7 Year Old Still Wetting the Bed - Detroit,MI

Hi L.,
I too had these problems as a young girl. Perhaps when you take her back to the doctor you should mention that all day active she is fine but when she relaxes or sleeps she has accidents.
This is caused by the center of the brain that controls the kidney muscle to "hold it" relaxes and/or falls asleep too. I had the same thing. There should be something they can give her for it. I took a prescription for about a year and it solved the problem for me.
I hope this helps. Good luck,
E.

Hi L..

We are going through something similar at our house, meaning the night wetting. We have been for years. Now, the difference is, ours isn't "defiant" like yours and if we tell him to go to the bathroom before bed, he goes. It isn't an option because we are the parents and we make the rules.

It is one thing if a child simply isn't developmentally ready to wake in the middle of the night to pee (which is happening to your daughter and my son), but it is yet another if the child is outright refusing to obey (not peeing before bed, not telling you she has to go before leaving, etc). There needs to be some sort of punishment for not obeying, but NOT for wetting the bed when she cannot control it. The two have to be separated.

So, to answer your question, you have to be the parent and MAKE her go to the bathroom before bed and before you leave. If she doesn't, there must be consequences (ie no TV for the day, no playing "x", you decide....). But again, there should never be punishment for TRUE accidents. We have a compliant 7 year old who pees before bed and wakes to pee and we still have wet pull-ups in the mornings. So regarding the night wetting, I would suggest trying the pull-ups again AFTER she pees for the night and also upon a night waking to pee. They shouldn't leak at that stage. Ours never leak. Just remember, they won't wet the bed forever. Their bodies simply need to be ready to wake to pee. Sometimes this takes ten years or more. Be patient regarding the night wetting, but make her obey you when she's awake.

Lots of kids just are not physiologically developed enough to "hold it" all night.

I think you're making a mistake by not using pull ups, limiting her liquids, etc. Better to deal with what you "have" at the moment.

Layer a sheet, a pad, a sheet, a pad, etc so the changes are easy. Go but a few flat sheets at WalMart for $5 each so you don't have to be "chained" to the washer. Get Pull ups again. Figure out the size that works for her.

Make her a nighttime routine chart (shower, brush teeth, pee) and send her off to do it. Don't hover.

YOU are making this into a head game of shame and control and power.
If her bladder is not developed yet--she cannot help it.

