J.S.
I am having the same problem with my six month old and I found the book the No Cry Sleep Solution to be very helpful.
Good luck to you.
Hello, I am desperate for some advice and will try and keep this as condensed as possible. My 7 month old for the past week and a half has been waking up 3-5 times a night and it making me a very crabby person. I recently switched hours at work and need to be up at 5am which has been challenging with my son waking up so much. I still am nursing and it seems the only thing that puts him back to sleep is if I feed him for a couple of minutes until he passes out. My husband tries to get him back down with both rocking, and a bottle. That works for a short time and then he is up again looking for mom. I have tried "stocking" him up on food before bed, skipping his late nap, putting him to bed later....what else can I do? I thought maybe it was a growth spurt but they usually don't last this long do they? I have tried to let him put himself back to sleep, but I cave in after a couple of minutes of crying. I have tried just rubbing his back, or giving him his nuk, not wanting to pick him up so he can learn to put himself back to sleep. Are there any good suggestions other than letting him cry it out?? I have been working very long hours at work and adding this to the mixture is making me exhausted, I have no patience especially with my 3 year old which is SO not fair. I recognize that I am exhausted and don't know what else to do. I should also mention my 3 year old was sick the previous week for 9 days straight with the flu and diarrhea which happened primarily during the middle of the night :-), so I feel like I haven't had good sleep for about a month. Is my son too dependent on mom to nurse him back to sleep, should I consider stopping? Also during this past week plus he occasionally wakes up very congested, we have had our windows opened the last couple of nights which I thought would help. He does not seem congested during the day at all, so I don't think he is sick. I feel I have something coming on, I have had a sore throat for 2 days, maybe his is sick? Ears? should I bring him in?
I am having the same problem with my six month old and I found the book the No Cry Sleep Solution to be very helpful.
Good luck to you.
I to agree with the ear infection. My son did the same thing when he gets one. If he does not have an ear infection then try letting him cry for more than a couple minutes. I know some dont agree with it, but my son would usually fall back to sleep within 5 to 10 minutes. if it gets to be 10 min and hes still crying i would go in there and rock him. Now he is just over one and it has been a few months since ive had to go get him and it only took a couple of nites of him crying to get to this point. Good luck.
I love Highlands Teething Tabs for when my daughter wakes up in the middle of the night. They are all natural and have chamomile that calms her enough to get back to sleep. These are especially helpful when teething, but also when she can't seem to settle down. I have only found them at Walgreen's on a regular basis, however sometimes you may find them at other places.
My almost 9m0. old was doing the same thing. He had been only getting up once to eat (he's small and taking no other liquids than breastmilk, so I'm ok with 1 feeding at nite) then all of a suuden for almost 2 wks he was up.....a lot! He was teething, and once the tooth broke thru he was fine. I'm preparing for a repeat for the other tooth tho! I felt he too was getting spoiled from mom nursing at nite, so I did make him cry thru the midnite episode and then got up to feed once and console many other times. This too shall pass! Good luck
Wow J. ~ it sounds like you are burning the candle at both ends... a non-sleeping baby just adds to it. You will probably get lots of advice here about giving him formula (there is the belief that babies don't get enough calories with breast milk).
I'd like to err on the side of emotional reasons your son wakes up: he isn't getting enough time with you during the day so night time is his "check in with mommy" time. It sounds sweet, but it is leaving you a wreck.
This is the point when most breast feeding moms either, 1. quit nursing, or 2. bring the baby to bed. Bringing the baby to bed with you will ensure a good night's sleep for both you AND the baby, while allowing you to keep nursing.
YES, you will have to wean him off of both later on... but by then, you will be a mom with good sleep patterns and will be able to handle it.
My advice is bring the baby to bed with you and find the comfort and rest that only comes from having a happy baby who gets the mom time he needs at night. Formula won't give him that - AND it will add lots of corn syrup and filler foods to his diet.
Sounds like you have tried just about everything, it is worth a shot to take him to the dr. especially since there maybe a bug floating around your house. If it isn't his ears the dr. can at least give you a few other suggestions.
I know that my daughter, when she is teething, is a bear at night. During the day you hardly notice she is teething except for some drool, but in the night she can scream--and be up and down. Check those gums to see if he has anything breaking through--usually takes my daughter a week for them to break through.
