5 Yr Old Joining Football

I too have a 5 year old boy going into Kindergarten. We don't have football for 5 year olds in town, but he's going to play soccar in Sept. I think it's great to get them involved! It's good for you and them!

I completely totally agree with Dianna. Her advice covers it all, your boyfriend, while being very sweet offering, cannot teach him half of what a team could. If your son is interested and willing, I would definitely sign him up for the league. Your son and boyfriend can practice out in the yard on days off, great way to bond.

my little brothers were both in football from a young age. heres the truth. your son is not too young to be in a sport if you make sure he isnt subjected to any pressure. now the BUT... i assume nerf football and being so young, they are gentle, but for pop warner football which comes next, its very competative. parents do yell or say unnappropriate things, and children get a lot of pressure. some coaches are more about winning so you want to really know the type of person your are dealing with. if your child isnt a great player, there will be less time he gets played, and some parents may comment on that fact. then the children of these parents repeat it back to your son.

those are the facts from experience. they played football all the way up to high school and both excelled at it. i think it was wonderful for their esteem, confidence, resposibility, health consciousness, and understanding of consequences, teamwork, and accomplishing goals.

so my opinion of the bottom line- his age isnt the issue, more like if you are ready for everything that comes along with team sports. be prepared. football, as team sports in general, develop many positive attitudes in children and i think the benefits overall outweigh the negatives. they are remembered as some of the happiest memories in my adult brothers lives.

neither choice is a bad one, just go with your gut. good luck

I started my daughters in Knee-High soccer and Just for Fun baseball at the ages of 5. They honestly learned very little about the game.. They just got out there with other kids, ran around, took turns, learned to respect the authority of the Coach and were very proud of their uniforms! To this day, their 5 y/o team photos still hang on the wall. ( they're 18 and 13)

Being part of a team will give your son a bigger network of friends, connects you to the parents of his peers, and let him have some fun! A piece of advice is to sign him up for just one thing at a time. Foot ball is a fall sport. In the spring you can replace it with something else.. but don't pile on scheduled activities.

I think if your boyfriend wants to teach him the game of football, and play with him in the backyard, then you have a great boyfriend! The two activities are not mutually exclusive. Your son can have the team experience and also the one-on-one time he needs with the daddy figure.

You're his mom, you know best. Follow your gut, and have fun!

Getting your son into an organized sport is a great idea. But ask him what he wants to play, and also just be careful with football b/c he will get to an age when it will be tackle football and I have heard the huge risks of children playing tackle football at an early age. I have heard it isn't good to start playing football till High School b/c injuries will limit them from playing into college etc.

But getting him into something is a great idea!

Hi M.,

I agree with most of the other posts. Joining activities, especially right before kindergarten is a great thing, it helps the child socially and also is a great opportunity to meet other kids. It also helps with discipline and following instructions. I wouldn't look at it so much as just going to learn how to play football. My daughter is starting organized sports in our town in Sept. She just turned 4. I asked her first if she wanted to play and she said yes. I think it's great for them to get a taste of all different things to see what they really want to pursue when they get a little older. If your boyfriend really wants to be involved, he can still practice with him in your yard. And I doubt at 5 football is tackle. That usually doesn't start until around 2nd or 3rd grade. And remember to have fun, it's great to watch your child be involved in activities and interact with other children. The time goes too fast.

J.

I say put him in the league. He will make friends, he will learn how to be a "team player". Your boyfriend can also teach him in the yard, as well as on a team. Your boyfriend should also take part in going to his practices and games if he truly wants to be supportive. Organized sports is great for kids. I'm a true believer in organized sports.

There is a benefit to joining an organized sport team. It's about more than learning skills; he'll learn about what it means to be on a team-responsibility, cooperation, etc. I had my son in t-ball and he loved it.

It's nice that your boyfriend wants to be involved with your son, but your post implied that you are not yet divorced. Obviously, I don't know the situation, but I would caution that until the marriage is formally dissolved and you are "free" to pursue other relationships seriously, it might be in your kids best interest if they not get to highly attached to your boyfriend. God forbid it doesn't work out.

My oldest daughter was about 6 when she began soccer. Not only did it teach her discipline, but it also taught her good sportsmanship. True you could get more from one on one lessons of the game, but children also learn a lot from being a part of a team.

