELPS.
D.