This happened when our son turned 5 months old...turned out to be ear infection. Good luck :)
We went through something similiar when my daughter was almost 6 months old. At her 6 month check up we told our ped. that she was waking up 3-5 times/night and I would nurse her back to sleep. Our ped told us she was using me as a human pacifier (which was true- sometimes she'd only suck for under a minute and fall asleep) and that she didn't need to be eating 3-5 times a night - she was a healthy weight! So, that night, I put in my earplugs and had my husband deal with it... I still remember waking up the next morning and feeling 'normal' again. It was a rough few nights- luckily she took a paci easily- mostly for my hubby, but I had enough rough nights that I needed to take care of me! Good luck!
Milestones and too little sleep can also cause night waking. You said you've tried limiting naps and putting him down later, have you tried the opposite? I know it sounds crazy but the more sleep little ones get the better they sleep. Also, is he working on anything new? Sitting, crawling, table food, babbling? All that work on milestones during the day can really affect sleep at night.
First of all, you are working long hours at work and I believe you would do well to take some time off so you can get your kids back in the swing of things. I don't think you need to ask yourself whether your 7 month-old is too dependent on you, because at that age, he is supposed to be dependent on you. I think it sounds like he is entering his separation anxiety phase a bit earlier than others. Have you tried cosleeping? It is good for babies. Perhaps his older brother's 9-day illness got your 7 month-old's nights and days mixed up somehow. Please continue to respond to his cries for you because if you continue to foster a secure nighttime experience for him, you will both eventually get a full night's sleep each night for you will have taught him that home at night is a safe place to be for sleeping. If he wants to nurse back to sleep, it really is a good and loving thing for you to let him do. At his age, a 'need' and a 'want' are one in the same. Good luck. I know you are tired and you just want more sleep than you're getting, but these days will someday be over and I am hoping you will be glad you toughed it out and responded to your baby when he needed/wanted you. To answer your last question, I do also think you should get him checked for an ear infection or strep throat or whatever.
www.askdrsears.com is a fantastic resource for moms to follow their instincts. :D
this is normal for babies, and it is also healthy! your baby has a healthy, and important connection to you and that is a very good thing.
you could bring him in if thats what your instincts are telling you... but it doesnt sound like anything serious. just keep yourself very in tune to your baby's needs. thats important, and it seems you have a real good connection now, dont lose that! and dont let baby cry it out - it lets baby think that you just wont respond, and yes, eventually baby will stop crying... but at what cost right? so i encourage you to keep following your instincts.
my son would take no substitutes than mom and breastfeeding until he was between 16-17 months old or so.... it was exhausting to sleep with him every night... but its so rewarding to know that he has healthy sleep habits, now he can just be laid down in bed and he goes right to sleep. its fantastic to know that my responding to his needs led him to be so comfortable with sleep! :D
so im going to tell you that its ok to sleep with him and nurse him at night, its exhausting, but its fine it wont hurt anyone, in fact it does the opposite, it will help your relationship grow! :D and it does eventually end. :D
A few thoughts on this. One, have you tried putting him to bed earlier? It sounds crazy but always worked for us. Sleep begets sleep, and when our boys are more rested they sleep better. I also found that if my babies could sleep one little nap (15-20 minutes) close to me during the day (evening if you are working) in a sling, baby bjorn, or on my lap, they slept better at night. I think they needed to get some cuddle time. Also, the pollen count has been extremely high lately. Babies don't actually get allergies, but they can get congested from all the particulate in the air. You might try closing the windows and using a/c or a fan. Even in the summer, if we use a fan we put a humidifier on low and this seems to help our stuffy-nosed boys. Also, have you noticed any teeth budding? Tried tylenol? Last, I really like the books by Harvey Karp. Good luck!
I dad the same problem with the daughter. she was nursing at seven months and still not sleeping through the night. i would try shutting the windows, maybe it's to cold for him, try some soft music to put him to sleep. put baby vicks on his chest, back, neck, and bottom of his feet with socks before bed. try putting saline drops for babies in his nose. if you really want to nurse keep it up, try not to quit it will keep his immune system stronger. you said you don't have patience but when he wakes up and just cries don't get up you have trained him that when he cries for a little while that you will be in shortly to comfort him. if he's falling asleep after nursing for a couple minutes he doesn't seem to be hungry just wants the closeness of mom. good luck hope that helps, maybe call the doctor to see about the conjestion.
