My daughter just turned 8 mo old and will not sleep in her crib. She had been doing extremely well prior to teething pain. She was sleeping through the night 10-12 hours at a time when she was 4 mo of age, however a few weeks later she started teething and I made the mistake of putting her in bed with me because I was exhausted and needed to get up for work the next morning. Unfortunately her teething subsided at the same time as some GI issues worsened and I found myself putting her in bed with me earlier and earlier in the night to sooth her. Now it is to the point that as soon as I try to put her in her crib in the evening she starts to cry. I have tried letting her cry it out, but I feel too guilty to commit to it. I am away at work all day and I feel she just wants time with me so I have been giving in. Any suggestions on how to transition her to her crib WITHOUT the tears would be greatly appreciated!! She was such a good sleeper before I want to help her be a good sleeper again!
Thank you so much for all the wonderful ideas on how to make the situation better. I tried waiting until she fell asleep completely (i.e., limp) last night before trying to transition her, but it seems she has a sixth sense about the crib vs. the bed! She woke right up rolled over and looked at me with a puzzled look on her face! I will continue trying and use the suggestions provided. Thank you again...it is so comforting to know there is a community of support! D....:)
Hi D.!
I never thought I would be able to let my baby cry it out, but I did it- and we are all sleeping now at night! We did the 3-Day Sleep Solution. I would give Motrin and/or teething tablets before bed and then do some sort of controlled crying or crying it out. Be consistent once you decide and be strong!
I had the same problem with my daughter. She's now 2, but she was an ok sleeper, until the teething started. She just wants to be comforted and soothed...by mommy. I let her sleep in our bed for a little while, and once we'd had enough I'd wait until she was fully asleep, and SLOWLY and QUIETLY took her back to her bed. After that, she'd slept in her crib. The other thing to try is to not take her out of her room. I know that it's hard, but put a rocking chair in there and sing softly to her as you rock her. And you have every right to feel bad and to feel as if she's suckering you into this habbit! I felt the same way. It will get better, I promise...just hang in there.
-C.
Since you have waffled a bit on how you handled this situation, your 8 month old is really working it. My husband and I never really had too much of a problem with this because our kids went to the crib and never came out, but we did have a day or two with it. It is impossible to let them cry it out. I actually let my husband check on our son periodically as we needed to and I went to another part of the house. I trusted him to do the right thing, so this was just something that was not in my nature to handle but I knew it was important. It only took one night and a little bit another night until he new we weren't changing our minds.
As the kids get bigger they will ask the same question over and over if they think they can wear you down. They instinctively know when you are wishy washy. In our house, never threaten (I'll take away your...) when you're frustrated because you have to be prepared to do it.
Work with your husband to get her transitioned back to the crib. I'm just glad I never had this problem with my twins!
Hi D.,
Your baby may just want to spend more time with you since you are away at work during the day. My son did this when I first went back to work too. He started sleeping through the night very early. I went back to work when he was 4 months old and 2 days after I went back to work, he starting waking. Just like you, I was too tired to stay up with him, so I brought him into our bed and he would nurse and I would sleep. I wasn't able to transitition him back to his crib until he was 11-12 months old. Your daughter is still very young and can't understand why she needs to sleep someplace different. I would say keep her in your bed if you don't mind it. If you want to try to transition her, then get Elizabeth Pantleys No Cry Sleep Solution. It is a great book and really helped us.
J.
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Hello there D., I have an 8 mo old dd and the best way we have found for her to fall asleep stress free and sleep through the night, in her crib is if I "wear" her to sleep ;) Meaning that I carry/babywear her till she's sound asleep, usually takes 15 min, and then I move her to her bed and she will sleep for 10 hours or so. She is not spoiled as some would say , and it gives me an amazing oportunity to bond with her.
I would love to help you more , and explain this more, but I"m short on time tonight. Please feel free to message me here, or email me at ____@____.com -
and you can also check out
www.thebabywearer.com
and
the Yahoo group - Centre County Baby Wearer's
Good luck mama , and remember - they grow up so quikly, cherish every moment you have :D
Hello, I'm not sure if there is a way with out tears. If you wait about 15 minutes go in her room let her know you are still there and tell her good night. It's just a matter of time she will return to her patterns. We all need a good night sleep to function so try to stick to your guns go to another area so you might not hear her for a little while. You will be proud that you stuck to your guns. Good Luck I'm the mother of a 4 year old girl, 18 month boy, and litlle one on the way so I know things are tough I worked until my daughter was 3 it's a tough balance but they need stucture and a routine.
Is your child awake or asleep when you put her in the crib ?
