9 Month Doctor's Visit Question

I'd throw that silly paper away. ;)
The only info my ped. ever gives me is nutritional info. And I appreciate it cause we are on the same crunchy page.

I rarely ever listen to anything my doctor says about parenting. I'll do what I think is appropiate for my child.

My doctor's office does not print notes for the parent. The pediatrician herself talks to me and asks me questions about milestones and feeding/sleeping habits. She allows me to ask any questions that I have and we go from there. The notes you are getting just seem like they are general guidelines or helpful hints. They are giving you a suggestion, but that is not the hard and fast rule, and you do not have to follow it to the letter. There are many styles of parenting, and no one way is the "right" way. You just have to do what feels right to you, and what is right for your family. No book or handout is going to have ALL the answers, but they can help to guide you when your way isn't working.

Doctors are not experts at child behavior - they are experts in treating a sick child. Feel free to ignore their parenting advice and do what feels right to you.

One thing to keep in mind about the age of your child is that he is at the peak time for separation anxiety. Of course he is waking in the middle of the night - he needs to know that you are still there.

These notes are based upon the "general" needs of the "average full-term healthy baby." In your case, most Pediatricians agree that a full-term, healthy baby does not need night feedings after he turns 9 months old. So, in this case, many people find this is the right time to begin night training the baby...if there's no feeding, there's no reason to be waking (except for dirty diapers, illness, etc.) That's what those papers are telling you.

You, of course, have all the choices in the world. Agree, disagree...completely up to you. Certainly, no baby has been seriously harmed by continued night feedings (aside from reinforcing that it's okay to get up in the middle of the night -- which is more of a problem over time for the Mom than the baby!) Some Moms don't want to give up this night time ritual with their babies. Some Moms simply don't agree with any type of sleep training. These are HOT topics on this board! Use the search function for "sleep training" or "night feedings" and read how passionate Moms can be regarding their point of view.

This is so funny to me! My neighbor and I were comparing "notes from the trenches" about getting up with our kids. She said she got up 2 times a night with her son--which to her was going into the bedroom and patting his back, encouraging him to go back to sleep. My eyes got wide. My kids ALL (3) have gone from sound asleep to VERY AWAKE very quickly. I know some sleep experts say kids are still mostly asleep and just want to go back to bed, but my kids are awake, standing at the side of the crib, and SCREAMING, as soon as they can pull up/sit up. Patting them on the back would almost be comical--my kids jump in the crib! I'd have to pat their backs WHILE they are jumping! I have always rocked mine back to sleep, because you're right--they'd wake the whole house. We tried CIO, but you know, three hours was just too painful for me and my husband, and it did go on for several nights of 3 hours+. After that, we've not tried it for more than 5 minutes at a time or so. Anyway--my boys were horrible sleepers. My first didn't sleep through the night til 3 1/2. My second is now 3 1/2 and is still up multiple times a night, if someone doesn't go in to sleep with him. We had a baby in December, and she, so far, sleeps like a dream--up once a night, sleeps in HOURS past her brothers. It's amazing. I can actually pat her back and get her to sleep! So...I think it's very, very different depending on the type of child you have!

Updated

This is so funny to me! My neighbor and I were comparing "notes from the trenches" about getting up with our kids. She said she got up 2 times a night with her son--which to her was going into the bedroom and patting his back, encouraging him to go back to sleep. My eyes got wide. My kids ALL (3) have gone from sound asleep to VERY AWAKE very quickly. I know some sleep experts say kids are still mostly asleep and just want to go back to bed, but my kids are awake, standing at the side of the crib, and SCREAMING, as soon as they can pull up/sit up. Patting them on the back would almost be comical--my kids jump in the crib! I'd have to pat their backs WHILE they are jumping! I have always rocked mine back to sleep, because you're right--they'd wake the whole house. We tried CIO, but you know, three hours was just too painful for me and my husband, and it did go on for several nights of 3 hours+. After that, we've not tried it for more than 5 minutes at a time or so. Anyway--my boys were horrible sleepers. My first didn't sleep through the night til 3 1/2. My second is now 3 1/2 and is still up multiple times a night, if someone doesn't go in to sleep with him. We had a baby in December, and she, so far, sleeps like a dream--up once a night, sleeps in HOURS past her brothers. It's amazing. I can actually pat her back and get her to sleep! So...I think it's very, very different depending on the type of child you have!