Wow! You have a lot on your plate! Props to you! After working for a Midwife for a couple of years I feel like I've heard/seen it all. What I can hear her (the Midwife) saying now is if anything is irritating him it's his ears, which can be treated with ear oil. Any health food store has them and could tell you how to use them. He could be fighting something (the bug in the house) so he actually may need more nursing---GOOD antibodies there. Also, since you are stressed, he is stressed. What relaxes you? I would find 15 minutes a day to do this very thing...babies are very intuitive. Also, don't worry about feeding him too often. I know it's exhausting but it could be the VERY thing he needs right now. Have you considered co-sleeping? It's the only way I would ever go in this situation b/c it illiminates the walking back and forth down the hallway. And if he needs extra mom time (for now) he'll get it...then you can wean him slowly back to sleeping on his own.
I will say, adding work-and being back so early, could be the biggest factor in all of this. Babies/children sense change and some are just much more high needs than others. He could be upset that you are deviding your time like you are...it's all very complex.
Peace to you!
E.
HI J.,
Take him in! It sounds like an ear infection to me. Often the fluid in the middle ear puts more pressure on the ear drum at night cauing pain. My kids have had ear infections without fevers many times and if he has been congested at all he could have fluid in the middle ear. I have MUCh empathy for you with lack of sleep and all! Trust me, your beautiful baby will sleep soon and a night or 2 of good sleep for you will make a world of difference. Those ear infections can be sneaky but don't hesitate to take him in. If it is not an infection at least you will know but my mommy instinct is saying it very well could be. Good luck and remember you are great mom! Your boys are lucky to have you!
A little about me:
Married mom of 4 (7,9,11,13)
Wow, J., it sounds like it's been a busy month with illness, work and two little ones. AA couple ideas come to mind after reading your post. First, when my little ones wake often during hte night for more than one or two nights, I often f ind that a dose of tylenol or motrin before bed or in the night can make a real difference and can break the cycle. Maybe it's teeth. At nighttime I get stuffed up from the windows being open. For me, a short blast of running the air conditioning after the windows have been open helps to clear the air. Third, maybe your little one is expressing his notice of your longer work hours and diverted attention due to your other child's illness. Is there any way to lighten the work load to allow yourself more rest and time with your little one? They are young so short.I've found that tucking my little one in bed with me allows more time for cuddling and nursing while still getting some sleep.This can be especially helpfun with a busy schedule. Good luck!
My mom works for an allergy clinic and they advise you do not sleep with your windows open at night. I guess it can make allergies really bad. Which I think is the sore throat and his congestion. As for the sleeping there are a lot of variables there. I would get a good sleep book. It has helped us a ton with our 4 month old and 2 1/2 year old. We use Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. It is a gentle no cry solution. I know there are a couple other good ones out there. But I would give that a try.
I have been in that desperate spot and even though it is miserable, it will pass! Hang on!
Consider these possibilities: Could be an ear infection, especially since there's been some illness in the house.
Could also be new teeth coming in.
Finally, I've always noticed that my kids seem to need me more when there's been a change to the routine/schedule/life; is it possible your baby is responding to the recent change in your work schedule? And the stress we all have with starting something new?
I would not stop nursing,as the benefits of nursing are so much bigger than this snapshot in your babe's life.
One thing that helped us get through the sleepless nights was to take turns. One night I was "on" and the other night my husband was "on" while I slept. Sometimes that means the sleeper goes somewhere else so as not to hear what you are missing (and let the guilt slip in). Your son will prefer you, but sometimes Mom isn't available and dads do a great job too.
My son was about 9 months old when he would only go back to sleep while nursing. So, I tried to break the association of nursing with sleep. I didn't stop nursing, I just changed when we nursed. We would have our same bedtime routine, but he nursed first and as he got sleepy, I would "un-latch" him and put him on my shoulder to fall asleep. At first he fussed, but I could distract him with songs, bouncing, rocking, patting the back, etc., plus he was really sleepy, so that was the biggest distraction. The key is to not let him fall asleep at the breast.
