6 1/2 Mth Old Doesn't Want to Nurse... I Feel Guilty...

Hi Rona,

Please don't feel guilty about the feeding. I didn't make much milk either (I was working and definitely wasn't eating enough and staying properly hydrated... and I didn't always have time to pump at work) and eventually had to start supplementing. In the end, it was much easier to wean off at a year without my breasts getting engorged and uncomfortable. If you really still want to try solely breastfeeding, I think the best thing would be to get your milk supply back up like you were saying by:

1.) Drinking lots and lots of water and making sure you're getting enough calories during the day.
2.) Pump whenever you can, perhaps after you've tried breastfeeding or sometime between feedings and always when he skips off of you and uses a bottle. If you pump for more than 15-20 minutes in one sitting it will usually stimulate more let-down (only if you're properly hydrated). Just try not to overdo the pumping and get engorged!
3.) Once you feel your milk supply is back up and/or you've stored enough breastmilk, you can try stopping the formula and supplement the bottle feeding with only breastmilk. Then if he's still refusing eating off of you, try cutting out the bottle completely (if you're able) until he's more receptive.
4.) You may also want to try going back to newborn flow nipples on his bottles so that he has to practice sucking harder again. He may have just decided he doesn't want to work as hard to get his food and that's why you're having trouble with him eating off of you.

If you try and it still doesn't work, just know that formula was invented for a reason and your son will thrive on that as well!

Also, I don't know if this is what's happening with your son at all, but my son did something really similar for about a week when his front teeth were starting to come through (he was just about 6 months old). He wouldn't take a bottle or me except at night when he was tired and hungry and wasn't as particular. We just kept trying and he finally went back to eating just fine.

Good luck! You're doing a great job and your son will be fine either way!

E.

Rona,
you're awsome- you made it 6 months! Give yourself a break. My story isn't the same because I supplimneted at 3 weeks on Dr.s orders and my supply dwindled from there. At 6 weeks we stopped. But in that process I did so much reading on the subject. Woman have regained their supplies late in the game by just getting back on and breastfeeding until the cows come home. Yes, you can go that rought.

But, there are so many good reasons to stop after 6 months too. Like better marital relationship, a break from baby, sharing feedings with dad so he can bond too. People are so convinced that breastfeeding is the miricle drug, and it may very well turn out to be just that. But know that the jury is still out. The only conclusive scientific proven result of breasfeeding are fewer ear infections. The rest is speculatation and more likely linked to moms who stay home with thier babies vs. breastmilk.

Don't feel guilty. Nursing is only good if both you and the baby enjoy it. If you want to stop, stop. If you want to only breastfeed in the morning and the evening, that's fine too. I agree that you've given him the best start, and six months of breastfeeding is wonderful. You've gone longer than most of the people I know. I work from home, so it's easy for me to pump in my bedroom three times a day and toss the dirty pumping supplies into the dishwasher. I don't know if I would have continued on this long if I had to go out and about. We kept an emergency supply of formula in the diaper bag in case we were out and I couldn't breastfeed (like driving home from a party or family visit).

I try to view it this way - once they start solids, they're ingesting other things besides breastmilk. What's the difference if it's formula, juice, water or breastmilk? They aren't going to be on nothing but breastmilk their entire life; at some point they have to start consuming other things. Formula isn't poison. Yes, breastmilk is best, but there are plenty of healthy, happy babies in the world who have been raised on formula. Stressing out about it won't do you or your son any good. If he's happy with a bottle and you are happy with the convenience of being able to do what you need to do during the day, there's no issue.

Don't feel bad.
My son, was the same way. Exactly. I am a SAHM.. I nursed but my son was so impatient at the breast and he had an enormous appetite.. and was never satisfied. He latched on well, I had lots of milk, and he drank with no problem... but he got SO SO impatient at the breast.. he'd literally suck me dry then push my boob away and want a bottle & was very vocal about it. By this time, I was supplementing with formula about 2 times a day... under Pediatrician guidance. I would give him a bottle after nursing as a "chaser." Then, by the time my son was 1 year old... he literally didn't want to nurse at breast, and only wanted the bottle. And he grew like a weed.

This happened with my friend as well.

There will be some who may tell you increase your milk and just nurse, and you don't have to supplement with a formula bottle and you shouldn't have done that. And yes, try to increase your milk output. But, do not feel guilty about it if you need to give your son a bottle to supplement him. EACH case is different. I am a breastfeeding purist too.. but, in my son's case... he was not like my daughter who was exlusively breastfed until she was a toddler and self-weaned and I never used bottles with her ever.

The thing is... if a baby is refusing breast.. you can't "force" them to take it, no matter how much milk you have. I had tons of milk, but my son got to the point where he didn't want to nurse at breast, and just wanted his bottle. That's just him. I was not about to "force" the issue, just because of my issues about it. Nor was I going to refuse a feeding just because he refused my breast. My point was to make sure he fed on demand.. regardless if it was breast or bottle of formula or a bottle of breastmilk.

Bottles are just quicker and easier for some babies. Unlike nursing at breast, which requires more "work" for the baby to extract the milk. Bottles are just by gravity flow.

Just keep trying.. but if he constantly refuses breast...you NEED to feed him regardless, on demand. THAT is the point. Making sure your baby has sufficient intake and sustenance no matter what or how he gets it.

Don't beat yourself up over it. If anything, just try nurse him more often... but if he rejects it, you can't force that nipple in his mouth and make him take it.

All the best, I hope you don't get overly chastised for your situation and feeding of your son. It's not always easy... the primary thing is to make sure our baby gets fed. And for some Moms, exclusive breastfeeding does not always work out... no matter how we try.

Take care,
Susan

Rona,

Have hope, it's not too late to boost up your milk supply! One of the reasons he's probably not having the patience to nurse is because of the flow of milk. He obviously will take the breast when it's the fullest (in the morning) or when he's not starving but needs to eat (midnight feedings).

Every time he gets a bottle of formula and you are not replacing that feeding with a pumping session, you are telling your body to make that much less milk.

here are a few sites that can help you boost your milk supply.

workandpump.com
lowmilksupply.org
normalfed.com

how long you breastfeed or provide breast milk for you baby usually depends on your determination. sounds like you may be pretty determined. i'm here to cheer you on!!! and i'm sure many others moms here will too. any way he gets your breastmilk is a gift only you can give. :)

I had a very similar situation with my son. He never really liked nursing and was a big eater. At about 6 1/2 months we got sick and my milk went down. (He's 23 months now.) In the grand scheme, nursing is not as big of a deal as the books make it out to be. You've already passed the antibodies down (they don't get nearly as many as they get older). You've already given him more months of nursing than most babies get and if he's happy with formula then, I think, no problem. I felt totally guilty and worried and awful when this happened to me but for #2 if the nursing doesn't go smoothly I will just switch to formula when it happens (even if that is earlier). There's just no need to be stressed about this.... Most of us were raised on formula from Day 1 and we're just fine (our IQ's are high enough, he-he). My whole first year was plagued with 'mom guilt' and of course I still have it, but many times, things don't work like the books say. What I found is that being 'in tune' with my child and his likes, dislikes, unique development has made us closer and happier....and I think he's benefitting from not feeling the pressure of mom being worried about how thing "should" be done.