Thank you for the responses so far! To answer the questions - yes, he is on solids - he eats babyfood w/oatmeal 3x/day, but it doesn't seem to be helping with the sleep. Also, if I pull him into bed with me when he starts to fuss/cry, he will go back to sleep and sleep soundly!
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I am looking for some advice on what to do about my almost 8 month old who is not yet sleeping through the night. I have been trying various "sleep training" strategies but am not sure what to do at this point and feeling exhausted because of them! I am still nursing him on average 1x/night - after which he goes right back to sleep. Last week for about 7 or 8 days, I tried to extinguish the middle of the night feeding as it seems like he should be able to sleep through the night now (his older brother who was a difficult sleeper in the beginning too finally slept 7-7 at 7 months but my younger son is developmentally later than his bro on most things - e.g. teeth, sitting, etc.) and here's what would happen: he goes to bed at 7 and would wake around 1:30 - I wouldn't feed him but would hold him and try to soothe him after letting him fuss and cry a bit - after about an hour and a half he would fall back asleep until about 4:30 or 5 am at which point I fed him and then he fell back asleep. After a week of this waking at night for 1 1/2 hours, I am exhausted! So then I thought maybe I should just feed him as I suspect he will go right back to sleep. So last night, he woke at 12:30 and I fed him, but then he was up again at 4 am and that just seems too early for the next feeding during the night, so I tried letting him cry it out because he didn't seem to be doing his "i'm hungry" cry at first. In any case, he cried and screamed for 1 1/2 hours (during which I get no sleep either b/c our house is quite small and sound carries even with white noise machines etc.)and finally fell asleep until 6:40. anyway, now I am not sure what to do tonight - I am exhausted and would like to get some sleep! So do I continue to try the CIO method during the middle of the night (I should also say he goes down to sleep and for naps with no problem) and hope that it doesn't last as long or do I just feed him and accept that maybe he is not yet ready to sleep through the night and try again later??? Any thoughts/suggestions would be much appreciated. Thanks for listening!
Thank you everyone who responded - I really appeciate the input and the advice! At this point, I just think he may not be ready to give up the night time feedings as I think he is genuinely hungry - he nurses and goes right back to bed. He is kind of a big guy and I have learned that I just need to trust my instincts about him and stop reading all the books! :) for example, he had trouble sleeping in his crib for a long time (was in the pack n play until just a week ago) but then I tried again last week and lo and behold, no problems - he just hadn't been ready before that, so I will just be patient and give him a little more time to reach the sleeping through the night milestone as I do believe he will get there - soon and on his own terms. Thank you again for taking the time to respond/share your experience - I really appreciate all the different perspectives! Hope you are all getting some sleep too!
I think you should just feed him when he wakes. He is much too young to think that he'll be sleeping thru without it 100% of the time. Maybe half the time, or 75% of the time, or maybe a good week then a bad week. That's more realistic.
I would not do CIO in the MIDDLE of the night...the baby will get so worked up and then form a negative association with his crib (then good luck getting him back to sleep at all)!
Are you a first time Mom? The reason why I ask is that perhaps you haven't experienced other babies and their sleep habits. My first two babies didn't sleep through the night until my son was TWO and my dd was 18 months. I nursed, too. Now, my 7 month old dd has been sleeping through the night since he was a month old, and I have been doing the same things with all my kids. So I guess what I am trying to say is it may just be your baby isn't ready yet.
GREAT job on still nursing, by the way!!!
I had almost the exact situation, and we chose not to use CIO. So I kept feeding her in the middle of the night figuring she was just not ready yet. At 10 months, it was like a light switch flipped and she slept 9 hrs in a row, then 11, then 12. Now (11 mo) she is having trouble again, I think because of a cold, but she is a way better sleeper. I think sleeping through the night is a develpmental thing and babies just get there on their own. You can use CIO to push them into it, or you can try the suggestions in the No Cry Sleep Solution to help encourage it, but for us, it just took time.
My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was almost a year old. At 8 months she was still waking up to nurse 1-2 times/night and actually ate (so I do actually think she was hungry). It wasn't until 10 or 11 months that I started feeling like the night-time nursings were simply for comfort rather than food and that's when I stopped nursing her at night. If the night-time nursing seems to do it for him, I'd keep it up- you'll probably actually get more sleep that way than by letting him cry and fuss. If you want to wean the night-time feedings, try going in and just sitting in the rocking chair with him. I still do this with my 20 month old if she wakes up crying at night. If he gets more upset seeing you without nursing, try having someone else go in and comfort him during the night (if this is a possibility in your household). Even once my daughter started sleeping through the night, she still would sometimes wake up at night and would be up for 2 hours before falling back to sleep. It's tough, but hang in there! Sleep issues are the WORST in my mind- my daughter has struggled with sleep from day one and there are times when I'm so exhausted from being up half the night that I just don't know what to do. Another thought- could he be teething or be sick? My daughter tends to wake up a lot more often when teething. Try some Motrin before bed or when he wakes if you think that's the cause of it.
My understanding is that the official "sleeping through the night" definition is 5-6 hours in a row. It sounds like you son is doing that (7-1:30). I don't think you should expect more at 8 months. I realize your 1st slept more, but I think your 2nd child is more typical. What you may want to work on is a later bedtime, so you get your longer strech of sleep between midnight and 6am, instead of 7pm and 1am.