Good luck, and remember, this too shall pass!
M., mom to two darling kids, 5 and 2
My advice is to let him cry it out for longer. When we were training our now 9 month old to sleep through the night at 4 months, we would let him cry for 30-45 minutes at a time. It's hard, but it's so worth it when they are sleeping 12 hours straight at 4 1/2 months old. And skipping the late afternoon nap may not be the best thing because for babies the more sleep they get, the more sleep they want if that makes sense. Basically sleeping encourages more and better sleep. so skipping a nap may make him too tired and then he's not sleeping well at night. I only have one son (9 months old) so this is just from my experience with him and through some books I've read. I hope you begin to get more sleep!
I would say he is making up for lost time. Especially if you are working long hours. I am a stay at home mom and when I leave my daughter wants to be right next to me when I get back. She also does the whole I am going to wake u every hour or so to feed. I have not had more then 3 hours of solid sleep for 4 months...I feel your pain. I would not think too much of it. Just find a way to keep yourself comfortable as well as your baby. Maybe this website can help you.
Is he teething? I know when my son is teething he does the same thing, he's up at least an extra 3-4 x's a night. After the tooth pops in he's back to only waking up once a night. We are going through the same thing right now in our house. I know how you feel with little sleep because i'm the same way right now. Good luck with everything.
Hi, J.! Hope you've had a little bit of relief since you submitted this. . . I recently had twins and I can relate to being sleep-deprived! When I was nursing, I really had to watch what I ate and drank. My oldest son would not sleep at night because I drank tea. My youngest son would be up because I drank dark cola and it made him really gassy. One of my daughters would be up because I had too much spicy food. Maybe this is the problem. Another drink that caused problems was coffee. I love coffee, but I gave up a lot of faves because I was nursing. Keep us posted on what works!
Maybe he has an ear infection? my son woke up a lot and did not like to lay down when he had them. He might be hungry too. I would nurse as long as you can, the benefits are so many and the close bond you share is a special one.
My son is 7 month too and he's going throuhg the same thing for the past couple of night. I talked to his pediatrician and he thinks it could be teething. Maybe try baby orajel or motrin before bed and teething rings. Also we went through this before and someone suggested night time baby bath lavender. That works sometime or it could be a ear infection. But if your sick your baby could be sick too. I'd call his pediatrician and ask to talk to a nurse and just tell her whats going on and they can always direct you hopefully to something or ask the doctor. It wouldn't hurt. Good luck
I wouldnt stop nursing. Have u thought about teething? My 7m old is waking up after we put him to bed crying. He has a runny nose and is congested also. I think it is either allergies or teething. He was confirmed by the doc that he has swollen gums (teething). I know this is an exhausting time believe me i know. I would try and give him some tylenol or teething tablets. That might help. Also start sleep training on the weekend. I know that I am going to start it this weekend with a long one for Labor day. I feel bad that he is fussing at 11pm but i get up with him in the week and the weekend hubby does. U could try giving him a bottle in the night when he wakes up, that teaches them that it isnt worth it to wake up. I hope this helps.
I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed lately. There has been a lot of good advice given to you so far- so I will just reiterate a few. I would totally take him in to get his ears checked. Ear infections are tricky. Keep nursing him if you can/want. There's no reason to stop that unless you are ready. I would also agree on giving him more sleep, not less. my son functions 100% better when he gets a good long nap and goes to bed earlier. Oh, and closing the windows is probably good, too. We have had scratchy throats here since we opened them up too.
Please take care of yourself and try to relax. things will work out.
Hi J.
In my opion your son is missing you because you are working long hours. My advice is to keep him on his normal routine and spend has much time as you can playing with and cuddling him well he is awake. So maybe he will not feel the need for your attention at 3 in the morning Good Luck T.
It sounds like maybe you should take him in first to rule out the ear infection possibility. But then to address getting him to sleep through the night i really think you just need to bite the bullet and let him cry it out. There is a great book by Dr. Ferber that we used when our daughter was 4 months old. It worked great and really only takes a couple of nights of sticking to the plan and before you know it i bet he'll be sleeping great!