8 Month Old Will Not Nurse During the Day - Only at Night

Dear L.,

My question is how large are these meals and have you tried nursing before his meals or at least spacing them out? When he first wakes instead of giving him breakfast right away have you tried nursing him first? I would hold off on the meals until he nurses first. Maybe you are trying when his little belly is full and that's were his disinterest comes in. His night time schedule is that of a newborn baby, I don't know how you are functioning for eight months waking up every three hours. I know you said you tried the cry it out method however I am sure in the back of your mind you were thinking he was hungry and fed him. The only way to do the cry it out method successfully in my opinion is you have to be emotionally ready to do it. Once you start it you cannot give in or you have to start all over again. Its like any parenting strategy consistency is the name of the game. My daughter suffered from ear infections so I did not know what sleep was for her first year of life. Once she had the tubes put in her ears and I knew she was pain free, not hungry, not wet, out of sheer desperation and sleep deprivation I did it. It was hard but by the fourth night I had a sleeping baby. Until you can get him to drink more during the day and change around his schedule I would not try the cry it out method. Maybe his meals need to be smaller so he will be hungrier to nurse. If he still shows no interest in nursing then I would say he is not hungry nursing at night is just habit and its up to you and your husband how you handle it. Crying it out is not for every family it is an individual decision, however I am a big believer in it I know it worked for my kids. Good luck I hope you get some sleep soon.

Hate to say this, but you're going to have to let him go hungry at night! He's on a screwy schedule, and it's not helped at all by the fact that he's so big and strong! He's having a blast all day, and doesn't want to slow down to nurse! This is such an exciting time to be a baby, and he is hitting (or close to hitting) all sorts of major milestones.

So we mamas have to lend a hand, even when it's so hard for us. I would let him cry at night for a few nights. If you have to soothe him, do it without food. Though I expect soothing him will make it even worse, because he'll just be outraged that you're not feeding him! Maybe cut out one feeding at a time, and continue that pattern every few nights until he's not nursing at all after he goes down. As he gets hungrier during the day, I really think he'll switch it around for you.

But I don't envy you- because I think it'll be a tough few weeks!

then stop nursing during the day...obviously the baby doesn't want to...sometimes we need to listen to the little ones...they really know what they want.

Try nursing him before you give him a meal and maybe slightly reducing the amount of solids you give him. He is still at an age where milk should be his primary source of calories.

As for the nighttime, this is tricky! Nursing is part of his comfort routine and he is likely not ready to give that up yet. You could try to not feed him with each waking and maybe picking him up and soothing him back to sleep without nursing every time or maybe your partner could try. Adjusting the day feeds might help but might not. My 2 younger kids were still waking at 8 months but did not really need to nurse each time. For my middle child the solution was to let him sleep with us but for my youngest, she just needed a cuddle and quick rock and went back to sleep.

Remember that every baby is different. May take a while to determine exactly what will work for your little sweetheart.

please do not let him cry, from what you describe, he definately is hungry at those time. at his age, he NEEDS to have the correct amount of breastmilk. dehydration and not thriving are major concerns.

now the thing that is popping into my head, is considering his size, what is he eating in the day? my guess is somewhere he got mixed up and may prefer solids, but of course is hungry since he didnt eat(meaning nurse) enough during the day. but then at night, he is sleepy so nursing is fine.

the only suggestion i have is instead of not nursing him at night, dont feed him in the day. keep offering to nurse him. first thing in the morning, before anything else. the ideal situtation would be for you to nurse him, then feed him his meal. but again, make sure you arent feeding him too much. i only fed my first daughter 1 jar in the morning with cereal, then 2 jars at night. she had a snack of some sort in the day, but no lunch at that time. i didnt start solids at all till 6 months.

another thing i wonder is if you have mixed up your supply. he may now know the flow isnt as strong if your body stops making milk as much in the day.

whatever you do, dont stop nursing and make him get the fluids. remember, breastmilk is wonderful. he could sustain just fine on breastmilk alone. that is more important than the food. before a year old, breastmilk should be his meal with solids complementing it, not replacing it. it is very important for him to get the nutrients so dont give up. hope it all works out for you.

L.,

My son would nurse very little during the day - and it would affect my supply at night - right around that age too. I was told I was feeding him too much, and that he needed to nurse before each meal, and when he was thirsty.

I would nurse him, even if it wound up being a total of three minutes for both sides - they do get more at that age than you think they do - and he came back a bit. I also nurse him to sleep, so he gets nursed before nap, too. That helps his intake.

Nurse him before his meals if you would like to increase how much you are nursing him.

The other plan is to go with what you have - at least he is nursing.

Another item that might work for you, if he is not taking a bottle (but if you're going to use breastmilk, you may wish to think twice about this one) is to use a Nuby sippy nipple instead of a bottle nipple. The unfortunate part is they can figure out how to make the nipple open and spill the contents everywhere, so you'd have to really pay attention to him while he has it or it'll be everywhere. I use them for water, only bc he is constipated if I don't.

Good luck!
M.