I used to put mine in bed asleep. I like music, so I used to play music and sing aong, holding them until they fell asleep, and sometimes I would hold them by the crib, and bounce and sing songs I loved, until they fell asleep.
Funny moment: I was singing our youngest to sleep one night, and stopped, because i thought she was zonked out, only to hear a voice coming from the next bedroom (our 2nd oldest), "Keep singing, Mommy."
It doesn't really matter what you sing, or perhaps you talk and tell a story if singing isn't your thing, but to have them feel safe and comfortable and hear your voice as they drone off to sleep. Then you can put them in the crib and they have no clue where they are. :-) (My sister used to pick up an arm and watch how quickly it dropped to be sure they were totally "zonked")
If she wakes during the night? Well, you have to choose -- how valuable your bed is to you and how valuable your sleep is? I always opted for kid in the bed and both of us sleeping. And, yes, once a year or so, I end up with a panicked teen in bed with my husband and me, but if the dream was THAT horrible, I wouldn't want them anywhere else. I want them to feel safe, and that their parents are people they can run to when they need to feel safe.
When your baby is older and in a twin bed, you can join her in her bed until she falls back asleep -- that way, you can get back into your own, and that eases the path to them sleeping in their own beds all ( or, in our case, almost) the time. Our youngest girls are just under 2 years apart, and they will from time to time sleep in each others' bed together, for fun, and soemtimes because one of them had a scary thought at bedtime. That doesn't bother me either, as they are both good kids, and it's much nicer to have them sleep with each other than to have one of them crowd us out of our bed !! :-)
Hi. Im sorry you are going through this. Did you try putting her in the crib and then laying on the floor next to her? Maybe its a comfort thing with you being near her? Maybe she will cry intially but maybe her seeing you still in the room will sooth her? I dont know, worth a try. I know I still do this with my 20 month old once in a while when she wont go to sleep. And it works for me. She doesnt get used to it either, she only needs me to do it once in a while. Good luck!!!
K.
D.,
I like the idea of staying in the room, lights out and don't talk! It just might work. I used to CRAWL out of my son's room on my hands & knees after he fell asleep. BUT it may lead to a situation where she won't sleep at all unless you're there. If you want to try a modified cry-it-out--go in after 10 minutes and soothe her. Say "time to sleep, you'er fine" and repeat every 10-15 minutes. Dpn't pick her up. It will take 3-4 mights but it WILL work and the payoff will be easier bedtimes. As for the "time with you" thing--I would suggest spending as much good quality time with her in the evening as you can. Be present in the moment and enjoy her. Don't beat yourself up over this and please don't feel guilty. After all, you want what's best for her--not what may make you fell better in the moment. In the long run you will be rewarded! Hang in there and good luck!
Hi, no unfortunatley no way can do it without the tears. It might take a while as well. The crib needs to be represented as safe, happy sleepy time. But this is every parents delima that decides to put their child in their bed. Thank God, I never did it. I basically demanded they love their crib right from the jump. Hehehe.. :)
I had the same problems with my son. I tried the cry it out method a few times over the course of a few months, read books about getting them to sleep, anything I could think of! Eventually one night after being up with him and having him in bed with me I had had enough! It was 4:30 am (I had to get up to work at 5:30) and I just put him in his crib to cry it out - it took about 1/2 hour and then he fell alseep. So everynight after that when he would cry, I'd go to him, tell him it was night-night time, pat his back and leave. He would cry, but each night it got less and less and in about a week he was sleeping through the night! Good Luck to you - I know it's very rough especially when you have to get up for work the next day!
I am a mother of 3 (9, 12, and 8 months), work full time and a part time job, so I can totally understand the tired thing. You have to do whatever it takes to get your baby back in the crib. She is learning her sleeping habits, and if you don't get her back in the crib soon, you will be like my sister-in-law who has a 7 year old sleeping with her every night.
I suggest you turn the lights off, the tv down low, give her a bottle, and let her fall asleep in your arms (or rock her). Once she is asleep, put her in her crib. If she wakes up, try and let her cry. If she takes a pacifier, give it to her when she is in her crib. Once you get her used to putting her in the crib asleep, try doing it when she is half asleep, and then eventually when she is awake.
I have always turned the lights off, tv low, and no stimulation at night before bed. That way they know bedtime is near and they can wind down. Even when they woke up in the middle of the night, I never talked, or stimulated them at all. I also run an air cleaner in her room to make white noise. It is soothing to them.
Hope this helps, and that you get a little sleep. Remember, be patient because it may take a couple days/weeks to get her back into a routine of the crib. :)
