8 Yr. Old Not Eating Breakfast

Updated on May 29, 2009
N.S. asks from Midland, MI
15 answers

My thank you note to all who responded to me. Thank you for all the great advice, I really appreciated all of it and I plan on using them. I am going to take her shopping with me and let her pick out some breakfast foods. I want her to be comfortable here and love coming to stay with us, just like she does at her Mom's house.

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

I would try giving her pancakes or waffles topped with things like fruit, ALL NATURAL maple syrup or honey... etc. Instead of pouring the syrup on top, put it on the side and let her dip it... They get less that way...

You are picking your battles... Will you choose not having your kid eat because you don't deem it "healty food" or have her start with an eating disorder by the age of 9?

By giving her breakfasts of pancakes, waffles, french toast, oatmeal etc you are keeping her from eating cookies and other unhealty food as snacks later on... Pick your battles....

There are options of "healthier" whole wheat make your own mix, add apple sauce, etc pancakes if you don't want to serve the white flour pancakes...

It won't be long before your other kids notice this not eating and try to use it themselves...

Tell her that if she eats .......... this morning you will make pancakes tomorrow for breakfast.... That way it expands her food horizens...

It is more important to train her to eat a balanced diet instead of a 100 percent healthy diet... So that when she does eat away from your house she makes balanced food choices and not just all the stuff that dad won't let her eat...

1 mom found this helpful
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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

what are you offering her for breakfast.???

why cant she have a waffle?

I would nto fight with a child about eating.. you cant win the battle and before you know it is has become a big power struggle -- or worse than that your child can end up obese or anorexic...

leave her alone kids eat when they want to.

offer some healthy choices.. fruit grain.. whatever.. but dont make a big deal about it..

1 mom found this helpful
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P.B.

answers from Detroit on

It may not have anything to do with the food at all. I grew up visiting my dad every other weekend on Sunday, I lived with my mom. My situation was probably a bit different because I didn't see my dad as often but each Saturday before I went to my dad's, I was sick. I didn't do it on purpose, and I would be literally physically ill. I would just have myself all worked up about going. There wasn't much my mom or I could do about it, but my mom did her best to calm me down and make me feel better. My mom would still make me go and by the end of the day, I felt fine and was having a ball, it was just the initial beginning part of it. Could it just be changes for her? Maybe she's having a harder time than even she thinks she is?

Just a different viewpoint on it.
Have a nice day.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.R.

answers from Grand Rapids on

N., as a child of divorced parents, it was always hard to go back and forth and back and forth between households and rules. Even when you adore both sets of parents it is much more stressful on a child than parents often realize. 20 years later and I still remember that it was okay to do one thing here but not okay there and vice versa -- it's so confusing, especially at 8! It sounds like you really love your stepdaughter. Try to remember that even though she loves you too it is probably hard to go back and forth between families! I would say pick your battles. If she likes pancakes and waffles with syrup and eats them fine at her other home, is it really a battle worth fighting? It's not like she's eating a cupcake or candy for breakfast. =) Just my two cents from a kid who's been there and sometimes, just really, REALLY longed for consistency with simple things across two homes -- like pancakes & syrup.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

i would ask her what she wants to eat. I know during the week my family gets cereal for breakfast, and on the weekends, they get either eggs, or pancakes, or french toast. All of it is healthy for you. And there are ways to make it healthier. I know my step son when he is here, he loves that i make breakfast. his mom won't feed him breakfast. But he gets his choice of syrup or powder sugar on his food, and he take powder sugar. he doesn't get much, but some. And really it's more importatnt that they eat something.

I have learned to pick battles with him. To me, him eating isn't a battle. if he doesn't like it, then he doesn't eat. he knows that's the rule. but on the same note, i try not to find him things he won't eat. I know kids will eat if they are hungry. When she is hungry she will eat.

