I am wanting any advice I can get. I have a six year old daughter, seven in July, who will not stop wetting her pants. My husband and I have Sadie (6), Cameron (1) and one on the way. I understand that it may be an attention issue, but it is getting ridiculous. It happens everyday, and we have tried punishing her, but nothing works. I have quit my job to stay at home with the both of them, and we have been paying lots of attention to Sadie. We make special plans just for her. I took her to the doctor and he said that she has no infections, so it is probably a phase. However this has been going on for several months now. I don't know what to do about it, my husband and I are both at our wits end. Has anyone else been through this before, or have any advice? By the way, she has always had a bedwetting problem, but that runs in the family, and the doctor doesn't seem concerned about that either. Help me please.
I appreciate everyone's input and consideration in this matter. I have set up an additional docotrs appointment and I will let you guys know how it goes. Just so I make it clear I want everyone to understand that I have never punished her for the nightime wetting. I have always strongly believed that nighttime wetting is never a child's fault. The daytime thing, she was punished for briefly because I felt it was behavioral. I soon realized that did not work and stopped with any punishments. I am glad to hear from people who have had experience with this, because I have felt very alone in this issue. It's difficult when you have a million people in your daily life trying to give their unobjective opinion (ie in-laws, my mother, friends who think they know it all) It is refreshing to be able to have somewhere to go where people don't judge and are objective about the situation.
I'd consult a doctor that specalizes w/ the bladder (can't think what that is called at the minute), she may not have an infection but some type of other bladder problem that if left alone could get worse. Sorry I'm not much help my kids are 12 and 7
Have you tried ignoring itwhen it happens.Just clean it up with no reaction. Maybe that would work.Good Luck!
I don't know if her doctor has ever tried putting her on Imipramine? It's for eneuresis; the bladder is trying to catch up to the size of the kidneys and sometimes causes accidents.
Does she do it during the day as well as at night? If she does I would start making her wear some of the larger diapers and make her clean herself up and not give it any attention when does wet herself. She will begin to realize that she isn't getting the attention from it and hopefully it will stop. If it keeps on happening I would take her to another doctor to see if maybe she has some bladder problems. I had a friend in high school that had that problem b/c her bladder was very little, the size of a 3 yr olds when she was 17. I hope everything works out and you get it under control. Good luck!!!
Same thing with my daughter. Our pediatrician said "no problem". However, we finally took her to a pediatric urologist, Dr. J. Patrick Murphy at Children's Mercy South, who told us she has chronic kidney infection (though slight and did not show up at pediatrician) due to a condition called kidney reflux. We also found out that she has very little sensation when she has to go. She is 10 now and is on medication, although still has accidents. Bedwetting at night is just something we've learned to live with. Before you decide anything for certain, I would most definitely suggest a visit to a specialist. Good luck!
I'm going to say you should not punish her. This is more likely an attention getting effort and although your attention is negative, they get a charge out of it. See she percieves she's getting the same/equal to/ attention that the baby is still getting and the new baby will have when it arrives. This is not uncommon when there's a new baby in the house.
Here's a website that lists the four goals of misbehavior: http://www.lifematters.com/step.asp
When you know what she's trying to get by you then you're better equipped to handle it.
Most often that class says to offer choices you can (do this) or you can (do this) in an effort to redirect her. But then there's the times when she has to chose between fun or punishment.
However that's not what you should do about this. Take her to the bathroom with out speaking to her at all. turn her back to you strip her of the wet clothes with no talk and no eye contact. Hand her the dry clothes, tell her to "put them on" and walk away with the wet clothes. Be as emotionless as possible.
I did this when my middle boy back slid when I brought the youngest one home and I'm doing it now for the youngest one who still poops in his pants. It really does work.
PLUS you can use the potty training technique of setting a timer and just taking her to the potty every 20 minutes for a couple of days, then asking her if she needs to go every 20 minutes for the next week then increase the intervals. Consider a reward for when she actually uses the potty. Stickers until she fills up the "page" then she gets something new.
Dear A.: I was a bedwetting girl myself. I am a 34 yr. old full-time-working mom of 2 (3 yr. boy and 3 months girl).
I remember I did that because I was afraid at night and did not want to get up to find scary things or people in the dark. It took me until I was about 10 yrs. old to go over it... I know of cases of even older kids. I would recommend to talk to your daughter to find out what is causing it without punishing her. Sometimes punishment does not help, but talking.
B.
A.-
Have you considered consulting a chiropractor? There have been several case studies and numerous adectodal evidence that there is sometimes a biomechanical problem that inhibits the signals from the bladder to the brain to let her know she is full and/or signals back to the bladder & pelvic muscles so she can "hold it" until she gets to the bathroom. This may be worth looking into, especially since this is an ongoing problem.
There is more information at http://www.icpa4kids.org/research/chiropractic/bedwetting...
