9 Year Old Upset?

First of all, does your son have any anxiety problems?
Is he a special needs child?

What does he have to say about it?
What is he exactly crying about?
That you all leave?
That it is grandmother watching them? Do they have a poor relationship?
Or that he wants to go out to eat too
Can he deal with this during the day, but he is upset because it is night time.?
Would he do better at grandmothers house and then you all leave?

Are there any other times he is in the care of any one else? How does he act with them?

I would just ask him what the heck is going on with him..
9 years old is old enough to be able to handle this especially with a beloved grandmother.

Could this possibly be because she's worried that something will happen to her sister while you're gone? I know that you are working with your 12 year old to help her through her emotions. Your 9 year old is no doubt feeling a lot of stress. Perhaps it's a good idea to get her some help too.

A sick child in the family affects everyone, Mom.

Dawn

Nine is typically a very tough age, although parents don't usually know it until they are in the middle of it. Sorry.

Talk to him about what's going on for him. Is he feeling left out? Make a plan for the next time and see if he can follow through... but get his feedback about what sort of plan would work. He may perceive you and dad going out as being 'left out' or 'missing out'.

Just a question, and you don't have to answer it to us, but has there been a time when you thought you were just going out for a short time, but it ended up being longer? Just wondering if there is an underlying bad experience or 'predictability' issue going on. Sorry that I have no magic suggestions, but talking with him about his feelings, giving empathy, and trying to hear his good ideas might make things better.

Talk to your 9 year old and find out why he cries and screams. I'm sure there must be a reason.

This is not typical for a nine year old. In addition to what Laurie asked, does he do ok when he goes to school? Does he go on playdates? I would bring it up with his doctor.

Have you asked your 9 year old why he is freaking out?

There is no reason why a 9 year old child should act like that. I think he is doing it just to see if he can get you go come home.

I would continue to go out, but I wouldn't call anymore. If there's a problem, grandma can call you. Otherwise, assume all is well and have fun.

Just a thought. You say you don't trust babysitters and you don't go out often. Perhaps you have projected some fears or insecurities you have about leaving the kids onto your child.