I do not go by the drs notes. They are there for a guideline I think. Every child and parent is different. I think do what works for you and your family the best. If you are concerned about your sleep...then maybe try some strategies to wean him off those night feedings. I know that when we are teething the whole schedule goes out the window! I have my 18mth old in a room with a 4 year old and I can tell you I move a lot quicker to placate him so he doesn't wake his sister up! Don't beat yourself up :) We are all doing the best we can and what works for one might not work for another! You could always ask your doctor for advice on the night waking!

I will be going for my dd 9 month appointment next month and I expect him to say something similar (and my husband wants to follow it) but IMO my daughter is too small for me not to feed her that night bottle. If I didnt feed her she would only average 1/2 jar of bb food 3 times a day and 2 maybe 3 6 oz bottles. Not enough IMO. Good luck. Do whatever you choose, you are the one that has to wake up with him!

I guess my daughter didn't follow the "user manual" either, LOL. Babies are human beings, they don't go "by the book". I only looked to our doctor for help if our daughter was sick. I made the decisions about sleep, feeding, etc. I BF my daughter at 1 a.m. and 5 a.m. until she stopped waking up at 13 months. I never ever considered not feeding her when she was hungry. Once she didn't need the night feedings, she slept the whole night through, no problems.

The doctor isn't in your house at night, your family is. Listen to your intuition as a mother. You know best.

I trust my doctors about medical and health concerns and follow their instructions. I respect my doctors' parenting opinions, but don't take them as a mandate. A lot of the time our opinions line up, but partly that is because I chose a pediatrician who shares my parenting values.

Hope this helps.

some times i just want to laugh in the doctor's face. my oldest who is now 6 woke up every 4 hours in the night because that was his schedule. once he was about 1 yr to 1 1/2 yrs he started sleeping all night. but i had to go lay in his room on the floor to get him to sleep but after that he was out for the night till around 7-8am. my youngest that is a different story. :-) if i want a good nights sleep i have to have some one keep him over night. he has NEVER slept good. he gets wakes up crying about 3-5 times per night. ever since he was born. doctor put him on melatonin at the end of november and guess what he started sleeping ALL night finally. then he had surgery and since then nothing works. he will be 3 in may. it sucks but not much we can do. we have cut diary out since allergy testing said he was allergic to it. that is not helping much at all. he was sleeping better when he was on diary. it sucks. but i would NEVER let a 9 month old do the cry it out method. its just not me. and the whole pat him on the back. yeah that would Never work with my youngest. it worked while my oldest was that age kinda. but not real great. good luck

Those notes are the absolute last place I would look for advice on the best way to nurture my child. Do you know who wrote the notes and on what authority? Do they even have children? How many? Are they all old enough to prove that the suggested methods worked? For advice on how to live through the day and night with my children I would ask moms--as many of them as I can and the more experience, the better.

our now 3yo dd was the same way. she wanted to be up in the middle of the night to eat, and our doctor told us that she doesn't need to be eating in the middle of the night anymore at that age. he told us the only thing you can really do is to check thier diaper and put them back in bed to let them cry it out. it's hell, but it usually only takes a week for them to not wake up at night anymore. It took our dd about 10 days, but it was worth it, because all she did was fuss anyway, even when we did give her a bottle. we also left a baby bottle of plain water in her crib, and sometimes she would just wake up and drink the water and go back to sleep.

Hi:) I didn't pay too much attention to that. My youngest lost interest in day nursing when he hit six months -- too much fun watching/playing with big brother for sitting still! He nursed during the day, but for much shorter duration that he previously had. As you'd expect, he kept night nursing every 4ish hours:)

It's a choice, but I decided that I wanted to keep nursing; and I was pretty sure I'd have to start supplementing to get him through the night (could tell I was making less because I pumped three days a week at work). My doc's literature said the same thing, but every kid/family isn't the same with the same priorities. In fact, that kind of literature irritates me, because then people think that their baby should be sleeping through the night at that age.