Hi! i was a bed wetter, until I was nine, and the most important thing that I remember was my parents response to this issue... Sorry, Mom, but it seems you are making this a real issue that is forcing your child to defy you... And based on your entry, not trying to make you feel offended, but, it seems you might tend to become "over the top," with the issue. SO PLEASE RELAX!! If you continue on this type of frustration sounding method of trying to "reform," her, you are gonna be doing this until much later! Humiliation is NEVER gonna work, so you need to change, right now, or lose your ability to reach your daughter, when other feminine issues get in the picture... Somewhere your daughter and your interactions got messed up, weel bad, and if you do not stop and BREATHE, you are handed to serious trouble. I know that 7 is a longtime to still wet, it frustrating, as a parent and due to social standards, that we feel everyone judges us by... For me, the constant bickering with my Nother was the first nail in our road to being able to taqlk, openly... I soon, learned to hide things from her, some they did not find out until I was a full-grown adult! do you want that relationship? I don't think so! First of all if she wets the bed, if she will not get up to change them , let her sleep on the wet sheets, and if company comes, and she havent changed them, allow peer pressure, amke the move forward for her. Invite a cousin who she likes to assist her, it is good, if they are older, and can understand what she need to do... My cousin was great in getting me to move forward, without Mom breating down my neck, ranting over and over... She is old enough to wash her sheets, clothing; you can teach her how to use the equipment, with simple, PATIENT, guidance that enforces her to independence, with POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT! Your current method are sending NEGATIVE MESSAGES, instead. At & years she is far more capable then you are allowing her to be. At five my daughter could iron, wash, sort, clean, take out trash, and obtain an allowance, since these simple tasks, were her "job," to get money for the things, she wanted... And she had a bout of night wetting, but, I found out BY TALKING TO HER, instead of YELLING, that she had concerns because my schedule had changed, so much she was worried that I didn't love her as much, and was leaving her... We talked, and I reassured her, and we talked about ALL the things that were bothering her (I was on active duty, during a war, my job made me absent more, so I called her more!). I was relieved that in two weeks, she stopped, because I made her "growing up," a game that she could obtain rewards for her short and longterm efforts... We had a reward board made that included what she felt were good and wanted rewards for her doing the positive things, and I worked on my own board of learning how to talk to her more (I had rewards, too), and allowed more independence for her. We set a one month goal, and soon life was grand, we both had a small slightly competitive game of it, and I did allow her to "win," by showing her that though you fail, you do not quit, but, keep trying, until you accomplish your final overall goal... Good long term life skills for her adulthood days. for myself, as a child, the handling by my parents like your way, didn't work! It was my doctor who changed the way, they handled it. I underwent medical testing to see if there were not other issues that might be hindering my ability to urinate properly, such as urine/blood tests; X-Ray and MRI for bladder, cysts, digestive organs; a developmental evaluation for lost or missed milestones; a pyshological evaluation for underlying issues (some kids urinate when they are overly stressed or belittled or bullied); and a Gynecological eval (some young girls have malformations in their genitalia and urological tract.). I hope the prior is not need, but, you need to assess everything. there are major breakthorughs in pediatric urination, since my days! Allow her more freedom,, and stp over-parenting with the telling of what she is NOT doing! Sometimes, in the rush of all the daily requirements to keep our family supported we tend, to focus, more on the negative of what our kids do, when we want a positive response, when we need to do the opposite, with the positives they do, instead! Make up a clothes suitcase that she has to carry with her to the bathrrom, and back to the car, for each change... The items can be picked by her, and become a nightly or weekly event to repack, and place this on the reward chart for completion! For me i used old clothes, so she got a little uncomfortable, because these clothes were the ones, she didn t fit too well, but kept her dry, and clothed... I just noticed yesterday in Toysrus, that there is a "potty training watch, " that gives intervals for the child to manage the time to go to the bathroom, funny thing, when I looked at it, I laughed, but, now, I see why it was shown to me.. LOL!! I think you need to take a step back, and reassess your methods, because there are numerous methods to help you, including reading with her to help her express herself, more directly with you, because based on your input, I think you are losing your child, because she is learning parental defiance, versus coming to you, when she really needs you! Remember that this is only the beginning of what she will need help wit, so I recommend that you revise your methods, it is ok, that our child are not perfect, if the peole in your life has issues and do not assist you in supporting her and you more, than maybe, they need to reassess their own issues, because it seems there are things in her environment that might be causing her to urinate, defy and frustrate you... Maybe a full lifestyle assessment might be in order to reduce frustration for all concern... Sometimes, as a parent, we have to look at our own methods, if we want ourchild to make a certain change for the better... I hope this helps, because for me, it was the inclusion of my own needs and words that made me finally stop urinating, because I was treated more like a person, than a possession of frustration... However, ther is bad news... Now that I am much older now, it seems old habits tend to return. because I find that I have to get to the bathroom, much sooner than my younger bladder could... I guess, I will be ready for DEPENDS, soon... This is one thing my Mother told me in fun, while we were discussing my daughter's bed wetting... "Remember one day, your child will be choicing your diapers, doctors, medications, and nursing homes, so remember that what goes around comes around... So, you better be nice!" LMAO! Good luck!
I read your "what happened,' and I want to strongly recommend that you have your doctor refer your for a developmental evaluation, because i think there is something that is underlying (not to worry you), that might need more intervention. Especially, if this rebellion or lack of effort is affecting other areas in her life, without you helping her.. I think it is best to rule out everything, then find a method to resolve...

I had the same issue with my son who is 9. He will still now every now and then wet the bed. I understand frustration.
With my son the doctor told me that sometimes the bladder doesnt grow with the body and some kids dont get the concept of what the urge to go is. In my sons case he is a heavy sleeper and cant wake up to go. We put a stop to all drinks after 6pm. He didnt go to bed until 8 or 8:30. There are times that he will yell and fight to go to the bathroom, he then starts to lose items that he wants or something that he wants to do until he goes.
As hard as it may be. Try not to get upset. We started making my son clean up his own mess. Do his laundry when he wet the bed or his clothes. If he took care of it himself then he didnt get yelled at for it. It took the stress off of me and it helped him realize what a pain it is.
You are not the only one going thru this! Lots of kids will do it into their early teen. I know you dont want to hear that one!
Invest in alot of sheets, blankets and give rewards when she doesnt wet the bed.
If it does happen to be laziness, start making her go every half hour while she is home. Dont give her anything to drink an hour before you have to travel anywhere and if you can dont leave the house until she goes to the bathroom. It may sound mean and be an inconvenience at times, but she will then realize if she keeps it up she dont get to do what she wants to do. Good Luck!

What happens when she is at school...any issues there? If not, that could be a clue to your puzzle. Maybe an attention-getter at home? The other thing it might be is a low grade bladder infection. If that's the case, she WILL hold it as long as possible because it hurts to go. Did the doc check for that? My oldest daughter had chronic bladder infections from age 4-7...turned out to be our water...long story. She never wet the bed, but always waited until it was an emergency before even trying to get to the bathroom because it hurt and burned to go. We figured it out, only gave her bottled water and she never had another. (we had a well at the time) For your car odor, you might try cleaning it with vinegar and water or the Bissell soap for pet accidents. I hope this helps!

I just read your "so what happened". Since this seems to happen alot while in the car, doesn't happen at school or with friends...maybe she should not be allowed to go to the store with you or anywhere else but school. She is old enough to understand natural and logical consequences.