The other thing that comes to mind is what if your boyfriend had a long day at work and doesn't want to practice with him and your son has been looking forward to it all day. Good luck!

I think it is a great idea, he will be meeting new friends,and learning the basic skills of football as long as there is mild competition. At that age they shouldn't be pushing winning the game, but learning the sport and good sportsmanship. Your boyfriend can still toss the ball with him in the backyard. Being on a team sport has a lot of advantages.

Hi M.. I think it's a great idea. I have 2 children (a girl and a boy now 18 and 16)who have been involved in organized sports since they were 3 years old. Both of them started off with bowling, and my daughter also started with tap, ballet, and jazz. Not only does it help them interact with other children their own age, it teaches them basic structure such as learning to take turns and following directions. In some cases, parents are not allowed when the lesson is given so the child doesn't "act up" in their presence. Children tend to listen and take direction better from people who aren't close to them. As my children got older, they incorporated soccer, baseball, softball, wrestling, football, gymnastics, cheerleading, basketball, and playing musical instruments. They were always well behaved and focused. Much of it is attributed to beginning early. Not to mention the benefits of being well rounded, disciplined and involved, so their minds are not idle and they don't follow the "wrong crowd". It also helps prepare them for a good work ethic. Although they were very busy with their extracurricular activities, they both maintained good grades and were always on the honor roll.

We will be putting our son in hockey soon and he is 3 1/2. I think playing on the team is a great thing.We will not push if he hates it, but trying will not hurt.

I just read somewhere that 5 is too young, but also, football is a tough, rough sport as you know, and to put a 5 year old kid in it who doesn't really know what he is getting himself into may not be the way to go. Why not wait until he is older to see if he is even a football kind of kid (not all kids are) and to see if he himself would like to try it. If you want to put him in something else to get him out there and learn from other people, there are so many better options for a 5 year old than football. PS make sure it's not happening because your boyfriend is pushing it on him (and you).

Wow- your cousin's child sounds way too busy! Kids need to just play and have fun sometimes, you know?

On the other hand, if your child would like to play football- definitely let him try the Nerf League. There's a lot of benefit to having him learn good sportsmanship, rules, and basic social play with a group of kids. Just playing in the backyard won't teach him all of that. It sounds like you have good instincts here- follow them!

And what does your son want to do? Ask him!

I dont approve in organized sports before 2nd grade and even then it could be too early for a sensitive child. I think they are too young to compete with others. Maybe he will be the best and if he is he might expect to be the best at everything and be very disappointed when hes not. If he isnt the best right off, he might feel bad. Kids little egos are very fragile at that age. I have 2 grandsons 3 years apart. The younger one appears to be more competitive and atheletic. Well the older one (10) plays Little League and loves it. The younger one joined at 5 and hated it. He wasnt the best and couldnt compete with his brother either. He just wasnt ready and I dont know if he ever will be now. I think your cousin is pushing her son way too much and you are wise to have doubts.

I don't believe that your son is too young to be in organized sports. My 5 year old daughter was in T-ball this past Spring and will be starting Kindergarten this Fall. Although her dad spent time with her teaching her how to swing the bat and catch in the backyard, going to T-ball practice was invaluable. It taught her about teamwork as well as exposed her to a whole new group of friends. She also got the excitement of seeing tons of other girls her age excited about a sport. I think it's the best of both worlds to have your boyfriend practice with your son as well as enjoy getting him out on the field with a bunch of other little boys his age.

my son is also going into kindergarten and i have him doing karate because i feel he needs the focus and discipline it teaches.

this is my opinion only ;) .....

i think that there are going to be many many more years of running around and pressure to do sports and activities. they are only little once and kids need downtime too. i have no idea what to expect by way of homework and other things that the school does after hours... i want to do that with him too. AND i know my son, at least, needs plenty of sleep so he's not a bear in the morning.

so with that said, i think that you should ask him what he wants to do. he'll know. then choose one thing to focus on. if you are doing too much, it may be overwhelming for all of you.

feel free to email me :)

-L.

____@____.com

I have two boys ages 9 and 6. They have been participating in organized sports since the age of 4. I put them on these teams so that they would learn to socialize with other children their ages, possibly making friendships that would continue in school (it is easier if they already know somebody in the school) and so that they would learn that you don't always win but you should always have fun. They have always had a good time and it is a great learning experience for them as well. My only suggestion would be to make sure that football is a sport that your son would like to play. If not, you can choose another sport the results are the same and it would be something he enjoys.

