I can't really even talk about this. My daughter who is 8 years old and her friend who is a boy who is 8 yrs old kissed each other. The first was puckered lips which happened when they went around the building at the playground. The next time she told me it was open mouth. I ask her if she touched his tongue or if he touched hers and she said no. In the most passive way possible I just said oh well that's not appropriate behavior so I do not want you to do that again. These are not only school friends but neighborhood friends as well. Without completely trapping her I can not say she is not allowed to play. Yes I have kept a closer very closer eye on her. Today I told both of them and ask if they agreed. He said no and she said oh come on. I don't know what to do about this. Obviously his mother doesn't have a problem because she hasn't even addressed it as she told me she would.
I would not worry. I remember chasing Cory around the play ground in 2nd grade to kiss him because I thought his freckles were cute! It is normal at that age, as long as they are not making out or touching inappropriately.
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Have you ever sat your daughter down and had the birds and the bees talk? I read that the ideal age for a girl to have the discussion is between 7 and 9 because they haven't yet developed an embarrassment feeling towards it, and it's more of an educational talk, rather than an uncomfortable one. I have a 7 year old daughter and she and I just had the talk about 6 months ago. It went really well! She'd shown some curiosity on how babies started growing, and so I decided I'd rather just tell her that have her come up with her own ideas or ask friends at school. Also, do you explain to your daughter about respecting her own body and saving special moments like the first kiss for someone really special when she's old enough that it really matters to her? I've had that talk with mine and she has had a boy say he wanted to kiss her already. She said "mommy, I would never kiss him, I'm too young! He's not special enough!" So, I'm telling you, you have to have these talks with your daughter! My daughter knows that sex is saved for your husband or someone you plan on marrying (I wasn't going to be hypocritical because she knows I got pregnant with her before her daddy and I got married)....anyway, I explained to her that you will always remember the first kiss and so you want to save it for when you're older and it really means something and is something you remember for the rest of your life. She understands that, and will now grow up atleast knowing in the back of her head that kissing is for a really special moment. My mom never talked about respecting your bodies and yourself enough to say no, never talked about sex, and so I grew up not knowing anything, and never had the courage to say no. I decided a long time ago I wasn't going to let that happen to my daughter. I plan on armoring her with knowledge so she is ready for what comes her way. I would definitely sit down if I were you and have all kinds of discussions with your daughter. She obviously thinks that kissing isn't a big deal, and you surely don't want her to feel that way about other things in the future.
You might try telling them they could get sick.......sharing germs......but, I don't know......when I was young, it was no big deal, but now girls wear makeup at an ungodly age, shave their legs, worry about their weight.............
I don't think you want to push it to much, you remember what it was like when your parents told you NO......that makes it much more fun.......You might try the Oh, isn't that cute thing........that might stop it.....
I would say keep an eye out and it will probably die out on it's own......
Take care.
you need to look at the glass half full! this is nothing. im sorry, but come on, she isnt even fertile, what is there to worry about! youre stressing out too much. i can understand if this 'kiss' was taken to further limits, but im pretty sure like everyone else has said, maybe theyre copying something they see, or are just experimenting with one another.
times are different. 'PDA' is literally everywhere do you see the shows on disnesy? dont worry about it. keep a close eye on them, make sure its not progressing to anything more intimate, otherwise take further action. but as for now, just watch and see.
I think you handled this well.
' There are a couple of books that we've read with our daughters when they were about your daughter's age and they were the seed work for the idea of guarding your heart (and kisses :) The Princess and the Kiss by Jennie Bishop and there is a companion (we've used part of this) called Life Lessons from The Princess and the Kiss by Jennie Bishop with Susan Henson and it includes a Princess Ceremony Guide.
Also my husband read a book called The Three Weavers: A Tale for Fathers and Daughters and the symbolism seemed to sink in.
Can't do much about the little boy but, you can always help your daughter strengthen her resolve.
Good luck!
as a kid i was a kissing fool. even younger than eight. if you want your daughter to have a first kiss being special you need to tell her so. let her know how important it is and what you expect of her. you should also know that if you put up these limits she might just go ahead and do what she wants and not tell you. open the lines and let her know what you feel is right for her. good luck.
Just because people had innocent kisses when they were young means nothing today. This boy is probably allowed to watch TV unsupervised as many kids are today. They are exposed to more kissing (and more) on TV than we were at that age. They see this as normal.
Your daughter needs to be told why boys who don't listen to adults are to be avoided. When he said no to your question, he was telling you that he could care less about what anybody else wants and that he was going to do whatever he wanted.
Your daughter needs to know now that as she grows up, she will come across more boys who will say whatever it takes to get a girl to do what he wants. She needs to know that it is up to her to tell him no and how proud you will be of her. Make sure your husband is giving her physical attention (hugging her, telling her how beautiful she is, etc.). Other wise, she will get it from any boy who is offering. She needs to know from a male that she is special.
As she grows up, be sure to tell your daughter that it is not a girl's job to service guys. That is what our girls are learning these days. As a high school teacher, you would not believe the "advertising" going on as girl's think the only way to get a guy's attention is to be sexual in varying degrees.
Times have changed. :(
Ooooooh. Schoolyard kisses. I remember those!
Like Karen, my first was at 5 on the playground, and his name was Jamie (lol... most of the time we just played thundercats). By 3rd grade the parents were watching the boy/girl pairings... so the girls just kissed each other.
They were all very innocent... just another version of pretend. It wasn't until puberty that kissing became serious.
I wouldn't say this is a problem. Innocent kids kiss all the time. She's 8, my first kiss was at 5. It's no big deal. You'll simply drive her to sneak around you for everything if you don't give a little.
