my 9 month old daughter thinks its funny to hit, scratch and growl at me when im holding her or trying to play with her. ive tried holding her hand and telling her "no that hurts, its mean, ouch you hurt mommy" and look sad but then its funnier to her and does it more. her father has tried to break her of it and its worse now, every single time she gets picked up she hits, my friends (her 'aunties') dont like holding her any more cause she always hits. But when she isnt hitting she is the most amazingly smart loving baby. So happy and loves to play on the floor all day. Anyone know how to help me with this? I need to break her of this hitting habbit. any suggestions are helpful!! please and thank-you!!!!
So after dinner i was just holding her while baby einstein was on kinda playing a little, she hit a couple times right in a row, after i tried to kiss her on the top of her head. i put her down and just walked a few feet away and didnt look at her for a few min and she cried n kicked n screamed, i picked her up told her no hitting its mean and hurts and that i love her. she did it again, i think this is going to be a process! Thats ok positive thinking and actions will make it easier. thank you everyone, really apprectiate getting other moms input on things!!
When she does this, immediately and calmly put her down. Walk away and become busy with something else. If she learns that the behavior will get her no attention (even negative attention is better than none to kids), she'll eventually stop.
Honestly...since she is doing it for attention your best bet is to do the exact opposite she is hoping for...don't react at all. Carefully put her down, walk away, and ignore her COMPLETELY for a minute or two. As soon as she realizes it doesn't get her the desired effect, she will stop. Completely stop interacting with her (don't react, don't scold, don't comment...just put her down somewhere and completely ignore her for a few moments). If it takes a while for her to catch on...increase the amount of minutes you ignore her completely. My guess is it won't take long for her to catch on.
Ditto SammyJo. Ignore, ignore, ignore. This is a game for her and you are only positively reinforcing the behavior by reacting.
When you are able to hold her without hitting, make sure you give her lots of happy words, hugs, anything to let her know that she is doing the right thing.
Good luck with your little one- this really is a neat stage, they are growing so much and really getting their personalities. When they're good, it's cute, isn't it?!! Enjoy her!
whatever you do, be consistent. And make sure the other people that hold her do the same thing. I think give it absolutely no attention, if she does one thing put her down and walk away. she will get the picture. The more attention you give it the more she will do it, because at that age, she cant tell the difference between negative attention and positive, she just knows that when she hits she gets attention.
I'm with SammyJo, just put her down and turn your back. Even a 9 month old will not like the cold shoulder from Mom.
:)
I agree ignore. When she hits, scratches or bited tell her no and put her down. Don't harp on it or give her additional attention for it, but clearly show her that if she hits etc. she will not be picked up. That should curb it pretty quick.
Is your sad face funny? I would just say no and put her down. She will get it sooner rather than later...
Keep on saying no eventually she will understand.
Put her down and walk away from her every single time she does it.
It works for babies who bite while nursing.
They get it figured out.
No reaction....no faces necessary.
Just put her in her crib, pak-n-play, whatever.
If she cries, let her.
I recommend letting her cry for 5 minutes.
Some may disagree with me, but I don't agree with the one minute for every year of age thing.
Give her 5 minutes. Go in and offer a hug and THEN tell her "we don't hit/scratch/bite/growl (whatever).
If she does it again, put her back down and walk away.
You never know, she might just not want to be held right at that minute and be happier being put down anyway.
Stranger things have happened.
Best wishes.
Sounds like she does NOT want to be picked up... when she is playing on the floor. As you said, she is 'so happy and loves to play on the floor all day."
So, when she is abruptly picked up, and has to 'stop' what she is doing... she does not transition well, to that 'change' in pace.
She is a baby, so she can't talk and that is how she is expressing her frustration.
Try and teach her baby Sign Language.
I did with my kids since 6 months old.
It helps.
Teach her functional words. ie: happy, sad, more, hungry, tired, no, stop, eat, drink, etc.
Babies this age have no impulse control nor fully developed yet.
all the best,
Susan