First, ask your son if he's interested. If he is, then let him go for the fun of it and for the chance to make new friends, be outside getting some exercise, and learn about being on a team. You can learn about footbal with your son; have him show you what he's learning. As for your boyfriend, I'm sure the team is looking for help, most teams are. He can offer to help out at practice and can then practice at home with your son. Better to learn from a trained coach, in my experience. It is nice that your boyfriend wants to spend time with your son though. If your son is not interested, then let it go for now. Ask him about soccer, art, gymnastics -- there's lots out there to do. He doesn't have to be as involved in activities as his cousin, but it is good to choose something so he meets and has to interact with other children at a place other than school.

Hi M., I think its a great idea. Children learn discipline, respect, what its like to be a part of a team and most important they learn to focus. Its not the same as playing in your yard. Sports, any sport is a fantastic outlet for a child as well. Your son will have a great time! Good Luck...
J. B.

Hi M..
My first thought upon reading your note was that Ohhhhhh...he's too young.
But, upon reflection, it's a Nerf ball. Organized sports teach kids so much about sharing, camradry, being a team player, and good sportsmanship it's well worth it.
Good luck.

M.,

Every child is different. They don't need organized sports at age 5 in order to be successful at sports later on...backyard play can be just as good. Some kids are tired after school and don't need extra activity. Some kids get bored and antsy and need something to do. I personally don't let my kids play sports until middle school...there is lots of time later on to mess up family time, while they are little, we are going to eat dinner together every night and have plenty of family time...that's just my opinion. You have to do what is right for you and your son. Both ways could be good, it just depends on what your needs/goals are.

As for the boyfriend...it is ok for him to have an opinion and share it, but he is not the parent. You are. Disagreeing with him on this and doing it your way is actually a great opportunity for you to see your boyfriend in action. How he responds for you not doing something he suggests can be a good indicator of what a future with him might be like.

D.

Hi M.,

While a lot of kids are in "organized" sports through the rec dept or school district from 4 or 5 years old, I've always been the type of parent who never just signed my kids up for an activity, the choice was always offered to them. Have you asked your son whether he wants to play football, or told him the choices of sports and asked if he would like to participate in one? I think that's the first step in deciding.
At young ages, there's actually not a lot of organized playing going on, it's very non competitive at this age. At 5, there are lots of kids out in the field picking the dandelions and paying no attention, or crying and refusing to play, etc (and it could be your child) so he may not be learning a whole lot at this early age, most of the kids are not really serious about the sport at kindergarten level.
If your son is interested and thinks he would enjoy it, there's no reason not to.

I don't know about football or soccer, but my daughter started karate at four years old and loves it. She been doing for more then a year and is getting very good. Maybe karate might be a good first step, its usually only once a week. Good luck with kindergarten.

Martial arts, yes. Organized sports, I'd think about it first. You really need to go to one or two of the football games to see how they are playing it. It should be tag football and not tackle, because 5 is much too young to be coming home with football injuries. The bones are still developing and you want them to develop properly.

Martial arts, especially kung fu are good for young children; because it teaches them how to stay focused, respect, self-esteem, self-control, and takes a lot of concentration. Some martial arts teacher will even teach them about proper nutrition. It is also more individualistic, so they are constantly competing with themselves.

He could join a swim team. This way his water safety would be even better with the benefit of trying to do his best for the team.

Gymnastics is another good choice. It builds muscles and balance.

Tennis for hand-eye co-ordination.

Baseball - for organized team sports and learning to work together with your team mates as well as being patient.

Have him try it and if he hates it don't force him to go. Being in organized sports teach so much more than just the sport skills. It teaches them team work, sportsmanship,verbal, physical and language skills as well as its great exercise and gets them off the couch and on their feet. In America we have a huge number of obese childen and if they were made to turn off the tv and do a sport that # would decrease greatly. Your boyfriend should be encouraged to help practice his skills. It is good quality time for them both! A.

Okay...first off, he's YOUR son. If you want him in this nerf team..go for it. It will do him good interacting with others outside of the family. Your boyfirend on the other hand..seems to want to be in control..I have issues with that and feel those types of men can and should be replaced.

Since he is only your boyfirend, make the decisions pertaining to your children as if you were single. I don't mean to be harsh, but I made the mistake with my last ex about not letting MY son join the Big Brother's program because the ex had issues with them. My son missed out on a great program and the ex is not longer in the picture.