You can always sit down with her and ask her what she wants. or take her shopping, and let her pick some things that she wants for breakfast. Then you can see what she likes, and eats. if you don't think it's healthy enough, you can then substitute items. Such as fruit topping, instead of syrup. Or give her the pancakes with a side of eggs, or potatoes. you let her "win" the battle, when you know you are "winning" as well. She gets what she wants to eat, and you can give her some of what you want her to eat.

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R.H.

answers from Detroit on

There are ways to make waffles and pancakes healthier. I understand your concern about the carbs (which turn into sugar) and then the maple syrup (which is also sugar).

Ok, here is the recipe I use to make my pancakes healthier:
I always use organic flour...but obviously that is not for everyone.

1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup whole grain flour
1/2 cup oat flour
Flax Seed*
1 TBL baking powder
pinch of salt
1 tsp honey (lower glycemic index then granulated sugar and if you use local honey you're getting the benefits of that as well!)
2 large eggs, beaten
2 TBL butter, melted
1 1/3 cup milk - this I actually will often times substitute half of this with organic whole milk plain yogurt. You have to use a little more milk ... but it tastes SO good and has a health benefit.

Start with just dividing the liquid between the yogurt and milk.... then thin out as you want. It just depends on how thick you want your pancakes.

*The Flax Seed I buy is by Hogson Mills, and is available in these individual packets (Meijer). I just throw in a packet into my pancakes, muffins, banana bread...whatever. It's a great source of those sought after Omega vitamins!

So... toss all the ingredients into a bowl.... mix well (a blender also works great) and then voila...healthier pancake batter.

You can try serving the pancakes with a mixture of boiled down fruit and just a smidge of syrup. Just boil down something like blueberries... add some syrup and you have a delicious and more nutritious breakfast. Over time you can reduce the amount of syrup and eventually your daughter will be eating her pancakes with just BERRIES! :-)

My family loves these pancakes and I know they are doing more for them then just filling them with carbs.

There are ways to make the things our kids like more healthy. Just think outside the box a little. The above recipe is one I modified from one of my cookbooks to suit my needs. It also shows our kids that you CAN be healthy and delicious. It gets THEM thinking outside the box as well.

I'm guessing the 'stomach ache' is just because she doesn't want whatever you are serving for breakfast and it's her way of exerting control. One other thing you can do to get her more interested is have her help you make the pancakes! If there isn't a lot of time in the morning, mix all the dry ingredients the night before (together) and then just throw in the wet ingredients the next day.

I hope this helps.
Good luck.

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P.H.

answers from Detroit on

You can make a "healthy" version of pancakes for her if that's truely what she'll eat. Check with allrecipes.com for some with an oat bran flour, or wheat flour, egg substitutes, or whatever specific healthy inredients you're looking for. Use a sugar free syrup, or offer her other toppings. We take fresh or frozen fruit and puree it, and them pour it over pancakes or waffles. You can also make a batch and portion them into baggies and freeze them so you're not cooking every morning.

It is important to have something in their tummys before school - kudos to you for keep trying!

Maybe offer to take her shopping for breakfast foods and give her the control to choose between two or three acceptable things that you and her dad will agree with. Don't have to give her the option of the whole cereal isle, rather narrow it down to a handful of things and let her take it from there. Sometime food struggles are a control issue and allowing her to make that decision will stop the bickering.

At 8 yrs old, she could also begin "cooking" breakfast. My daughter started mizing the eggs and measuring ingredients for french toast, or anything to make her feel a part of the breakfast process.

Sorry I don't have more to offer- my daugher had buttermilk pancakes just this morning with puree strawberries and whipped cream! ; but yesterday I made an omlette with spinach and mushrooms so I tend let it balance itself out over the course of a week. Some days are better than others, but she eats a very good dinner, and hasn't ever been a picky eater so I'm not so worried about her meals!