Time to get tough. Start holding her accountable. If she flat out refuses anything, it's time to start implementing consequences for her disobedience. She's yanking your chain at 7 and if you don't nip her control tactics now, you will find yourself walked all over until she decides moms shouldn't be treated this way.
SO! If she wets the bed, she should be responsible for removing the sheets, washing them, and re-making her bed. If she has issues on the way to the store, it's her job to put together a change of clothes.
She doesn't care? Just wait till her friends find out. Kids can be vicious. Try explaining how embarassing it will be if her friends ever find out.
I'd get some Febreeze and some Urine Gone to help with the stench in the rest of the house, but do not give in. It's her attitude and she should learn now to think of others and take some responsibility. If she doesn't get the idea of HOW to do the wash, fine; she should undress her bed and at LEAST get the sheets to the washer. And after school she can get them out of the dryer and make her own bed. She's getting away with way too much. I would let her clothes dry, AS IS, let her go to school in them. Her friends will avoid her.
Lastly I would get her to a urologist should there be a physical problem. My middle son had issues till he was 12. The problem was his sleep pattern. He would get into very deep sleep and didn't realize his body was releasing the pee. Or he'd get up, half asleep, and at least head to the john, but not make it in time.
He at least didn't give me refusals about going. But it was a long haul. We tried one of those pad monitors that will sound an alarm when it detects moisture. That didn't work either. Age is what helped. Sometimes the bladder grows and develops slower than the child's chronological age. My son seemed 3 years behind in areas of development as opposed to how old he was. Dental, urological, etc. The body just has to catch up.
Good luck

My 7 year old still has issues at night. She doesn't drink much after 7 pm, and goes to the bathroom before bed, but at least half of the time she doesn't get through the night dry. I have tried getting her up before we go to bed, but mostly, she is just too hard to rouse, or I'll get her in to the bathroom and she will refuse to go because she's too sleepy. Some kids just take longer than others to get the night time thing down. We use Goodnights--they are available in s/m (38-65 lbs), and l/xl (60-125 lbs). Here is a link. http://www.amazon.com/Huggies-GoodNites-Underwear-Girls-M... . (I just linked to Amazon because I figured they'd have them.) We get ours from Target or the grocery store. I figure if they are readily available in a size that fits kids up to 125 lbs, there must be lots of kids out there who need them. Don't worry--she'll grow out of it.

She's probably too big for pull-ups, get Goodnights or Underjams.

You have turned this into a fight, and no one is going to win. She's not doing it on purpose. She's fighting you about going potty before bed because you've made it a big deal. Relax. It is perfectly normal to wet the bed up until age 12. That's right, I said age 12. My 9 1/2 yo wets the bed (well not anymore, the alarm is working!) and both the urologist and pedi told me there was nothing wrong with him and it's very common till age 8 and even age 12. He is a deep sleeper, and he has a very active bladder - the combo of those things mean he wets the bed.

Instead of a urologist have the pedi check her for constipation, this is done with an xray. If she is constipated then the intestines push on the bladder desensitizing it so she has a harder time recognizing the urge to go (evidenced by her "waiting till the last minute"), it also takes up more room in the abdominal cavity so there is less room for the bladder which means she has to go more often. If she is constipated they'll have you work to get her regular and see if it helps.

If she's not constipated, or if once she's regular she's still wetting, you can try the bedwetting alarms. However, SHE has to want to do it. You can want it, require it, demand it, etc etc till the cows come home; till she is ready to do it the alarm won't work. My son was never very motivated. Around age 8 I gave up, I knew eventually he would either stop or want to use the alarm. This fall, at 9 1/2, he decided he didn't want to wear goodnights anymore so we got the alarm. Today is day 14 of dry nights! He's been wearing the alarm for 8 weeks, it's been slow going, but it works.

Good luck!

My son is 9 and still wets the bed. He would like to stop but he can't. There are some nights that he dosn't but those night are the ones that he stays us on weekends with his daddy till about 11pm. We will have to go to the bathroom before he goes to bed but he sleeps too heavey to wake up. We have tired to wake him up but most the time he does not budg. But with him it's genetic. Take to your mom and your mother in law and see if any of the kids on either side had issues. My nephew does still some and he's 14 or 15 I think and they have tired everything. It's just not all the time with him. With my son he is very active so we can not cut him off at a certain time. I know some of my friends cut their kids off at 7pm to keep them from wetting. Well him is a power tumble and does not get out of class Mon and Friday till 7 or 7:30 so that is not possible.

I agree with the others though. You need to make her go before she goes to bed and before you leave anywhere. Even if she does not want to. I dont' give my son the option. In my house it's not a democracy it's a monarcky. Or how ever it's spelled. I rule! Or my husband when he is home. but it's usually just me.

Good luck and God Bless!