8 Year Old Refuses to Poo in the Toilet

It takes more than 3 sessions to figure out what is going on here.
The parents need to make this a priority in their lives, but not sure who need to tell them this. I assume they do not appreciate your help or suggestions?

What on earth does this young boy do at school?

Does he change his own diaper? Don't the other children and teacher smell the odor? Or is he holding it all day? This also cannot be good.

I would think the parents must have some idea of what is going on or they would not allow this to continue. At this point it is neglect.

Does he have other learning issues or emotional issues? Are the parents reluctant to share this information for some reason?

I have a teacher friend that say they are dealing with some parents right now that are in total denial about their child. His IQ has been tested and it is very clear he is limited in his capacity to care for himself or function in a classroom with children his age. But the parents insist he is just shy and a little slow.

The school is going to have to go down a road that is quite difficult to make it clear this boy will need assistance for the rest of his life.

I agree they are doing great harm to this young boy. He deserves better and a chance to be able to fully function in his society.

See how the holidays go and see if you can offer them any type of assistance. If not and this is still not being address, I would also call Child services and ask them what should or can be done about this.

I am so sorry, yes the child gas some serious issues if this is going on. Some kids grow up scared to poop and link serious connotations to the eating and expelling of food.

Going back to a diaper is quite possibly the worst thing.

He needs a therapist

D.,

I am so sorry you are hurting about this--It must be so hard to watch this behavior and not be able to get through to your kids about their child. It sounds like the parents have given up and aren't in it for the long haul. It is obviously very abnormal to do this and they are enabling their child's behavior/addiction whatever you want to call it. What they are doing is hurting their child further and yes, I would do something about it. Call CPS and tell them what is going with the child. I feel it is neglect and setting the child up to fail with no proper followup or giving up after 3 sessions? It make take 20 for the child to understand whats acceptable and whats not, but either way the parents need to be involved in this process 100 %. What is the child doing when they go to school? Are they wearing a diaper to school? Pooping in their underwear at school? I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish you the best and hopefully your grandchild will get the help he needs.

M

To answer your opening question - Yes it is neglectful by the parents. Unfortunately children don't come with instruction manuals and you can't return them to the manufacturer for fixing. Fortunately however there are a host of opportunites and people trained to help but it may require the intervention of the authorities.to get these parents to help their kid.

I agree with Marda.

It's very difficult being an outsider looking in on someone else's problems, esp when their children are involved.

Obviously there's something wrong with this child if she's wearing a diaper at age 8. Who knows if it's physical, mental or emotional?

If they've tried (to any extent), the child is not talking to a therapist and will not SIT on a toilet what is it that you expect the parents to do? Can you help - by driving, offering to help pay for therapy, etc?

If this child is "a handful" at home, then these parents are likely emotionally drained. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for them too.

I would offer any help I could. I agree, you don't want to see the parents give up. It sounds like they're just exhausted and frustrated.