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K.K.

answers from Saginaw on

It is better for her to eat...no matter what it is. My mother would let us eat Lipton soup for breakfast before school....she said...at least you are eating.
I'm not sure what you are trying to feed her, but maybe it just doesn't taste good to her, and she's trying to save from hurting your feelings by saying she has a stomach ache, but really, she just doesn't like it.
Take her grocery shopping with you next time, and figure out breakfast TOGETHER. give her choices that you find acceptable, and she finds pallatable. It'll make it much easier on everyone, and not turn it into a "your house against the other house" war.

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N.W.

answers from Detroit on

I give my kid whole grain waffles on the weekends only. Why not try that...with yogurt and fruit?

Otherwise, she will eat when she is hungry.

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S.G.

answers from Lansing on

My daughter is 9-years-old and she had severe stomach aches. I finally took her to the Dr and it was determined she was allergic to milk and wheat. I now pour vanilla flavored soy milk into her cereal with a tiny bit fat free milk. Because your step-daughter likes waffles, you could compromise by purchasing wheat waffles and sugar free syrup. If you have some extra time in the morning, you could also cook some fresh apples and use this to flavor the waffles. Try it, you will love it!

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V.E.

answers from Lansing on

I'm not sure why you think pancakes or waffles are unhealthy. They are healthy, just top them with fruit. It sounds like the daughter is feeling the stress of going back and forth from mom's to dad's. Offer her something light for breakfast, explain that it may make her feel better. Offer to take her to the doctor because a stomach ache every morning is not a normal or healthy thing. Good luck.
V.

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R.G.

answers from Detroit on

I believe that maybe her stomach does not actually hurt but uses that as an excuse while visiting your home. She probably doesn't like the healthy foods you feed her for breakfast at your home. Have you tried whole grain waffles with fruit and honey or maybe sugar free syrup? Or...maybe she is eating too late at your house in the evenings and her stomach is hurting in the morning? That happens to me sometimes. Either way, I hope you get it resolved. Good luck. :)

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K.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Have you ever tried taking her to the store and giving her some healthy items to choose from? It sounds to me like her stomach ache is just a way for her to not eat "your" idea of breakfast. Kids like to feel in charge and if you give her a variety of items to choose from her stomach ache may just disappear.

Traditional ideas:
French toast, waffles, or pancakes (try wheat or whole-grain varieties)

cold cereal and milk

whole-grain toast, bagel, or English muffin with cheese

yogurt with fruit or nuts

fruit smoothie, such as a strawberry smoothie

And now some weird (but yummy) ones:

banana dog (peanut butter, a banana, and raisins in a long whole-grain bun)

breakfast taco (shredded cheese on a tortilla, folded in half and microwaved; top with salsa)

fruit and cream cheese sandwich (use strawberries or other fresh fruit)

sandwich - grilled cheese, peanut butter and jelly, or another favorite

leftovers (they're not just for dinner anymore!)

I think if you make breakfast fun it will be better for everyone. Maybe you could have her help or show her how and let her do it herself.

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M.P.

answers from Detroit on

She may say her stomach hurts in the morning because she doesn't like what you are giving her for breakfast.

I suggest making compromises, which can wean her into a healthy breakfast. Maybe let her have one pancake with a lean sausage/bacon (you know turkey sausage or bacon not letting her know it is turkey), add fruit that she likes. Will she eat eggs? You could include her in making breakfast. I realize time may not permit this on a school day, so when you have her on the weekend she could help.

She is only eight and going through a lot with her parents not being together, which you know already.

Educating her on the why a good breakfast (with little sugar and good protein) is important, she may be more receptive on eating healthier.

Making her feel like the big kid and spending time with her, I believe always helps.

You say that your fiance is amazing, I am sure his daughter is amazing too.

I wish you well in getting her to eat a healthy breakfast.

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B.A.

answers from Detroit on

I have 3 children. Two were great about eating breakfast. They had and still have cereal (often with yoghurt) when they wake up. My oldest didn't want to eat unless I made him a homemade version of an Egg McMuffin or something like that. It turns out that he has a milk intolerance. We didn't know! Perhaps that is why pancakes or waffles are a hit and the other breakfast offerings - such as cereal are not.
Good luck.
Barb

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