Nanc

your boyfriend is right in that football can be taught one on one in the backyard for free. However if it isn't a money issue I think it would be more fun for your son to do the league for social reasons. Football at the end of the day is a TEAM sport so he would benefit from understanding that part of it. Please keep in mind that league or no league at age 5 this is really about making friends, and having fun, and will not be "serious" at all. I'm more curious as to why you boyfriend is so invested in your son not being part of league. Is he trying to save you money. Is he looking for ways to bond with your son? He can still do that even if you son is in a league. You are the mother of two boys, recently separated and dating. Please take care to put your children before you love life.

your son will let you know if he is ready. If he is enjoying it then he's ready! And really...how organized could it be? It is more for socialization and activity--with hopefully a few skills mixed in! Also, why can't your BF still play with him in the back yard? Does it have to be one or the other?

Dear M.,
Let me start by saying that your cousin already has her son in too many activities, especially at such a young age. The child will be a nut case before he enters elementary school.
The important thing is to allow children to do what they want to try. Ask your son if nerf football would be something he would like to do. If he shows interest, then it would be a good learning experience in the sport and a way for him to learn to socialize with other children. When you push a child too soon, it can turn them off to a sport. It's important for them to find their own niche and interests.
May I speak to you from experience? My husband and I were both gymnasts, yet neither of our children had an interest in the sport. I was also a softball player and put my son in T-ball at an early age -I was even the coach. He hated it because he was bored, yet growing up he loved playing ball with me at home, but he would not play baseball on a team. I was a ski instructor, and so my children grew up on the mountain as avid skiers. Now in their 20's, they have no interest in skiing. Our daughter ended up being a horseback rider and now has her own horse. Our son plays soccer and ice hockey, and is a nut about physical activity.
Basically, what I am recommending is do not push too hard, too soon. Relax. Take your cue from your child and direct him in what area interests them. You will all be happier.
Sometimes parents try to get their kids involved in as many activities as possible. It ends up getting the everone stressed in the process.
I hope I have been of some help. Good luck, W.

Hi M.,
No matter what you decide you should be careful as to how many activities you involve your son in at this age. Since he is only 5 he still is going to want to just play when he gets home from school. If he is fine with playing in the backyard I'd keep it at that. Too often parents over shedule their children. If you start at this young age it will be nearly impossible as they get older to keep their schedules balanced. Kids grow up so quickly. Let these last few innocent years play out the way your son would enjoy them. Keep in mind, just because something is offered, or because someone else allows their kids to do things, doesn't mean you need to. But after saying all that - you know your son best. If you think he'd enjoy it, go for it. If you are only thinking you'd like him to join so that he can learn to work well with others, he'll learn that at school and through playdates. Best of luck in whatever decision you make!

I think you should ask your son if he wants to do it first, and if he says he does... go for it!

My son started flag football when he was 5 and it was definitely fantastic for him (even better than the T-ball and basketball he had done at 4). Outside of learning the sport, they teach them discipline and to look out for one another. My favorite thing from football was the kids on the team built such a bond and really looked out for and helped one another out.

He is 6 now and just started his second season of football, and for the kids who played last year... you hear the parents (including me) talk about how excited the kids were for the season to start... walking around w/their cup or mouth piece on first thing in the morning... wearing their cleats for two weeks before practice... things like that. And we have a lot of first year players and let me tell you.... those little ones are having a BALL learning everything.

Good luck!

I think any team sport is a plus...it's not about the skill lever of a 5 year old, it's about being part of a team and learning social skills.

My 5 year old is starting dance in the fall...sure, I could twirl her around the living room with some pretty music, but it'd be bettter for her to follow directions from a teacher and interact with her peers. LOL.

Best wishes to you.
J.

PS - Don't take this wrong...but your son has nothing to do with your boyfriend...it's between you and your husband.

Honestly it has nothing to do with learning the game of football. Team play teaches good sportsmanship and how to work as a team. You learn to depend on others for help and trusting that your teammates are there to help you and you them. It teaches commaradery and friendships. Yes your boyfriend can teach him the game and the rules...but playing with a team will teach him much more then that. If your boyfriend wants to be so involved tell him to become a coach or help with the games. For the record, I almost started my son in soccer this year...he's 4.