Good luck!
Yours in health-
Dr. Alyssa
all I can say is that I personally wet the bed until I was 12 and all the "punishment" in the world could not help me. It only harmed me. Please do not punish your daughter for this..it may not be something she can help at all...see a doctor about it or another one if you already have...there are things that can be done medically to help her. It often is not an attention issue but something she can not help at all as it was for me and my sibilings...I personally got to fear bed time because I could not control my bladder and I knew punishment was waiting for me for something I had no control over...terrible for a child...please don't do this to your daughter. It's most likely not something she wants to be happening either!
You should not punisher her. It could very well be a medical problem. If your family has a history of bed wetting then it does show she might have some bladder issues. You wouldn't want to punish her and then find out later she couldn't help it.
I would agree with the rest of the ladies on getting a second opinion. If your unhappy with your doctor's response, a pediatric urologist would probably put your mind at ease with his specialist opinion. Until then, I would keep her in a "Good Nites" when she goes to bed and limit her drinks a couple hours before bedtime. If it goes on during the day, maybe have her use the restroom every hour or sooner if it's really bad...sounds like maybe she has a small bladder. Hope our suggestions help, good luck.
A.,
As a person who had childhood wetting problems I can't say for certain that this is what it is. But I had bedwetting problems until I was almost 11 years old until my mom finally had enough and got a second opinion about my "problem". When she took me to another doctor he told my mom he thought I just had a small bladder or my bladder wasn't growing as fast as the rest of my body. Turns out he was right. Unfortunaly it is still that way but it was something me and my mom both had to adjust to. Once she knew what the problem was I wasn't getting in trouble so I wasn't as "stressed" about it. You don't have to rush her to the doc right away but give it some thought and maybe things will work out. Don't put too much stress on her though you could just be making it worse. Good Luck!
B.
A.,
I agree with those who have advised you to get a second medical opinion. It is very likely that she may have a bladder that is too small for how much she is growing (esp. since there is a family history of bedwetting), or she could possibly have other bladder or kidney problems that are causing incontinence. If a pediatric urologist does not find a problem, then its probably just an attention-getting behavior or stress-related behavior. But I would definitely ask her doctor for a referral to a pediatric urologist, to diagnose or rule out a medical reason for the incontinence. If it is medical, then it is something she cannot control and punishment will only cause further problems. My younger sister had kidney reflux and bladder problems that were diagnosed by a specialist, but not by her pediatrician. Since your daughter "has always has a bedwetting problem", I strongly feel that it is less likely that this is just an attention-getting behavior and is more likely something she cannot control.
Blessings,
T. Walker, R.N.
www.MomRN.com
I would second or third the folks who suggest not punishing and getting another opinion.
My best friend had problems with accidents as a child and to this day (and she is nearly 40) talks about how horrible it was to not be able to control yet get punished for it. (Her parents FWIW also feel bad) It turned out that she had a bladder problme (I don't remember exactly what the issue was)which made it impossible for her to hold an amount of urine in her bladder for any amount of time. She had to have surgery.
Her younger sister also had the same condition --- but avoided all the 'emotional' issues b/c her parents knew what to look out for- and she got surgery sooner.
You might have to find a pediatric uroligist to look into this more seriously.
Hi A.,
Well a couple ideas....
* have you moved (new house, new room anything like this)
* has anything traumatic happened ( a death in the family anything like this)
* I know it may seem silly but has a pet died, had to get rid of one anything like this
* how about stress to going to a new grade in school, having a new teacher ??
*and as silly as it may sound you now staying how instead of working, not seeing her old child care provider or seeing friends she had (or wherever you had her going while at work)
* Or how about being stressed about having another sibling, does she share a room with a sibling already, will she be sharing a room with the new baby ??
And maybe just try having a conversation with her.
My niece had this problem with her oldest daughter at the same age in a matter of months her parents were seperated, she was going to a new school, with new teachers and living with mommy but with grandma and grandpa at the sametime. This is why I'm asking. It lasted for almost a year until she finally became comfortable. And like you said it may very well be attention.
Let me ask this is it stress because she fills it will be more responsibility on her when this new sibling gets here ?? I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong but you know how kids can be, I would talk to her reassure her that this will not impact her in anyway and that the "new baby" is your responsibility and not hers. If this is what she says the problem is ?? Hope that helps W.
I agree with the other posters that said to get another opinion. Sometimes if a patient is really young then some doctors don't feel like that child could really have an infection or a problem so they don't look for one. Studies say that children can bedwet up until 12 yrs of age and being that she's in that timeframe they may not do anything.
I agree with rewarding her when she has no accidents and not making any big deal as to when she does. She probably is putting pressure on herself not to do it and more doesn't help.
Have her go potty frequently, reduce the amount of liquids she drinks before bed, and wake her to potty before you go to bed. It may help.
Good luck
