6Th Grade and Getting on Track

You need to wait until AFTER you meet with the teacher, to find out what's really going on.
There have been times when one of my kids was turning in some of their work, but not all of it like I THOUGHT they were (not completing reading logs was a big issue here, as was not always turning in ongoing project reports on time.)
So meet with the teacher, find out exactly what is missing, and go from there.
Is having your daughter at the conference an option? That may be helpful as well, because it puts all three of you on the same page as far as goals and expectations go, and it eliminates any "my daughter said this, her teacher said that" thinking and speculation.

I've been in your shoes ... Here is how I talk to the teachers at school when I feel like you do. First of all, you're right, you don't want to go in there guns blazing, it's just going to put them in a defensive place. Take a breath, and say Ms. So-and-so, I see DD is struggling and here is what I've tried in order to help her. Then let her know what you've done (which by the way is way more than a lot of parents would have done). In the past few weeks, she has done x amount of work per night and x amount on the weekends so I'm not understanding how the work still isn't up to standard. What else can WE (see - you and the teacher are a TEAM working together to help your daughter) do to bring her work up to the expected level?

Don't make the teacher think that you're attacking or blaming anyone. If the teacher knows that you just want to work with her for what's best for your daughter she most likely will put whatever needs to be done to help her succeed.

If she doesn't, then you most likely will have to unleash the inner b*t*h. I've had to do that too.

As a teacher you would be surprised how often when I go down a list of missing assignments for my kids they DO have them done, but they are still in their backpacks, etc. OR how many papers I get turned in with no names on them.

Maybe you could do something quick and easy like have your daughter write down what she completed then have the teacher initial that it got turned in. Nothing elaborate. But just a check off for you, your daughter, and the teacher to keep track of things.

Having been through the 6th grade with a day-dreaming boy, who also struggled to get assignments turned in, even if the work was done on time....

I would suggest to you that there is some miscommunications somewhere along the line. I currently have a 6th grader (daughter this time around) and she, too, has a few issues at school, having never had any sort of issue before. Her issue? Things like "we can't check out books in the library before school." Umm. oookaaaay... what? Why not? "We have to have our scan card to check out books." Well where is the scan card? Homeroom teacher and Lit. teacher has them. But the kids aren't allowed in the halls or classrooms before 7:45 or so, and then they don't have time to go to the library and check out a book. :/
She had a late book (the day to turn it in during her Lit class, I picked her up early and she missed "her" library turn/time). She couldn't go pay the fine because "I can't go to the library with my scan card except during Lit. class, and I don't get another turn until next week." She turned the book in when they sent the book return cart around, but she still has an outstanding fine.

Or this: " I want to try the school lunch." Okay, I'll give you a check to take so you will have $ on your lunch account for whatever day you want to try it. "They told us not to bring money at lunch, b/c it slows down the line." Um... what? "You have to set up the online payment so you deposit it into our account that way."... Hmmm.. I don't think I do.

But you see, the way they present some of this information to the kids, makes it seem like they are breaking rules to do things that are perfectly legitimate.

So I would suggest that the teacher has some methodology of collecting assignments that your daughter is not "getting". My son was like that. There would be a place they were supposed to turn something in, and he would miss that instruction, and if the teacher did not specifically ask for that particular assignment, then "she never asked for it", and it was still in his backpack or folder.

Go into the meeting with the attitude that something isn't working and WE need to figure out what it is so daughter can do what she is supposed to for the proper credit. Here is what we have been doing, she is not getting credit, where are we going wrong?

If the Teachers are not getting all her work turned in, even if your daughter said she turned it in... then somewhere along the line, not all work is getting turned in?
Then, is all of her homework, getting signed-off on, by you?
In this grade, they also get homework that may be due not the next day, but maybe a few days later etc. Is your daughter showing you all of her homework, for the week?

Does the students have a school planner, in which they write down ALL of their homework, daily? Where do they, write down their homework?
Is she, writing down, all of her homework? Or forgetting to write down all of it? Maybe that is where the gap, is occurring.
Maybe... she is getting all of her work done, that you see. But maybe there is also other homework, which maybe she forgot to list down or that she forgot about.

For some reason, the Teacher(s) are not getting ALL of her homework, turned in, nor is it all signed-off on.
So- before you go into that meeting, make SURE you know... how the Teachers and kids, get their assignments and homework, organized, and what the routine, is.
ie: The students must write their homework somewhere per what the Teacher tells them, is homework and when it is due. DO you actually see, her assignment book in which all her homework is written in?