In the meantime, for at least 1 night, can you go to sleep when your baby does at 7pm, so you can get some sleep?
I am in the same boat, friend! My 8 almost 9mo old still wakes b/w 11 and 12:30 and again at 4ish. Today, he was up for the day @ 4:30. I let him hang out until 5 and knew he wasn't going back down. In our case, I think my son's little brain is working overtime learning to crawl. Any developmental milestone they work on will most likely mess w/their sleep-at least in my experience. I can't really recommend anything as I couldn't really stomach the crying it out with my first. She didn't sleep through consistently until 2yo. But, I do not think this is unusual. Weissbluth even talks about this being pretty normal at this age. If you can't take the CIO, I might suggest doing what is necessary for you to get some sleep. They will all be 16 at some point never wanting to get out of bed! Hang in there and do what your mommy gut tells you!
Since I wasn't a fan of the CIO method, I just went with the sleep deprivation. He would sleep through the night at 7 months going to bed at 11pm, waking at 6am until we got his shots then that would be disruptive for about a month. Get back on track for about a month. So haviing said that he didn't really sleep through the night until he was a year old. Maybe co-sleeping for now would give you some sleep. Good luck and hang in there. This stage will pass soon.
Also this is probably a growth spurt. My son went through them all the time until he was 12 mos old then they stopped. He would eat every hr and a half for awhile. Also, some nurses told me that the Gerber baby food burnt off easier due to the carbs, I think it was.
You don't say if you've started solid foods with him, I do remember that making quite a difference with a baby who is so hungry. Our pediatrician had me skip baby food entirely and start feeding them regular food (properly cut up for little mouths, of course) at five months. Just a thought. You need your sleep!
All babies are different...even in the same family. My 2 oldest didn't sleep straight thru until they were well over a year old. My now 9 month old sleeps from about 7:30 until 4ish, eats and then goes back to sleep until 6:30 or so.
I wish as mothers we would be more secure in what is right for our babies and not always go by what the experts say. All of those baby books should be thrown out the window. Yes they are good for guidelines but babies develop at their own pace. My first born was a preemie so I never got hung up on what he should be doing when. I just followed his lead.
If he wakes up and you think he is hungry, then feed him. The night waking won't last forever. I swear!
I am a big fan of the Ferber book, Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems. At 8 months, your baby does not need night time feedings. Period. If you continue with them, it trains his body to continue waking for them. There is a "going in to soothe" schedule in the book that works like a charm. The longest my sons ever cried was 40 minutes, and this only happened the first night. The second is much quicker, they do learn to soothe themselves. I disagree with the mom who says to do this at 2. It is MUCH harder to do with a two year old. You can teach good sleep soothing habits as early as 5 months and trust me it is MUCH easier to nip it now! I suggest Mack's earplugs or closing your door to make the crying a little less upsetting. This is hard, but if you stick to it, it isn't hard for long! Hang in there and feel free to email me with anything. I had sleep issues with both of my boys and I am a DIE HARD Ferber fan!
Another one of the 'no advice' to give but sympathy! My 8 month old goes to bed around 7pm and usually wakes up 1-2x to eat. I usually try to feed him and put him back into his bed the first time but if he wakes again, I'll put him in bed with me, nurse him while laying down and we both fall back asleep.
I do not think that there is anything wrong with your son. I think breastfed babies sometimes need/want more nurturing/cuddling in the middle of the night. Some kids aren't great sleepers no matter if they have the boob or formula. Also at his age, crawling and teething are big factors so that may be causing him to wake up.
My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was almost 2.5 years old. And she now still wakes up and gets in bed with us almost every night! I'll take that over her waking up and crying every night.
I am not a fan of CIO until they are older (such as 2) because I know by then, they can tell me if something is wrong or they just wanted to be rocked. Before that age, all they can do is cry so I just do what I feel needs to be done and rocks or sleeps with them. Obviously that is not for everyone.
I think your son MAY truly be hungry even after 3-4 hours. Maybe his body metabolizes the milk faster when he's sleeping (that is when he's growing).
I suggest cosleeping and going to bed right when he does! Good luck!
My first slept through the night at 2 months old...this one is 10 months and still isn't sleeping through the night! Every baby is different. Mine has congestion issues at night (seeing an ENT dr now) so until that clears up, i expect we'll not get any nighttime sleep! haha I agree with PP...CIO seems so harsh to me. When he wakes up, I nurse him if he can't settle himself back down...it's mainly for comfort for him and not hunger I've realized. He's also teething too so lots of discomforting things happening all at once.
I'm in the same boat though with him sleeping fine if he's in bed with me...thing is that I can't sleep! 7-1 is a great stretch of sleep, though! Try to get him to go to bed a bit later...he may be more tired and might also sleep longer too.
Some kids are just better sleepers than others even though we want them all to be the same. It's taken us 4 years to really understand that with our two kids.
One of our kids a great sleeper (kid #2 - 2 years old). Her older brother (almost 4) is awful. He has only slept in his own bed a handful of times - we have NO idea why he wakes in the middle of the night, but he falls right back to sleep once in our bed or with one of us next to him.
Neither of our kids slept through the night until closer to 12 months, however.
I don't have any suggestions other than perhaps to either move bedtime back and hour and nurse at 8pm in hopes that carries him through. The other thing that worked for me was nursing on my side so I could sleep while he nursed, and we both got a better nights' sleep with few interruptions.
Good luck.