We allow for differences in development in so many areas, but everyone is so ready to put the babies to bed! Btw - I also was pretty bad about putting myself to bed earlier enough to compensate -- always too much to do! But if you're comfortabel with things, that's what I'd do if I were you -- try to get to bed a bit earlier yourself. Easier said than done, right:)

All babies have there own schedule and very few follow "the manual". That being said, "sleeping through the night" for a baby can be as little as one five hour stretch without waking up (this told to me by my "Mommy & Me" group leader who is an OB nurse and lactation consultant). ...And not all babies sleep through the night by nine months. Use your own intuition, if he is happy and thriving you'll be able to tell. If something is out of sorts, you'll be able to tell that to. Doctor's provide those "cheat sheets" to mothers and fathers as a reference, not to be followed 100%. If you have any concerns, talk to your doc, I'm sure he has heard it all before.

The sheets from the doc's office are just broad suggestions of what they typically see.

That said, at 9mos, I'd be dying if DD isn't sleeping through the night (she's 7mos now). We did CIO with her at 22 weeks, becuase she was in a sleeping pattern like you desscribed above. She didn't need to eat overnight anymore. (evidenced by not taking full bottles, just going back to sleep in our arms). So, I decided we were done with that! 2 nights and she sleeps 11 hrs straight through now.

DS was sleeping 12 hrs straight on his own by 4mos.

Teething has never impacted my kids waking. In fact, DD is getting her bottom 2 in right now. No change in her sleep. (plus, she's got a cold. I credit CIO for all of that!)

Back patting never worked for either of mine. It just worked them up more.
So for us, it was "let em cry" or keep getting up. There's lots of versions in there, but based on what you're describing, he doesn't know how to self soothe, and it's time to *something*.

My doctor never gave notes out about that. The recommended that my daughter sleep in her own bed, but that's it. As for going in and just patting her back, it never worked for my daughter. I had much better luck going in and picking her up for a minute or two and then putting her back down immediately. You have to find what works for your family and you.

My DD is 11 months old, and I still pick her up when she wakes up in the night. She wakes up 2x a night to nurse. I could probably teach her to go without those sessions, but I feel better knowing she is getting that extra nutrition. The paper you got wasn't a medical reccomendation, it was a parenting reccomendation. Different styles of parenting allow for different sleep habits.

From what I read, most babies do not really sleep through the night until after 1 year of age. Yes, there are some lucky parents whose kids were sleeping through the night at 3 month, but most of us are not that lucky. My son did not stop waking up every 3-4 hrs until I we stopped giving him milk every time he woke up (9-10 months). There are differnet approaches to teach your child to sleep through the night. Some of them involve letting them cry a bit, others don't. You have to find the approach that you are comfortable with. We used a combination of techniques. The key was to teach him to fall asleep on his own. That way, when he wakes up at night (which most babies and people do), he is able to fall back asleep on his own. But occasionally (he is 21 months old), if he start to whine or cry, I go in a pat him and he goes right back to sleep. You have to work your way up to that though. Good luck!

psh i never listen to my son's doctors...especially since they told me his neck muscles would correct their tightness on their own, his head would round out by 6 months, and his excema rash caused by milk protein allergies was ringworm. ah...lol sorry
my son is 2 weeks shy of 9 months, and he still gets up 1 to 2 times. i never take him out, just give him a bit of water and he's good. he's got 9 teeth, so teething can definantly be a culprit in waking alot :( i give my son a teething strip (not tablets, those are...not as good, imo) and some tylenol/motrin and he sleeps a lot better...dr's have notes on the average baby, but they don't know your specific baby, you know? some need more than the rest...

I never went by the doctors notes, just my mothering intuition. All kids are different and what works for one may not work for another.