And per getting it signed off on... this is from the Teacher or from the parent?

Make sure you know how the students are expected to track and note down their homework and the due dates... before you assume the Teacher is just picking on her. Then, ask the Teacher, HOW do the students get their work signed off on and WHERE and when do they turn it in? Then see, where the problem is.

Also, there is homework, AND in-class work too, that students do daily. So, which one is not getting turned in?

In 6th grade, there is a ton more homework and work, period.
And they have different teachers per subject. (at least that is how it is at my district's middle school). AND, if a child is does not know how to "organize" themselves, they will, flounder.
Thus again, see how the Teachers, delegate homework and how they tell the students to write it down and where and per due dates. Also per projects. And what is the daily routine of how... the kids get homework assignments. Or... HOW a student... goes about doing make-up work.

I think I'd try to go into this with an open mind. Tell the teacher what you know (especially about the science homework), and then listen to what she has to say. For instance, if she says, "Well, little Susie never turned it in," then maybe your daughter can say, "Yes, I did. I turned it in on Monday the 17th" - who knows, maybe the teacher misplaced it, but your daughter shouldn't bear the brunt of that. Or maybe your daughter didn't turn it in. If that's the case, then ask the teacher what she recommends. This probably isn't the teacher's first rodeo - she will have some suggestions on how to get your daughter on track.

My DD is in 5th grade, and they gave them weekly planners this year. In it, they are to write down each subject and the given homework for that subject. Then, the teacher writes the homework on the class blog as well (so as a parent, I can check my daughter's planner against what the teacher says the assignments are). If there isn't such a system in place at your daughter's school, perhaps you could suggest this as a way for parents to help track the homework process. This is especially helpful for long-term projects, I've found.

Please don't go in there ready to rake the teachers over the coals. You don't know the full story because once your chiild leaves your house with her completed work, you cannot see if those papers ever actually land in the teacher's in-box or wherever they belong. I know for sure of kids in my daughter's sixth grade class who do work but leave it at home; leave it in a backpack and think it's at home and say "I did it but don't have it and will bring it in tomorrow" when it's right there in the backpack at school -- and so on, and so on.

Tell the teachers that you know she is completing the work because you see it that night before she is supposed to turn it in the next day. So the issue is not that she's refusing to do the work but that somewhere between home and turn-in time, she is forgetting what she must do next. Ask the teachers for strategies.

One thing that might help: Check her schoolbag. If it is a mess inside -- crammed full; bringing home a stack of heavy library books and carting them back and forth when she could leave them at home; disorganized -- make her clear it completely out; check it daily for books etc. that can be left at home; and have a neon-colored folder that goes in the front on top of all else, that contains what she must turn in each day. You might be shocked how much homework ends up crushed in the bottom of backpacks and the child thinks he or she has lost it or left it at home.

Copy, copy, copy EVERY paper she does. When the teacher says she didnt do it/turn it in you have proof she did do it. You also might want to ask her if shes having trouble with any kids in class or on the bus. My son had issues with kids taking work off the teachers desk then of course it was like he never turned it in. Very frustrating I know. Good luck with this & it will get better.

Hopefully you can have that conference soon and get to the bottom of what's happening. For now, try and stay centered and focus. If you daughter's school is like my son's, they now , not only have one teacher but several others... Which means, the kids have to keep organized and as they go from one teacher to another, they must quickly put an assignment back into their folders and or write something down.... sounds easy, but for a young person, it's a lot of multitasking and well, some kids do get distracted.. I am sure the teacher(s) may have some good suggestions ..

hang in there... this stuff has a way of working itself out

best to you

For some reason, some kids just don't turn the homework in. You said she says she doesn't have time to get it "signed off at school." My question would be why not? Apparently the rest of the class has time.

It sounds like my GD. She only gets about 1/2 of the class work done because the other 1/2 of the time she's daydreaming. She is not disruptive, does not disturb other kids; she's just in her own head.

I have a parent teacher conference today. I am going to see if she is still having this issue this year and if so, I'm thinking about getting her a stress ball to squeeze to try to keep her head in the game.

IMHO, it is important for her to learn to be responsible for her classwork, BUT I don't get too worked up about it as long as I KNOW she is doing the work and has grasped the concepts. After all, that's the end game.