6 Year Old Chewing on Things and Still Acting like a Baby!

My 9y does this sometimes. We respond with 'try again in your big boy voice'. When he does we answer. If he won't we ignore him.

M.

The chewing on everything might be because his adult molars in the back are coming in. My oldest was so uncomfortable I actually let him chew on a teether (not the ones filled with liquid obviously since he has so many teeth already) when he was at home. Those teeth really do hurt coming in. when he started getting loose teeth and the adult teeth were coming in he was also in discomfort. It's a possibility.

It really sounds like your son could be saddled with Sensory Integration Disorder along with his ADHD, and possibly other neurological deficits, as well. Have you told your pediatrician about this? I would think a careful evaluation would be in order.

Check this extensive checklist and see whether your son has other "sensory traits: http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...

Whatever is going on with him, it's important to recognize that all behavior is a means to get some need met. Children's behavior is pretty spontaneous and based on underlying needs – in this case, your son could be longing for more attention, particularly cuddling or tenderness.

It looks and feels like baby behavior, because that's the only way he can figure out to get his need met. You can probably help his behavior tremendously if you are proactively meeting his need – set aside 20 minutes a few times a day to cuddle the heck out of your little guy. When that need has been met, he'll probably struggle to get away from you so he can go on to other things.

There are probably a few moments here and there where he speaks in a calm, non-whiny voice. Be sure to NOTICE and comment that you appreciate those times. You may have to train yourself to watch for those moments because of the pattern that has been established, but that will be a much more powerful way to coax more of the desirable behavior (any behavior, actually) than criticizing or punishing for what you don't like. Kids crave attention almost above all else, and if they can't get it for positive behavior, they'll often settle for parental annoyance and even punishment. At least it's attention.

In that vein, empathy can be powerful. Rather that give him the message "X behavior is unacceptable and will get you punished," kids generally respond more positively and quickly to "I see by X behavior, you want/need more of Y. I really, really understand. I wish we could give you as much Y as you want. More, even! Now, let's go and do Z, so you'll have some time to do Y afterward."

My grandson never has reason to tantrum, and his acting out has almost disappeared since instituting this approach a couple of years ago (he's now 5). Though he does receive the logical consequences for his choices, punishment has virtually disappeared from his life – there's no need for it. His parents (or grandparents) don't have to coerce or manipulate him, or seldom even raise our voices, to get his calm, respectful, usually cheerful cooperation.

If this sounds as wonderful to you as it is, I hope you'll google Emotion Coaching to learn more. Here's one very informative link to get you started: http://www.education.com/reference/article/important-pare... . There are also some terrific books working with these techniques. One of my favorites is by Faber and Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk.

One other thing to investigate for children with neurological deficits is that food allergies, additives, and chemical sensitivities frequently play a HUGE role in troubled behavior. Any or all of these can make a kid too physically and emotionally uncomfortable, nervous, depressed, restless, and/or volatile to be able to live up to their potential. You might experiment with clearing all preservatives and artificial colors from his diet for at least a few weeks (it takes awhile to detoxify) and see if it makes a difference. Remove as many chemicals from his environment as you can. Use free and clear laundry detergent, NO fabric softeners, no air "fresheners," no scented household cleaners (baking soda and vinegar are both terrific cleaners, and leave no toxic residues).

Good luck. You may have to experiment a bit, but it sounds like you are feeling desperate because what's happening so far isn't working. As difficult as it is to be "cornered into" changes, you will probably make some positive, life-changing discoveries over the next several months.

My 6 year old chews on his shirt collars and sleeves. It is a nervous habit that he will probably outgrow. In the meantime, we made him a "chewie" necklace that we suggest he put on when he starts gnawing on his clothes. He doesn't chew on other things though.

He does whine though! Boy how he can whine! I tell him I can't understand him and ask him to ask again in his regular voice. Sometimes, when I am at wit's end, I whine back "I can't understand yoooo when you talk like thiiiiiiis". This always gets a laugh out of him.

Ignore sometimes his whining. I find if you give in or pay attention to their every whine you are promoting the behavior. Sometimes give your child a chance to just let off some steam and find another alternative to how he requests things. If he is being treated like a baby he will continue to act like one.